With Everything I Am

  Therefore, she never considered living with another person and deciding who would do the cooking and who would take out the trash. She never thought about how she and her partner would argue and how they would make up. Where they’d go on vacation. If she’d get impatient with him watching too many sports on TV and if he’d get impatient because it took her too long to get ready. She never pictured a time when, together, they brought out the boxes of Christmas decorations and littered the house with them. Year by year adding precious memories, purchasing new ornaments to put on their tree and sharing moments that would be cherished.

  She’d bought her white-picket fence farmhouse knowing she’d be the only one living in it and shrouding her disappointment that she was fated to live her life alone.

  But now, she thought sleepily, having dreamed of Callum so long (an indication of her destiny before she even knew it was her destiny), she realized she did have fantasies of what her life would be like. They were as unobtainable as her dream Callum was (she thought then and she still did). But the feelings she had with Callum in those dreams, that was what she would have wanted to nurture in her real life, if it had been possible.

  Not this.

  Never this.

  She took in a breath and let it out in one long, sad sigh, closed her eyes, clutched her wolf close and fell asleep.

  * * * * *

  She awoke with Callum’s mouth between her legs over her panties, the urge already upon her, overwhelming her, wresting away her control.

  She fought it with her mind but, even as she did, her hips pressed up to meet his mouth as she emitted a low whimper and the throb between her legs started to devour her.

  Callum’s mouth lifted away but his finger replaced it, drifting light as a feather against the fabric of her panties, causing a sensual torment.

  “I thought I told you to go to bed naked,” Callum’s deep voice vibrated between her legs and she whimpered again. Her hands going to his hair to press him back. Her hips pushing against the light touch of his finger. Her nipples, already hard, straining against the fabric of her nightgown causing such pleasure, it was torture.

  “You defy me?” he asked, still denying her his mouth.

  “Callum,” she whispered.

  “Answer me,” he commanded and she pressed up again, seeking his mouth, keeping her silence, the Sonia she knew trying to beat back the Sonia that he created.

  And failing.

  He shifted her underwear aside and two fingers penetrated her, not gently, brutally, and she moaned at the beauty of it, needing it, wanting it, having throbbed for it all day.

  “Answer me, Sonia,” he demanded.

  “I…” she whimpered and for a brief moment the Sonia she’d been her whole life surfaced, breaking through the urge. “You can’t tell me what to wear.”

  His fingers slid out then they thrust back in and she moaned, the urge rushed back, stronger than before and she lifted her hips to meet them.

  “My queen likes to play rough,” he growled, sounding pleased.

  “No, I –” she began but his fingers pulled out and hooked at the gusset of her panties. With a vicious wrench, the fabric tore in several places and the panties were gone.

  She gasped but his big hands slid along her inner thighs, gripping her behind her knees, lifting them to fully bent and spreading her legs wide, boldly exposing her.

  Sonia felt vulnerable for a moment before his mouth came down on her and all feelings evaporated except the exquisite pulse accelerating between her legs.

  He wasn’t gentle with his mouth either. He was hungry, insatiable, feeding on her with his lips, his tongue, even his teeth, causing Sonia to lose any hold she had left on her true self as her body forced her to give into the urge.

  She was panting, rocking her hips against his mouth, spreading her legs ever wider to give him access. Greedy for him, for what he could make her feel, reaching out and embracing the creature he could make her be. The creature, something buried inside her told her, she was meant to be.

  She slid close to the edge, no longer scared of the enormity of it, ready to let it take her, needing for it to consume her so she could exist in her skin the way she was intended to. The way she only did in these times with Callum. She cried out and, the instant she did, his mouth disappeared and she was yanked from the edge.

  “Callum!” she exclaimed her protest but he wasn’t leaving her.

  He was over her, his weight settling into her and she gloried in it. Feeling the promise of him a scant second before he reared his hips back and impaled her, fucking her like she loved it, slamming into her violently, filling her full, again and again and again.

  His mouth captured hers and he gave her a devouring kiss, his tongue invading as his shaft drove mercilessly into her.

  She wrapped her limbs around him and lifted her hips to meet his. Welcoming him. Taking him all the way in and loving the feel of him filling her full so much, she moaned recklessly against his tongue.

  He pulled out and flipped her to her belly, yanking her up to her knees.

  “Yes,” she gasped.

  This was it. This was right. This was who she was. This was who they were, Sonia and Callum.

  Perfect.

  Positioning himself between her legs, Callum leaned forward and gripped her hair, using it to yank her up to her hands.

  She felt it then, the sensation that this was exactly Sonia. The Sonia she was supposed to be, in front of Callum on her hands and knees.

  She held her breath and felt her thighs quiver in sweet anticipation, arching her back, tilting her behind, offering her sex to him brazenly.

  He accepted her invitation and seated himself to the root as he yanked her hair back, arching her neck. But he needn’t have done it for she threw her head back at the splendor of him.

  Then he did it again.

  And again.

  And again.

  She reared into his hips, greeting every plunge, feeling finally whole, finally right when she took him all.

