With Everything I Am

  Of course he did, Sonia thought but didn’t speak aloud as she took the nightgown Maraleena dropped on the bed beside her so the other woman could start pulling covers off food on the tray.

  “You’re human, I forgot,” she said apropos of what Sonia thought was nothing but going back to her earlier subject. “Steward of the Estates means Drogan takes cares of all things castle. You know, the plumbing and heating and the cars and the gardens and the forest and stuff like that. He also helps Callum with other stuff too, official stuff. Ho hum. Bo… ring!” she decreed, lifted the tray and Sonia had just pulled the nightgown down over her hips when Maraleena planted the tray on Sonia’s lap then she looked at Sonia and said, “I’m housekeeper, or I was. That means I take care of all things castle that are, you know, housekeeping things. Keeping it clean, doing the laundry, ironing, getting the food in. Though, I’m a terrible cook. Poor Drogan, he loves his food. His life is a misery with me.” She grinned a grin that belied her words and then carried on, “We’ve a she-wolf who sees to that, or saw to it, her name is Callista.”

  Sonia’s astonished eyes went from her tray to Maraleena. And her tray, incidentally, consisted of two eggs over easy on what looked like two fried pieces of bread and sat next to a pile of baked beans, a pile of sautéed mushrooms, two rashers of bacon, two huge sausages and two patties of some kind of meat that was black. This was accompanied by a toast caddy of four half-diamonds of perfectly toasted toast and three small bowls, one of butter, one of strawberry jam and one of orange marmalade. This was finished off with a cafetière of coffee, a mug, a small jug filled with milk, a sugar bowl and a tiny salt and pepper shaker.

  “She-wolf?” Sonia breathed, forgetting her food and she watched as Maraleena went stock-still and her face paled.

  Then she blinked.

  Then she stammered, “Oh, it’s just something we… it’s just. Well…” she spluttered, her eyes lit and she proclaimed, “King Callum is known as The Wolf!”

  It was Sonia’s turn to blink at her, stunned silent by this news.

  Callum was known as The Wolf?

  The Wolf?

  The Wolf?

  Why had he not mentioned this to her?

  Not once.

  Not while she was calling him that, screaming it during her orgasms (as hideous as that memory was at the moment), cuddling her stuffed wolf, fiddling with the wolf charm his mother bought her or any time in between.

  “King McDonagh was known as wolf too. Because of that we’re all known as wolves.” Maraleena beamed down at Sonia looking, for some reason, strangely pleased with herself and her announcement. “So, you know, if anyone mentions that, say, calls us wolves or she-wolves or… whatever, you know why.”

  Sonia was only partially listening.

  She was more hooked on the fact that she didn’t know Callum’s father’s full name was McDonagh.

  She thought it was Mac.

  Callum hadn’t told her that either.

  And McDonagh was a strange name (not that some of Callum’s people didn’t have strange names).

  Was it a last name? Was it Callum’s last name? Did Callum have a last name?

  He’d never told her that either and she’d never (stupid, stupid her) thought to ask.

  Not, of course, that she cared (anymore). It was just that his last name was probably her last name and she should know her own last name!

  Maraleena, oblivious to Sonia’s rampaging thoughts, moved back to the suitcases. “King Callum and Drogan are down in his study going over things and beginning plans for the celebration and The Mating.” She lifted an armful of Sonia’s clothes out of an opened suitcase and turned to Sonia animatedly. “Two parties to ring in the New Year!” she shouted happily. “One of them the end of those terrible rebels and the other a Royal Mating! How exciting!”

  Sonia thought she should reply or perhaps ask Maraleena what she was doing with Sonia’s clothes but the former became moot when Maraleena babbled and the latter became obvious when Maraleena started to put them away.

  Therefore, Sonia decided to eat and let Maraleena chatter.

  “I figure King Callum will go big on both, The Mating definitely.” She threw a smile over her shoulder at Sonia as Sonia forked up some mushrooms and Maraleena dumped her clothes on top of a bureau and started sorting and kept talking.

