Home Tears

  river. Jonah followed it back to their base headquarters. It stood on stilts, just in case the river rose to dangerous levels, but it was high enough up to outlast any flash floods.

  Anyone who was still drunk was sober by the time they reached their destination.

  Each boat was clamped into place, and everyone scrambled off the unsteady surface for sure footing. As everyone filed in, they were met with dry blankets.

  Dani tapped on Jonah’s arm. “Mae?”

  His hand grasped hers. “I called when I was looking through the house. She’s safe.”

  “Oh.” A wave of relief washed over her. “Thank you.”

  “I should’ve told you right away. Sorry. Hey.” She began to move in, but he tugged her closer to him. “Everyone’s going to be sleeping in the atrium, but we can sleep in my office. It’ll be a little more comfortable.”

  “And not offer such fine luxuries to everyone else?”

  “We’re going to be sharing with my sister, her husband, and probably Kate.” He skimmed over the group. “I think Robbie is inside, too. That should be interesting.”

  “Does Trenton have an office?”

  “Yeah. Why?”

  “I’d like Boone to stay there, and Jake and Julia.” At his questioning glance, she shrugged. “Family stands for something.”

  “I’ll talk to Trent, but I’m sure Hawk already called dibs on whichever place is the most private. He’s got his eye on someone here.”

  “Why am I not surprised?”

  He squeezed her hand once more, but a man approached, saying, “Jonah.” And he was off, becoming the leader he already was. That wave of relief was replaced with pride. It was a group effort to get everything together and going, but once the boat showed up, everything could’ve fallen apart. It hadn’t, and that was because of Jonah. Everyone trusted him. They listened to him, and when he said it would be alright, they believed him. Dani knew people were scared, but no one panicked. That was so vital in situations like this.

  That was Jonah, all Jonah.

  She smiled, her body warming as she watched him talking to a bunch of official-looking people, then she headed inside. Aiden stood with Bubba and Robbie in one corner.

  Aiden greeted her, pulling her in for a hug. “Here’s Chimp One to Flamingo Two.”

  Dani hugged her back. “Where’s Kate?”

  “Doing police-type work. She and Jake both took off right away.”

  Robbie said, “She was supposed to look for coffee while she was at it. I hope she brings some back for us.”

  “Maybe us, but probably not you.”

  Robbie didn’t ask for any explanation. He didn’t need one. “I broke up with Lori tonight. That’s why I wasn’t at the party.”

  Aiden tilted her head to the side. “You should’ve done it before tonight.”

  Bubba promptly hit him on the back of his head.

  “Hey!” Robbie rubbed behind his head.

  “There’s a reason why you were named Baboon,” Aiden pointed out.

  “For my hot ass?”

  “For being an ass.”

  Dani caught sight of Jake with Julia and took a deep breath. “I’ll be right back.”

  “May the force be with you,” Aiden remarked.

  “No doubt,” Dani murmured underneath her breath, but she put on a brave face as they turned and watched her approach. She asked Jake, “Did you win?”

  “There wasn’t a winner. We were waiting for Jonah to come back, and,” he gazed around, “you know how that went.”

  Julia asked, “What do you want?”

  Dani ignored the cutting tone from her sister. “You guys can sleep in Trenton’s office with whoever else he puts in there. I asked if Boone and Jenny could be in there, too.”

  Julia looked ready with a sharp retort, but at Dani’s words, her eyes rounded. She swallowed, and then only murmured, “Oh.” Spying Jenny in the corner, she moved away from Jake. “I’m going to let them know.”

  There was no thanks, nothing, as she left them. Dani knew not to expect any. She didn’t even feel any was warranted. It wasn’t her office.

  “So,” Jake breathed out, “your ex-fiancé walked away from our game before.”

  “I know.”

  “I’m trying not to wonder what that was about.” Jake chuckled. “But, it’s not working.”

  “It had nothing to do with you.”

  “I’m aware of that.”

  Dani stiffened. “What do you want?”

  “That’s just like you. You immediately go on the defensive.”

  “Jake.”

  “No, forget it. I was trying. Friends, right?”

  Any guard she had up, thinking he was going in for another attack, lowered. Only halfway, though. She saw he meant what he said, and she rolled her eyes. “I hate you sometimes.”

  “I know.” He lifted his arms in the air and motioned between them. “Can we hug it out?”

  “What’s Julia going to say?”

  “Eh, she can moan or cry, but she knows I love her. She can’t get rid of me.” He pulled her in for a hug. “I gotta say, you looked good with that flamingo on your head tonight. You should wear it more often. Visit Kathryn with it. Give it to her as a gift.”

  Dani touched the top of her head. She forgot about Fancy Nancy, but it wasn’t there. She frowned. She already missed it. “I wouldn’t force a Kathryn visit on any inanimate object.”

