Home Tears

  Jeffries waited till Jonah glanced to where Mae had disappeared before winking at Dani. “That’s the one.”

  Dani glared at him, knowing she took a seat purposely in the shadows. If Jonah fully looked around, he would’ve seen her and maybe recognized her, but he was more interested in Mae. Feeling a knot start to tighten in her stomach, Dani knew it was time to head out to the cabin. Jonah would have more questions if he spotted her and she was still hoping to put off giving those answers.

  “What was her name?”

  “I dunno. Didn’t talk much, but Mae thought the sun set around that girl. She went in a slump for a good few months after that girl took off.”

  Dani stiffened again.

  “Yeah, I remember that. Whole town was in an uproar because Erica and that guy started hooking up. No one seemed to like that couple,” Jonah murmured, his voice slightly distracted.

  And that was enough. It was time to go. Dani slid off her barstool. No one noticed as she made her way to the door, and just as her hand reached to open it, she heard Jeffries say, “It’s a damn shame, too. Mae was hoping that girl would come back for the youngest’s funeral. When she didn’t show, Mae fell apart for a few months. That girl broke Mae’s heart.”

  She stood frozen, her hand still on the doorknob and she looked back. Jeffries was staring right at her.

  She hadn’t realized…

  Ten minutes later, Dani pulled up outside Mae’s cabin.

  Small and nestled among the trees, it looked like a fresh coat of white paint had recently been applied. Dani didn’t go inside right away. First things first. The lake beckoned to her and after pocketing the hidden key from behind the grill, she went straight for it. Conflicting emotions were inside her, but she nudged them aside again. No matter her damned history, she still yearned to be around water. The dock looked like a rag tag line of wood, all thrown together, but she was surprised to find out how sturdy it was.

  Mae had been taking care of this place.

  Dani was still sitting there when she heard a car approaching. Standing, she walked back around the cabin, and had another shock in store. She thought maybe Mae came behind her with food, or even Julia heard about her and tracked her down. She was wrong on both accounts.

  A police cruiser was parked beside the Mustang. There were two men sitting in the front, but she couldn’t tear her eyes away from the driver. Sitting there, in a crisp uniform was the other reason why she left town.

  Jake Cairns.

  Her best friend from childhood. Her middle school crush. Her boyfriend in high school. He was her other half, until he chose her younger sister over her. Now he was a cop, and he was with her other sister, too—the one who was still alive, anyway.

  “Hey, Jake.”

  She supposed it was now or never. She had hoped to put off seeing him, just like everyone else, but maybe it was better to deal with him now. Deal with her sister later.

  “Dani,” he rasped out, stopping a few feet from her. The blood had drained from his face and he looked like he just saw a ghost.

  “How’s it going, Jake?”

  Dani felt stupid saying those words, but what else could she ask? He was her ex. He chose her sister over her. He ripped her heart out, but he was also the only thing keeping her in Craigstown. In a way, she should thank him. He let her go free, and what a journey she had been on. Then again, remembering the reason why she was home, maybe she should curse him out too. This new heartache, this numbness she was experiencing—she wouldn’t have any of that.

  She suddenly felt herself wanting to ask how life would’ve been if he hadn’t chosen Erica? Would she have stayed? Would they have married? Maybe they even would’ve had kids by now. She sucked in her breath, feeling an invisible knife plunge into her chest.

  Maybe she shouldn’t be thinking about any of those things, and needing to change her thoughts, her eyes trailed past his shoulders, landing right onto Jake’s companion’s laughing eyes. Jonah Bannon.

  Fuck.

  As if he could read her mind, his mouth twisted up in a smirk. He remained back with the car, but she saw the challenge in his dark eyes. He wasn’t going anywhere.

  She sighed. She could already tell he was going to be a problem.

  Jake shifted on his feet, pulling her attention back to him. “I didn’t believe it. Jonah told me he thought you were back, but damn.” He could only stare at her. “Dani.”

  That one word, one name from him. Her heart twisted. It was the same soft tone he used when they were kids, right as he kissed her lips and moved to her neck. She clenched her jaw. Maybe she shouldn’t have come back after all?

  He kept going, his hand at his jaw. He just held it there, like he didn’t know what else to do with it. “Julia knows you’re back.” His hand fell back to his side. “I didn’t mean to tell her, not till I saw you myself, but she was on the other line when Jonah found me. She overheard.” He paused, his lips pressed together. “You can’t stay at the house, if that’s what you were thinking. Then again,” he turned to take in the cabin, “I can see you liking this place better. You always did, didn’t you?”

  “Jake.” She didn’t want to talk about Julia, or that he remembered she loved this cabin more than her home. “Why’d you come here? Did Mae tell you I was here?”

  “Nah. It was a guess.” He seemed to remember Jonah, and looked back, but focused on her once again. His eyebrows pinched together, like he was distracted. “You never called, when Erica died. Did you know? I thought maybe you’d come for the funeral.”

