Love Locked Down
“ Shut -up!” Dana laughed. “ I do look a wreck. I know you're trying to get me to laugh...it's not working.”she said flopping down on Tamera's leopard print chaise lounge.
“ I don't care if you laugh or not. It's true.”
I knew I was cute and had a killer shape. Niggas on the block had been letting me know that since I was fourteen. Hell it was partly the reason my brother was locked up now. Trying his hardest to protect me from the guys around the neighborhood and wanting me to keep my head in the books instead of being up in some random niggas face all the time. It was hard though. Sometimes I craved attention. Always had and even though I'd grown to treasure my friendship with Dana, I craved it even more now that the majority of the male attention was targeted towards Dana. And she didn't even want it! Dana was so down to earth and unaware of her beauty that I always felt at ease around her unlike some other females. Dana was without a doubt competition, but she really wasn't only because if you weren't talking about how she could get her designs seen,she didn't have much use for you. At one point I even wondered if she was a lesbian? Who knows. Time will tell I guess.
I think she'd gone on a date once in the near two years I'd known her. She claimed she loved men but I couldn't tell the way she always has her nose in a fashion magazine.
Dana had long,thick naturally dark brown hair that grazed her mid-back. Accented with lighter auburn and blonde highlights...courtesy of her favorite drugstore brand of hair coloring. Dana's eyes were the draw. Bright emerald green eyes that seemed to sparkle. After becoming closer to Dana ,I discovered just how irritated she got answering questions about her eyes. Both of her birth parents had a much darker skin-tone than her own honey brown complexion. Dana tired of the questions about her heritage. Her favorite answer to anyone asking was “ No I'm not mixed. Just plain old black over here. Is that a problem?”
“ Dana don't worry okay. We're going to come up with something. I promise.” Just as the words escaped my lips the phone rang. I hurried to answer.
“You have a collect call from Sampson State Penitentiary inmate Terrence Hill. Do you accept these charges?” the automated attendant asked.
“ Yes!” I answered quickly,pressing the button to accept the call. I covered the mouth-piece of the phone.
“ Dana wait for me in the living-room okay. This is my brother Terrence calling and I really need to talk to him about something important.”
“ Oh! Of course. What do you have to eat? All this crying has me starving.” Dana said laughing and leaving the room walking towards the hall.
“ Hey sis how are you?”
“ I'm fine. You sound better than the last time we spoke which is good. Are you feeling better?” I asked concern for my brothers well being was first and foremost on my mind. Today.
“ Aye girl,don't worry about that. I think I'm just getting antsy about getting these last few months done. It's been long and I'm ready for it to be over.” Terrence said. Terrence could tell by Tamera's voice she was worried and that's the last thing he wanted was her to be concerned about him.
“ How's mom? I'm looking forward to seeing you guys this weekend.”
“ Mom is mom. Enough said on that you already know the deal. Terrence I'm bringing someone with me to the visit on Saturday. I need you to put her on the list. Her name is Dana Majors. She'll be with me not Mom so make sure she's on the list okay?” I decided it would be best to ask for the loan in person. With Dana there instead of over the phone where I knew for sure the answer would be no.
“ Who the hell is she and why the hell is she coming here with you to see me?” Terrence asked suspiciously.
“ You've seen her before she's in a ton of the pictures I've sent you with me. The black girl,green eyes,gorgeous. How could you over look her in the pictures?” I asked laughing.
“ I think I know who you're talking about . I'll put her on the list. It's early enough it shouldn't be a problem.”
We chatted a while longer before an operator interrupted saying our time was coming to an end. I was happy about the conversation. Terrence sounded in better spirits and I hoped he stayed that way considering what I was planning to ask him for this coming Saturday.
* * * *
4. Visiting Day
Terrence
“Hill,do you have visitors today?” Marquise my cell-mate asked.
“ Yeah my sister is coming up today and she's bringing her friend I guess. I don't really know what that's about. She wants me to meet her though so I put her name on the list.”
