Killer Insight

  “How, exactly?” I asked, rubbing my eyes.

  “He could have been out with a girl.”

  There was a very long moment of silence while I thought about that. Then, “Give Eggy a kiss for me, Dave. I’ll call you in a day or so, okay?”

  “Hang in there, girl,” Dave said.

  I disconnected and shut off the cell. Getting up to retrieve the charger from my suitcase, I plugged it in and stuck my tongue out at it. I’d had the damn thing on steadily since the night Dutch had given it to me, and he had not called once. And even though I was now quickly running down the path of getting involved with someone else, I still missed him. A lot. A whole lot.

  I went back to the bed and took off my boots. With a heavy sigh I lay back and felt the tears coming. Before long I was having myself a good cry. Soon after that, spent and exhausted, I fell fast asleep.

  Chapter Ten

  I was walking on a path in the woods. All around me I felt the forest closing in, and panic coursed through my heart. Ahead I heard a voice I recognized, my grandmother’s. She was reciting a nursery rhyme she said to me at bedtime when I was a child:

  Now I lay me down to sleep…

  I pray the Lord my soul to keep…

  And if I die before I wake…

  I pray the Lord my soul to take…

  “Grams?” I called to her. “Grams? Where are you?”

  “I’m here, Abby-gabby. Come on; you’ll miss the movie,” she called from somewhere up ahead.

  I hurried through the forest, running now away from an increasing sense of danger. I came to a fork in the road, and in the middle of the fork was the crumbling ruins of a building. The mailbox read, ABBY COOPER, and I looked at it curiously, because I’d seen it before, but I couldn’t place where. My grandmother stood, beautiful and radiant, on the steps of the crumbling ruin, a warm and inviting smile on her face. She pointed right, then left at each path in the fork and said to me, “Abby-gabby. Which way will you go?”

  Before I could answer her I heard a voice behind me say, “Time’s up!”

  I turned toward the voice, but couldn’t discern where it was coming from.

  “Time to get up!” the voice said, and my eyes flew open.

  “Huh? Wha…?” I said, groggily sitting up and blinking around the room, trying to get my bearings.

  “It’s time to get up, Abby. You’ll be late for the rehearsal dinner if you don’t jump in the shower and get ready now,” Vivian said from the doorway to my bedroom.

  I shook my head, trying to clear the cobwebs, and said, “Thanks, Viv. Be right there.”

  She nodded and shut the door. I pivoted and put my feet on the floor but sat there to collect my thoughts for a second. The dream bothered me. This was the second time my grandmother had made contact with me, and I wondered about her message. I could feel it was important, that there was something about a decision to be made and it was vital to choose the right direction, but the decision involved was something of a mystery.

  With a tired sigh I pushed off the bed and shuffled to gather my dress, makeup bag and hair supplies. Making my way to the bathroom I could hear Viv on the phone with the taxi company. “We’ll need the cab to arrive by five thirty and not a moment later or there’ll be no tip for the driver….” Good ol’ Viv. She was one tough cookie, all right.

  An hour later I was dressed in a gorgeous black velvet gown that showed plenty of leg and played to my strengths (small waist and broad shoulders) while hiding my shortcomings (small boobs and a bubble butt). I’d taken extra care with my hair, curling it into lots of tight spirals that cascaded down past my shoulders. This style had been a gamble when I’d started in with the curling iron but came out perfectly, thank God. It’d been a really long time since I’d had a good-hair day, so I suppose this made up for it.

  I threw on a pair of three-inch heels and long silver earrings, and topped the look off with smoky gray eye shadow and a deep burgundy lipstick. Eyeing myself critically in the mirror when I was finished, I was quite pleased with the result. “Rrrrrow,” I mouthed at the mirror. Sometimes there is nothing better to assuage a broken heart than looking hot. Tonight I was on fire.

  I came out of the bathroom and put my gear away, then joined Viv in the front hall. She eyed me with a smirk on her face for a moment before commenting, “You trying to reel Duffy in, or give him a heart attack?”

  “Little of both,” I said with a wink.

  “That’s my girl,” she answered with a wink of her own. “Oh, look! Our cab’s here. Good for him, right on time. I hate having to tip poorly. Come on, Abby, let’s boogie.”

