Every Soul a Star

  “I don’t mind not looking,” I tell them. “Maybe we should just go back in. It could rain again any second.”

  “It’s all set now,” Ally says, ignoring my suggestion and pointing at the eyepiece. “Just don’t touch anything this time.”

  So having exhausted all other options, I close my left eye and let the rubber of the eyepiece cover my right eye, as instructed. And I look. The pockmarked face of the moon stares back at me, enormous and bright. It doesn’t look anything like it does hanging above us in the sky. It’s so beautiful and mysterious and powerful. This enormous rock controls so much of what happens on our planet. The tides, for one, and indirectly, the weather. I’m struck by the perfect way the universe fits together, like a big elaborate watch that keeps perfect time. Wait, why am I thinking about the tides and watches? What’s wrong with me? I step back from it like I’ve been burned. My head suddenly feels heavy and I know why I was so scared to look into the telescope. The thing that I’ve smothered since third grade has resurfaced.

  My inner geek has been released.

  That’s so not good.

  JACK

  6

  Bree stumbles back from the telescope and Ryan, who is the closest, steadies her. The rest of us crowd around. “Are you okay?” Ally asks, peering into Bree’s face.

  Bree nods slowly, but doesn’t focus on any of us. She seems in a total daze or shock or something.

  “Do you want to go back to your cabin?” Ryan asks. “We’ll walk you down.”

  She shakes her head.

  Melanie is standing next to me, so I whisper to her, “Is she going to be all right?”

  Melanie’s eyes are wide. She seems unsure what to do. Bree suddenly throws her head back and stares up at the moon, then back at the ground, then up again, almost like she’s calculating something in her head.

  “She’ll be fine,” Melanie says. “I think.”

  We continue to watch her for a minute, until she suddenly focuses on Ally and demands, “Where’s that nail polish you found?”

  “Guess she’s back to normal,” I joke.

  But she shakes her head. “I don’t want to paint my nails with it. I want to paint my flashlight.”

  Leaving the rest of us with our mouths hanging open, Melanie slips her arm through Bree’s and they head to the shed, followed by Ryan.

  A few minutes later, while Kenny is fiddling with the telescope, Ally says, “Jack, you told me you came here instead of going to school this summer. What did you mean by that?”

  I don’t really want to tell her, but I can’t see how to avoid answering. “When you fail a class, you have to make it up over the summer.”

  “What did you fail?”

  I can’t even look her in the eye. “Science,” I mumble.

  “Science?Mr. Silver failed you?”

  I nod, feeling like a total idiot. “And it’s not like I don’t think it’s interesting. I just like sitting in the back and drawing better. It was dumb of me. I could have passed. He gave me plenty of chances.” I can feel that familiar heaviness, that familiar disappointment in myself, start to settle in my chest.

  Ally puts her hand on my arm. The feel of it makes the heaviness lessen. “If you hadn’t failed that class,” she says softly, “you wouldn’t be on this hilltop right now. And neither would any of us. So I’m glad you sat in the back drawing.”

  I feel the ends of my lips curl into a smile. “Thanks, Ally. I guess I am too.”

  Kenny coughs, to remind us that he’s here, too. It’s starting to drizzle again, so the three of us pull on the cover and push the scope back to the shed. Bree is done with her flashlight and shows it off when we get inside.

  Kenny says, “We can make it down the hill before the rain picks up again. We won’t have to sleep up here.”

  We all look at each other. Nobody makes a move to leave.

  I’m the first to wake up the next morning. The sun is beaming through the small window. I have to get back to the campground to make sure no one from the tour needs anything, since somehow I doubt Mr. Daniels is going to do it. Kenny is starting to stir so I wait for him to open his eyes and then tell him where I’m going. He nods, and then closes his eyes again.

