Ten Big Ones

  'Are there any other options?' I asked him.

  'What are you doing here?'

  1 needed a safe place to stay.'

  His mouth curved at the corners. Not quite a smile but definite amusement. 'And you think this is safe?'

  'It was until you came home.'

  The brown eyes were unwavering, fixed on me. 'What scares you more... getting thrown out the window or sleeping with me?'

  I sat up in bed, pulling the covers up with me. 'Don't flatter yourself. You're not that scary.' Liar, liar, pants on fire!

  The almost-smile stayed in place. 'I saw the gun and the flak vest when I came in.'

  I told him about the death threat from Junkman.

  'You should have asked Tank for help,' Ranger said.

  'I don't always feel comfortable with Tank.'

  'And you feel comfortable with me?'

  I hesitated with my answer.

  'Babe,' Ranger said. 'You're in my bed.'

  'Yes. Well, I guess that would indicate a certain comfort level.'

  His attention dropped to my chest. 'Are you wearing my shirt?'

  1 have to do laundry.'

  Ranger unlaced his boots.

  'What are you doing?'

  He looked over at me. `I'm going to bed. I've been up since four this morning, and I just drove nine hours to get home. Half of it in pouring rain. I'm beat. I'm going to take a shower. And I'm going to bed.'

  'Urn...'

  'Don't look so panicked. You can sleep on the couch, or you can leave, or you can stay in the bed. I'm not going to attack you in your sleep. At least it's not my plan right now. We can figure this out in the morning.'

  And he disappeared into the bathroom.

  Heaven help me, I didn't want to give up the bed. It was warm and comfy. The sheets were silky smooth. The pillows were soft.

  And the bed was big. I could stay on my side, and he could stay on his side, and we'd be fine, right? Clearly, he didn't think my staying was a sexual invitation. We were adults. We could do this.

  I turned on my side, face to the wall, back to the bathroom, lulled into sleep by the distant sound of the shower and the rain on the window.

  I came awake slowly, thinking I was back at Morelli's house. I could feel the warmth from the man next to me, and I edged closer. I reached out, and the instant my fingertip touched skin I realized my mistake.

  'Oops,' I said.

  'Babe,' Ranger said, wrapping his arms around me, gathering me close to him.

  I meant to push away, but I was distracted by the scent of the sexy shower gel mingled with warm Ranger. 'You smell great,' I told him, my lips brushing against his neck as I spoke, my mind suddenly not totally connected to my mouth. I thought of you every time I took a shower. I love this stuff you use.'

  'My housekeeper buys it for me,' Ranger said. 'Maybe I should give her a raise.'

  And he kissed me.

  'Oh shit,' I said.

  'Now what?'

  `I'M sorry. I'm having a major guilt attack over Morelli.'

  'While we're on the subject, why aren't you in his bed?'

  'Same old, same old.'

  'You had a fight, and you moved out.'

  'More like a disagreement.'

  `I'm seeing an unhealthy pattern of behavior here, Babe.'

  Tell me about it. 'I didn't want to move back home because

  Junkman was looking for me, and I didn't want to endanger my family.' Plus they'd drive me crazy. 'I was going to sleep in the truck, but it led me here. The GPS was on. I just followed it backwards.'

  'And broke into my apartment?'

  1 had a key. You don't seem especially upset or surprised that I borrowed your apartment.'

  With the exception of the seventh floor, the entire building inside and out is monitored. Tank called me when you pulled up to the gate. I assumed you had a good reason for needing the apartment, so I told him to let you stay.'

  That was nice of you.'

  'Yeah, I'm a nice guy. And I'm late for work.' He rolled out of bed, stood at bedside, pressed speaker phone, and hit a button.

  A woman's voice came on. 'Good morning,' she said. 'Welcome home.'

  'Breakfast for two this morning,' Ranger said. And he disconnected.

  I looked over at him. He was wearing the black silk boxers. They sat disturbingly low on his hip, and his hair was mussed from sleep.

  How I'd managed to stop kissing him and give in to the guilt was a mystery. Even now, I was having a hard time not jumping across the bed and grabbing him.

  'What was that?' I asked, thankful my voice didn't sound as breathless as I felt.

  'Ella and Louis Guzman manage this building for me. I work here, and sometimes I sleep here. That's about it. Ella makes it easy for me. She does the cooking, the cleaning, the laundry, the shopping.'

  'And she brings you breakfast?'

  'She'll be at the door in ten minutes. I've never had a woman here before, so she's going to be curious. Just smile and endure it.

  She's a very nice lady.'

  I was dressed and had my teeth brushed when Ella rang the bell. I opened the door to her, and she bustled in carrying a large silver tray.

  'Hello. Good morning!' she said, all smiles as she swept past me.

  She was small and robust with short black hair and bright bird eyes. Early fifties, I thought. She was wearing bright red lipstick.

  No other makeup. She was dressed in black jeans and a black V-neck knit shirt. She set the tray on the dining-room table and laid out two place settings.

  This is Rangers usual breakfast,' Ella said to me. 'If you would like something different I'd be happy to make it for you. Maybe some eggs?'

  'Thank you. This will be fine. It looks lovely.'

  Ella excused herself and retreated, closing the door behind herself. She'd brought hot coffee in a silver pot with matching cream and sugar, a platter of sliced fruit and berries, a small silver dish of lox, and two small pots of cream cheese. A white linen napkin covered a basket of sliced, toasted bagels.

