Make It a Double
Page 30
“You’re mad,” I take a wild guess, although it’s pretty obvious.
“But let me tell you why,” Brody says in a harsh whisper. “I told you to leave this alone, that I don’t want to fight this and I don’t want to rehash it. It’s done and I’m moving on. But not only do you dig this shit up, which claws at my wounds that I just started to heal, you’re talking about committing a very serious federal crime by blackmailing a senator. ”
Shame overwhelms me like a tidal wave, almost driving me to my knees. In my zeal to get justice for Brody, I had completely overlooked the fact that he does not want it. He had been clear about it, and thus, I have to wonder if was I doing this for him or me. The mere fact I was contemplating committing a crime with these photos only shames me further.
I push away from the desk, backing toward the door, my hands clutched to my chest. Tears prick at my eyes and then pool as I take in Brody’s utter disappointment in me.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
I need to get out of here, far away from Brody, because I’m sure I’ve just created a chasm between us that won’t be repaired. I see the doorknob through my haze of tears and make a grasp for it, wrenching the door open.
I get it only halfway when Brody’s hand hits it and slams it back shut on me. Then he’s pulling me into his arms, turning my face into his chest and wrapping me up in a hug. I start sobbing against him. “I am so sorry, Brody. I was so selfish. ”
“Shh,” he says with his lips against my hair. “I know you were trying to help me, and while I’m mad, I understand why. ”
“I’m just so angry this happened,” I practically wail as fresh tears pour down.
Brody pulls back and takes my face in his hands. He uses his thumbs to wipe away the wetness and then peers at me hard. “You need to let it go, baby. I have. ”
I nod at him in agreement, thankful that he’s not dumping me flat on my ass for the stupid mistake I just made. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I press into him tight.
I will try to let it go because that’s what Brody wants, and there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for this man.
Chapter 23
Brody
“I need to have a serious talk with you before Jimbo gets here,” Alyssa says as she chops up lettuce for a salad.
I raise an eyebrow at her as I sit on the other side of her kitchen island, watching her work. I’m manning the grill, entrusted with cooking the steaks, so there’s nothing for me to do until then.
I’m due for a visit from Jimbo and, on a spur of the moment whim, I invited him to dinner to meet Alyssa on Sunday night. Alyssa insisted we do it at her house, since I had sort of unofficially moved in. I now had several items of clothing here that she washed this weekend and then put into an empty drawer she cleaned out. My toothbrush, toothpaste, and shaving gear have been sitting on her bathroom counter for over a week. While I’m not vain enough to think this is permanent, I sure as hell have no intention of leaving unless she asks me to. Jimbo has been preaching at me to reach for things I want, things I think I deserve, and Alyssa is one such thing.
“Okay… what’s the serious talk?” I ask, not having one moment of unease over her proclamation. Things have been good… I mean, really, really good since our little blow up over those pictures of Senator Hutchens a few days ago.
I was angry… yes. But I was also warmed by her effort. She was just not thinking rationally. Once she stopped crying and I was able to kiss her properly, we moved on and were as strong as ever.
“So… you know that I want to expand The Haven. I’d love to add another kennel, take on more horses, and add an aviary so we can help nurse some of the wild birds. ”
“Yup,” I tell her, reaching across to steal a piece of carrot she had chopped earlier and popping it in my mouth. “It’s a great plan, and you should do it. ”
“I’ll need to actually hire help, if I do. I’ll probably need a full-time manager, maybe even another full-time employee to help with the manual labor. I’ll be doing more work soliciting donations and arranging intake and adoption of animals. ”
“Yeah, you’re definitely going to need to break down and do that,” I tell her as I reach for another carrot.
“I’m glad you think so,” she says with a soft smile, never taking her eyes off the lettuce. “Because I’d like to officially offer you the job as operations manager for The Haven. ”
My eyes snap to hers, carrot poised halfway to my mouth. “What?”
She shrugs her shoulders as if it’s not a big deal what she’s offering. “It’s a no brainer, really. You’re great with the animals, you know pretty much how to run it in my absence, and I trust you… I know you would care for it the way I do. ”
I swallow hard past the lump that’s forming in my throat. Her last words… she trusts me to care for it the way she does, almost knocks me over. It makes my chest squeeze and release, squeeze and release. It’s the first measure of true validation I’ve had since coming out of prison. It’s the first time someone has given me a bit of self-worth.
“I figure,” she continues, still chopping the lettuce, “that I should make this offer to you before Jimbo walks through that door. I mean… he’s constantly pushing you forward. I figured… if you accept this, you’d really bowl him over with your progress. You’d really show him that you’re as amazing as I know you to be. ”
I put the carrot down and stand up. As I walk to her, she holds my gaze and sets the knife down. When I round the kitchen counter and come to stand before her, her eyes flicker with a warmth that sears straight to my soul.
Putting my hands on her cheeks, I ask, because I still have some self-doubt, “You’re not offering this because—”
“Because you f**k me real good?” she supplies with a grin.