  The tension built and built until her blood was boiling. Until she felt she was going to come out of her skin. Until she cried out to her wolf and exploded in sheer bliss. Through her climax she felt him impale her one last time and heard, as if from far away, the depth of his answering groan.

  Just as last night, after, he rocked inside her, his shaft stroking her sex gently as his fingers drifted over the skin of her bottom, the small of her back, hooking her chain and tugging until it caught on her hips. This action of Callum’s, last night and just then, she felt was profound. The reminder of the chain that signified she was finally his, just as she was always destined to be.

  He twisted it so the links slid around her waist, the lightest of sensations making her shiver against him.

  Then, his strokes coming slower and slower, finally he started to pull away.

  “No,” she whispered, pressing her hips back.

  He stilled, thankfully still hard and staying inside. She’d never known a man to stay rock-hard that long afterwards.

  “Baby doll?” he called.

  She answered his call, using her mouth and her hips, still pressing into him, explaining her need. “I don’t want to lose you.”

  He glided out and then back in one last time while murmuring, “My little one.”

  Then his hips forced her off her knees and her legs, of their own accord, opened wide so he could settle between them, his body both surrounding her and filling her deep.

  His fingers moved the hair away from her face before he rested some his weight into his forearms in the bed at her sides, the rest of it settled into her.

  She loved how big he was, his body, his shaft, how it surrounded her, filled her, became her whole world. It melted away her ever-present loneliness, making her feel, with Callum encasing her in his frame, filling her so deep, she’d never be lonesome again.

  She tipped her bottom up into his groin, non-verbal indication of the intensity of her thoughts.
br />   He pressed in deeper, giving her more of what she was seeking, filling her even fuller.

  “You like this,” he said softly in her ear.

  It wasn’t a question, it was a statement. There was an element of surprise but the low rumble of his voice revealed the depth of his approval.

  Sonia didn’t answer.

  He pushed in further and she sighed contentedly.

  She felt his smile against her ear.

  “I like it too,” he whispered. “It’s everything we are.” He slid out a bare inch then settled back in. “The connection, our connection, so fucking strong.” There was a depth in his voice that slithered lazily through her system and then settled there in a way that felt like forever. He went on, “And it’s everything I am to you.” His arms moved in tighter at her sides. “Your protector,” he ran his lips around the curve of her ear and she trembled underneath him before he murmured, “lift your ass for me, little one, I want to go deep,” without hesitation, Sonia did as she was told and Callum did what he wanted, muttering, “and I’m also your possessor.”

  She shivered in delight at this last and his arms tightened all the more.

  Her arms were cocked and under her body, pinned to the bed, but she reached out a hand, laced her fingers in his and tilted her head until her nose was resting against their hands.

  She tipped her hips up again and mumbled, “For me, wolf, I just like to be full of you. It makes me feel whole. It, finally, makes me feel right.”

  She missed his answering growl because it was then Queen Sonia slid into an abandoned sleep. Surrounded, connected, protected, possessed, contented and beautifully full of her king.

  * * * * *

  Sonia’s sleeping body was shifted, the nightgown pulled up. Her arms, unresisting, rising to make this task easy and the nightgown was swept away.

  Then she was curled, pulled close, a strong arm circling her waist, molding her body down the side of Callum’s hard one.

  She rested her cheek against his pectoral and snaked an arm around his flat stomach.

  She started to shift into sleep as he murmured, “The days, I can forget, baby doll. But the nights…” his voice dropped to a hoarse growl, filled with intense feeling, “the nights will be torture knowing I won’t have this for eternity.”

  Even if she was conscious enough to process his words, she wouldn’t have understood them.

  However, she wasn’t conscious enough for he’d barely uttered his last word before she was asleep.

  * * * * *

  Soft and fleeting, the touch of fingers trailing the pinpricks on her upper buttocks drifted. The same when the fingers became lips, something about them Sonia couldn’t hold onto but it felt as if the touch yearned to be healing.

  Then Sonia was being lifted.

  Then she was cradled in the warm cocoon of Callum sitting, back to the headboard, fully-clothed, in her bed.

  Still half asleep in his arms, she nuzzled closer, burying her face in his neck.

  His fingers invaded between her legs, toying, playing.

  “The men are here.”

  “Mm,” she replied, pressing into his hand, seeking even in her sleep.

  “Sonia?” he called.

  “Play with me before you go,” she urged.

  His arm about her tightened, his neck twisted and she felt his lips at her temple and then Callum did as she asked.

  When she was finished, he lifted her again, settled her in bed and tucked her stuffed wolf in her arms.

  Mostly asleep, she drifted further into sated oblivion.

  Her eyes fluttered but remained closed when his lips glided along the curve of her ear, at the same time his hand went between her legs from behind and his fingers entered her again.

  She lifted her bottom in reflexive invitation.

  His fingers slid out, gliding lazily through the folds of her wetness, his mouth still at her ear, his voice husky when he stated admiringly, “Always in heat, my greedy, little queen.”

  Then his hand disappeared, her hips settled and Sonia clutched her wolf closer as Callum tucked her tight in the bedclothes and she drifted off to sleep.

  * * * * *

  And this was to be the rhythm of Sonia’s life for a while.

