Constant

  She had too much business for her meager staff as it was.

  Resisting the urge to smile, I nudged her latte toward her. “If it makes you feel any better, I really am sorry. I’ve been working on this excuse that involves a bear, an orphan and a basket of puppies. Do you want to hear it?”

  She reached for her coffee and tentatively took a sip. We were headed in the right direction. A full gulp meant total forgiveness. “Let me guess,” she drawled. “The orphan was selling the puppies on the side of the road when the bear came barreling out of the woods?”

  “Wrong. The orphan was selling the bear when the puppies came barreling out of the woods. Don’t worry, I saved the day. Crisis averted.”

  Her lips twitched but she restrained her smile. “You’re here now, so you might as well get to work.”

  I sighed. “Might as well.”

  She shoved the daily list at me. Maggie was all about lists. To do lists. To buy lists. To see lists. If it existed in the physical world, Maggie had a list for it.

  When I first started here, I’d been a kind of jack of all trades. Mostly I had worked in housekeeping. After I fixed a hot tub in one of the guest cottages, she added me to the maintenance staff. When I decided to go to college in Breckenridge and get my hospitality management degree, she moved me to the office. Now I was her second in command. She relied on me to run things during the week. In return for loyalty and good management, she let me have evenings and weekends off to spend with Juliet.

  “The Gillett’s decided to stay another week? I thought they hated it here.”

  Maggie took a long pull of her coffee. “It seems they’ve had a breakthrough. Their therapist suggested more time away from the city to fully explore the healing process.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Who goes on a romantic getaway with their therapist?”

  Maggie snorted. “Someone who just got caught cheating with his secretary. But if you ask me the only one getting anything out of this weekend is the shrink.”

  “Good for him for suggesting they stay another week. Might as well take advantage of the perks.”

  She lifted her gaze to meet mine. “You don’t think he’s a crook? Taking advantage of poor Mrs. Gillett and her scumbag husband?”

  “I think he agrees with us that her husband is a scumbag.” I examined Maggie’s question one more time. “But I don’t know that he’s a crook. He’s just… taking advantage of an opportunity.”

  “I guess that’s one way to put it,” Maggie mumbled, clearly not agreeing with me.

  The edges of the daily list crinkled in my hands as I held the paper too tightly. I wanted to backpedal. I wanted to change my opinion. Of course the therapist was robbing them. Of course that wasn’t okay.

  But I couldn’t. The words had been spoken. And I was too paranoid about suspicious behavior to explain my sometimes wish-washy moral compass.

  Instead, I stared hard at the list and tried to stop the words from blurring. Thankfully, Maggie changed the subject.

  “Oh, you got a package on Saturday,” she said. “It’s in the office.”

  “That’s strange. Do you know who it’s from?”

  She shook her head. “Didn’t pay attention. The FedEx guy dropped it off with the rest. Just happened to notice your name on the label right before I opened it.”

  “Okay, I’ll check it out. It’s probably address labels or socks or something.” She raised a curious eyebrow. “I can’t think of anything else I would have ordered and then forgotten about.”

  “Maybe you didn’t order anything. Maybe it’s from someone else.”

  I snorted, brushing her off. “Not likely.”

  “From your parents?” she pressed. “A long-lost uncle? Old boyfriend?”

  Plopping my chin into my hand, I leaned over the counter and grinned at her. “Fishing are we?” It wasn’t like Maggie to pry into my personal life. We had a very strict you stay out of my business, I’ll stay out of yours silent agreement. When it came to skeletons in the closet, I was an amateur compared to this woman.

  Okay, maybe she wasn’t wanted by one of the scariest Russian mob syndicates on the East Coast, but she had her fair share of secrets.

  She waved her hand through the air. “Just curious. You never take vacation. I’ve only ever seen you with that roommate of yours. I know you and still like you. Surely there are other people out there that also know you and still like you.”