  Viv and I headed out to the waiting taxi and enjoyed a pleasant enough trip to the country club. On the way I couldn’t help but notice Viv’s extra-large pocketbook, and I could only imagine what she intended to pinch tonight.

  A valet held the door open for us as we exited the cab, and even though I offered to pay, Viv shooed my efforts away and gave the cabbie a twenty. He gave her a dark look, as the fare had been nineteen dollars even, and while Viv’s back was turned I slipped him a few extra bucks. “Come on, Abby!” Viv said. “Let’s get inside out of this cold.”

  I pulled my own wrap closer around me as I hurried inside with her, noting that the temperature had dipped dramatically in the past few hours. Once inside we gave our wraps to the coatcheck girl and headed into the main dining room, which had been reserved for this occasion. I eyed the crowded room, looking for Ellie. I wanted to see how she was holding up and to offer my sincere apologies for what I’d said in her reading. Even though I knew I needed to tell her what I did, it didn’t mean that I didn’t still feel guilty for bringing so much worry down on her shoulders right before her wedding.

  While I was taking in the room I felt an arm wrap around my waist. Startled, I looked up to see a man about my age with light brown hair and green eyes. “Excuse me,” I said, moving away from him. “Do I know you?”

  “Not yet, but the night’s young,” he answered with a cocky grin. “I’m Gary, Eddie’s cousin and the best man. You wouldn’t be Sara, would you?”

  “No, I’m Abby,” I said. “Are you walking with her on Friday?”

  “Yeah, but I’d rather walk with you,” he said as his eyes traveled from my ankles up and hovered over-long around my bosom. I noticed as I looked at him that he swayed slightly on his feet. There was a half-empty martini glass in his hand, and as I watched him watching my chest, he gulped down the rest.

  “Yo,” I said, snapping my fingers to get his attention. My radar told me this guy was about as sleazy as they came. “Have you seen Ellie? I need to talk to her.”

  “Ah, no,” he said as his eyes came up to meet mine for a millisecond, then traveled back down to the twins.

  “Okay, then,” I said, and turned away. Gary made me want to take a shower. “I’d better go find her.”

  Gary put his hand on my shoulder to stop me. “What’s your rush, sweetheart? Why don’t you and I go somewhere private and get to know each other?”

  I swiveled back toward him, and in a move that Dutch had taught me, I picked his hand up off my shoulder and turned his wrist palm-side up. He winced and bent at the knees, trying to relieve the sharp pain that was no doubt shooting through his wrist. “Let’s get one thing straight, Gary,” I whispered close to his ear. “I don’t normally do this, but in your case I’m willing to make an exception and give you some free intuitive advice.”

  “Ah-aaah?” he said, his eyes finally coming to my face and holding steady there.

  “In case you hadn’t heard, I’m a professional psychic. And what I’m picking up from you is the following: You have a drinking problem, Gary. And I’m thinking your girlfriend, the tall blonde that you were pretty crazy about? Well, she left you because she thought you were never going to change. And there’s now an issue at work, am I right; Gary?”

  “Naaah-haa!” he said as I put a wee bit more pressure on his wrist.

  “Yes, there’s so
mething about you getting creative with your accounting, and someone has caught on. Have you been fudging your expense reports?” I said with a narrowed look at him.

  “How did you…?” he said through gritted teeth.

  “I’ll ask the questions, Gary. Now, as I was saying, your guides are telling me that you are out of lucky chances. You need to straighten up and get yourself into rehab ASAP. As in the day after the wedding. But first you will need to own up to your employer about your expense reports, and admit that you are an alcoholic. If you don’t, you’re headed for rock bottom.”

  Gary nodded at me, his eyes wide and frightened. I let go of his wrist then and he straightened up and shook out his hand. “Don’t tell anyone, okay?” he said, looking around to see if we’d been overheard.

  “Do you promise to go into rehab and get yourself some help?”

  “Yes!” he hissed. Liar, liar…pants on fire…

  I scowled at him. “I’m disappointed, Gary. My radar says you’re full of baloney.”

  Gary gave me a snarl. “Do you know how expensive those rehab places are?”

