Love Locked Down

  I sat there shocked. Outside of Janay, we were as close as friends could be. Surely Tamera didn't think I was going to marry someone...her brother none the less, and go out and what? Date other men? Sleep with other men? I had more respect for what Terrence and I were trying to build whether Tamera knew about it or not. Even though I kept my business with Terrence to myself,it still hurt me to hear Tamera talk about her brother that way. As if she didn't care about his feelings or have his back fully while he was locked down.

  I prayed I was just overreacting but lately some of the comments Tamera made really had me feeling some type of way. The comments flying out of her mouth were rude as hell. Unbeknownst to Tamera, the only reason I wasn't checking her left and right was because she was my sister-in-law ! This bitch didn't even realize the only reason we hadn't damn near come to blows as of late was because of my according to her “ flim-flam” of a marriage.

  Yes we'd been the best of friends the last two years but it had been smooth sailing between us. We'd never had so much as an argument. I honestly didn't know how much longer that would last. Then this ex- boyfriend of hers just recently stepped on the scene...Cordell something or other. The nigga gave me the creeps every time I ran into him over at Tamera's place. Needless to say my visits to her house have become less frequent.

  When Terrence and I agreed on the terms of our marriage, it was never discussed between us that it would be on paper only. I knew for a fact that I didn't feel that way about Terrence. My feelings for him had grown in ways I could never have imagined given our circumstances. Maybe I'd done our relationship a disservice by not disclosing to Tamera exactly how much I cared for Terrence. By no means was this a simple marriage of convenience for me. Regardless of the fact it began with my needing his help financially.

  “ I mean you don't even wear a wedding ring! It's not like anyone knows you're married so have fun. Terrence will understand. Girl when he get out in a few months he's going to be doing him! You better make sure your ass is doing YOU!” Tamera said oblivious to how the callous words coming out of her mouth were hurting me.

  “ Tamera I don't wear a ring only because it would be hard to explain how I suddenly have a husband and where the hell he is. It's not like I want or need everyone in my personal business. As you very well know I have a beautiful wedding ring your brother had picked out and delivered to me right after we got married months ago.”

  “ My bad I forgot! Hell it's been so long since I've seen it.” Tamera said picking up her drink. Tamera loved her brother and all but come on? She hardly thought Terrence meant for Dana to be a nun while he was doing his bid did he?Terrence will want to do with him once he's out. He'd never had a problem getting women. They were always all over him but he was so picky. Long ago she'd learned to stop trying to fix him up. Especially after the one time he slept with a girl she knew and never called her back. That friendship ended pretty fast. The idea of getting married to Dana came strictly from Terrence for some crazy reason.

  Two other friends Lisa and Dominique joined them from class and the vibe at the table got a much needed change as they all chatted about the upcoming spring fashion show all the graduating class would be participating in. I was glad to see I wasn't the only one worried about the designs I was submitting for the show and my final grade before graduation. We all had our drawing pads out showing off our designs when all of a sudden the talk came to a halt.

  “ TERRENCE!” Tamera screamed jumping up from the table and into his arms.

  “ Hey little sis,” Terrence said hugging her tightly. “ I guess you're glad to see me...are you the only one?” he asked looking pointedly at me.

  “ Damn he's fine! Who the hell is that?” Lisa whispered.

  “ Did he just call her little sister? I think she mentioned she had a brother before but daaaammn! She should have told us he was fine as hell. Tamera is out of damn order! We should have been introduced!” Domonique said licking her lips. “ What's his name? I need all the 411 on his ass!” Domonique said turning to look at Dana since Tamera was still busy screaming with joy.

  I rolled my eyes at Domonique, this thirsty ass hoe right here. She doesn't know who this man is skinning and grinning all up in his damn face.

  “ His name is Terrence Hill...and he's my husband. So wasn't no need to tell any other women about him.” I answered. My shock finally registering at seeing Terrence standing in front of me live and direct. I'd spoken to him last night as usual and he hadn't said a word about being released early. Let alone today. I quickly rose from my seat to greet him.