  I swallowed down the truth until it hit stomach acid and burned up in the churning of my nerves. “There are plenty of people out there that know me and still like me, but to be honest I’ve always been a loner. I don’t have a lot of friends back home.”

  “Family?”

  I rolled my eyes, but gave her some truth. “Just my dad. He’s not really the package sending kind of guy.”

  “What happened to your mom?”

  “Your guess is as good as mine,” I told her, fully honest this time. “She took off after I was born. My dad met her at a strip club. She was his favorite dancer. Dad said she liked the idea of playing house, settling down. But after I was born, she realized real fast that the mom life was not for her.”

  Maggie’s jaw turned to steel. “I will never understand women like that. Being a mom isn’t a choice. You got a kid, you’re a mom. End of story.”

  I smiled and it was genuine and a little sad and filled with memories of my choices. “I feel the exact same way. As soon as I found out I was pregnant with Jules, life changed for me. Every decision I made after that was for her. I was done thinking about me.”

  Maggie winked at me. “That’s because you’re one of the good ones. Despite your mom being a piece of shit.”

  My hand fluttered to my heart, full of faux indignation. “Magdalen Marie! How dare you talk about my mother that way!”

  She grinned at me. “Oh, like you haven’t thought that.”

  Once or twice, but I couldn’t reward Maggie’s bad behavior. “All right, sassy pants, go away now so I can get some work done.”

  She pushed to standing and headed toward the office with the morning newspaper in one hand and the coffee I brought for her in the other. “Don’t forget about your package.”

  I had already forgotten about it. “Oh, right. I’ll investigate it during my lunch break.”

  “You’re not the least bit curious right now?”

  “Not when I’m forty-five minutes behind on this list and the McGregors are having issues with their sink!”

  “Atta girl.”

  We parted ways for the morning. I would see her around lunchtime when I took over her office to have a few minutes of peace and eat my ham sandwich. That’s when I would deal with the mystery package.

  I truly was curious. All morning as I hopped from job to job and checked in new guests and highlighted little maps of the property so they could find their cottage, I wracked my brain trying to remember what I ordered and forgot about.

  But I couldn’t come up with anything. I had decided halfway through my coffee that I would find time to sneak in the office and find out what it was, but then there wasn’t time. Too many people needed my help or advice or credit card swiping skills.

  By eleven, I was hungry and the insides of my fingers were stained yellow from the highlighter I had been using.

  The office door jingled and I pasted on my professional smile, expecting the Garcias. Instead one of the most gorgeous men I’d ever seen in real life walked through the door. My shoulders slumped and my throat dried out as I watched him. The morning light followed him inside, highlighting his tall frame, casting him in a soft gold halo. He tossed his head to the side in an effort to make his golden-brown waves stay out of his eyes. And his smile was bright—megawatt. He was all classic good looks and genuine smiles and no criminal record.

  And he was here for me.

  “Morning, Caroline,” he murmured as he approached the counter. “You’re looking lovely as ever.”

  Glancing down at my simple outfit of s
kinny jeans and a boho black tunic, I could only smile at the compliment. My long dark hair was braided over my shoulder and I was wearing minimal makeup today. I had been going for nondescript.

  Not lovely.

  “You’re sweet, Jesse,” I told him. His confident smile faltered. I bit my bottom lip to hide that I noticed. Jesse Hasting had been born and bred in the Colorado Rockies and had the body to prove it. His family owned a ranch not far from Frisco and he’d spent his formative years roping cows and riding horses and whatever else it was they did on ranches. Now as an adult, he owned his own property adjacent to his parent’s gigantic estate with the intention to someday take over the entire operation.

  Town gossip had it that his old man didn’t plan on handing over the reins until Jesse settled down. Jesse was in his late twenties, looked like he’d been carved from the mountain itself and had a small fortune of his own. It didn’t take a genius to see that he wasn’t planning on getting married anytime soon. But the man did love to date. And recently he’d decided that he should date me. “How are you this morning?”

