Clarity

  “Daddy, I don’t know how to take it back. He died at my hands. How am I supposed to carry on as normal? Nothing is normal. There are so many things… I can’t even begin to explain it all. And now they’ve let you get hurt, and I’m just me. I can’t even protect us. It isn’t fair, Dad. None of this is fair.”

  His eyelids fluttered.

  “Dad?”

  His gaze flicked toward the water on the bedside table. I pressed the red button to alert the nurse, then filled a paper cup and held it for him to take a sip.

  “Perdy,” he whispered, blinking rapidly.

  “Dad, are you okay?”

  “Perdy,” he said again. “What the hell has been going on with you?”

  I took a step back, opening and closing my mouth.

  “Stephen? You’re awake?”

  I looked at the door. The cup dropped out of my hands. Gran stood there, fidgeting anxiously. But I had my eyes on the woman next to her.

  My mother had come home.

  A nurse popped her head in and, seeing my dad awake, ushered us all out of the room.

  Gran held on to my mother’s arm, looking at me expectantly as I stood before them both in the hallway.

  “What’s going on?” I asked.

  My mother grabbed me, enveloped me in her floral perfume, kissed my cheeks, and muttered compliments in my ears. But I felt nothing. She was nothing to me anymore. I didn’t know her.

  I stiffened in her embrace, and perhaps sensing my distance, she let me go.

  “Gran? Think you can explain this?”

  “Well… well, with Stephen in the hospital… I mean, I thought his wife had a right to know. After all, you need to be taken care of, too.”

  “His wife?” I stared at both of them in disbelief. “She isn’t his wife! And she’s never taken care of me!”

  She pursed her lips. “At least I won’t be alone in the house now. That’s what you wanted. You told me so.”

  “I wanted you to stay somewhere else!” I turned to my mother. “What are you really doing here?”

  She shook her head haughtily. “It’s my place to be with my family when they need me.”

  “We don’t need you! At least not now!”

  Dad’s nurse popped her head around the door. “Perdy, settle down. Please remember the other patients.”

  I still couldn’t remember her name. “Is he okay?”

  “A little confused and feverish. I’ve paged the doctor on call to come down and take a look at him, so don’t worry. The biggest thing was him waking up.” She eyed my mother suspiciously. “I’m sure you can all leave for now.” Her eyes turned to the left, and I could have sworn I heard her mutter, “Oh, dear,” under her breath.

  I followed her gaze and saw Erin walking toward us. A shiver of anticipation ran down my spine. “Erin!” I called out. “He woke up! Go on in.” I pulled her past my mother and Gran as if they didn’t even exist. Erin glanced at my mother in confusion, but the nurse followed my lead and ushered Erin into Dad’s room.

  I stayed in the hall. I didn’t want to see him until I was sure he had forgotten everything I had babbled to him while he was unconscious. “Leave them alone,” I hissed at my mother. I turned to Gran. “And you should be ashamed of yourself.”

  “Perdy, listen,” my mother said. “I know the circumstances are unfortunate, but now that I’m here, I think we should take the chance to spend some time together, get to know each other again. We could go shopping together if you like.” She beamed a cheery smile at me.

  “Are you mad? My dad just woke up, and you want to go shopping?” I gave Gran a smug smile. “See? This… this is why we don’t need her here. She hasn’t a clue. She’s never lived in the real world.”

  “Perdy!” Gran sounded shocked, but I was exhausted. Dad had woken up, and I didn’t have the energy to deal with Gran and Meredith, the pretend parent.

  “Get her out of here before Erin comes back,” I demanded, feeling edgier than ever. The woman staring at me was a complete stranger. It didn’t matter what name she went by. I needed her gone because I couldn’t calm down in her presence.

  Chapter Eleven

  Nathan

  I got up earlier than usual, partly to avoid my grandfather. I had barely slept, and it was mostly because of being away from Perdita for so long. Being forbidden was unnatural, and my head pounded incessantly, probably from the curse, as punishment for not being with her. My insides felt as though they were being pulled apart, as both of the magical elements that dictated to me fought to gain ground. If the curse would only hurry up and win that battle, then I could go to Perdita. Then I could fix things.