“I wasn’t going to say it that way, but it’s the same thing. Because we’re in a relationship. ”
“Yes,” she tells me, which utterly surprises me. “Yes, I’m offering this to you because we’re in a relationship. But it’s because we’re in a relationship that I know you’d care for The Haven. It’s also because of our relationship and the secret I hold for you, that I trust you to do right by it. There isn’t anyone more qualified in my opinion. ”
I lean in and run my lips over hers. The doorbell rings, and I know it’s Jimbo. Pulling back, I give her a quick kiss on her nose. “Then I accept. ”
Releasing my hold on Alyssa, I head to the door to let Jimbo in.
“Really?” she asks with surprise.
“Yeah, why?” I ask just as I put my hand on the front doorknob.
“I just thought you’d need more convincing,” she laughs.
“I know a good thing when I see it,” I tell her, pinning her with a direct stare that has a wealth of meaning. She knows I’m not just talking about the job she just offered me, because her smile she gives me is tender and her eyes caress over me softly.
I’m so going to get lucky tonight, I chuckle to myself.
Opening the door, I give Jimbo a smile and stick my hand out. He shakes it with a bone-crushing grip and says, “Holy hell. Check out that new hairdo. And your cheeks! Smooth as a baby’s butt. ”
Rolling my eyes, I step back from the door. “Come on in. ”
Jimbo casually looks around as he enters the living room, and I’m sure he was thinking the same thing I was when I first saw Alyssa’s house. Lots and lots of money. But I’ve told Jimbo about Alyssa… about the real Alyssa I’ve come to know, so I know he’s looking around in nothing more than a passing interest.
Coming out from behind the kitchen island, Alyssa walks up to Jimbo to shake his hand. His glowing eyes appraise her quickly, and I wonder what he thinks of her just from first appearances. I certainly know what I thought at first is nothing what I think now. I’m just glad I was smart enough to get my head out of my ass, because the thought that I could have missed this opportunity
to know Alyssa makes my stomach twist.
The thought of me not knowing her is excruciatingly painful.
“So glad you could join us for dinner,” Alyssa says with a welcoming handshake. “What can I get you to drink?”
“I’ll take a beer if you got one,” Jimbo says.
“A beer?” I say with mock astonishment.
“I’m technically off duty,” he clarifies.
We walk into the kitchen, and Alyssa hands Jimbo a beer and me the platter of steaks. “Get going, grill master. I’ll just finish up in here while you two talk. ”
“Sure thing,” I say, leaning over to kiss her neck. It’s a brief kiss, nothing more than a message that I’ll miss her, but she shivers in response.
I f**king dig that so much.
Jimbo follows me out to the back deck and I fire the grill up, setting the platter of steaks on the table beside it.
Looking out over the ocean, Jimbo takes a sip of his beer. I follow his gaze, doing nothing more than being comforted by the crash of waves and smell of salt in the air.
“How are things going?” he asks me after a few moments.
“Let me warn you… if you really want that answer, you won’t be getting my little two-second response. ”
Jimbo laughs. “That good, huh?”
“It’s the best,” I tell him, meaning that from the depths of my soul.
“I’m assuming that girl in there has everything to do with the smile on your face?”
“Pretty much. ”
“Have you told her that?” he muses, taking another long pull on his beer and pinning me with those freaky orbs.
“Not the way she deserves to hear it,” I admit, but it’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot.
“Don’t wait, dude. Our moments are fleeting, and we never know just how long we’ll have them. ”
“Agreed. ”
“So what else is new?”
“Alyssa offered me a full-time job at The Haven as its Operations Manager. She’s wanted to expand the facility, and she can’t do it herself. ”
“And you said?”
“I said yes. I’d be a fool not to. You and I both know that bartending is not a job I really aspired to do. ”
Jimbo points his finger at me while holding his beer bottle. “You’re a strange man, you know that right?”
“How so?” I ask, neither offended nor surprised by his comment.
“It’s just… if you were someone I knew outside of these circumstances, I just can’t peg you as someone that did time in prison. In my experience, most people that go to jail for a crime are destined to be there. ”
I don’t know why I do the things I do sometimes, probably more curiosity than anything, but I ask, “What would you say if I told you I didn’t do it?”
Jimbo smirks at me. “Then I’d say you were just like every other parolee on my schedule. ”
I give him a knowing smile and check the temperature on the grill. It’s hot enough, so I open the top and run the grill brush over the grates to makes sure they’re clean.
“So, did you?” Jimbo asks. “Did you do it?”
I don’t turn around to look at him but say quietly, “No, I didn’t. ”
He’s silent, digesting what I said. He’s heard it a million times before, but I bet he’s never heard it quite like this.
I feel Jimbo’s hand on my arm, and I turn to look at him. His eyes are filled with fear, because I think… for the first time… Jimbo knows he may have met the one guy that could truly be innocent, and that might be too much for him to handle.
“Seriously, Brody. Did you?”