  “I’m good.” He leaned on the counter, bringing us closer together than I was ready for. “How are you this morning?”

  My lips twitched with a reluctant smile. “I’m good too.”

  “Busy morning on the mountain?”

  This man was trouble. Not just because he looked like sin and a good time, but because he was genuinely nice. His big brown eyes were nothing but sincere and open, and right next to that fun-loving smile was a deep, adorable dimple.

  Thankful for something neutral to talk about, I latched on to a conversation of facts. “We are busy this morning. The holiday rush started early this year.”

  “I’ve noticed. I think it has something to do with all the Halloween activities in Summit County. We’re losing our off season.”

  I wrinkled my nose. I had felt the same thing. “It’s good for the economy, right?”

  He made a sound in the back of his throat. “Sure. Let’s go with that.”

  We shared a conspiratorial look. His family made money by means of their own, but most of the natives in this part of Colorado relied on out-of-towners. November through March was considered the busy season, but summer wasn’t much different anymore. We used to get a small break in April and May and September and October, but lately we seemed to be packed year-round.

  I traced a trail on the map in front of me with the closed highlighter. “What’s up? Do you need to speak to Maggie?”

  He leaned in closer. “I actually came to see you.”

  “Oh, really?”

  His smile turned irresistibly bashful. “Really.”

  “Are you wanting to rent a cottage for the weekend? Or the clubhouse? Perhaps an afternoon in a hot tub?”

  I felt his low rumble of a laugh in my belly, sending unfamiliar tingles buzzing through me. “You rent out your hot tubs for just the afternoon? I’m not sure how I feel about that.”

  Keeping a straight face, I said, “I mean, we don’t give everyone the afternoon special. Just, you know, those unique guests that are willing to pay by the hour.”

  His laughter died and the way his eyes widened was maybe one of my favorite things ever. “No way.”

  I loosed a smile and finally shook my head. “I’m totally kidding. Although let’s put a pin in that. It’s not a terrible idea.”

  He laughed again and flicked the highlighter in my hand. “It’s most certainly a terrible idea. But please let me be there when you run it by Maggie.”

  “I’ll see what I can do.”

  We shared another smile and the light in his eyes turned serious. Jesse Hasting was a catch. Every single girl that lived in Summit County and most of the tourists that passed through took one look at this guy and started ovulating. I wasn’t any different.

  Okay, I was a lot different.

  And my ovaries didn’t really ovulate on command anyway.

  But I was still crazy for dreading the question I could see formulating in the depths of his rich, chocolate eyes.

  Jesse cleared his throat and started rubbing the back of his neck that had very suddenly turned bright red. “There’s this band that’s going to be in town tomorrow night. I went to college with the lead singer and they’re pretty good. They’re playing down on Main Street at Foote’s Rest. The weather is supposed to be really nice and it should be a fun time. And I’m wondering if you’d like to go with me?”

  “Jesse Hasting are you nervous?” I tried to repress my smile, but I wasn’t totally successful.

  “You’re making me nervous, Caroline Baker.”

  I flinched, barely, at the sound of my fake last name. “I’ve watched you walk up to complete strangers and ask them out,” I accused. “One time I saw you pull a girl off her seat and start dancing with her at Foote’s without even asking her. You just assumed she’d want to dance with you—it didn’t help much that you were right!”

  The high planes of his cheeks darkened with embarrassment. “Well, those women aren’t you, Caroline. You’re a hell of a lot more intimidating than random women at a bar halfway through a bottle of Grey Goose.”

  His comment made me laugh. “And why is that?”

  Jesse cleared his throat. “Because you’re going to say no.”

  “Well, if you knew I was going to say no, why did you ask me?”

  Some of his confidence returned, kicking his lips up into a cocky smile. “Because I figure it’s worth the shot. And maybe you said no the first couple times because of Juliet. But maybe if you keep getting to know me, eventually you won’t say no. And if you keep getting to know me, and I keep asking you, then eventually you’ll say yes.”