  Sonia took her prattle as an opportunity to look around and finally see her new bedroom.

  The minute she did she stopped eating and stared about the room in wide-eyed wonder.

  It was like no other room she’d seen.

  The walls were not flat but rounded however the room wasn’t a circle but seemed to go in waves.

  And it was huge.

  There were two, five-doored, dark wood wardrobes that went from floor to high ceiling and they also followed the wavy curves of the walls. There was a thin dresser but it was tall. There was a wider one with seven drawers and a longer one that had four drawers up and four abreast but was shorter (the one Maraleena was at presently). The walls not covered in furniture were covered in intricate tapestries that looked old but were definitely well-kept and hung from curving, polished brass rails at the top edge of the wall.

  There were many windows, all of them diamond paned and the glass was so old it was wavy as well, giving the gray, green and white landscape beyond it an almost dreamy quality.

  There was an oblong alcove set in one wall which was big enough to seat two and had a fluffy pad covered in hunter green twill and humongous cushiony pillows scattered around in different shades of brown and green.

  There was a circular fireplace that, she noted in shock, was in the middle of the room. It had what looked like a stone hood over it which served as a chimney. On one side of the fire was a half-circle, comfy couch in a reddish-brown and on the other side were two cozy chairs with ottomans separated by a stout, round table. The couch and chairs were also piled with big pillows, woolen throws or soft animal hides.

  The bed Sonia was in was bigger than any bed she’d ever seen, not only wider but longer. It had four curtained posts and was covered in heavy, soft, dark hides stitched together. There were copious pillows across the head, the mattress were covered in soft, clay-colored, flannel sheets and Sonia was separated from the underside of the hides by sheet of the same.

  The floors were littered with rugs, all of different sizes, most of them large and thick and elaborately woven in browns, rusts and greens.

  Any part of the room not taken up by furniture, tapestries or rugs was made up of a mellow, golden-red-brown stone.

  It was the most inviting, comfortable looking, beautiful room she’d ever seen.

  She immediately felt like crying.

  For it was this room she sensed in some of her dreams. She knew it from the many times she’d see that golden-red-brown at the edges of her consciousness that wasn’t involved with her handsome wolf or saw the dancing of the firelight on his skin.

  To bury these thoughts and halt the tears she could not shed in front of Maraleena, Sonia looked down at her plate and forced some egg into her mouth.

  Then she glared at her crockery on her tray for it, too, was beautiful in a sturdy, handsome way with the bottom of the plate and the outside of the bowls, mugs and jugs being a rich, earthen brown but the inside was a gorgeous, muted turquoise.

  Of course, only Callum could have crockery that she instantly loved and therefore forced herself to instantly hate.

  “…executed them all,” Maraleena was saying as Sonia pushed down the top of the cafetière, her words catching Sonia’s attention.

  “Sorry?” Sonia asked.

  Maraleena was zipping up an empty suitcase and setting it aside as she looked at Sonia.

  “They should have executed them all,” Maraleena repeated.

  “Who?”

  “The rebels!” Maraleena exclaimed, not ceasing in her endeavors and heading toward another suitcase then repeatedly pulling out Sonia’s jeans and cords and piling them, fol
ded double, on the couch. “A stroke of brilliance, we all think, King Callum handing down the order to slay them one-by-one until they signed the terms of surrender.”

  Sonia sucked in breath and the oxygen burned her frozen lungs.

  Slay them one-by-one? Sonia repeated in her brain.

  “Nothing less than they deserved,” Maraleena muttered, again oblivious to Sonia’s reaction. “Lots of us feel they shouldn’t have stopped. This has been going on years. Years! And what they want, what they’re fighting for! And killing our males for. It’s revolting. Now, finally, it’s over.”

  Sonia decided to get her system working by pouring coffee into it which always helped and therefore, with studious precision in an attempt to stop her hand from shaking, she prepared her mug.

  Callum had ordered the executions of men.

  One-by-one.

  Until they did what he wanted.

  It was barbaric.

  He was barbaric.

  And he was her mate, her husband, now he was her king!