  I had to wait for Amelia before going to school, but I had persuaded her to leave a little earlier than usual. I knew Perdita’s cousin would be in before everyone else. Joey was always wrapped up in some kind of homework. I didn’t get it, but to each their own.

  We took the bus to school, and Amelia seemed agitated again, but all I could think about was Perdita. I had to know what was going on with her and her dad.

  At school, Amelia found Joey for me in an empty classroom. His eyebrows rose when he saw us enter the room.

  “I don’t have time for this,” he said, standing.

  “It won’t take long. Tell me what’s happening. Please.”

  He glared at me. “If you cared, you’d already have gone over there to find out.”

  “Joey, please. It’s complicated. Trust me. I want nothing more than to go over there, but I can’t right now, all right? Just tell me he’s okay. That she’s okay.”

  He stared at me for a solid minute before relenting. “Whatever. You’ll hear about it from someone else anyway. He’s not okay. Not exactly. He woke up yesterday.”

  “Woke up?” Amelia said.

  “Yeah. He was in some kind of a coma. They had no clue what was happening. They gave him a blood transfusion, and they think his body reacted badly to it. He’s pretty sick, but nothing they give him is helping. They think maybe he was already sick, and the attack triggered it because no way would he be this sick over a dog bite. He has to stay in the hospital for a while.” He shrugged. “They don’t know what’s wrong. Not really.”

  “And Perdita?”

  Joey sat down and fidgeted with a book. “She hasn’t gone home yet.”

  “Is she at the hospital alone?” I asked.

  He narrowed his eyes. “Sometimes. But her mother turned up yesterday.”

  “Is that such a bad thing?” Amelia asked.

  With a look of disgust on his face, Joey went back to work. “Sounds as if you don’t know Perdy at all.”

  “Can you give her a message?” I asked.

  He shook his head. “Tell her yourself. Won’t matter if it comes from me.”

  “I don’t want to make things worse.”

  He hesitated before shrugging again. “I’ll tell her to call you. That’s all.”

  Amelia pulled me out of the classroom. “What’s wrong with her dad?”

  “I don’t know, but I need to see her.”

  “You can’t,” she said simply.

  I punched a locker, denting the metal, and left Amelia standing there, gaping. I sat in a classroom long before the bell rang. I was in a daze all morning until, during class, I heard Aaron say the magic word—wolf.

  “I swear, they aren’t dogs running around. This thing was a wolf. It went for me, chased me all the way home and everything.” Half of the class listened in awe to his exaggerations.

  “No, it didn’t,” I blurted, my anger making me stupid.

  “How would you know, Evans?”

  “Just shut up,” I said.

  “Get lost. You weren’t there… or were you? Was it your dog? Is that it?”

  “Don’t be so bloody stupid.”

  “Ignore him,” Abbi murmured next to me.

  “Bit hard when he’s talking crap in front of me.” But I turned away from Aaron and tried to keep my mouth shut.

  “
Forget it,” Abbi said. “You okay? You’ve barely said a word all day.”

  I rubbed my face, struggling to calm down. “Just thinking about Perdita.”

  She made a face. “I know. I heard her dad’s pretty bad. She doing okay?”

  “I’ve no idea. I’m kind of… grounded. And her phone is broken, and the hospital won’t let me speak to her.”

  She bit her lip. “I could drop in for you. But why hasn’t Amelia?”

  I pretended to study my book. “Doesn’t want to get in the way, you know? Perdy’s probably busy with her family anyway. Her Mum is back.”

  “Seriously?” She shook her head. “That must be awkward. I’m not surprised you two are keeping out of her way then.”

  I knew Perdita didn’t have a relationship with her mother, but the last time we spoke, it seemed as though she might be willing to give it a try. Although, it wasn’t exactly a good time for a reunion. I hated the idea of her going through the drama alone.