“ Oh yeah? She fine?” Marquise asked grinning “ Y'all doing one of those bathroom visits?”
“ Man please shut your ass up!” I said laughing. It was no secret that a lot of the guards would turn their heads the other way during visiting hour. For the right price. Being one of Jamel's top soldiers on the outside granted me certain privileges on the inside. No one had fucked with me at all during the year I'd been locked up. Though that didn't mean I was going to let any muthafucka in here catch me slipping. Ever. It was prison and the men in here would turn on your ass for a pack of Ramen noodles and a honey-bun if they got hungry enough. I just made it a habit to stay below the radar and not flaunt shit in their faces. Sleeping with one eye open had become normal for me.
It had been working for a little over a year. With any luck I'd be out sooner. My lawyer had visited me earlier that week and said with my good behavior we could petition the judge for early release. I didn't want to say anything to Tamera or our mom until it was a sure thing. Tamera was taking me being locked up harder than I was at times it seemed but my baby sister didn't have me fooled like she thought. I knew I'd created a spoiled monster in her. I knew she felt bad about my situation but as long as her lifestyle didn't change...she wasn't that broken up about what I was going through. I just decided to relax and wait until I knew something for sure. I didn't want to get anyone’s hopes up unnecessarily, mainly my own.
“ Hill let's go! You have visitors!” I heard a guard call out.
“ Okay man I'll get with you later.
* * * *
5. Meet Your Destiny
Dana
Tamera and I sat in the visitors room. I looked around nervously. I'd never been inside a prison before and wouldn't have had my ass in one now if Tamera hadn't begged me to come. Even though I wanted to say no, it was hard to turn Tamera down once she had her mind set on something. Peer pressure was a muthafucka. I still felt like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders. The last thing I was in the mood for was visiting my friends jailbird of a brother. I'd been unable to find any other avenues to secure the eight grand I needed for school. In the next week if something didn't pan out I'd just need to withdraw.
I was shy but I was damn near wondering how much I could make if I swung from somebodies pole for a few weeks. Yes, I was just that desperate.
“ Dana, are you nervous girl? I see you looking around all scared and shit!” Tamera said snickering.
“ Hell yeah! I've never been to see anyone in jail before. I really don't know why I'm here today. I know you and your brother are really close. Your visits with him always seem really private. I'm confused as to why I'm here with you today after almost two years of knowing you. You've never asked me to come before. What the hell is going on Tamera?” I asked.
“ Well about that...,” Tamera said clearing her throat “... the reason I insisted you come with me today was because I plan on asking my brother to loan you the money to pay your tuition.”
“WHAT?”
“ Bitch shut up before you get us put out this muthafucka! You heard me! You need it and I know he has it. So what's it going to hurt for us to ask him? It ain't like he's using it in here right? My brothers cool but he ain’t that cool if you know what I mean. I know he's going to have to look you in your face and meet you for him to even consider it. So don't start tripping on me now. This is our only option. I think if you had someone else to ask you would have done it already wouldn'
t you? Stay cool and use your feminine wiles on a nigga. At the end of the day he is just a man and he's been locked up over a year...,” Tamera paused. “.... wait a minute, with your ol' innocent ass. Dana please tell me you know how to string a nigga out.” Tamera asked cutting her eyes at me.
“ String a nigga out? What is that? I....,”
“ Bitch flirt! Please say you know how to at least flirt with a man. Lord have mercy. You should have just been born ugly. A bitch like you was born with all those looks and it's gone to waste on you.” Tamera said sucking her teeth.
My lips snapped shut. Shit. Would he actually help me? Flirt with him? I didn't even know him! I can't ask no strange ass man for eight thousand dollars. Can I? I'd never spoken or laid eyes on the guy at all outside of a few older pictures Tamera had shared with me.. I can't believe Tamera has me here at the prison asking for money from a dude that's locked up!
I groaned inside. How desperate can I be? Evidently VERY desperate. Bitch you was just thinking about stripping!