  “ Ooohh okay!Get it bitch!” Lisa said holding her hand over her mouth snickering.

  “ Can I hug my husband please?” I asked tapping Tamera on the shoulder.

  “ Okay. Excuse me!” Tamera said laughing.

  Terrence looked perfect,tall dark and handsome described him perfectly. It was evident he had a fresh haircut,his dark rinsed jeans fit perfectly, not too tight with just the right amount of bagginess and a crisp white cuffed shirt topped off by a black leather bomber jacket that felt like butter.

  “ Why didn't you tell me you were coming home?”I asked wrapping my arms around his neck kissing him passionately. I didn't give a damn who was looking. My friends and classmates may not have known I was married before but I damn sure didn't give a damn what any of them thought now. All that mattered was me husband was finally in my arms. I was able to kiss him, to hold him and no one could tell me to stop. We stood kissing until we were both breathless and people started to clap. Along with a few cat-calls telling us to get a room. Little did I know Terrence had every intention of doing exactly that.

  “ So what time are your classes done for the day?”

  “ Not soon enough! Hell I'm done now to hear me tell it,but I can't. I really wish I'd known you were coming home so I could have moved some things around! We have the spring show coming up so I can't leave early today. What I will not be doing is going out with the girls later on. I have my husband to come home to now.” I said smiling. “ That sounds weird to me you know. My husband. I can finally say that out loud...right?”

  “ Hell yeah. Get used to it. It's cool though. I have some things I need to take care of today anyway. My lawyer kept a lot of my more important affairs taken care of but now that I'm out I need to make sure I'm handling everything again. So I need to run to the bank and all that right now. We also need to see about getting you moved in with me.”

  My eyes grew wide as saucers.

  The reality that Terrence was actually out was slowly but surely sinking in. He was OUT. No Saturday visitation with fifty other people, no phone calls every night But my husband was right in front of my face. I could look at him every day. Touch him any time I wanted.

  “ Umm. Okay so you want me to come over tonight? I hadn't thought about moving in with you yet. I thought I had more time. We'll work it out though.”

  “ That's kinda the plan baby. Married people usually live with each other.”

  Terrence could practically see a wall coming up. It's one thing to say you're married to me when I'm locked up but now that I'm actually out and looking in her face she don't know what to do with me. I ain’t letting her off the hook either.

  “ So what time will you be done so I can pick you up?”

  “ I can take the subway. I'll be done about four.”

  “ You don't need to take the subway anymore. I'll be out front at four.” Terrence said leaning down for a quick kiss.

  Tamera watched the new couple from the side not quite knowing what to make of it. Terrence always showered her with attention and here he was,out of jail after almost two years and all she'd gotten was a hug? He hadn't even asked her how school was going for her? Asked about mom or anything. What about a shopping spree? Back in the day it wasn't nothing for Terrence to swing by the house at a moments notice and drop a few stacks on her. What the hell? Let me not even worry about this. Terrence just got out I'm sure he'll be calling tomorrow about taki
ng me shopping! If I don't know anyone I know my brother. I need to let Cordell know Terrence is out so he just don't bring his ass over my apartment. Terrence will pull the plug on all my shit if he finds out I'm still fuckin' the nigga he went to jail for, Tamera thought pasting a fake smile on her face.

  “ All right sis I'll talk to you later. I'll be by the house soon anyway we need to talk about a few things.” Terrence said looking his sister squarely in the eye.

  “ Okay we'll have a family dinner. I'll make sure mom is there too. You two really need to talk.” Tamera said smiling.

  “ You're right. Make sure she's there.” Terrence said giving her a hug.

  “ I'll see you out front at four.” Terrence said placing one last kiss on my lips before he walked off.

  Once Terrence was out of ear shot both Dominique and Lisa both turned to me at once.

  “ Oh no bitch! Your ass KNOW you've been holding out on us!” Lisa said. “ When the hell did your ass get married? And where the hell have you been hiding his fine ass?”