  I paid little attention to anything going on around me for most of the day. With everything running through my head, I couldn’t concentrate, and my wolf seethed at the idea of enemy werewolves invading our territory.

  At lunch, most of the people at our table quickly got the idea that I wasn’t in the mood for talking, but Aaron started on me again. “What’s with the moping? Did she ditch you then? Or did you dump her? Not getting any?”

  I dug my nails into my legs, trying to distract myself with the pain. “Shut up, Aaron. I’m not in the mood.”

  “Oh, come on. Can’t take a little banter?” He laughed.

  I jumped to my feet. “That isn’t banter. It’s you being a pure dickhead. Get out of my face. This is the last time I’m warning you.”

  He stood, squaring up to me. He was taller, but I stared into his eyes, letting him see the wolf. He backed off a little, looking confused, then glanced around and saw everyone was watching.

  He threw a punch, but I blocked it and hit him twice in the face without thinking. Seeing the fear in his eyes pushed all of my emotions to the surface. I grabbed him by the scruff of his neck before he fell, twisting his entire body sharply so I could speak into his ear. “If you ever open your mouth about her again, I’m going to end you. Understand me?” The wolf twisted and turned, trying to break free.

  “Nathan Evans. Office. Now.”

  The principal’s sharp voice ran through the black storm clouding my vision. It was only then I saw everyone’s horrified faces. I looked down at the blood pouring from Aaron’s nose to the tile an inch away from his face. He wasn’t cocky anymore, but it gave me no satisfaction at all. I let go of him, and he crumpled to the floor. Some of the lads helped him to his feet, and I knew that was it for me and the football team.

  I followed the principal into her office, ready for the worst.

  She sat down and eyed me calmly. “Do you think your family is ready to deal with you being expelled again?”

  I shook my head dumbly.

  “Listen to me. I’ve had my eye on you since you started here. You haven’t put one foot out of line, and today you lose it over someone like Aaron Hannigan. You need to deal with that temper of yours before you ruin your life, Nathan.”

  I nodded, but I didn’t know where she was going with the whole spiel.

  “I can cut you some slack this time. I know you’ve had a hard time recently. New home, new school, losing a family member, and I heard all about the incident at your home over the weekend. Combined with hormones and everything else, I can call it a one-off. So I’m going to do you a favour. I’m sending you home. Tell your family you aren’t well. I don’t care. But get out of here while you’re in this mood. This is your get-out-of-jail-free card. The only one you’re going to get. Use it wisely. I don’t expel kids if I can help it, but I can’t tolerate violence.”

  I stared at her in surprise for a few minutes. I had never had a teacher or principal who gave a crap about me. They judged first, thought later. She was bending the rules to help me.

  “Thanks,” I said. “I mean it. I’m sorry about Aaron. There’s just a lot going on right now.”

  “So deal with it,” she said. “Why make everything worse for yourself? Take the day to calm down. Come back tomorrow with a new outlook.”

  I nodded, getting it. I left the office and decided going back to get my books was asking for trouble. I walked out, leaving everything behind, and ran to clear my head. I had messed up yet again. I hadn’t lost control since I first starting turning wolf, so the only explanation for my temper was being away from Perdita.

  When I got home, I had some explaining to do. I thought Byron would explode, but he nodded with understanding. “It’s because you’re not with Perdita,” he said pointedly. Opa ignored him. “It was stupid to send you back to school like nothing had happened.”

  “It’s not only that,” I said. “It’s her dad. He’s sick. He only woke up yesterday.” I told them what Joey had said about the blood transfusion.

  Opa paid attention then. “His body reacted to the blood? Interesting.” The gleam in his eyes made my stomach turn.

  “What does that mean?” I asked.

  “It might mean nothing, but it makes me think the wolf’s bite infected him, and that’s why his body is rejecting the blood from the transfusion.”

  “Hold on,” Byron said. “Are you saying there’s a chance he could turn?”