  “Anyway, it’s a happy New Year with this business over and you seated in the lap of your king,” Maraleena declared while hanging Sonia’s pants on hangers. She threw another smile at Sonia as if she hadn’t just been crowing at the deaths of multitudes of men. “Everyone’s really excited.”

  “I’m glad,” Sonia replied but her voice sounded choked so she sipped her coffee.

  It was delicious. But it didn’t help.

  “You know,” Sonia started, wishing (desperately) to change the subject in an effort not to go stark, raving mad. “I can do that.”

  Maraleena froze while shoving the hangers with her pants on them in the wardrobe.

  Slowly, she turned and bowed her head low.

  Then, deferentially, she murmured, “Yes, my queen.”

  But before her head bowed, Sonia saw a look on her face that was near to tragic.

  “What?” Sonia asked before she remembered Callum telling her that Julianna would be offended if Sonia tried to help. So, quickly, she said, “Maraleena, I’m so sorry. I’m human and new to this royal business.” Maraleena’s head came up but her face had lost its cheerfulness as Sonia carried on, “I’m used to doing things for myself.”

  “I suspected, as King Callum’s mate, you’d want to take care of him,” Maraleena replied in a dead voice.

  Hardly, Sonia thought but did not say out loud.

  “It’s not that, it’s just –” Sonia stopped speaking when the hint of a light of hope lit in Maraleena’s eyes.

  Sonia made a decision, put the tray aside and got out of bed. She walked to Maraleena, grabbed the surprised woman’s hand and led her to the couch. Seating them both side-by-side, she faced the tall woman.

  Then she explained, “Callum has been kind of busy. He hasn’t had time to tell me about the ways of your people and my people are very different. So, if you would, could you tell me what’s happening here because I need to understand it so I can…” Sonia trailed off, not knowing what to say then found her words. “Be a good queen.”

  It sounded lame but the hope built in Maraleena’s eyes and, obviously not a woman who needed a lot of coaxing to talk, she did so.

  “Well, you see, as King Callum’s mate you can decide to take the running of the castle, you know, the cooking and cleaning and stuff. Queen Regan did it for King Mac.” When she stopped, Sonia smiled and nodded encouragingly for her to go on and the hope dimmed as she began to get nervous but she sallied forth. “But, you see, this is my duty to my king but it’s also…” She hesitated. “My job. King Callum pays me to do it and Drogan and I just bought a bigger cottage because our pups are growing and we need the money so if you –”

  “You can keep your job,” Sonia cut in swiftly and the light flared bright in Maraleena’s eyes before she pulled a surprised Sonia in her arms and hugged her.

  “Really?” she cried then went on before Sonia could reply. “Oh, I’m so happy! I’d been so worried since I heard he claimed you.” She pulled back and looked at Sonia. “Drogan said we shouldn’t get that cottage because we never knew when the king would find his mate and if she’d want the running of the castle.” She beamed. “But I told him not to worry. I had a feeling all would be well and now you’re here and you’re so tiny and pretty and nice. And, I know it may sound crazy but I love my job, I love this castle and it’s an honor for anyone to be of service to our king.” She pulled Sonia in her arms and gave her another fierce hug with a whispered, “Thank you.”

  Sonia hugged her back thinking she would like Maraleena which was something good in a world that looked pretty dreary and replied, “You’re welcome.”

  Maraleena let her go and jumped up, quickly resuming work. “You better finish your breakfast. It’ll get cold and King Callum said you had to finish every bite.”

  There it was. A reminder of her dreary world.

  Sonia resumed her place in bed with her tray and she stared at the black patties.

  “What’s this?” she asked, forking one up and showing it to Maraleena.

  “Black sausage,” Maraleena answered after glancing at it and before zipping up another bag and setting it aside.

  Something about her answer, though it probably wasn’t her answer, it was probably hysteria, caused Sonia to start giggling but she spoke through her laughter, “I can see that, Maraleena. It’s definitely black and it looks like a kind of sausage but what is it?”

  Maraleena grinned at her again and said, “Black sausage, blood sausage, you know, sausage made out of blood.”

