Clarity

  My stomach turned over. “What about Perdita?”

  He rubbed the back of his neck, and colour flooded his cheeks. “The curse works in strange ways sometimes. Your story is a lot like mine. I met Diana at school when we moved to a new place. We were kids, teenagers. But Louis saw her first, and he felt like he had some sort of claim on her.”

  “You better be kidding,” I said, unable to stop the growl in my throat.

  “He was wrong,” Byron continued hurriedly. “That’s the point. He was my twin, so he had a connection to her. Before he met your mother, he felt a little hard done by. He thought he had been robbed of his chance at happiness. He had this idea that, because we were twins, there was one option of a soul mate, and that I had stolen her from him.”

  I wasn’t expecting that. I gestured for Byron to hurry up with the story.

  “Of course, when he met your mother, he realised how ridiculous he had been, and I sensed the same connection with your mother as he felt with Diana. His feelings for Diana were nothing compared to how he felt for your mother, but until you’ve felt it, you can’t understand. You can’t know how great your capacity is for feeling until you’ve experienced it.”

  “Why are you telling me this?”

  “Because I sense the same thing with you and Amelia. She has that same connection to Perdy. Not as strong, obviously, she’s not a wolf. But it’s there. I’m afraid that it might work with cousins, too. It’s not necessarily bad, just more confusing.”

  “This is just... just... are you saying that Jeremy might think he actually has a chance with Perdy? Or that she was never mine? Because I swear—”

  “Oh, calm down, you moody pup. I’m saying be prepared for feelings that don’t make sense. That’s all. Listen to me. These connections are good. Good for the pack. It’s when people start dying that the connections hurt. Make the most of them while you can.” His eyes turned sad, and his mood shifted completely, but I couldn’t let go of that spark of anger.

  “Nothing’s going to happen. Or at least it won’t if you start acting like the wolf you’re supposed to be. It’s time for changes, Byron, whether you like it or not. You can’t keep hiding away in your office when there’s a house to look after, bills to pay. We can’t live on fast food and secrets forever. It’s not good for us. It’s not good for the wolf, and I can’t hack it.”

  Byron stared at me in surprise, and I felt the shaky relationship between us wobble even further.

  “I’m sorry,” I said. “But you need to wake up and soon. Those wolves could come back at any time. In case you haven’t noticed, you’re the only adult around. Somebody has to deal with it.”

  I stormed out of the room, shaking with the fury running through my veins. Byron made me crazy at the best of times, but I couldn’t carry on the way we were going. He was strong—I could sense his strength when we ran as wolves—but he never tried to live up to his potential, and that drove me nuts. To make sure my sister and girlfriend stayed safe, I needed him to indulge in that aggressive streak.

  I needed him to let the wolf out of its cage.

  Chapter Five

  Perdita

  I changed clothes at least four times before finally settling on an outfit for the memorial. Amelia and I had decided not to wear black because Lia had loved colour in life. We agreed to wear a black flower in our hair and leave that as the extent of our mourning fashion. I hoped Byron wouldn’t be offended. We weren’t being disrespectful, just acknowledging Lia in our own way.

  When I went downstairs, Dad, Gran, and even Erin were waiting for me. They were all dressed in black.

  I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. “What’s this about then?”

  Dad glanced at Erin, who rolled her eyes and said, “We thought it would be nice if we all came with you.”

  “Um, it’s okay,” I said, panicking. “It won’t be... the kind of thing you’re used to.”

  “We know there’ll probably be cultural differences.” Gran sounded pretty excited.

  “Uh, you could say that,” I said slowly. I had no idea if there was going to be any kind of odd werewolf ceremony, like after Lia had died, and I didn’t want my family there gawking at the weirdness. On the other hand, the memorial was taking place in the community hall, so it couldn’t be too off the wall.

  “Perdy, we know you were upset when Nathan’s grandmother died. We want to support you,” Dad said.