  “Why don’t you ask your cousin for some help? I’m sure, as a doctor, he’s bound to know of some good programs that may not cost an arm and a leg.”

  “You want me to go to Eddie?” He laughed. “I’m supposed to go to my perfect cousin, with his perfect medical degree and his perfect new wife, and ask him to help his loser cousin? No way.”

  “Fine. Don’t get help,” I snapped. “Hit rock bottom, pal, and enjoy the ride down!” And with that I turned on my heel and walked away. Nothing irritated me more than people who would not help themselves. I had no patience for it. Wanting to get away from Gary, I moved to the opposite side of the room, where I heard a woman’s voice I recognized call my name. My spine snapped into an erect posture as I realized my very own Mommy Dearest was in attendance. Freezing the fakest, most plastic smile I could muster onto my face, I spun around to greet her. “Hello, Claire. Lovely to see you.” Liar, liar…pants on fire…

  “You as well, Abigail,” she said, giving me her warmest head nod. My mother is outwardly very beautiful. She’s an inch taller than me, with short-cropped silver hair, long legs, high cheekbones and deep-set eyes. Think Katharine Hepburn and you’d be close on appearance. Think pissed-off polar bear and you’d be closer on personality. “You’ve done something different with your hair,” she said, looking at the top of my head, her eyes narrowing and her mouth turning down in a pout.

  “Is Sam here?” I asked, trying to lure her away from the critique I knew was soon to follow.

  “Of course he is; did you think I would come unescorted?”

  “No, I just—”

  “Only the most desperate woman would show up to something like this unescorted. Where is your date, dear?” she asked me with a glint in her eye, and I knew that she’d heard about my big breakup.

  Just as my cheeks began to feel hot I heard, “I’m right here,” and Duffy touched my elbow.

  Turning gratefully to him I said, “Hey, there, I wondered where you’d gotten to.”

  “I had to bring you back something to drink. You wanted red, right?” he asked, placing a glass of wine into my hand.

  I nodded and beamed him a smile. Ha! Take that, Claire!

  “Hello, Duffy,” Claire said, her nose wrinkling as if she were smelling a particularly nasty fart.

  “Claire. You’re looking well,” Duffy said smoothly.

  “Thank you,” she replied, giving him the tiniest smile. “I understand your sister has landed herself quite a catch. Her fiancé is a doctor, correct?”

  “Yes, Ellie’s found herself a good guy who just happens to be a doctor,” Duffy said, placing his hand on the small of my back, which sent shivers up my spine.

  “We always knew she would marry well.” Claire eyed me again. “Abigail, perhaps you should talk to Ellie about how to land a man with potential.”

  I bristled and opened my mouth to tell Claire exactly where she could stuff her advice when Duffy said, “Oh, trust me, Claire, Abby’s doing very well of late in that department. Come on, Abby; there are some friends of mine I’d like to introduce you to. Claire, as always, it’s been a pleasure.” And with that he took my hand and guided me across the room.

  “I owe you huge,” I said when we stopped over by the appetizer buffet.

  “You look amazing,” he said, ignoring my remark.

  “Thank you,” I said, and blushed deeply. “Have you been here long?”

  “No, I mean it,” he said, grabbing me around the waist and pulling me close. “You’ve always been hot, but tonight—wow!” And with that he kissed me right there in public.

  I swooned for just a moment, then pulled back and said to him, “Hey, we cannot do this here!”

  Duffy grinned. “Abs, when you’re right, you’re right.” Next thing I knew he had my hand and was weaving me through the crowd. I saw my father at the bar and passed within four feet of him, but he didn’t seem to recognize me, which was typical for Sam. I noticed his hand was tightly gripped around a double shot of vodka on the rocks. I imagined he was well into his second or third at this point.

  Duffy led me out of the dining hall and through a hallway to a set of stairs that had a rope across the entrance. He undid one end of the rope and waved me forward. I looked at him curiously but headed up the stairs.