  I tried really hard not to be flattered. I mean, I really gave it my all. But it was impossible not to feel special after a man like Jesse Hasting put so much effort in trying to date me.

  Over the years, Jesse had asked me out a couple times very nonchalantly, and when I’d turned him down he hadn’t acted like he cared all that much. But last summer something changed in him. Instead of the casual, offhand invitations to dinner, he had started to actually pursue me. He stopped by my work, he bought me little things like coffee or an ice cream cone if he saw me in town, he went to events that he knew I was going to be at. And he knew Juliet.

  Maybe he didn’t know everything about her. But he knew I had a daughter. And he knew I was raising her on my own. And that didn’t seem to deter him.

  Also, the two of them were thick as thieves. Which I found particularly troubling. Because I didn’t mind their friendship. Or the way he could make her laugh. Or the way he seemed to genuinely care about her.

  It was hard to say no to him. He didn’t realize how hard.

  And not just because he was this standup guy that was also super-hot and responsible and nice. I mean, they just didn’t make guys like Jesse anymore.

  But to be honest, the hardest reason to say no to all his attention was basically because I was in desperate need of a good lay. Let’s be real, the last time I had a night worth bragging about was the night Juliet was conceived. And while I was in no hurry to repeat that particular ordeal, it had been a long, very long, super long dry spell.

  It was on the tip of my tongue to say yes to this man. A night out of the house surrounded by other grown-ups, good beer and decent music sounded awesome. A night hanging out with this particular grown-up sounded even better.

  But I couldn’t do it.

  I had Juliet to think about.

  And my fragile existence in this town was built like a house of cards.

  I didn’t have time to date. Especially not men like Jesse Hasting.

  “Maybe someday, far down the road, in the very, very distant future, every one of my answers might not be no,” I told him with a gentle expression. “But today it still has to be. I’m so sorry.”

  Undeterred by my negative answer, he tilted so that all his body rested on one forearm. “You’re not into good music?”


  “No, I am.”

  “Then it must be the venue?

  “I love Foote’s.”

  “Then it’s the company.”

  “It’s not!” My hand landed on his closed fist and I squeezed. I hated the disappointment in his voice. I hated even more that I was the one that put it there. “Jesse, I know this sounds cliché, but I’m just not in a position to date anyone. I wish that I was, because I would be so into it. Into you. But seriously, my life is all about Juliet right now. I just… not that this would necessarily happen with you or whatever… but I just don’t want men going in and out of her life depending on who her mom’s dating. I don’t want to give her a crazy childhood. Or at least I don’t want her to know how bad things are. And she likes you. I want her to keep liking you. Does that make sense?”

  Instead of agreeing with me or fleeing in the opposite direction like he should have, he opened his fist and turned it so that we could press our hands together. “Are things bad, Caroline?”

  My blurted confession hovered heavily in the air over our heads, like a thundercloud pregnant with rain, ready to burst. “Things are fine. I didn’t mean it like that.”

  His gaze held mine captive. “Do you need help?”

  I cleared my throat and simultaneously pushed away the pride that screamed no, and the girl inside me that wanted to crumble on the floor and start weeping while saying YES. YES, PLEASE. YES. It was hard being a single mother. I mean, whatever happened in my past was a whole different struggle.

  Taking care of one tiny human was a lot of work. And even with Francesca’s help, there was still so much to do for Juliet. “I just meant, like, in the sense that I’m a single mom and I can’t seem to get to anything on time. In the sense that Juliet is growing up so fast in some ways and not fast enough in others, and I’m trying to balance her and work and health insurance and dentist appointments and trying not to drown. You’re a good guy, Jesse. You deserve a girl that can give you her full attention. With me, you’d always be third.”

  His head tilted to the side. “Third?”

  “Behind Francesca,” I explained. “We’re basically a Spice Girls song.”