In the Shadow of Mountains: The Lost Girls
Chapter Forty-Nine
Jai-Soo
For a moment no one moved. Then Paula screamed in delight and pounced on a very surprised looking Jai-Soo, hugging her tightly.
“You’re alive! You’re alive! Oh, Jai-Soo, I’m so glad! When you didn’t come back I was so worried!”
Jai-Soo was almost bowled over by Paula. She fell back and had to sit on the side of the steps. For a brief moment she looked confused and embarrassed by the way Paula had wrapped herself so tightly around her, but then her expression softened and she patted Paula gently on her back.
“Did I not pledge to you that I would return?” she told her.
“But you took so long!” Paula exclaimed. “The others have been back for ages! They said there were monsters and things in the corridors below, and that they thought you’d been eaten! I was so worried, Jai-Soo!”
Jane then added, “Yeah, we all thought you were dead!”
“I am not dead, nor eaten,” Jai-Soo pointed out to the girls who had gathered around her.
Anne was also happy to see Jai-Soo. Happy and greatly relieved. “I’m glad you’re alright, Jai-Soo. We were all worried about you. What took you so long?”
Jai-Soo stared at Anne and the girls. She seemed somewhat confused by the sudden attention heaped upon her. “I was merely delayed by the uniforms. I chose far more packages than I had arms to carry.”
Karen picked up one of the fallen packages. “Uniforms? Whose uniforms?” she asked Jai-Soo.
“The uniforms we all once wore. I retrieved them from the store rooms in the ship. I brought most of them for Soo-Kai. I did not mean to cause alarm.”
Rolf was startled by her remark. “For Soo-Kai? Why?”
Before Jai-Soo could reply, Paula said, “Oh, never mind about those! I’m just happy that Jai-Soo has come back!”
Rolf wasn’t to be put off so easily. “But I want to know!” he insisted. “Answer me, Jai-Soo. Why did you bring these uniforms?”
He spoke so harshly that everyone stopped and stared at him. Even Paula looked up at him in surprise. But Jai-Soo’s reply only caused more consternation.
“You do not know?”
“Of course I don’t know!” Rolf almost snapped. “I wouldn’t be asking if I knew, would I?”
Now Jai-Soo looked at Rolf more closely. She could see that he was being truthful. When she looked at Soo-Kai, her expression confused Jai-Soo. It almost made her believe that they both didn’t know. But that couldn’t be possible. Soo-Kai had to know. Then why was she keeping silent? There had to be a reason for her silence, a reason that Rolf was not aware of. Being bonded must be complicated, Jai-Soo thought. But maybe it was something she could not see? She constructed her answer carefully.
“I bring these uniforms because our uniforms have all worn out. The chance to replace them once we entered the ship was not overlooked. We all stopped to change. And when the way across the cavern proved to be too perilous in the darkness, I stopped to collect some more on our way back. I also changed again, leaving the mud encrusted uniform behind. I bring eight more uniforms with me, one each for El-Vin and Kai-Tai, and six for Soo-Kai.”
“Six!” Rolf exclaimed. “Why six for Soo-Kai?”
Jai-Soo looked at Soo-Kai. Still she kept silent. There was nothing more Jai-Soo could do. “Because she may need them,” she finally said.
Rolf turned to stare at Soo-Kai. But before anyone could say anything, Prince Carl laughed. He laughed long and loud, and when he spoke, it was in an equally loud voice.
“Congratulations, tailor! You have sown more than just thread!”
For a brief second there was silence. Then Jemma cried, “Soo-Kai’s preggers!” and everyone cheered or laughed.
Now they all know! Even the incorrect know of your evil! Discard them! Vent them!
No!
Poison them! Starve them! Purge them from your womb!
Stop it!
Rolf was speechless. Speechless, dumbfounded and completely shocked. But it was suddenly so obvious. The reason why Soo-Kai had refused to even discuss the possibility of children recently, her mother’s words about what she did, and how she would have to put it right if their bond was ever broken, and finally the six uniforms brought by Jai-Soo. All of these things were an indication of the same truth, and suddenly it was all so clear.
While everyone else smiled and patted him on the back, Rolf just stared at Soo-Kai. He had forgotten the most important thing that she had told him, that to be successful she had to ignore what went on in her body, to pretend it wasn’t happening. That was why she had suddenly stopped talking about it. That was why she had looked so upset when Kai-Tai had spoken to her, and why she had tried to stop him when he had argued with her.