  I melted. I couldn’t make them stay home when they had been worrying about me so much. Gran was even making the effort to be around Erin, all for me. For some reason, I felt a lump in my throat. “Fine. You can come. But act normal, even if things get weird.”

  They all exchanged bemused glances, but I couldn’t even try to explain. I had no idea what to expect.

  Small groups of people hung around outside the community hall when we arrived. A couple of adults approached us to gossip, basically. None of them knew much about Lia, and they were apparently curious about the whole family.

  “What kind of people would want to live on a ghost estate?” an old woman whispered to Gran. “It’s practically abandoned.”

  “People who want peace from gossiping ‘oul wans,” I muttered under my breath, earning a nudge from Dad.

  “She never once came to any of our outings.” The old woman tutted, turning up her nose. “And now they’re using our hall.”

  I gazed at Dad pleadingly, and he pushed me ahead with a small smile. We walked into the community hall together, and I couldn’t believe how different the normally bland centre appeared. Vibrant colours flashed in every corner.

  I caught sight of Nathan speaking with Amelia at the front of the room. He turned around to look at me as I took a step toward him. We both grinned, and I couldn’t help wondering if he somehow sensed me standing there. He hurried over to us, and it was only then that I noticed he was wearing a suit. And looking extremely hot in it, too.

  He touched my hands lightly before turning to my family and thanking them for coming. I could almost hear the brownie points racking up. I made a gagging sound when he called Dad “sir,” but they all ignored me and acted as if it was perfectly normal.

  “Do you mind if Perdita sits with me?” he asked Dad, who had no choice but to say it was fine.

  “Please, do not embarrass me,” I hissed at my family before I left to join Nathan. “No gossiping either!”

  “When have I ever embarrassed you?” Dad looked as if butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth.

  “Please, Dad. I like him, okay? So be nice.” Ignoring the surprise on my dad’s face, I followed Nathan, leaving my family to their own devices.

  He looked back, totally catching me checking him out. “So you like me, eh?”

  “What did I tell you about eavesdropping? Keep walking, slick.”

  “Not my fault you’re loud,” he teased, taking my hand.

  Two sets of rows of chairs ran parallel and were divided by a long royal blue rug, the same chairs and rug used for everything that went on in the community hall. Nathan led me up front to join Byron and Amelia. Byron nodded at me and took his turn at the top of the room, greeting everyone who showed up. There was a mixture of well-known faces and complete strangers, but it seemed as if everyone gazed in our direction.

  “Maybe I should sit somewhere else,” I said, glancing around nervously.

  “Don’t be stupid. You’re part of us now,” Nathan said abruptly, his good mood gone.

  I could hear the strain in his voice. I squeezed his hand, and a lot of tension left his shoulders.

  “Sorry,” he said, shaking his head.

  I didn’t mention sitting elsewhere again. I got the sense he needed me close by, and I guessed that Jakob hadn’t called. I tried not to feel angry about that. I ignored the staring and gazed about the room, wondering who had doused it in colour. The room was covered in flowers—not bunches, nor vases, but actual planters and flowerpots. The effect was unusual, but it made me feel more at home somehow, as though we were
n’t at something solemn, as though it wasn’t the end of anything.

  It took at least fifteen minutes for everyone to be seated, and I wondered what was going to happen. Nathan hadn’t been very forthcoming, and I would have felt awkward asking him twenty questions about it.

  The room quieted somewhat, and I glanced behind me to see Byron heading for us, his face paler than usual. A bearded Jakob came after him, closely followed by a young man I had never seen before. That one stared right at me with a funny look on his face, and Nathan’s fingers gripped mine hard.

  “Ouch,” I hissed. Nathan loosened his fingers, flexing them repeatedly. “You okay?” I whispered, unable to understand the new tension in his shoulders.

  He nodded, keeping his eyes on the others, and a shudder ran through me.

  The three men sat in the row of chairs across from ours, and an old man with glasses stood and walked to the front of the room. He smiled at everyone and thanked them for coming before speaking about Lia. He seemed to have known Lia well, because he began with a couple of memories of her, sweet ones designed to make us all laugh rather than cry. He called a few people forward, and they all gave their own little speech about Lia. There was nothing religious about it, more like a group of friends sharing memories.