The room was crowded with kids,older people who I imagined were parents of the men locked up here and numerous women. So many women. The air stank of cheap perfume. Some women were wearing the absolute shortest skirts they could get away with in an effort to give their men some eye-candy to look at during the visit. All of a sudden the room got louder as the inmates started entering the room and looking for their loved ones. Tamera had insisted we get a particular table she liked near the window. It was slightly away from the others and afforded us a little more privacy. If you could actually call anywhere in a prison private.
“There he is!” Tamera cried jumping up excitedly “ Terrence! Over here!” she whisper-yelled waving her hands.
I looked over to where Tamera was waving and almost had a heart-attack on the spot. I swear on a stack of bibles my damn knees buckled.
DAMN! Get it together bitch, I thought to myself trying to quickly regain my composure before anyone noticed I'd ever lost it.
I guess all the fine men are in jail. Shit I didn't want to believe it. I thought it was a damn lie they were telling on black men but by the looks of the men in this visiting room alone and the man standing in my face...it's true. Terrence walked towards us with what I could only describe as swagger. He must have been 6'4, he was wearing the same orange outfit as everyone else but how can someone make a jailhouse uniform look so damn good ? All I could see were his muscular arms but his body looked massive. Not in an overdone body builder type of why but solid and thick. Where Tamera had a peanut butter brown complexion,Terrence was a deep smooth chocolate,his hair was cut low and tapered all around. As he got even closer I could then see he was the very male and masculine version of his sister.
The same deep-set dark brown eyes framed by the longest,thickest lashes I'd ever seen on a man. His eyes were framed by thick naturally sculpted brows. My eyes scanned his face until they landed on a pair of full defined lips. Damn! I wonder what that mouth do? I caught myself wondering. Jesus Christ what in the hell am I thinking? Completing his face as if it was the prized cherry on the top of a sundae was a slight cleft in his chin. Lord have mercy on my soul! My friends jailbird brother- who I need to ask for money from is fine as hell!
Terrence then had the nerve to smile and hug Tamera and two deep dimples jumped out at me. OH MY GOD!
The room suddenly felt hot to me. Damn, it was the dead of winter but I was sweating. This January heat was no joke!
“ Nice to meet you. I'm Terrence.” a deep,sexy baritone voice said jolting me out of my silent but thorough assessment of my friends brother. Instead of being in prison his ass needed to be on someones damn magazine cover. Modeling my designs. I wonder if he models?
“ Hello it's nice to finally meet you.” I said smiling trying my best not stare too hard. It was hard...damn hard not too!
“ Likewise. It's nice to to finally meet you after hearing so much about you over the last year. ” Terrence said trying not to look at his sister's friend too hard but it he was finding it difficult. The few pictures Terrence had seen of her did not do justice to the sista who was sitting in front of him at that very moment. Yes she was pretty in the pictures but the woman sitting in front of him right now was drop dead fucking gorgeous. She had the most beautiful eyes he'd ever seen. Damn. Is she finer to me because I haven't had a woman in a while? Nah fuck that, her ass is just fine.
Tamera wasn't stupid by any means. She could see the sparks flying between her brother and her best-friend right away. This is perfect. Hell this may make it easier for him to help her but I wont say it's a done deal yet. Tamera knew all too well how Terrence handled his money and his women. Through the years she'd befriended many girls who played at being her friend in order to get next to her brother Terrence.
“ Dana could you do me a favor and grab us some drinks from the vending machine please. I want a Coke, Terrence, a Sprite right?” Tamera asked.
“Yeah.” Terrence answered unable to take his eyes off Dana as she gathered her purse and walked to the vending machine area. Terrence noticed several male sets of eyes on her as well. For some reason it bothered him having the other men in the visiting area looking at her. Thirsty ass niggas. Let me not be too hard on them, some of these niggas ain't touched a woman in decades, Terrence quickly thought. This Dana chick is wearing the hell outta those jeans,he thought watching her walk towards the vending machines.