  I tip-toe out of the shed, which isn’t an easy thing to do when you’re my size. The sunlight has a crisp quality to it that I’ve never really seen before. It must not be much past dawn. I dig my watch out of my pants pocket. Six fifteen. We hadn’t gotten much sleep last night. It was pretty cramped with six people, and there was a lot of blanket stealing. Mostly we were talking though, telling stories, ghost and otherwise. Bree was still sort of out of it at first, but then she started talking about silly things she and her friends have done at the mall. Bree’s someone who never would have spoken to me at school. And I never would have spoken to her either. But she’s funny, and I don’t think she’s as confident as she wants people to believe. Up here everything’s different. Up here I’m different. Back home I’ve tried to do what Melanie said and just be myself. But the kids didn’t respect me like she said. They just ignore me. And that’s not the same thing. I know I need to let it wash over me more and not worry what people think about me. It’s so hard though.

  I head to my cabin to make sure no one left a note for me. As I pull open the front door I realize that the shades are drawn. I’m sure I didn’t leave them that way. I hear my mom’s voice saying you never want to walk in on an intruder, but it’s too late now. Enough light comes in behind me that I can see two people, one in each bed. On the floor at my feet is a crumpled t-shirt. I push it with my toe to get a better look: eclipse chasing: not for the weak.

  Right! I had promised those guys they could stay here if the storm came. I’m glad I left the door unlocked.

  I quickly scan the cabin and don’t see any notes or anything. I really want to change out of my pants, which are still damp, so I open the dresser drawer as quietly as I can and pull out the first pair of shorts my hand lands on. I’m about to make my exit when one of the guys wakes up and sees me.

  “Hey, dude,” he says, leaning up on his elbow. The cot creaks under his movement, but the other guy keeps snoring lightly.

  “Hey,” I reply.

  “Thanks for letting us crash here.”

  “No problem.” I turn to go again.

  “Wait a sec. You just getting in? Where did you sleep?”

  “Um, I was with some friends. We were trying to do this experiment thing and —”

  “Dude,” he says, holding up his hand, “you are a party animal,” and he turns back over.

  I hesitate. Should I tell him it was all in the name of science? Nah. It’ll be good practice in not letting it bother me what other people think. I close the door quietly behind me. It’s too early for breakfast, so I head to the Art House. Ever since I was in there with Ally I’ve wanted to go back. Once inside, I quickly pull off the stiff jeans and pull on the shorts. Walking slowly around the room, I carefully select a spot on the wall that seems the right size. Ally had said each person gets one square foot. You can fit a lot in that space. I didn’t know until this morning what I would paint. I go to the table and pick out the right paints. Black and brown, white, blue and silver.

  An hour later I drop my brush into the can of water. It’s the best thing I’ve ever done. And not an alien head to be found.

  Stomach growling, I hurry down to the pavilion for breakfast. David and Pete are at the end of the line and I hesitate. I’ve been avoiding them the past few days, still embarrassed about not having the first-aid kit, I guess. But I get in line behind them and watch David pile eggs on a plate for both of them.

  “Jack!” Pete says, grabbing hold of my wrist. “Where’ve you been? Did you hear that storm last night? Daddy said thunder is the gods bowling! Can you believe that? Bowling!”

  “It must have been some game!” I say, smiling at Pete. I force myself to raise my head to David.

  “You doing okay?” David asks. “We heard about
Silver having to go home.”

  I nod. “He hopes to be back before the eclipse.”

  We stand there awkwardly until a familiar voice says, “Can’t an old lady get some eggs or are you young men going to take all of ’em?”

  I turn to find Stella, in a green sweat suit and a straw hat with a purple sash. If I ever draw her, I’d like to draw her in this outfit.

  “By all means,” David says, waving her toward the buffet. “Ladies first.”

  We all have breakfast together, and I fill them in on Mr. Silver’s project. They listen intently, David often interrupting me with scientific questions I don’t know the answers to. Ryan’s grandfather puts his hand gently on Stella’s shoulder. “Might I join you?”

  “Of course,” she says, reddening slightly.

  The old man carefully brings his legs over the side of the bench and sits down next to her. “My grand-son is bringing me breakfast today,” he says. “I’m a lucky guy.”

  This is the first time I’ve seen Stella act shy. I’m trying to decide if I should tease her or not, when Ryan heads over and puts down two trays.