  Domonique chimed in as well.

  “ Tamera hoe I've known you way longer than Dana or Lisa! You shoulda been hooked me up! You know I been checkin' for your brother for the longest time. When did he get out?” Domonique asked with an attitude.

  “ Get out? He's been in jail? Lord Jesus! I ain’t surprised. They say that's where all the fine men are anyway...at least the brothas! Shit it's the white boys too. ” Lisa said rolling her eyes and taking a sip of her iced tea.

  I couldn't do shit but shake my head. Lisa and Dominique were man crazy. I had way more on my mind the last few years than dating. First it was the death of my mother three years ago. Now my dad done lost his damn mind. I just had more things on my plate than maintaining a relationship. Terrence was definitely a detour in my life plan.

  “ Okay you guys I'm out. I need to get a lot done today and I want to put some time in on these designs. I'm also meeting with two of the models for the show for fittings.”

  “ Well don't forget about tonight! Terrence can just come along.” Tamera said looking up from her cell phone.

  I gave her the side-eye.

  “ Oh a party is definitely out of the question for me tonight. I'm a wife now and my husband just got home. So unless he's in the mood to go ,count me out for tonight.” I said gathering my sketch pad and notes to place them in my portfolio.

  “ Girl Terrence is not going to care about you going out. He just got out from being in almost two years. Terrence is going to be all over the Brooklyn seeing his boys and hooking up with women he left behind. I wouldn't be surprised if he ain't already hooked up with Camryn.”

  I decided not to say a word. I bit my tongue so goddamn hard I could taste my own blood. I knew the things Terrence and I talked about when he was still locked up but would all that change now that he was out ? Maybe he would decide he didn't want to be really married. Tamera had mentioned a woman he was seriously dating when he got locked up. What if he wanted to pick things back up with her? Regardless of what was going on with Terrence and I,this was the last time Tamera was getting away with her mouth. I suddenly had a sneaking suspicion Tamera knew exactly what she was doing making her little snide comments all the time. Hell it was the reason it was so easy these last months for me not to even discuss Terrence with her.

  Every since I'd told Tamera about our marriage I had respected Terrence's wishes and hadn't spoken about our relationship with her. The only thing Tamera knew was that the tuition had been paid in full. Once I talked to Terrence tonight I'd know whether or not I really needed to check Tamera about her funky, disrespectful tone.

  * * * *

  17. Butterflies

  Dana

  Oh my God, I hope he doesn't forget he said he'd pick me up, I thought looking at my cell phone clock. It was just now four. The rest of the afternoon hadn't passed as easily as I had hoped. My stomach was in knots I was so nervous. I'd spent more time adding up my actual face to face time with Terrence than anything else. I'd come to the painful realization that it didn't add up to shit! Hell those Saturday visits just didn't add up in the grand scheme of things. I heard two loud honks and looked up. Now he wanted me to just go to his house? I'm not ready. Hell I didn't even know he had a place! I thought he stayed with Tamera and his mom. Even though I'd only ever seen their mom at the house maybe a handful of time in the two years Tamera and I had been friends. It was one thing spending a weekend with him with a guard a few feet away in case I needed him. This is completely different. Was that Terrence? I thought to myself straining to get a look at the guy parked a few feet away at the curb in a black Mercedes. Shit that is him. I quickly pulled a napkin out of my purse and dabbed my now sweaty forehead. I was nervous as hell. I'll bet I look a hot ass mess! This is not how I wanted to look or feel when I greeted my husband on his first day out of prison!

  I slowly made my way across the street to the car. Maybe I need to have him take me to my place. Janay will be home soon and I wont have to be alone with him just yet. This whole situation is overwhelming me right now.

  “ Hey baby,how was the rest of your day?” Terrence asked as I slid into the passenger seat.

  “ It was okay. Hectic to say the least, I'll be glad when this spring show is all done and these people hand me my diploma.”

  “ It'll be over before you know it.”