  At the top Duffy again took my hand and led me down another long hallway. Stopping in front of a doorway he put his fingers to his lips and said, “Shhhh.” He then opened the door and waved me inside to another set of spiral stairs. Carefully we tiptoed up, and I worked hard to keep my heels from tapping on the metal. At the top of the stairs was a small circular room with windows all the way around. Even though it was dusk outside, the view was splendid. The golf course could be seen spreading out before us, and in the distance the Rockies stood tall and proud set against the fading sunlight. It was so beautiful I sucked in a breath as I turned in a circle to get the full view. I enjoyed the vista for a long moment, then turned to Duffy, who had a rather hungry look in his eyes.

  I grinned at him, meeting his gaze, but didn’t say a word. He was quite handsome himself tonight, dressed in a deep purple velvet jacket, so dark it was almost black, fitted over a blindingly white shirt open at the collar, black pants and leather boots. “I really want to kiss you,” he said in a voice thick with desire.

  “So what’s stopping you?” I asked, raising one eyebrow in challenge.

  “Not sure it’s really a good idea,” he said seriously.

  “It was a minute ago.”

  “Yeah, but a minute ago I forgot that you’re vulnerable right now, and I’d only be taking advantage of the fact that some asshole just broke your heart.”

  And just like that the spell was broken. “Ah,” I said, backing up as if he’d slapped me. “I see. So last night was…what? Another lapse in memory?”

  “No,” he said, taking a step forward. “Last night was amazing. In fact, it was the first time in a long time I felt okay about spending the night with someone.”

  “Good for you,” I snapped. My feelings were bouncing around wildly in my chest. “Glad to see you’re making progress.”

  Duffy took another step toward me, “Yeah, but it’s been tough, which is why I’m trying to be the good guy here.”

  “Congratulations,” I said, moving away from him again when my back made contact with the wall behind me. “I’ll make sure to send you a medal when I get back home.”

  “I don’t want a medal,” he said, moving ever closer, his voice barely a whisper.

  “Then what the hell do you want, Duffy?” I asked, tears stinging my eyes.

  “Right now,” he said inches away from me, “all I want is to kiss every thought of that other guy right out of you.”

  My breathing was coming in short, quick pants, my fists were balled and I didn’t know if I was pissed off, turned on or a little of both. “Like I said,” I whispered as
Duffy’s lips hovered over mine, “what’s stopping you?” and with that he melted against me, his lips soft, moist and hungry. I wrapped my arms around him as we slid down the wall and onto the hard floor. He kissed me until my lips felt hot and raw, while his hands found my breasts and I moaned as he unzipped my dress enough to kiss my nipples and arouse me into dizziness.

  My hands found the buttons of his shirt. Itching to touch his skin, I fumbled with them until I had them open and twisted my fingers into the hair of his chest. Duffy gave a guttural sound that was half purr, half growl as he nibbled my neck, and the sound sent shivers through me. A moment later he rolled over to his back, pulling me to lie on top of him, then cradled my chin with one hand as he swept a curly hair out of my eye. He lingered that way for a moment to stare into my eyes, and as I gazed back into his face I realized I didn’t know how I felt, but I was desperate to stop feeling so torn up inside.

  I wanted to stop hurting every time I thought about Dutch, and I wanted to feel safe in the arms of someone else, but as my fingers came out from under Duffy’s shirt to rest on his shoulders I could see in his expression that he was unwilling to be my rebound guy.

  “You’re not ready, Abs,” he said gently, his hand stroking my cheek as a single tear formed in my eye and leaked its way down to his fingertips.

  I swallowed hard and nodded, not trusting my voice. He sighed and pulled me close to hug me sweetly and stroke my hair. “I’m sorry,” I whispered, tears falling freely now.

  “Hey, now,” he said softly. “None of that. I know how it feels, remember?”

  “When does it stop?” I asked.

  “When you’re ready,” he answered, and kissed my hair. “The thing is, you can’t force it. You can only wait for enough days to pass until your insides don’t feel like they’ve been wrung through the garbage disposal.”

  “I feel like I’ve been unfaithful,” I confessed.

  “I know what you mean,” Duffy said. “Two weeks after I kicked Rachel out, I slept with someone else. It was a shitty thing to do, being that I knew the girl would read more into it than I was ready to give, and I’ve regretted it ever since. But I know what you’re going through right now. You just want to feel something other than sad, and sometimes a little intimacy is the only thing that can change the subject.”