Soo-Kai had struggled so long to get the balance right that Rolf had given up believing it would ever happen. And now that it actually had happened at last, he hadn’t even suspected. Oh, why was he such a fool?
Rolf grabbed Soo-Kai, pulling her close and hugging her tightly. All those in the chamber thought he was doing it because he was overcome with joy. They were only partly right. Because Rolf’s joy was balanced by an equal amount of fear. He knew why Soo-Kai kept so quiet, why she still didn’t speak. There was still a chance of rejection. And that chance frightened him as much as it obviously frightened her. He squeezed her tightly, and whispered urgently in her ear.
“Ignore them, my wife. They speak of someone else. Do not hear their idle words. They do not understand what they say. It is a mistake. They speak of someone else. Think of the journey home. Tell me the path we must take.”
Rolf kept repeating what he said over and over again. He kept telling her that they were talking about someone else, that they had got it wrong. And always he tried to distract her, trying to make her think of something else, anything else. At first, Soo-Kai didn’t respond. But slowly she raised her arms and placed them around Rolf.
“Yes,” she whispered back to him. “It is a mistake. They speak of someone else. The path we must take is the trail to the village of Arlem. But well before the village we must bear left, passing the exposed wreck of the assault ship. Hold me, my husband. Drown out their voices, and the voice in my mind. Let me hear only yours.”
Rolf responded straight away. He turned and shouted at everyone.
“Quiet! Mind your own business! This is private!”
Everyone instantly shut up and looked slightly embarrassed. Rolf didn’t care. To him, no one else existed anymore. He went back to hugging Soo-Kai and whispering in her ear. “Tell me about our house. Describe it, Soo-Kai, and tell me what fills it.”
Jai-Soo stared at Rolf and Soo-Kai, her head tilted slightly to one side. She had been right, then. There was something wrong, something that she couldn’t see. It was often like that, but it rarely mattered. Her interest in them faded, and she turned to look at Paula instead.
Paula had sat down on the side of the steps next to Jai-Soo, looping her arm through hers. She seemed happy and content just to sit next to her.
Jai-Soo wondered about the young girl, and about her feelings towards her. But it was her own feelings that troubled Jai-Soo. Why did she feel so comfortable being close to this human female? Why had she placed her life in danger for her? And why did these human children not anger or disturb her? There were too many questions to answer, and it made her head ache.
On the other side of Jai-Soo, Emile had also sat down next to her. As she turned and looked down at him, he also looped his arm through hers.
Here was another one that puzzled her. He was still immature, a toose, but she could taste the early signs of manhood in him. But even more strongly, she could taste his interest in her. Did he pursue a bond with her? The blade of her sword had not cut him. He had returned it to her unscathed and remained close to her. Only when she had followed the others into the ship had he stayed behind. Like the girl, his attention to her, and her attempts to understand her own feelings towards him, gave Ja
i-Soo a headache.
As Jai-Soo looked down at him, Emile smiled at her. Jai-Soo smiled back at him. She didn’t know why.
Jai-Soo began to look more closely at all the other humans. It was strange how they had reacted when Rolf had shouted at them. They had quickly busied themselves with one another, sitting down together and talking. It was as if his words had not been spoken. But some sat by themselves, like Van-Es-A. She intrigued Jai-Soo; she was so much like the other they had found in the forest. Atlantians, both of them. Even Kai-Tai had sensed it. They were siblings from the same birthing, as alike as two Destroyers. Now she was the only one left. Jai-Soo could sense her sadness and anger.
Jai-Soo suddenly stiffened, sitting up straight.
It was only now when she thought about Kai-Tai that Jai-Soo had realised that she and Soo-Kai were the only two Destroyers in the chamber. It became clearly apparent in Jai-Soo’s expression as she turned anxiously to Paula.
“Have the others left?” she asked her.
Paula nodded. “They left about twenty minutes ago.”
Jai-Soo now turned to Prince Harold. “Your treaty is ended?”
The Prince also nodded. “Regretfully, yes.”
Now Jai-Soo really did look worried. “I am left behind. I should not be here.”
Jai-Soo started to get up, but Paula held onto her and pulled her back down again, quickly hugging her.
“No! I don’t want you to go!”
Jai-Soo tried to prize her loose. “Please, Paul-A. You should not hold me like this. Release me. I should not be here.”
Paula either didn’t hear, or didn’t care. She just hugged Jai-Soo tighter than ever.