  The weird tension left the air, and the event became something special. By the time it was over, I felt a warmth that had been missing since Lia’s death. The shock was a little less raw, the guilt a little less suffocating. Amelia cried, but it wasn’t that mournful cry that made me feel as though her world had just ended.

  I enjoyed the memorial more than I expected. I liked how it made me feel, and for a while, I forgot all about the things that had been dragging me down. It was nice to get to know Lia in a different way, through the eyes of others. I knew it would help the whole family fit in, with neighbours getting to experience a slice of her life. Rumours had been spreading about Nathan’s family recently, but the stories told at the memorial would hopefully give them a chance to be part of the community.

  We all walked to the graveyard afterward, each of us carrying a flowerpot. It was a strange procession, but it touched me deeply.

  Nathan had been in a foul mood since his grandfather had shown up, and Amelia shrugged when he walked ahead to join some of his friends from school. The boys had turned up after the match. They hadn’t won, so that was probably the reason for their sombre moods. I couldn’t tell what was going on with Nathan, and I didn’t really care to work out what his mood swing meant.

  We laid our flowers around Lia’s grave. I helped Amelia take some to an abandoned section of the graveyard because she didn’t want the older graves to be left barren.

  “Well, how would you like to be forgotten?” she asked sharply when I raised a brow.

  More tears were shed, someone sang a song, and then we all went back to Nathan’s house for food and drink. Judging by Jakob’s expression, he had absolutely no interest in hosting a wake, but Byron seemed insistent on it. I walked with my family, while Nathan and Amelia caught up with their grandfather. I didn’t particularly want to be around Nathan while he was in a mood. I could understand sad or upset, but he was livid, and I had no clue why. Those flashes of anger were becoming disturbingly more frequent. I didn’t recognise him when he acted that way. I didn’t particularly like him when he acted that way.

  “That was really something,” Dad said.

  “Oh, Dad.” I expected him to go all weird and call them hippies or something.

  “No, I mean, I liked it. Everyone’s talking about how beautiful a sending off it was. We all missed her funeral. It was nice that they did this. Everyone’s been saying it. They’re a part of the community now. And you know what? She sounded like a wonderful person.”

  “She was,” I said, crossing my fingers that nobody would ask questions about the real funeral because I was pretty certain it hadn’t been legal. “She kept them all together. Now she’s gone, and everything’s messed up.”

  Erin put her arm around my shoulder. “When someone leaves, another person takes over their role. It can take time for things to get sorted. They’ll be fine.”

  “I hope so.”

  Nathan’s family had made up a story about Lia’s death, telling everyone that she hadn’t been in the country when she had a heart attack and died. A death certificate from France had arrived a fortnight later, along with lots of other falsified documentation that allowed Nathan’s family to bury Lia in the local cemetery. That was strange enough, but Nathan hadn’t gone into any details, and I wasn’t altogether sure there was even a body in the grave we had visited. I had the strongest feeling that an awful lot of secrets remained.

  Dad and Erin’s fingers remained permanently entwined, and although Gran gazed at them disapprovingly, she didn’t make one disparaging remark, which was a massive relief. I really needed her to lay off the battles for that one day.

  A buffet of food had been laid out when we finally arrived at Nathan’s home. I didn’t know who had organised everything, but they had done an amazing job. It was almost like a party, but then, every wake I’d ever been to had ended up having a party feel to it, so I wasn’t too surprised. All of the guests seemed to be enjoying themselves. Lots of goodwill had been earned, and I figured the whole thing was a huge success.

  Nathan’s family were the only ones who acted as though they didn’t want to be there.

  Chapter Six

  Perdita

  I didn’t see Nathan for at least an hour, and when he finally appeared, he dragged me out of the living room after him, a scowl on his face.

  “What’s up?” I asked in the hallway.

  “Nothing.”