* * * *
6. Fair Exchange Is No Robbery
Terrence
“ So what is this little visit with your friend about Tamera? I know something is up. I've been trying to figure it out all week. What's really going on?”
“ Terrence first of all please,please don't be angry at her or me. All I did was tell Dana I wanted her to come with me today. She had no idea why I wanted her to come with me until right before you walked in. Since I know we don't have a lot of time and I couldn't say anything over the phone ...you know they be listening to our shit. Can Dana borrow eight thousand dollars for her school tuition?” Tamera quickly asked.
“ You brought your friend who I don't even know here to ask me for eight g's? Why the fuck would I give her eight grand? She's fine but that ain’t my woman. Where are her parents? Why the hell can't her family help her?”
“ Terrence don't be like that I know you have it …,”
“ Hold the fuck up. Tamera you're my sister and I love you but don't you ever fucking presume to know what I have or don't have. As far as you know I ain't got shit but what I give you. That's all the money I have and you take it from me faithfully every month. You willing to give it back so I can pay your friends bills? My money ain’t none of your damn business. All you need to know is that I take care of you and every financial need you have. I do it because I love you not because I'm obligated to do shit for you. I'm your brother not your man or your father. So you lucky you ain’t out here having to work and go to school at the same time.” I said hotly. I didn't want to totally go off on her and call any unwanted attention to us.
Money was one topic that had been steady on my mind since I'd been locked up. It was stressful maintaining my lifestyle behind bars. Shit I had things going on that my family knew nothing about. And I wanted it like that. This stint in jail had let me know beyond a shadow of a doubt that behind prison walls was was a place I never wanted to be again. Once I was released, I was walking away from the negative lifestyle I'd been living. Slowly but surely. The mere thought that my sister was sitting on the outside counting my money for me had me seeing red.
Tamera hung her head in shame. Terrence was right. He'd always taken care of her and their mom. If it wasn't for him she'd be standing in Dana's shoes or worse. She had no right asking him to take on anyone else's burdens. When in all actuality she was one of his burdens before he was even a man. Even though he'd never say it. Right down to the fact he was sitting in prison right now for protecting her. Terrence had warned her to stay away from Cordell and she hadn't listened. When he becam
e violent and began stalking her just like Terrence warned her he would, Terrence had to come to her rescue.
“ Look I didn't mean to go off on you. I know you're just trying to help your friend. She's coming back now. When she gets here you go over and get some snacks from the machine. Take your time so I can talk to her.” I said mulling the idea of giving a total stranger a dime. Part of the reason I'd been so quiet as of late was I'd been thinking about my life and what I wanted to do with myself once I was released. Now that Tamera would be graduating soon, I felt like a huge burden was being lifted from my shoulders. I felt like I was finally done raising a child and I didn't even have any damn kids. I was still young. At 26 it was time to live my life and I was going to do just that.
I'd provided Tamera with an education and it was sad to say, but my mother was going to be on her own. The days of drinking her life away on my dime were over. I'd paid for four rehab centers and I was tired of trying to help a woman who didn't want help. Even if she was my mother. I'd been taking care of other people like a man since I was a fifteen year old boy. I was tired of it. I had enough money tucked away to make a clean start and as soon as I was released, I was going to live my life for me. They better get ready because my pockets are about to be on lock.
“ Here you go! Damn you would think those vending machines were dispensing Ciroc and Patron' the way they were pushing and shoving to get at them! Two dollars for a damn soda? They know damn well that's highway robbery for a daggone soda!” Dana said laughing as she sat down at the table sliding the drinks in their directions.
I looked up at this Dana and was struck silent for a second. Damn this prison got me off my square for real. It ain't like I ain't been in the presence of a bad bitches before. Dana's smile alone had me feeling a way I couldn't quite put my finger on. It was like I wanted her smile to be just for me.
“ I'm going to get us some snacks.” Tamera said getting up.
“ Oh I'm good. I don't want anything to eat.” Dana said taking a sip of her soda.