  “Only inanimate objects?” Jake joked. “The animate objects are just fine?”

  “Well, yeah. They’re animated. They can withstand the Kathryn Glower.”

  “Because they’re animated?”

  “They’re jaunty and they dance and they stand still enough to feel the full power of Kathryn’s Glower.” And it felt weird to be laughing with Jake again.

  “Jaunty?”

  “Jaunty.”

  Jake looked thoughtful. “You know what else is jaunty?”

  “What?” This was her old best friend. She didn’t remember the moment when they moved from best friend to more than that, but this was him again. She missed him. She missed this.

  “The Chapel of Love.” He nudged her arm with his. “Right? Am I right?”

  Dani laughed loudly, she couldn’t contain it. “I’ve forgotten. You broke the radio when that song came on. Remember? That stupid thing went off, and you got so mad, you threw a rock at it.”

  “Well, yeah, because we were in the middle of being—” Intimate. Jake shut up. “Oh.”

  Dani coughed. “Uh, Aiden’s probably looking for me.”

  “Yeah.” Jake nodded.

  Dani turned and left, but Jake caught her arm. “Maybe not now, but some day I’d like to be friends again. I mean that.”

  “Me, too.” She went to look for Aiden, but she meant it. She hoped one day she and Jake could be friends again. Not best friends. That was too far again, but maybe family instead?

  She joined Aiden and Bubba. Kate was there, too, glaring at Robbie, whose head was hanging down. Jonah came up at the same time. Everyone straightened to attention. He touched the small of Dani’s back, saying, “Everything’s ready. You guys can bunker down in my office. There should be cots in there, too.”

  “What about you?” Aiden asked her brother.

  He met Dani’s eyes. “Save me a place, but I’m going to be up for a while.”

  The rest nodded and filtered off.

  Dani touched his chest. “Is everything okay?”

  Bags had formed under his eyes, and he raked a hand through his hair. “To be honest, there’s no good way for me to answer that so, get a good’s night sleep. For me.” He dropped a kiss on her lips, and before he would’ve moved away, she caught his face. She held him there, just a moment longer. She pressed against him, wanting him to know she cared. She was there for him. He hesitated, just a moment, then he answered back. His lips became hard over her, almost claiming and draining her at the same time. He pulled back, breathing a little heavy, and rest
ed his forehead to hers. “I’m going to slip away tonight, but it’s not looking good.”

  “You don’t want to tell me what’s wrong?”

  He hesitated. “I do. I just can’t.” He brushed a kiss over her cheek, stepping back. “I mean it. Get a good night’s sleep, if you can. Don’t worry about me.”

  But she would. He knew that, too. She watched him go. Trenton met him halfway, and their heads bent together. Hawk joined their group, and a deep frown formed over Jonah’s face. Something was going on. Something she was going to have to make Jonah tell her, but later. He wasn’t ready to break protocol yet.

  Instead of heading to Jonah’s office, Dani grabbed a blanket. She went to a bathroom and tried to dry off as much as possible, then she wandered the back halls of Jonah’s headquarters. She wasn’t moving to a specific target, but she found herself at the freshwater tank. The tank ran the entire wall of the room. It circled around how the river wound along their town and their lands. It was an exact replica of Falls River. And Dani saw the black mussels she helped finance. There were a few real ones sitting in the water. One opened.

  A grey pearl was nestled in the sand dirt.

  “So this is what your boyfriend does.” Julia cleared her throat from the doorway, and Dani’s momentary amazement vanished. She looked around, her gaze falling on the tank and then zeroing in where Dani had been looking. Julia chewed at her lip. “Those are mussels?”

  “Yeah.”

  “They’re ugly.”

  “Of course, you’d judge them on their appearance.”

  “I’m just saying they’re ugly. They are.”

  Dani was tired. Dealing with her sister was the last thing she wanted. She pulled her blanket tighter around her. “What do you want, Julia?”

  Julia ran a hand through her soaked hair. She had a blanket draped around her, too, but her hand fell away from holding it closed over her. She propped it on her hip and made sure to drill Dani with her eyes. “Stay away from Jake. I saw you guys hugging before. You have a boyfriend. Leave mine alone.”

  “You’ve already tried this trick. It didn’t take. Also, get the facts straight. Your boyfriend hugged me. He was trying to put everything behind us.”

  “Just stay away. I saw the awkwardness.” Her eyes flashed in anger. “You want facts? Here are the facts. Jake loves me. He is with me. All true, but he still holds a torch for you. And before you get a big head, it’s not really you you. It’s his past transgressions. He feels a whole ton of guilt about leaving you for Erica, and that was why you left. It’s that issue that he can’t get over, but since he can’t deal with that, he’s trying to reconnect with you. It won’t work. He’s just going to end up trying to hook up with you, and even if you don’t, he’ll hate himself all over again. I know he loves me, but he feels guilt about you and Erica, too. That’s why I want you to stay away from him. For his good, your good, and my good.”