  Sonia paled.

  Maraleena laughed.

  “It’s really good. Try it,” Maraleena coaxed.

  Sonia gulped.

  “Honestly, try it,” Maraleena prompted. “I only get the best in. You’ll love it. King Callum does.”

  Of course Callum would love sausage made out of blood. He’d probably drink blood if he could.

  Wanting to be a good queen and nice to Maraleena, wincing the whole time, Sonia nibbled at the patty.

  It was delicious.

  So she decided she hated it.

  “Isn’t it lovely?” Maraleena asked with a smile in her voice, watching Sonia closely.

  “Yes. Lovely,” Sonia agreed, made a comical face, Maraleena burst out laughing again and got back to work.

  As she did so, Sonia forced down too much food that she didn’t want even though she hadn’t eaten in ages. Alternately, when she could get a word in edgewise, she chatted with Maraleena as the woman finished with two more suitcases.

  It was while Sonia was gulping down the last bit of toast with a sip of coffee that Callum arrived.

  Sonia looked at him and her heart leaped into her throat.

  He was wearing the chocolate brown corduroy shirt she bought him for Christmas over jeans that fit him well and a pair of brown boots.

  Since yesterday he’d had his hair trimmed but he’d also shaved off the beard.

  Completely.

  No stubble, nothing.

  He was exactly the vision of her dream Callum. The vision she’d never seen in real life (except he was clothed).

  She was so struck by the picture of him, he was sitting on the bed grinning at her before she realized it.

  Then he was leaning in, evading her coffee mug which she was holding aloft and her tray, to brush her lips with his.

  He pulled only an inch away before he murmured, “Morning, my little one.”

  “Morning,” she replied but her voice sounded husky and low.

  She cleared her throat.

  His grin turned into a smile.

  She wanted to conk him in the head with her coffee mug.

  “Brilliant.” They both heard muttered from Maraleena and they both turned their heads to look at her.

  She was clutching one of Sonia’s sweaters and watching them openly.

  “You’re so cute and sweet together,” Maraleena noted, a big, happy grin on her face. “Brilliant. I love it.” Her eyes moved to foc
us on Callum. “Hi there, your grace, welcome home.”

  “Hello, Mara,” Callum returned, shifting so he was sitting in bed beside Sonia. Close beside her, his legs straight out in front of him, his back to the headboard and he seized her mug of coffee from her fingers and then took a sip.

  Sonia clenched her teeth together at the unwanted (she was telling herself) intimacy.

  Maraleena continued folding sweaters like she was in a couple’s bedroom every day seeing to her chores while they lounged in bed.

  “Well done with routing the rebels,” Maraleena threw out casually on another sunny smile in their direction.

  “Thanks,” Callum replied on a half laugh.

  “It’s celebration time,” Maraleena noted gleefully.

  “It is that,” Callum murmured on another sip of coffee but his arm was pushing through the pillows at Sonia’s waist where it settled. His hand at her hip, finding the wolf charm through her nightgown and, as ever, he started fiddling with it.

  Sonia tried not to look like she was seething while allowing herself, if only in her mind, to seethe.

  “Can’t wait,” Maraleena muttered as she placed Sonia’s sweaters on a shelf in the wardrobe.

  “Mara?” Callum called as he set the mug on the tray and then divested Sonia of it.

  Maraleena turned to the bed with her brows raised.

  “You want to do me a favor?” Callum asked, holding the tray out to her.

  Maraleena’s eyes grew so bright they practically singed the room with their glow.

  Then, for some reason, she burst out laughing though Sonia was thinking that Maraleena did that on a regular basis. She rushed forward, nabbed the tray and was out of the room before Sonia could make a peep.

  The minute the door closed, Callum turned his body into hers, pulling her down into the bed so her head was on the pillows.

  Then he kissed her, soft and sweet but also wet and lingeringly.

  It was a great kiss.

  Sonia’s body responded but, luckily, her brain did not.

  Nevertheless, she was breathing heavier when he lifted his lips from hers.