  “ So where are we going Terrence? Why didn't you tell me you were getting out early? You knew last night when I talked to you!”

  I wanted to be mad but when I looked upside his sexy ass head all I saw was dimples. I could feel myself melt a little inside. In that moment it didn't matter he'd kept his early release a secret. All that mattered was that he was here beside me. I couldn't stop myself from reaching out and grabbing his hand. Terrence brought my hand to his lips and kissed it softly.

  “ You happy to see me?”

  “ Of course I am. Where are we headed?”

  “ We're going to my, I mean our house. I did tell you my lawyer was working on it. But I didn't wanna keep bringing it up in case it didn't happen.” Terrence said keeping an eye on the creeping traffic. After he'd ran his errands earlier he'd driven all over the city. It felt good to go where he wanted to go the minute his mind told him too. He didn't know how some of the men he'd met in prison survived that shit. Some of those men hadn't been outside in 10,12 years. Hell some of them were serving life sentences.

  His relatively short sentence had definitely driven the point home for him. His entire life had to change. His freedom was everything. Everything he touched from now on had to be legit. Unbeknownst to anyone but his closet confidants, his new ventures had already been in motion for the last year.

  Thirty minutes later they pulled into an underground garage. It was clean and well lit. I noticed from the cars parked inside it damn near looked like a car dealership. Terrence got out of the car and walked over to the passenger side to help me carry my things. When we got in the elevator Terrence pushed the button to the sixth floor and we rode up in silence.

  * * * *

  18. Fight Or Flight

  Terrence

  I wonder what's bothering her? Earlier she seemed genuinely happy to see me. Now she can barely open her mouth to say a word to me. Shit that's one thing about women I did not miss. Mood swings. I thought stepping off the elevator and leading the way down the hall to a heavy steel door. Dana hadn't been able to see the outside of the building at all only the garage but when I opened the door and we walked inside, her dropped jaw letting me know she was impressed.

  The entire place was huge and open, the ceilings were so high Dana had to literally tilt her entire head back just to see it all. She was able to detect the textured pattern on the wall. It was obvious this place had once been some type of warehouse and had been converted into high end living spaces.

  “ Wow! Terrence this is gorgeous. Did you get this today? Whose place is this?” Dana asked walking around taking a look at the tastefully d
ecorated home. It was definitely decorated with a male in mind,the large wide screen T.V. damn near looked like a move screen on the wall. Stereo set up and game systems,the kitchen area was modern with stainless steel shining appliances that could rival the kitchen of any professional chef.

  I laughed.

  “ Nah baby. I own this place. I bought it six years ago. I had my lawyer hook me up with a housekeeper who came in and kept the place nice and clean the entire time I was locked up. I had her come get the place ready for me last week. Who knows maybe we'll keep her on now that I'm out. It's up to you.”

  “ Up to me? How so ?”

  I shook my head and smiled. This woman don't even know if she play her cards right I'ma give her ass everything.

  “ Because you're my wife Dana, the woman of the house. I mean we talked about all this many times. I'm a modern type dude but I do have some old-fashioned ways. You're the lady of the house. If you meet the house-cleaner and like her she can stay....if you don't like her she gotta go.” I walked through the spacious loft taking off my jacket,stripping down until I was in my wife-beater and jeans.

  Dana's breath caught in her throat just looking at him. Terrence had an amazing body. Hell I don't know how his body looked before he got locked up but his body damn sure looks good as hell now, Dana thought.

  “ Come sit down Dana, let's talk.” I said motioning her to the sleek,black leather sectional in the middle of the room. Dana walked hesitantly towards me looking unsure of where she should sit. Does he want me right next to him? Maybe I should sit across from him? Dana took a few steps to the left away from him.

  “ Right here. Next to me...that's if you don't mind.” I said a smirk etched across my face.

  “ Of course I don't mind. It's just that, well...,” Dana stammered before she decided to just shut the hell up and walk towards him. She sat down running her fingers through her hair.