With Everything I Am

  But Sonia had been chosen and she’d been acting like a selfish idiot, thinking of her lost dream instead of doing her duty to him.

  No man, not even someone as strong and charismatic as Callum, should face such a burden alone. It was her duty, her destiny, to stand by his side and provide what she could to help him see it through.

  Still weeping silently, she tipped her head back to look at him.

  “Callum –”

  He looked down at her and started talking at the same time, “Your place is beside me, Sonia, wherever I go. I’ll take you to visit your friends as often as we can but you belong at my side. After what happened with the rebellion, I needed to be home and I needed you with me.”

  “Callum –” she repeated.

  He kept going. “You can’t wear your fancy clothes and high-heeled shoes here. It’s cold and it snows, a lot. It’s my duty to take care of you and I did, by getting you what you needed to live your life at my side.” Then he muttered with irritation, “Christ, you’re the only woman I know who doesn’t like new clothes.”

  She wanted to kick herself at throwing his generosity in his face but instead attempted yet again to interject, “Callum –”

  He kept right on talking just as, visibly, his irritation grew. “Your life is too short to worry about calories, fuck, it’s too damned short to worry about anything. You have a beautiful body and it’ll be even more beautiful when there’s more of it. But you have to learn, little one, to enjoy your life and not waste it on ridiculous things like counting calories and making certain you’ve taken every last vitamin.”

  “Callum –” she tried again but he was on a roll.

  “And when I arrived to collect you and didn’t say hello it was because I’d been fighting for eight days straight. No food, no rest. And I’d left the front after having given an order, an order I knew was carried out in my absence, a vile order I had no choice but to give for they would not admit defeat.”

  Her body grew taut against his again because she knew he was talking about the executions and she fully realized the weight of his burden wasn’t immense.

  It was colossal.

  She tried to break in. “Callum, please –”

  She failed in her endeavor and he carried on, “This has been going on for too fucking long. My father dealt with it, his father before him, we’ve tried everything. I had no choice but to break them. I don’t fucking like not having a choice and I don’t fucking enjoy being forced into a corner that requires me to make a decision that means the end of the lives of men who are probably good men but they followed the wrong path. If I didn’t break them, even more warriors would die, more letters would be written, this would never fucking end.”

  She decided to wait it out. She’d created this, now she had to bear the consequences.

  However, apparently, he was done, for he asked, “Do you understand?”

  Sonia did understand.

  Boy, did she understand.

  She lifted her hand to the side of his face, her fingers going into his hair but her thumb swept along his cheekbone and she replied softly, “I understand.”

  He studied her face and must have approved of what he saw for the intensity moved out of his, his big body relaxed into hers and his fingers started stroking her back.

  “So we’re good?” he queried, his deep voice as soft as hers.

  No, they weren’t good.

  But they were as good as they were going to get. And, as always, Sonia had to accept that.

  Feeling his warm strong body against hers, gazing into his handsome face, allowing the stroking of his fingers to relax her she thought perhaps she was wrong.

  Perhaps, if she simply gave up her dream, she could do this and she vowed at that moment she would.

  Therefore, she nodded.

  “All right, little one,” he was still speaking softly but, for some reason, his arms were getting tighter, “we have one more thing to talk about.”

  Committed to her new vow, Sonia nodded again.

  Then he stated, “You heard Regan and Ryon arrive.”

  Forgetting her vow completely, Sonia automatically jerked in his arms to try to get away.

  Those arms tightened further.

  Panicked, she stared at him and denied, “I didn’t.”

  “You did,” he returned firmly. “You heard the person fall outside yesterday as well.” Her panic rising, Sonia kept pushing against his arms but he held her fast. “You hear a lot you don’t let onto hearing, you smell a lot too.” At the extent of his knowledge, she started to struggle but he didn’t let her gain an inch. “You see a lot too. More than any human does.”

  “I don’t,” she lied.

  “Sonia,” he warned.

  She shook her head.

  His brows drew together and he asked in a far less soft tone, “Why are you hiding it?”

  She stared at him and then something pierced her panic.

  He’d heard Regan and Ryon as well and the person falling outside yesterday and he’d heard Waring arriving at the cabin weeks before. And he smelled them between her legs, just as she did. Thinking about it, she’d noticed it often in a distracted way that he could sense the same things she could.

  And her attackers that night, they’d sniffed her. They could smell her and she’d forgotten or blocked it out of her mind but she’d thought, at the time, they were just like her.

  It was because they were Callum’s kind.

  So much was going on she never thought about it but Callum consistently exhibited the same abilities, the same gifts of sight, hearing and smell that she did.

  And he never hid it. Not once.

  “You have heightened senses,” she breathed in wonder.

  He continued to watch her with knitted brows. “All my people do.”

  “They do?”

  “Yes, Sonia, they do,” he replied and his arms gave her a squeeze. “All my people do. What I want now is for you to admit that you do too.”

  She didn’t know what to make of this. She’d never met anyone who had her gifts except her father. She had always been the strange one, worried about what people would think, how they’d react if they knew.

  But Callum was just like her.

  She stared then she swallowed.