  She didn’t want to talk about it, but she heard herself say faintly, “I knew.”

  “So you just didn’t care?”

  It wasn’t that. It was… she didn’t want to think about it.

  “Jake…”

  She didn’t want to remember when she found out.

  “No.” He held up a hand. “I didn’t mean to attack you. That’s not why I came out here, but uh,” his hand grabbed the back of his neck and remained there, “I should let you know that Julia’s got a lot on her plate. Kathryn’s in the nursing home now. Did you know that?” He didn’t let her respond, speaking to himself, “No, I suppose you wouldn’t, but Julia’s got too much going on. I don’t think she can handle seeing you right now. Her Aunt Kathryn either.”

  Dani had no plans of seeing either, but she couldn’t help herself. “My Aunt Kathryn.”

  “What?”

  “She’s my aunt too.”

  “Oh.” A wrinkled line in his forehead increased. His eyebrows pinched even harder against each other. “Yeah. Yeah. I know.”

  And then suddenly, as quick as the fight came to her, it left her in one sudden whoosh. She was tired, all the way down to her bones. She didn’t know another time in her life when she’d been this exhausted. She knew there’d be a time when she and Jake should talk. They never did, not after he told her he was leaving her for Erica, and she took off the very next day, but that time wasn’t today. It wasn’t now.

  “Look, Jake.” He lifted his head, finding her. She added, “You go back and let Julia know that I got her message.” It was better if Julia thought she was adhering to her command, and not that she was staying away because Dani didn’t want to see Julia or Kathryn. Julia was just one of those people. It was her way, not someone else’s, but Dani didn’t want that fight on her doorstep either. “I’ll stay away.”

  “That’s it?” Jake frowned.

  She shrugged. “What else do you want me to say?”

  “I don’t know. I just—” He cut himself off. “You’re right. Maybe there’s nothing else to say.” He clipped his head in a nod, returning to his car. “I’ll let Julia know. I’ll tell her you send your best to her too.” He was at the car. She went with him, and he reached for the door handle. Jonah had moved. Dani didn’t see him, but she knew he was around. She could almost feel his presence, but she was focused on this ghost from her past.

  “Jake—”

  She didn’t know what
to say. There wasn’t anything, not at that moment anyway. It was too soon.

  He ignored her and said instead, still turned toward the car with his back to her, “I best be going now, Dani. I’ll let Julia know you’re okay with staying out here.”

  “Thank you.” She nodded.

  He opened his door, but suddenly looked back up at her. “Where’ve you been these ten years, Dani?”

  Why are you back now? That was the unspoken question in the air.

  She didn’t answer. She didn’t want to and she couldn’t find the words anyway. Jake waited a beat, but when there was no response, he didn’t look surprised. He got inside, started the engine, and pulled out of the driveway.

  There was an extra heaviness on her heart, but ignoring it, she turned for the cabin and there he was. Leaning against her door, Jonah Bannon flashed her that smirk again and dropped his arms that had been crossed over his chest. His hands slid into his pockets and a dimple in his right cheek winked at her. “Now, about that Mustang of yours…”

  “No.” Dani shook her head. “Why were you with him, anyway?”

  He laughed. “When he heard you were here and he was coming with or without me. I just hitched a ride.”

  “It was a wasted trip.” She stepped around him and pulled out the key. Unlocking the door, she stepped inside, but turned around to block him from following her. She placed a hand against the doorframe. “You should’ve gone back with Jake, because I’m not letting you in.”

  “Are you serious? I just want to—”

  “I remember you from school, but that doesn’t mean I know you. And I’m not talking about my car. It’s not for sale and no, you can’t take it for a ride if you were going to ask.” She jerked her chin up, indicating behind him. “If I remember right, it’s a long walk from here to your place. You should get going if you want to get home before dark.”

  Then she shut the door, locked it, and forgot about him, or tried to forget about it. She didn’t really. He was in the back of her mind, but what she said had been true. She didn’t know Jonah Bannon. She didn’t owe him anything either. He wanted her car, that was obvious, but it wasn’t until she got ready for bed that she started wondering if she’d been too hard on him. He came into the bar asking questions and not respecting the answers he was getting. He was like a tornado, but she had enough of those storms in her. She could only handle one at a time, and lying in bed, she hoped some of them were staying at bay.

  She needed to sleep. Badly.

  It was the screams first.

  Then the babies started crying.

  People running. It was so silent, but those footsteps. They were pounding on the pavement. People were rushing for their lives, and then an eerie moment of silence, and the water came down.

  Gasping, Dani jerked awake. She moved to the edge of the bed and dragged in some air. Deep breaths. One in. One out. In. Out. She kept going, her eyes closed, and waited for her body to remember. She was safe. She wasn’t there.

  Safe.

  I’m safe.

  Dani could still hear the sirens in the distance, and she flinched, gritting her teeth.

  “Hell.” Dani cursed, catching a glimpse of the clock. Three in the morning. She’d gotten five hours of sleep. It had been almost three months since she had a full night’s sleep.

