Only Human

  —There’s no problem, Bodie. It’s just that forty-five seconds from now, you’ll be asked to start World War III. We will. Not the whole army. Not fifty thousand men. Just you and me. Now I’m thinking maybe that’s not something you want on your conscience. Remember how many people died when this big guy showed up? We’re about to do it again. You and me. You and me, Bodie. Whoa, don’t you ever point a gun at me. Did you hear what I said? Holster that weapon, Captain.

  —Central, we have a bit of a—HOLY FUCKING SHIT!

  [Lapetus, this is Central. What did you say?]

  It’s Themis! She just appeared right in front of us.

  FILE NO. 2128

  BROADCAST STATEMENT FROM VINCENT COUTURE

  Location: Inside Themis, Saint Petersburg

  Hello, everyone. My name is Vincent Couture. I prepared a short statement. If you don’t mind, I’m just gonna read from it. Here it goes.

  To the United States government, and to the women or men piloting the alien device in front of me. I am inside Themis. I have recently returned from the alien world where this robot and the one I am staring at were built. I was brought there by the inhabitants of that planet along with General Eugene Govender, Dr. Rose Franklin, and Eva Reyes, my biological daughter.

  I have been told that you are requesting our immediate release and are threatening to destroy the government building behind me along with everyone inside if that demand is not met immediately. Before you do anything you can’t take back, let’s all be clear on what that would mean. You would declare war on the Russian Federation. They would retaliate with…everything they have. Now, I know you might be thinking: Russia won’t start a nuclear war over this. They’d be hit just as hard, if not worse. Common sense will prevail. You’d be wrong. Don’t believe me? Imagine a battalion of Russian tanks turning the White House into a pile of rubble. Can you think of a scenario in which you say: Yeah, we’ll let this one slide? They will retaliate. So the real question is how many people are you willing to kill over this? Because it’s not hundreds, or thousands, or tens of thousands, or hundreds of thousands.

  Now let’s talk about those demands.

  First, you should know that General Govender did not return with us. He died on the alien planet five years ago, so you’re not getting him back. As for my daughter, Eva Reyes, she is no longer here. Neither I, nor the Russian authorities, are aware of her location, but she is most likely on her way to the United States right now.

  Second, Dr. Rose Franklin and I were never prisoners. We do not need to be rescued though we appreciate the thought. We are guests of the Russian Federation and have been treated as such since our arrival. However, given the tense nature of this situation, Dr. Franklin has agreed to return to the United States and should already be in US custody.

  That leaves me. Let me remind you that I am not an American, so your request for my release is touching but baseless. I have no doubt that you can get the Canadian government to issue a formal request, but let me save you the trouble. I choose to stay. Let me restate that to avoid any misunderstanding. I am here of my own volition, and I choose to remain here. Your help is not required. Any attempt to remove me by force would amount to kidnapping.

  Now for the main course, you’re not getting Themis either. I have agreed to pilot her and defend the Russian Federation against foreign aggressors until I feel it is no longer necessary. I have entered this agreement of my own free will. I have been assigned a Russian copilot, and Themis is now fully operational. We are ready to engage your robot and will do so in sixty seconds if it is still here. I can’t tell you how that fight will end, but I’m sure you know that I have disabled one of these robots in the past. In fact, I’m the only living person to have ever fought one of these robots and won. With that in mind, I implore you not to test my resolve.

  Now that we’ve covered your demands, let’s talk about mine. Yeah, I have some too. I demand that the United States remove any troops from Canada. I…I demand that the sovereignty of my country be restored fully, and immediately. I want my parliament to be allowed to meet. I’m not gonna let you bully everyone with that robot of yours anymore. That’s not what these things are made for. They’re supposed to be instruments of peace. I want the EDC restored. I want things back the way they were. Did I just ask for world peace? I think I just did. So until you can deliver that, don’t mess with me.

  Oh yeah, I have also been asked to inform you that, as a precaution, Russian and Chinese submarines, each carrying a full complement of nuclear warheads, are currently under way to North America. But you knew that already.

  So…Your call. I’ll even let you throw the first punch. Just make sure we don’t get up again.

  That’s all I have to say. This is Vincent Couture. Over and out.

  …

  …

  …

  Oh, thank God! There. I’ve done it. They’re gone now. You can put the gun down.

  Katherine, tell your man to put the gun down. Please.

  [Oh, sorry. I’m just…WOW! Thank you, Vincent. Well done! I knew you could do it. What was that “I demand” bit at the end? I thought we’d agreed on your speech.]

  I improvised a bit. I thought it would sound more convincing if I put something more personal in there. I mean, no offense, but what reason do I have to “help defend the Russian Federation?”

  [Hey, I’m not complaining. You were great. Were you scared? I was. I almost wet myself, and I wasn’t even there. Woo! I need a drink!]

  What would you have done if they’d attacked? We’d have had no choice but to surrender.

  [You could have fought back! You could have gotten away, made Themis disappear or something. Couldn’t you? I hope so because that soldier had orders to shoot you if you lost.]