  Nights (and often during the days besides) being forced by the irresistible urge to “play” as she learned Callum called it. Sometimes rough, sometimes sweet but always ending up devoured by it. And, often in the nights, desperate to keep him close, to feel whole, sliding off her knees, Callum still inside, and falling asleep with his weight surrounding her, him filling her.

  Mornings were spent cocooned in his arms as Callum gave her more of what her body craved and left her tucked safe in her bed in a way her mind wished it could truly be.

  All of this leaving her feeling pampered, desired, protected and adored.

  * * * * *

  But Sonia spent her days steadfastly guarding her heart against a king who apparently wanted his queen to believe she was much desired, much adored, definitely pampered and even cherished.

  Which meant that Sonia had to guard her heart with a growing ferocity that, the longer she did it, the more the bitterness built.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Party

  “Callum, this is Jay and Jo, my neighbors from down the street, and their boys Jed and Jake,” Sonia introduced Callum to the family who’d just arrived at her Christmas Party. “Guys, I’d like you to meet my new husband, Callum.”

  Callum heard Jo gasp and saw Jay’s eyes grow wide in shock and this was about the same reaction as everyone had when they met him.

  His fingers, resting at Sonia’s hip, tensed reflexively.

  Even though it was a human word that meant little to him as it meant little to many humans, he fucking loved it when Sonia called him “husband”.

  And tonight she’d been doing that a great deal.

  The family recovered from their surprise and the man thrust his hand out to shake Callum’s.

  “We’re the ‘J’ family,” he announced. Then, strangely, to Callum’s way of thinking (but many things humans did Callum thought were strange), removed himself from the family legacy his wife clearly created by declaring with practiced embarrassment. “It was Jo’s idea.”

  Callum’s eyes went to Jo. “It’s a good idea. My mother had the same. My brothers’ names are Calder, Caleb and Calvin.”

  Sonia’s body stiffened beside him which he completely ignored. She did this often for reasons sometimes unknown, sometimes she’d tell him. He had decided in the three weeks he’d known her that if it was important, she’d tell him which she didn’t have the least problem doing. The other times weren’t worth concerning himself with.

  “You’re the ‘Cal’ family,” Jo declared brightly, giving her husband an annoyed nudge with her elbow.

  “We are,” Callum stated proudly.

  “Jed, Jake, your presents are under the tree,” Sonia said, her eyes fond on the two young lads. “Go and –”

  She didn’t finish. The boys raced to the tree, both of them ending their dash dropping to their knees on a skid.

  “They love your presents best every year,” Jo confided and Callum turned back to see she’d leaned toward Sonia. “It’s giving me a complex,” she added jokingly.

  That night Callum learned many people loved Sonia’s presents best every year. Indeed that night Callum learned Sonia gave everyone presents they loved best every year. He’d never seen anything like her casual generosity.

  Another in a myriad of ways he’d found in the three weeks he’d had his queen that she was absolutely, fucking perfect.

  “Um, it wasn’t my skateboards I saw them racing each other on, fruitlessly I might add, through the snow on the sidewalks on Christmas day last year,” Sonia replied on a smile.

  “So!” Jay boomed, butting into the women’s conversation and glancing between the two of them. “This is unexpected, though we’ve seen a lot of activity at your house lately,”
Jay informed them, eyes speculative, declaring openly his neighborly prying, something else humans did that mystified Callum. Wolves let other wolves be. If they wanted to share, which they usually did, they’d share. Uninvited inquisitiveness might get your throat torn out by another wolf’s teeth, a strong deterrent. “Married!” Jay continued. “That’s a big surprise. How did you two meet?”

  Sonia tensed and opened her mouth to reply but, as usual that night, Callum got there before her.

  “We didn’t meet. I saw her and thought she was the prettiest woman I’d ever laid eyes on. I grabbed her, carried her up to my cabin in the mountains and spent three days talking her into marrying me. She agreed, we did the deed and came back down the mountain.”

  Callum liked this story.

  He liked it because of the hilarious reactions of the humans.

  “You… what?” Jay asked while Jo blinked at him, repeatedly and rapidly.

  “He’s joking!” Sonia exclaimed, going directly into damage control, as usual that night after he told this tale, leaning into him and patting his stomach. Now her pats were much harder than they were at the beginning of the evening but they were still puny, as female human pats tended to be. Or likely male ones, for that matter, though Callum had never been patted by a male, nor would he ever be. “We’ve known each other forever,” she went on. “It almost feels like we knew each other since before we were born. I met him when I was seventeen. It’s been an off and on, long-distance relationship. I never knew it would come to this but when he surprisingly asked me, I said yes right away. We decided not to waste any more time so we eloped.”

  Callum liked Sonia’s story better.

  What he liked best of all was that they were both, mostly, true.

  Suddenly, Jo’s eyes bugged out, she leaned forward and grasped Sonia’s hand.

  Callum stiffened.

  This party was not in the least like a party a wolf would throw. For one thing, no one had shown up smashed. For another thing, even though it started an hour ago, still no one was smashed. That said, he was enjoying himself immensely, mainly due to being with Sonia who was taking great pleasure in entertaining her friends and being with the people who clearly cared about her.