  “No. But maybe there’s something in his genetic makeup that makes it more likely. Maybe that’s why the daughter turned out to be a mate.”

  “But he’s sick,” I reminded them.

  “I think the transfusion changed something.” Opa almost sounded disappointed. “The new blood ruined it.”

  “We have to do something,” I said. “Tell the hospital how to help him.”

  “We don’t know. What can we tell the hospital?” Byron said, looking worried.

  “Crap! This keeps getting worse and worse. What am I supposed to do?”

  “You keep doing what you’re told,” Opa said sternly. “Nobody makes a move until I say so. The man will be fine. As soon as his body replaces the blood naturally, he will be back to normal. Pretty much.”

  “What do you mean, pretty much?” Byron’s voice was edged with a gruff anger, and I realised we needed to ask my grandfather the right questions because he wasn’t volunteering anything important.

  “This isn’t our concern right now.” Opa waved his hand as if dismissing us.

  I couldn’t contain myself. “Then what is our concern?” I felt my back make a disjointed movement. Byron eyed me with concern, but I was too keyed up to pay attention. “Jeremy told me it sounds as though you already know this alpha who’s after us. Why don’t you tell us exactly what’s going on for a change?”

  Byron stood next to me, and the wolf calmed down a little, knowing we were on the same side for a change. We kept uniting in our discomfort at Opa’s actions. Strange way to connect, but whatever worked was fine by me.

  “Jeremy should keep his mouth shut,” Opa snarled. Literally. I thought he would change right then in front of us, but he closed his eyes and calmed himself.

  Byron took a half-step in front of me. “Nathan’s right. It’s time for you to set everything straight. What the hell is really going on?”

  Something in Byron’s voice sent shudders through my body, and I waited for Opa to argue, but he spoke in a meek voice instead. “I found a low-ranking member of the other pack. He doesn’t live amongst them, but he hosts them when they’re passing through. I’ve gathered a certain amount of information from him. I trust him because some of it has already transpired. From what he tells me, I may have come across this wolf before. He was no alpha then, and I don’t believe he’s a real threat now. If he faces me, I will win. That’s the story. Can you all start trusting me now? Listen to your elders even?” His voice turned cruel, his eyes darkening. “Enough of this. Leave me now. When all of this is over, if the girl’s father is still ill, we
might try to figure out a way to help him, but it will be at a high cost because helping him will reveal more of ourselves. Is that what you really want?” He stormed out of the room.

  I exchanged a worried glance with Byron. “What the hell, Byron?”

  “Give me time. If we push too hard, who knows what kind of orders he’ll force on us? He’s still unbalanced from losing her. You know, we all are, in one way or another. We have to tread carefully, for our own sakes. I think he’s right about Perdita’s father, though, that his body will naturally expel whatever was in the wolf bite. It would be highly unusual for him to turn into one of us. It would have already happened if it was going to, so don’t worry about that.”

  “How can I not worry? Perdita will kill me if her dad keeps getting dragged into our messes.”

  “No, she won’t. She’s your mate. Trust me when I say she will forgive you anything. You’re forgetting the power of the curse, Nathan.”

  He patted my shoulder and left me to mope about alone. They all put so much stock into Perdita having no choice but to forgive me. What if they were wrong?

  I felt trapped in my own home. I couldn’t go where I wanted. I couldn’t go to school without wanting to kill someone. I had almost revealed everything. And I had a horrible feeling that my grandfather was screwing me over. I couldn’t let him get away with it.

  I had to do something.

  Chapter Twelve

  Perdita

  Dad kept catching my eye and throwing me worried looks, but I managed to avoid being alone with him. When he first awoke, he had been delirious, talking in frightened whispers about monsters and death. He was a rational man, and once the fever left him, he calmed down and refused to speak about the nightmares, which had likely been prompted by my confession. If I didn’t mention anything again, he would probably assume my words had been part of his delusions. I had no choice but to manipulate him if it came to it.