  Shoot me how? He’s just standing there. One punch from that robot and he would have bounced around here like a rubber ball.

  [I’m sure he’s glad to hear that now.]

  There’s no fighting back, Katherine. We can’t even move our arms without another pilot! No escaping either, not if it’s anything like the one Kara and I fought. Themis won’t beam while it’s holding us. Something about the energy field.

  [Oh, don’t be so negative, Vincent! You won!]

  We bluffed, and they fell for it, but that’s as far as it goes. I can’t pilot Themis by myself.

  [Then we better find you a copilot.]

  How are you gonna do that?

  [I have an idea! Another one, I know! It’s crazy. I never think of anything, then boom! Two in a row.]

  FILE NO. EE149—PERSONAL FILE FROM ESAT EKT

  Interview between Vincent Couture and General Eugene Govender

  Location: Assigned residence, Etyakt region

  —Goddammit, Couture! I’m not dead yet.

  —I don’t know what to say. Did they tell you what it was?

  —Well, your Opt friend told me, but I don’t understand anything he says. Something about my cells being out of control.

  —Cancer?

  —That’s what it sounded like to me.

  —I’ll ask him.

  —Why? I’m still dying. What difference does it make if I know what’s killing me?

  —Maybe they can cure it.

  —Do you think they’ll be able to cure it more if I know what it is? Besides, he’s already told me they can cure it. They just won’t.

  —What?

  —You heard me. He said they don’t want to in—

  —Interfere.

  —Exactly. I swear I’ll die if I hear that goddamn word one more time.

  —That’s not funny, sir. I’ll talk to him. Maybe I can—

  —What? Change his mind? I don’t think he makes those kinds of decisions. I know the people who do don’t give a damn about what you have to say. And it was funny! Maybe not fall-off-your
-chair funny, but enough for a polite laugh.

  —I’m serious, General. There has to be a way to convince them. There has to be. Rose knows some of their scientists, she—

  —She can’t do anything. You know that. When they say they don’t want to interfere, they really mean that horseshit.

  —But the Council. If they rule that we’re part Ekt. They’d have to take care of you then.

  —That argument is what got us stuck on this rock in the first place. I don’t wanna be cured if it means spending the rest of my even longer life here. You’d be stuck too.

  —We’ll cross that bridge—

  —Screw that bridge, Couture. We’re not crossing it, ever.

  —We can try!

  —Goddammit! Listen to what I’m saying! I don’t wanna be saved! I don’t want you to do anything because I don’t want their stupid cure.

  —I’m not gonna let you die.

  —I don’t need your permission, son. I’m a general. I’m tired of this place. I’m tired, period. I’m seventy-one years old. I’m allowed.

  —…

  —What? You think I’m sorry to go? You think I have a bucket list I want to get through after all this?

  —You don’t want to go home?

  —I’d like…I’d like to live in an old house, alone. By a lake, or a river. Something small. I could sit on the porch and drink coffee, listening to the birds. And no one would come, and I’d never hear another word about war, or aliens, or any of this for the rest of my life. Do you think I can get that?

  —Probably not, sir.

  —Then no. I’m fine the way things are.

  —I’m sorry, sir.

  —Sorry for what? Are you apologizing to me because you can’t cure cancer? Or because you can’t make the world the way I want it to be? Either way, never be sorry about things you have no control over. You’ll just give yourself ulcers. Never half-ass anything. Drink plenty of wine. I think that’s about as much wisdom I have to offer. How’s your girl?

  —She’s doing all right. Certainly better than the three of us. She has a day job. She’s fifteen, and she has a day job. Home…Things are a little rough at home. For one thing, I really suck as a schoolteacher. Rose helps me write lessons and stuff. I try my best. It was a lot easier when she was ten. We try to make it about things that she likes as much as we can—apples and pies aren’t cool anymore—but it’s fairly obvious that we have absolutely no clue what she likes nowadays.

  —Apples and pies?

  —You know. You have two apples and eleven friends. What does each friend get?

  —Nothing. They get squat. I haven’t had an apple in five years. I’d shoot the eleven kids if I had to.

  —Maybe you should be the one teaching her.

  —I was until now.

  —What are you talking about?

  —Goddammit, Couture! Pay attention to your kid. She doesn’t have a day job, she has half a day job. The rest of the time she spends with that young guard trainee, some old man from the soup kitchen, that blue friend of yours.

  —Esok? How do you know all that?

  —I read tea leaves…Because she tells me, you idiot! She might tell you if you paid attention. She stops by my place every morning. She usually brings some yesketats she gets from the market.

  —You like that red juice?

  —Oh yeah.

  —It’s too sweet for me.

  —We talk, I show her things.

  —What do you talk about?

  —Whatever it is she wants to learn. She likes military strategy.

  —You’re teaching her to fight?

  —Do I look like a kung fu master to you? I’m out of breath after I tie my shoes. No! Strategy! Classical stuff: hammer and anvil, oblique order, blitzkrieg, flanking maneuvers—she likes that. We reenact famous battles, with beans and rocks. She’s a natural. She doesn’t know the names of things, but she has great instinct.