  “Hey, Jack,” Ryan says. “Don’t eat too much. We’re going jogging in an hour. Don’t want you throwing up on my watch.”

  “I won’t,” I promise, watching Stella daintily cut her pancakes. I’ve eaten with Stella before. She usually eats like a truck driver. I wonder if Ryan is okay with his grandfather getting friendly with another woman, even though it was his grandmother who did the leaving. I wonder what happened to Stella’s own husband. I wonder why I never asked.

  An hour later I’m panting my way across the Moon Shadow. I usually avoid running or jogging whenever possible. It’s not a pretty sight. The only time I’ve run without being totally self-conscious is that time I had to get the first-aid kit. Ryan isn’t even breathless as he leads me past the RV park. I wave at Sam and Max, the little red-haired twins. Their mom had been desperate for someone to watch them a few days ago, and I was the first person she saw who didn’t run away when she approached. All the twins wanted to do was use the sidewalk chalk to draw dinosaurs. It was actually a lot of fun. I might take up babysitting when I get home. If Mike would ever let me live it down. I notice the dinosaurs were washed away by the rain and they’d been replaced by a big yellow SpongeBob.

  “I really think . . . I think . . . I’m gonna pass out,” I tell Ryan in between gasps for breath.

  “Nah, you’ll be fine. Drink plenty of water when you get back.”

  But all I can do when I get back to my cabin is collapse on the bed. Whichever t-shirt guy had slept in it was thoughtful enough to make the bed. Not that it would have mattered to me. The next thing I know there’s a knock on the door. I groggily open my eyes and look at my watch. Three o’clock! I slept for five hours!

  I scramble off the bed and hurry to the door. I open it to find Ally standing there, looking all clean and refreshed. I wince as I realize what I must look like. I wish I’d taken a shower after the run. I hope I don’t stink. She holds up a big white paper bag and says, “I’ve got sandwiches.”

  I rub my eyes. “Sorry?”

  “For dinner tonight. I figured we’d go up early. We need to make sure we can find the right star as soon as it’s out.”

  I slept right through lunch! It’s not like me to miss a meal. Those sandwiches smell good. “Don’t you have to give one of your talks tonight?”

  She shakes her head. “My mom’s going to do it. She feels so guilty about making us move that right now I could probably ask for a pony and she’d give it to me.”

  “You want a pony?”

  “No. But don’t all girls want ponies?”

  “I have no idea.”

  “See, that’s my problem.”

  “What is?” I know I just woke up, but I’m having a hard time following her.

  “Being a girl.”

  “You seem to be doing a good job as far as I can see.”

  She shakes her head again. “No. I don’t think I am.”

  We each sit down on a bed.

  “I’m going to ask Bree if she’ll help me.”

  “I’m a little scared of her,” I admit.

  “Me too,” Ally says, then laughs. “Maybe it’s because she’s so beautiful. Don’t you think she’s the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen?”

  I shake my head. “I’ve seen prettier.”

  “You have not.”

  “I have.” It takes all my courage to look up.

  “Oh,” she says, and blushes furiously.

  And then because I can’t believe I said that, I blurt out something even more embarrassing. “When I was ten months old I was in a Pampers commercial for plus-sized diapers.”

  “You were?”

  I nod, mortified, yet unable to stop talking. “It was SD1’s fault. That’s Step Dad Number One,” I quickly explain. “I don’t remember him at all. But he knew someone who was looking for babies of a certain size. There was me and twenty other fat babies crawling around a park—on the jungle gyms, the seesaws, the sandbox, the swings, all in our non-leaking, moved-with-our-bodies, plus-sized Pampers. That commercial aired for six years. If I manage to get into college, it will be paid for.”

  “Wow,” she says. “So you’re kind of famous.”

  “I could have done without wearing a diaper on national television.”

  Before Ally can say anything we hear, “Dude! What are you talking about?” I look up to see one of the t-shirt guys sauntering through the door. He flops down on the bed that Ally’s sitting on. “Mind if I chill here for a little? Kinda got used to the place.”