  Dani was so tired of it. All of it. “Just stop. You’re being dramatic.” She felt like years were just taken from her. Maybe it was the night, or the last month, or maybe it was everything. “Go away, Julia. Go away.”

  “You’re such a—never mind.” Julia moved toward the door, but stopped short and whirled back. “You could have called. Just once. You could’ve told us you were alive, but you didn’t. That was your choice. And that shows me how much you cared. So, why should I be all ‘welcome home, sister-who-doesn’t-give-a-shit-about-me’?”

  “Kathryn knew I was going.”

  “Yeah, well.” Julia crossed her arms over her chest. “Kathryn can be a manipulative bitch at times.”

  Dani’s head reared back an inch.

  “What? Like that’s news? We both know what she’s like.”

  “Yeah, but.” Wow. Just wow. She never thought Julia would admit that.

  Julia turned back, but stopped again. “You get on your high horse about how you’ve been the one left out. Like we did it on purpose, but it wasn’t us, Dani. You pulled away. You pulled away from everyone, even Mae. No one connected to you—”

  “I never felt a part of the family.”

  “Because you put yourself there. We’d be downstairs, and you would go up to your room. You never stayed and spent time with us. What were we supposed to do? You know,” disdain dripped from her voice, “it’s pretty pitiful that I’ve gotten to know you through my fiancé.” She wiped at a tear. “And I think it’s pathetic that you haven’t visited your own aunt in the nursing home.”

  “She wouldn’t see me if I did go there,” Dani countered. “And you know that. Why would I volunteer for that humiliation?”

  Julia waved that off. “How do you know Kathryn would turn you away?”

  “Because she’s a manipulative bitch!”

  “She’s dying. She’s already lost a niece. I’d like her to feel as if she’s been given one back before she goes.” Julia let the tears slide down. “She—I thought I was going to be the last one.”

  “What?”

  “I thought—” Julia gulped back the tears, but whispered, “I thought I was the last one. Erica died. We were sure you were, too. I knew Kathryn was dying, and Mae doesn’t care about me. I thought I was going to be alone.” She sniffled, using the blanket to wipe her tears away. “I still think that at times, so forgive me for being angry when you came back. You expected the welcome wagon, but I’m sorry. You don’t deserve it—”

  “Julia.”

  “—shut up.” She turned away. “Just, shut up.”

  “What do you want from me?” Dani cried out.

  “I can’t touch what you had with him! Okay?” Julia yelled, her hands raised next to her head. “I can’t touch what you had with him, and I can’t touch what he had with Erica. I can’t be either of you two.”

  Dani quieted. “What are you talking about?”

  “It was supposed to have been Erica.” A sniffle. “It was supposed to have been Erica who had his children. He loved her, not me. He loved you, Erica, but he never loved me.”

  “Julia, you can’t be Erica. You and Jake are you and Jake. It’s not Jake and Erica. It’s not even Jake and me. You’re you. You’re different. Jake’s with you because of you. He asked you to share the rest of your lives together. He loves you.”

  She shook her head, whispering, “Not like he loved you. Not like he loved her.” Her hand formed a fist. She pressed it against her chest. “I can’t be either of you two. I just can’t do it.”

  “Julia.” That’s what she’d been thinking? All this time? “You’re going to be his wife. You’re going to have his children. What I had with him was in our past. We were children. You’ll have children with him. Don’t you get that?”

  Tears fell from Julia, and so did a wall to Dani. She could see her sister in a new way, where she saw the hurts and pains. She saw her vulnerability, too. Dani pulled her sister into her arms. “He loves you, Julia. I know he does.”

  “He loves you.”

  “He and I were together our entire childhood and through high school. Julia. A person doesn’t stop loving someone when the break-up happens. It takes a long time and I’d hope that Jake would always love me.” She grasped Julia’s face, a hand to both sides, and said fiercely, “But he’s not in love with me. He’s in love with you.”

  “He loved Erica.” Julia broke down again. “I can’t be Erica for him and sometimes I think he wants me to be her. I don’t laugh like she does or make the same jokes. I don’t even cook like her. I’m a good cook. Erica was awful, and I feel like Jake wants me to burn the lasagna. I don’t want to burn the lasagna.”

  Dani couldn’t contain a laugh. Erica had burned, destroyed, or exploded anything she baked and cooked. Julia had been awarded championships for baked goods eight years in a row. She probably still did.

  “You shouldn’t have to burn your lasagna. You have really good lasagna.”