In exasperation, Jai-Soo took hold of Paula’s ponytail and used it to pull her head back so that she could look right into the young girls’ face. Now that she had Paula’s attention, she spoke softly but purposefully to her.
“I am sorry, Paul-A. I do not mean to hurt you, but you must release me or we may both be killed.”
Paula had developed a sullen expression, but Jai-Soo’s words to her quickly changed that expression to one of fear.
“But why? What’s the matter?” she said in surprise.
As Paula spoke she relaxed her hold on Jai-Soo. In turn, Jai-Soo released her grip on Paula’s ponytail and took the opportunity to remove Paula’s arms from around her.
“I am an Androktone, a Destroyer. The treaty between us and the Prince is at an end.” Jai-Soo spoke as if her words explained everything. They obviously didn’t to Paula.
“But what has that got to do with us?” she demanded. “You’re my friend, aren’t you?”
“You are human, I am a Destroyer, we cannot be friends.”
Now Paula became tearful. “But you saved me! You helped me run when that monster was going to eat me! You didn’t even leave me when it tried to swallow us both! You stayed with me! Why do you want to go now? What’s the matter with me? Why does everybody leave me? Dad left because of me! It’s not fair!”
Jai-Soo suddenly shook Paula. It was rather violent, but brief.
“Quiet!” she demanded.
Paula shut up, more stunned than hurt.
“Why do you humans speak such nonsense?” Jai-Soo continued. “Why must you feel the sadness of the condemned when you are the innocent?”
Paula just stared at her with wide eyes.
“Humans, Navak, Terrans,” Jai-Soo sighed, shaking her head. “Listen to me, Paul-A, and listen well. I am a Destroyer. I have an instinct to kill that I cannot deny. We call it the Purpose. The treaty with the Prince has allowed me to relax this Purpose for a short time. It was to our advantage, and we still killed, so the achievement was not difficult. And while the Purpose has lain dormant within me, I have been able to relate with you and the others. I have felt sadness at your loss and I have felt an affinity to your cause. And yes, I have felt an attachment. But now that the treaty is over the Purpose will resurface in my mind. It will obliterate all my feelings towards you. I will become hostile and aggressive. If I stay, I will hurt you, so I must leave, and I must leave quickly. It is for the best.”
Paula found her voice. “But I don’t want you to leave!” she begged. “Please stay with me! I like you, Jai-Soo! I want you to stay!”
Jai-Soo could sense the sadness in Paula, but she could also sense the understanding in her that caused it. She reached out and gently caressed Paula’s face, wiping away her tears.
“And I like you, too,” she said more softly. “I cannot explain why, but I feel an interest, a curiosity in all of you. I do not wish to see any of you harmed, but now that the treaty is over my perspective will change and my nature will harden. I am not bonded like Soo-Kai, so if I stay, I will hurt you, and my act in helping you earlier will be cancelled out.”
“I don’t believe it!” Paula insisted. “You’re not like the others! Nan-Po wouldn’t have cared if we had all got eaten! She didn’t stop to help me, but you did! And none of them thought about collecting uniforms for El-Vin and Soo-Kai. They don’t care about each other at all. You’re different, Jai-Soo!”
Jai-Soo nodded. “You are right, I am not perfect. I carry a defective gene. But I am not passive, either. The others tolerate my defective nature because it does not affect my pursuit of the Purpose. They are correct in their assessment. When the sun rises I will see you all differently. I will kill you, or you will be forced to kill me. In either outcome there will be sadness. In your heart you know I speak the truth. And like me, you do not wish this to happen. I must go.”
At last Paula had no answer. She looked very sad, but all she could do was sniffle.
Jai-Soo got to her feet. She picked up two of the packages of uniforms and made her way towards the debris that led up to the chamber above. Anne reached out to take her arm as she passed.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
Jai-Soo nodded briefly. Again there was that look of confusion and embarrassment in her eyes, and then she had turned away from Anne and moved on. But she paused again when she reached Rolf and Soo-Kai.
Jai-Soo tugged on Soo-Kai’s pigtail. Soo-Kai looked up from Rolf’s shoulder, and the two Destroyers rubbed cheeks briefly.
In the instant of their touch, Jai-Soo understood the reason for Rolf and Soo-Kai’s confused reactions.
“Take the uniforms,” Jai-Soo told Soo-Kai. “You never know when you may need them.”
Soo-Kai nodded, unable to answer, and a moment later, Jai-Soo had bounded up the debris and disappeared through the gap in the doorway.