  Then she thought about her destiny and how it brought her to this man who shared her gifts.

  Then she took a huge chance, hoping her father wouldn’t disapprove and, quietly, she shared.

  “Father told me never to tell anyone,” she whispered and watched his brows unknit and lift.

  “Why the fuck not?” he asked irately.

  She shook her head and answered, “Humans don’t have my gifts. He said I should be proud of them but I had to hide them from everyone. Everyone. I could never tell a living soul. And I didn’t. Even Gregor and Yuri don’t know.”

  His mouth got tight at that but he didn’t speak.

  “If they knew, Callum, they’d think I was a freak,” she went on to explain. “They might even fear me.” She pressed closer and her voice dropped back to a whisper. “They might even harm me. My senses are that good. They could think I was a mutant. They could want to study me.”

  As her lifelong, perhaps hysterical fears were verbalized, Callum gave her a shake. “Baby doll, no one is going to hurt you.”

  “Not now,” she agreed. “I have you to protect me. But before, who knows?” she cried. “It’s not just that, it’s more,” she added. Now that she’d let it go, after so, so long, she couldn’t stop the information flowing. “Animals don’t fear me. And I’m not just talking dogs and cats, I’m talking all animals. Birds and the wild animals Papa and I would see when we were out in the woods. And even more, I can feel eyes on me, smell people from far away but I know if they’re good or they’re bad. I’d been sensing your people watching me for years and I knew I had nothing to fear. I also knew those men who attacked me that night before they came into my house. I knew them because I’d been sensin
g them for weeks.”

  It was Callum’s turn to try to cut in. “Sonia –”

  But it was Sonia’s turn to be on a roll.

  “And I dreamed of you. I dreamed of you for ages and you were real. I dreamed of you and I in this room and I didn’t know you or this castle existed. No one does that! I’m a freak!”

  His arms grew so tight, for a second it cut off her breath and she stopped ranting and stared at him.

  “Baby doll, calm down. You aren’t a freak. Me and every one of my own have the same abilities.”

  Her eyes grew wide at this revelation and she breathed, “Did you dream about me?”

  His gaze grew soft and he rolled to his back, rolling her on top of him at the same time. Then his hand came up and his fingers tucked her hair behind her ear.

  “No, unfortunately, I never dreamed of you,” he whispered. “That, honey, is a gift all your own.” She drew in breath to speak but he kept talking. “But your father was right, it’s a gift. All of it and you shouldn’t hide it. You should be proud.” His thumb swept her lower lip and she trembled against him, hearing those words again, words her father said time and again but this time from Callum, spoken in his fierce whisper, his eyes never leaving hers. “You don’t have to hide it here, not amongst my people who are now your people. Baby doll, with me, you don’t have to hide anything. You can be all you.”

  A relief so extreme, a relief that she never thought she’d know, hit Sonia and it was so immense, her body sagged with it. Melting against his, she dropped her cheek to his chest, clutched his shirt in her fists and burst into sobs.

  “I never thought… it’s been so… so ha… hard…” she stammered as his fingers sifted soothingly through her hair. She was focusing on his hand’s movements, trying to come to terms with everything (an impossible task) when something occurred to her, Sonia’s head jerked up, the tears ceased and she asked, “Do you think I’m one of you?”

  Callum shook his head. “No, baby doll. We don’t have any blondes among us.” His hand came to her face, he swiped at her tears and said softly, “But you know you aren’t. If you take a minute, you can smell the difference.”

  She took in a breath and she knew what he was saying. She’d never given herself the time to make the connection before but his people’s scents were different than hers. They were deeper, muskier almost wild and animal but not in the least unpleasant.

  In fact, she liked their smell better than humans.

  “I like your smell,” she blurted, meaning his people’s smell (though she liked his too, immensely) but it didn’t come out that way.

  He grinned before he rolled into her saying huskily, “I like yours too.”

  The tawny was spiking through his irises and Sonia knew all too well what that meant.

  And she suddenly felt vulnerable.

  Exposed.

  She’d never been with him knowing him the way she did then, understanding both their duties, their abilities, their connection on a level that hadn’t, until that moment, penetrated.

  “Callum –” she whispered but he was mostly on top of her and his face disappeared in her neck.

  Then his tongue slid up its length before he said, “Regan wants you and she’ll be back from her walk soon, we have to be fast.”

  “Callum –” Sonia whispered again but his mouth moved over her jaw, took hers in a hungry kiss and she was instantly lost.

  They were fast, or, she should say, Callum was fast.

  With practiced ease, he’d drawn the urge over her but, even if they needed to be fast, he felt in the mood to play.

  Therefore, she was fully clothed, as was he, but Sonia was on her knees in front of him. His arms were around her, one hand in her unzipped jeans, the other up her sweater having yanked down her bra. His fingers were torturing her in beautiful ways in both places.

  Her head was resting against his chest and, as she ground down into his fingers, she tipped it back to gaze unfocused at his strong, square jaw.

  “I want you inside me,” she begged.

  “Tonight,” he growled.

  “Please,” she breathed.

  He gave her what she asked for but not what she really wanted and two of his fingers entered her, stroking deep.