  Ally stands up. She’s still holding her bag of sandwiches. “I’ve got to go anyway. Two hundred more people are checking in today.”

  “Two hundred?”

  She nods. “It’s crazy. I mean it’s great, but just insane.”

  “And there’s room for everyone?”

  She smiles. “We’ve been planning this a long time, remember?”

  “Right.”

  “Three more days!” t-shirt guy says, punching the air with his fists. I should probably ask his name. I’m not sure if I should kick him for interrupting my time with Ally, or thank him for keeping me from telling any more embarrassing stories.

  I walk her to the door and we agree to meet at the shed at seven. She must have seen me eyeing the bag because she holds it out and says, “Would you like your sandwich now, by any chance?”

  “Sure,” I say as nonchalantly as possible. “Might as well save you the trouble of bringing it up later.”

  She opens the bag and pulls out a sandwich wrapped in tin foil. “I appreciate that. The bag was getting heavy.”

  “No problem.” The sandwich is still warm. I wonder what it is.

  “It’s meatloaf,” she says. “Left over from lunch.”

  I’ve got the sandwich open and am on my third bite before she walks down the last step.

  “Dude,” t-shirt guy says as I chew. “You gonna share that or what?”

  I shake my head.

  “Fine.” He pulls a pixie-stick out of his pocket, rips the end open with his teeth, and pours it down his throat in one swig.

  I leave him chanting “Three more days!” and go sit on the porch step. The campground is really hopping. People dragging suitcases, kids jumping and playing, couples holding hands. Last night’s rain has made the ground pretty muddy, but I can tell it’s already starting to dry up from the hot sun.

  When I’m done with my sandwich I go back in, grab my towel, and head to the showers. And if I spend a little more time patting down my hair afterward than usual, I wouldn’t admit it.

  When I get to our site the first person I see is Ally. She’s standing at the scope talking to Kenny and Melanie. Bree’s in the doorway of the shed drinking a bottle of water. I quickly look the other way before Ally sees me because I’m suddenly mortified that I told her about the diaper commercial. What was I thinking? I’ll have to remember not to c
arry on a conversation when I’m still half asleep. I’m putting so much effort into not looking at Ally, that I’m not looking where I’m walking. The next thing I know, I’ve tripped over something and am sprawled on the ground.

  I hear a groan next to me and turn my head. “Ryan? Why are you on the ground?”

  “Ungh,” he moans. “Raw eggs. Trying to make protein shake. Barfed, like, ten times.”

  I get to my feet and brush myself off. “That’s rough. Anything I can do?”

  He shakes his head and grabs his stomach. “Go on,” he says in a hoarse whisper. “Just leave me to die. If you find the planet, promise me you’ll name it after me.”

  “You know I can’t do that.”

  “Fine.” He turns his head away from me. “Some thanks I get for all I’ve done for you. When you start school next year twenty pounds lighter and fifty percent cooler, you’ll remember you dissed me.”

  “I’ll send you a thank-you note.”

  Bree heads over and kneels down next to Ryan.

  “How’s the patient?”

  He groans in response.

  “He’s all yours,” I tell her. It’s time to face Ally.

  I walk up to the scope as Kenny is explaining how to use the computer that he’s re-attached to the scope. Ally smiles at me and I feel my cheeks get hot, but I manage to smile back.

  “The first thing we have to do is synch up the telescope to our exact location,” Kenny says. “I have to plug in the longitude and latitude of the nearest city, which we’ve already figured out. Then we’ll need two bright stars to focus on. The GPS built into the computer will find those stars and then once it has those three points, it can find anything else we ask it to.”

  “It can go right to any star?” Ally asks. “Or planet?”

  Kenny nods. “Or galaxy, or nebula, or even the International Space Station.”

  “So it can do the Messier objects?”

  He nods. “If they’ve over the horizon at the time.”

  Her face falls and then she sighs. “It’s all changing. What’s the point of holding the Messier Marathon if you can just use a computer to find them?”