  She’d been given a card for times like this. If the nightmares kept coming, she’d need to talk. But that was the problem. Dani didn’t talk unless it was necessary, but her hand still reached for her purse and pulled out the card. The number was bold and black, emblazoned for easy reading.

  “You’ve been through an awful and horrible event in your life. You’ll need help, and when you want it, it’s there, Dani.”

  Fuck that. She’d get through this, like she got through everything else. Crumpling up the card, she stuffed it back in her purse. She stretched her neck, kneading the sore muscles there, and moved to the kitchen to get a bottle of water.

  As she opened it and took a sip, she heard another voice in her head. This one was a dark baritone, and he’d only been trying to help her. “I’m here if you decide to stop running. I’ll always love you. You know that, but I can’t keep following you around.”

  Her hand twitched now, spilling water into the sink.

  Her eyes caught sight of her bare finger and she held still. She couldn’t look away. That man, that voice—he hadn’t asked for what she did to him. Shame hung her head, but then she put the water away and glanced at the clock. Mae would probably still be awake.

  A drive to Mae’s Grill would help clear the nightmare from her mind.

  After dressing, she headed out, but coming to the main highway, she let the car sit and idle a second. Just over the ditch, running alongside the highway was the town’s livelihood.

  Falls River.

  It encompassed their entire state and wound its way through the next two and into Canada. Most of the workers who settled in Craigstown worked at the dam, not far north. It kept their town with food and fuel. And life. Many nights she remembered jumping off a certain bridge, not three miles from Mae’s place.

  Tenderfoot Rush was a bridge where everyone, every teen and every adult, had jumped off naked, dressed, or in swim trunks. Everyone did it. It was the favored pastime of the summer. If you couldn’t find anyone in town, and it was over 100 percent humidity, just check Tenderfoot Rush. They were always there. The place was built on memories—from everyone. And so many decided to make the trek to Mae’s Grill, just three miles south. Many tubing trips started at Tenderfoot Rush and pulled out at Mae’s Grill.

  There were still a few cars in the parking lot when she got there, and she heard yelling from inside as she opened the door. “Barney, get the hell out of here before I do something I’ll regret. You hear me?!”

  “Aw, come on, Mae. I don’t got nowhere to sleep tonight. Can’t drive. You made sure of that when you took my keys.”

  “I don’t care. It’s not my problem. If you get annihilated and think I’ll let you drive out of here, just inviting a lawsuit against my bar—you’re a fool. You drink, that means you’re not driving, but you’re still not my problem. Now get out of here!”

  “But, Mae.” He was slumped on his stool at the bar when Dani went inside. “I don’t have anyone to call.”

  Mae slapped a towel on the counter. “Don’t make me call that future nephew-in-law of mine. He’ll arrest you.”

  “But I don’t got no place to sleep, Mae.” He whined again, settling his forehead on the counter again. He snorted. “Yeah, you call your nephew. He’s marrying the side of family that don’t want you around.”

  Barney had a death wish.

  A second later his words penetrated his skull. His head jerked back up with wide eyes, and his cheeks lost color. “Oh, gosh—I didn’t mean… Mae, that didn’t come out right. I’m sorry—”

  “You. Get. Out. Now.” Her hands wrapped around the towel and she was wringing it, envisioning it was his neck.

  “I’s going, Mae. I didn’t mean nothing by what I’s just said. I mean it, Mae. I speak without a brain. I’m sorry, Mae.” He made a scramble for the door. He turned back and opened his mouth, but nothing came out when he saw Dani standing just inside the door.

  Mae heard his pause and turned, too.

  “She sure is purrty, Mae.”

  Mae threw a bottle at him, which he ducked. It shattered against the wall, and Barney was out the door in a flash.

  Mae’s chest was heaving. Her nostrils flared. “Every damn night it’s the same thing over and over. I’m getting tired of it. He needs help.” She began wiping the counter, her hand moving in quick, savage circles.

  Dani remained in one spot. She was still so damned tired, but she was thankful her aunt wasn’t paying her much attention. She was still cursing under her breath. Dani tried to warm her hands and rubbed at her cheeks. She looked in the mirror before she left, and knew she looked like a ghost. She could still feel the nightmares. They clung t
o her like a wet blanket, but she needed to get rid of them. She needed to look alive when Mae really focused on her again. After hearing what Barney said, Dani was thinking she needed to be the one there for her aunt and not the other way around.

  Mae was grumbling. “I should just make Jake kick him out of town. Barney don’t got no family here, and he doesn’t have a job. He’s got nothing. Jake could take him out of town in his cruiser and let him hitchhike to the next town. He’s got a soft spot for him.” She kept going. Her hand moved faster and faster.

  “Mae.”

  “No.” Mae shook her head. “No, girl. You sit and help yourself to some coffee. I brewed a fresh batch not long ago. It takes all my energy to argue with that damn drunk. He’s so stubborn, but no more. He always says he won’t be a problem if I let him have the