  Taking what she could get, she rode them wildly.

  “That’s it, baby doll,” he groaned hoarsely into her ear, “Fuck yourself and come for me.”

  Instantly upon hearing his words, she did as she was told. Her cries piercing the air as the orgasm overwhelmed her and her body trembled in his arms.

  When she was done, he was cupping her breast and her sex and his mouth was at her neck.

  “You okay, little one?”

  Her body wasn’t okay. It was more than okay, happy and content.

  Her mind wasn’t okay either but it was better than it had been since Callum stormed into her life and turned it on its head.

  She understood him and his duty and she knew her place.

  It was okay as it was ever going to be.

  She decided to nod.

  “Good,” he murmured, his hands moved gently away and he righted her clothing but his arms wrapped around her and he held her where she was. “One more thing, baby doll.” He was still murmuring but there was steel veining through his tone and she held her breath for what was to come next. “Never again ask me to give back my ring. No matter how pissed you are, never do that again.” His arms tightened around her and he growled, “I can’t wear it into battle for reasons you’ll eventually understand. I gave it to Regan for safekeeping. From now on, if I need to, I’ll give it to you. But it means something to me. I can’t fucking imagine why you’d say it doesn’t but get that out of your head right now. Am I understood?”

  Her breath caught in her lungs, the steel in his tone piercing that guard around her heart. Even though she wasn’t entirely certain she understood or believed what he was saying, Sonia could do nothing but nod.

  Satisfied with her response, he kissed her neck, gave her a squeeze and then pulled them out of the bed, walked them out of the room and took her to his mother, leaving her in the cozy, warm knitting room with its blazing file and her mother-in-law smiling happily at them as he kissed her thoroughly and left.

  Likely to write more letters.

  She stared after him long after he’d gone.

  Then Sonia Arlington sighed, finally accepting her fate, and she turned with a smile to Regan.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Betrayal

  Walking down the hall toward the kitchen, Callum heard the three women’s voices filled with laughter just as he smelled the three distinct scents.

  Two wolves.

  One Sonia.

  As he turned the corner to enter the room, Sonia, no longer hiding her gifts, was already looking toward the door expectantly, a small smile on her face.

  Callum smiled back.

  She was sitting at a stool at the counter, a mug of coffee cupped in both hands. She had her long hair pulled back from her face with a wide, pale pink band and she was wearing the cashmere robe he bought her for Christmas as well a pair of thick, pale pink socks. Her face was free of makeup and he thought she’d never looked lovelier, not simply because she was but because, since their blowout fight that afternoon a week and a half before, she’d changed.

  As he walked into the room, Callum nodded to Mara and Callista but he went directly to his mate, getting close and when he did she tipped her head back to look at him.

  “Hey,” she said softly, her eyes warm on him and that single word made his cock jerk.

  He threaded his fingers in her thick, soft hair and bent his mouth to hers.

  “Hey,” he replied against her lips before he kissed her lightly.

  When he lifted his head, her cheeks were pink but her eyes showed her disappointment.

  Satisfied with her reaction, Callum grinned.

  Her gaze dropped down to his grin and she emitted a delicate, fluttering sigh.


  Loving that sound, Callum’s hand twisted reflexively but gently in her hair.

  “Do you want coffee?” she asked.

  No. He didn’t want coffee.

  He wanted to order Mara and Callista out of the room and he wanted to lift Sonia up on the kitchen counter and do things to his queen that, just from the memories, would make certain that pink stayed in her cheeks any time she was having coffee with her new friends in this room.

  “Yes,” he answered.

  His fingers glided through her hair as she put her mug down, got up, her body brushing his, but she didn’t go to the coffeepot immediately. She stopped, went up on the tips of her toes, kissed the underside of his jaw and then she went to the coffeepot.

  “Big day tomorrow,” Mara commented as Callum leaned a hip against the counter and watched Sonia make him a mug of coffee.

  “Mm,” Callum replied, his mind on his mate.

  “I can’t wait,” Callista remarked. “My house is full. Every room, every couch. Even some in sleeping bags on the floors. The whole town is buzzing with excitement.”

  “I know!” Mara exclaimed. “The place is heaving. Last night, Drogan and I took the pups up to our roof just so we could look all around at the campfires dotting the hills in the dark.” She clasped her hands together and breathed, “It was so beautiful, it was like a dream.”

  Sonia returned and handed Callum his coffee after which she slid an arm around his waist and rested her weight into his side. When she did, he pulled her closer with his arm around her shoulders.

  Sonia looked to the women and stated, “It’s seriously crazy. Every day for days, more and more fires. I can’t believe so many people are out in this snow and cold in tents.”

  Callista grinned at her. “Our people don’t mind the cold.”

  “They’d have to not,” Sonia replied. “It was below freezing last night. Even in the castle, Callum kept the fire going all night in our room to fight back the chill.”

  “I’ll bet he did,” Mara muttered with comically wide eyes to Callista and Callum watched Sonia’s cheeks go pink again for Mara was right. Callum kept the fire going in the fireplace but he kept Sonia warm under the hides in other ways.