  “Okay, stop. Right now.” I wriggled out of his grip and put my hands on my hips, glaring at him. “What’s your problem?”

  “Nothing. Let’s just get this over with, okay?”

  “Nathan! You can’t ignore me and then come over and pull me by the hair like a little caveman!”

  “What? I didn’t pull your hair.” He backed up, his hands raised defensively.

  “It’s a figure of speech. I’m talking about the way you’ve been acting! I thought you were done with the bossy aggressive crap because you hunted this week. What’s with you?”

  He avoided my eyes, reminding me of Amelia in a sulk. “Opa wants to see us. Can we deal with that first?”

  Ignoring his foul mood, I brushed past him and stalked toward Byron’s office. Amelia, Byron, and Jakob were there, as was the young man who had been sitting with Byron and Jakob at the memorial. He stared at me a little too long, and I felt extremely uncomfortable under his gaze.

  Despite still being miffed at Nathan’s attitude, I edged closer to him. Without moving more than an inch, he had managed to stand in front of me protectively. I got scared. Nathan rarely acted quite like that. His anger flew off him in waves, his eyes dilating like crazy, for no reason I could see.

  “We won’t get a chance to speak until the crowds move on, and seeing as they’re Irish, that might take a while,” Jakob said. I tried not to bristle at his words.

  Jakob sat in Byron’s chair, and Byron was pretty much in the corner, forgotten by his own father. He looked almost as pissed off as Nathan.

  “I found our fourth in Turkey, and this seemed like the perfect time to come home.” There was something exceptionally cold in his strangely flat tone of voice. I badly missed the old Jakob.

  “Yeah, that’s great,” Nathan said. “Find out anything important when you ran away?”

  Jakob stilled, his face paling with anger. “Enough of your attitude, Nathan. We don’t have time for the tantrums of a child.”

  “Why don’t I take the kids outside while you two catch up?” Starey McGawky said, ushering Nathan, Amelia, and me out into the hall before anyone could argue.

  “Kids?” Nathan sounded furious.

  “Come on, little cousin. I saved your life back there. Trust me. You don’t want to get in his way right now. B
esides, you are kids.”

  “Wait. You’re Jeremy?” I blurted.

  “Who were you expecting?” he asked.

  I shook my head, swallowing my surprise. Jeremy looked nothing like the rest of the family. He was fair-skinned, blue-eyed, a little scruffy, and... different. On second thought, he resembled Jakob, or at least, the new version of Jakob.

  “Jeremy’s staying with us for a while.” Conspicuous hostility tainted Nathan’s voice.

  “Why the hell are you so edgy?” Jeremy asked, sounding more amused than annoyed.

  A wave of pink swam up Nathan’s neck and cheeks. “Byron warned me... to be careful, that you might get weird around Perdita because of the curse. But don’t get it twisted. She doesn’t belong to you.”

  My own cheeks flushed with heat, mortified heat, curl up in a ball and let the ground swallow me up kind of heat.

  Jeremy laughed as if Nathan’s warning was the funniest thing he had ever heard. “No offence, but I’m not into them that young.” He shook my limp hand, still laughing. “Maybe this needs a do-over. I’m Jeremy. I take it you’re the infamous soul mate. I apologise for looking at you without Nathan’s permission, but I didn’t expect the scary werewolf killer to look like a… well, a little girl.”

  Amelia giggled, smothering her laughter when I whipped my head in her direction.

  “Why are you back?” Nathan asked.

  “Grandpa Dearest pretty much demanded it. I came for the memorial, but he says I have to stay until we deal with business.” Jeremy shook his head. “Bossier than I remembered. He’s not doing so well; is he?”

  “Not really,” Nathan said. “What’s he been up to?”

  “Hunting them down,” Jeremy replied. “He’s hell-bent on finding the ones who came here, but even more determined to find the one who sent them. He reckons me and you need to hunt together. He thinks Dad isn’t up for the job.”

  “Byron’s up for it,” Nathan said. “He needs to think things through. That’s all.”