  —I didn’t know that.

  —I know you didn’t. You’re so busy trying to make all of this “normal,” making her feel like she’s back home, you don’t notice what’s happening here. I got news for you, son, this ain’t home. There’s nothing normal about it.

  —I just want—

  —I know what you want! You’re not getting it. Maybe it’s time you start wanting something else.

  —I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.

  —You’re not “supposed” to do anything, Couture. You decide. You have no idea what to do, well here’s one for you. Get your head out of your ass and get that kid of yours home!

  —The Council might rule our way, I—

  —The Council? You’ve been waiting for them for five goddamn years! They’re not helping us. How long will it take for you to get that through that thick head of yours? Eva’s fifteen now, Couture. Fifteen? Are you gonna wait until she’s thirty? Get her away from this place. We don’t belong here, son. She doesn’t.

  —I don’t know—

  —I don’t know what to do…Is there an echo in here? Boohoo. You find a way home, and you take it. I told you to make friends. You barely get out of your house. You can’t even see what’s right in front of your nose. I just told you your daughter spends all her days with an Imperial Guard trainee. What do you think these people do? They pilot big-ass metal robots, that’s what they do.

  —He can’t do it on his own. I already asked. They control all the robots from one place. We’d need someone to let us go. We could try and take that command center by force, but I…

  —You what? You’re afraid it might be dangerous? You don’t want to put her in harm’s way? She’s already in harm’s way, Couture. There are riots every day. Someone bombed—well, vaporized—a government building in Osk this morning.

  —I didn’t know.

  —This place is on the verge of revolution, and we’re smack-dab in the middle of it. One side blames us, the other one uses us.

  —They know we have nothing to do with what’s going on.

  —Oh, we’re involved. We’re involved whether we like it or not. Your daughter is. Don’t fool yourself into thinking she’s safe because they haven’t hurt her yet. You get your kid off this rock, you hear me? You need to promise me you’ll get her home.

  —I’ll—

  —Goddammit, Couture! You don’t try. You do it!

  —Yes, sir.

  —That’s my boy. Now hand me that loaf of bread, will you?

  —What? This?

  —Are you making fun of my bread?

  —You made this…thing?

  —You try making bread with what they have here.

  —It looks more like a pancake. Did you use any yeast?

  —And how would I do that? Go to the market and ask for fungus? Would you eat that?

  —Probably not.

  —That’s right. Could be someone’s athlete’s foot. I hate this place. There’s nothing good to eat. Not a goddamn thing. You know the first thing I’m gonna do when I’m gone?

  —What?

  —I’m gonna have the biggest goddamn steak anyone’s ever seen. What? I’m dying! You think that’s funny?

  —You think there’s steak in Heaven?

  —Oh, I don’t know if I believe in Heaven.

  —You don’t know if you believe in Heaven, but you’re sure about the steak.

  —Yes. Do you have anything to say about that?

  —I…

  —Be very careful with the next words to come out of your mouth, Couture. You’re addressing a brigadier general in the Earth Defense Corps.

  —I hope it’s bloody as hell, sir.

  FILE NO. EE151—PERSONAL FILE FROM ESAT EKT

  Personal Journal Entry—Dr. Rose Franklin

  Location: Assigned residence, Etyakt regio
n

  They won’t do a thing. Eugene is dying, and the Ekt won’t lift a finger to help him. It’s against the rules. That’s not true. It might be against the rules. If the Council lets the Etyakt vote stand, then Eugene is a citizen, and they have to save his life. But they haven’t. They haven’t said anything, or done anything, in five years. I wrote to them. I wrote this long letter to the Council of Akyast, telling them we’d gladly accept our fate and stay here if it means saving our friend. Eugene told me not to send it. He said it was a waste of time. I didn’t care, of course. I gave the letter to Enatast this morning. I could tell he was uncomfortable. I found out Eugene had given him an even longer letter asking, begging the council to let him die. I can’t believe how stubborn that man is.

  We’re not as close as we used to be, but he’s still my friend. I won’t let him have the last word on this one, not if it means losing him. The Ekt won’t save him, but they also won’t stop me from doing it. I just need to cure cancer.

  It sounds insane, but I think I know how to do it, sort of, on paper. Targeted therapy. We were making progress with the idea when we left Earth, developing drugs that target specific DNA mutations. That’s just what cancer is. Cells accumulate certain mutations over time and become more and more disconnected from all the mechanisms that are supposed to regulate them, including those that tell the cell to kill itself. At some point they stop caring completely and begin to divide uncontrollably. If I can identify the mutations responsible for Eugene’s cancer, and target the right cells…I know it’s easier said than done—humans have been trying to do just that for decades—but I’m certain it can be done here. They’ve done it. I’ve seen it.

  The weapon they used against us on Earth did just that. It targeted certain DNA strands and made the cells do something that triggered an immune response against them. It’s like an airport sniffer dog. It can be trained to find different things—fruit, drugs, explosives. I need to train mine to find cancer and do the same thing it did on Earth. If I can get the same immune response, but only with cancer cells, Eugene’s body will cure itself, theoretically.