  Ranger was in the bedroom, lacing his boots. He was dressed in his usual uniform, hair still damp from the shower.

  'What is that?' I said, arm straight, finger pointing to the dining room.

  He rose out of the chair and walked to the doorway. 'Breakfast?'

  'You eat like this everyday?'

  'Every day that I'm here.'

  'What about the tree bark and wild roots?'

  He poured the coffee and took some fruit. 'Only when I'm in a third-world jungle. And I'm almost never in one of those.'

  'I've been eating that cardboard cereal in your cupboard.'

  Ranger cut his eyes to me. 'Babe, I looked in my cupboard.

  You've got Frosted Flakes in there.'

  'So,' I said, 'is this the Bat Cave?'

  'This is an apartment I keep in my office building. I have similar buildings and apartments in Boston, Atlanta, and Miami. It turns out security is big business these days. I supply a variety of services to a wide range of clients. Trenton was my first base of operation, and it's the place I spend most of my time. My family is still in

  Jersey.'

  'Why all the secrecy?'

  'We're not secretive about the office buildings, but we try to keep a low profile.'

  'We?'

  'I have partners.'

  'Let me guess the

  Justice League. The Flash, Wonder Woman, and Superman.'

  Ranger looked like he was thinking about smiling.

  'Okay, forget the partners,' I said. 'I want to get back to the Bat

  Cave. Is there a Bat Cave?'

  Ranger took a bagel and speared some lox onto it. 'You're going to have to work harder for that one. It's not in the phone book, and

  GPS isn't going to take you there.'

  A challenge.

  Ranger glanced at his watch. 'I have five minutes. Tell me about

  Junkman.'

  'Not much to tell. He wants to kill me.
I told you everything I know last night.'

  'What are you doing about it?'

  'Connie and Lula and I kidnapped a Slayer. The plan was to get him to talk to us about Junkman, but we haven't had any luck.'

  Ranger finished his bagel and pushed back from the table to finish his coffee. 'Kidnapping a Slayer is good. Why wouldn't he talk?'

  'He didn't want to.'

  Ranger paused with the coffee cup halfway to his mouth. 'You're supposed to persuade him.'

  'We were going to slap him around, but when we got him tied to the chair it turned out none of us could hit him.'

  Ranger burst out laughing and coffee sloshed out of his cup onto the table. He put the coffee down and reached for his napkin, trying not to laugh, not having a lot of luck at it.

  'Jeez,' I said. 'I think that's the first time I've ever seen you laugh like that.'

  There's not a lot to laugh about when you're knee deep in garbage. And that's where we usually operate.' He swiped his napkin across the table, blotting up the coffee spill.

  'If you have all this, why do you still do fugitive apprehension?'

  `I'M good at it. And someone has to do the job.'

  I followed him into his dressing room and watched him open the locked drawer and remove a gun. I was working hard at keeping my eyes focused above his waist, but I was thinking no underwear!

  'Do you still have your Slayer hidden away?' he asked.

  'Yes.'

  'Is he secure?'

  'Yes,' I said.

  'My day is filled, but we can talk to him tonight. In the meantime, don't have any contact with this guy. Don't feed him. Let him worry.' He clipped the gun to his belt. 'I need the truck. Use one of the Porsches. The keys are in the plate on the sideboard. The communication room and gym are on the fifth floor. Feel free to use the gym. Ella and Louis live on the sixth floor. You can intercom number six if you need anything. She'll be in today to make the bed and clean and pick up laundry. She'll do your laundry if you leave it out for her.' He glanced at his watch again. `I have a meeting scheduled. I'm assuming you want to live here a while longer?'

  'Yes.' I didn't have a lot of good choices.

  His mouth curved into the almost-smile. 'You're going to be indebted to me, Babe. You want to start working on that guilt problem.'

  Oh boy.

  He grabbed me and kissed me, and I felt my toes curl. And I wondered how long it would take me to get him undressed. And just exactly how many minutes did he have before the meeting. I didn't think I needed a lot of time. After all, he wasn't wearing any undies. That would help, right?

  'I have to go,' he said.`I'm late.'

  Thank God, he was late. There were no minutes. No time to cheat on Joe. No time to send myself straight to hell. I smoothed the wrinkles from his shirt where my fingers had gripped the material. 'Do you know where the truck is?'

  'It's in the garage. I had Tank bring it in last night. All the cars and trucks are equipped with GPS tracking. We always know where they are.'

  Great. Really glad I went to the trouble to park two blocks away.

  I showered and dressed and left the apartment, being careful not to run into any of the men. I suspected they were also careful not to run into me. The arrangement felt awkward.

  I chose the Turbo, parking at the curb when I got to the office, so I could keep an eye on the car. It was one thing to lose a bargain-basement

  Lincoln; I didn't want to get a bunch of unnecessary holes in Ranger's megabucks Porsche.

  'Holy crap,' Lula said, staring out the window at the Porsche. 'Is that Ranger's Turbo?'

  `Yes He's back, and he needed the truck, so he gave me the 911.

  He's going to talk to our friend tonight. He said we shouldn't have any contact with him. And he didn't want us to feed him.'

  'Fine by me,' Connie said. I'm not anxious to repeat yesterday's performance.'

  'Yeah,' Lula said. That was embarrassing.'

  'Anything new on the books?' I asked.

  'No, but you have three outstandings,' Connie said. 'Shoshanna

  Brown, Harold Pancek, and the thumb guy, Jamil Rodriguez.

  Maybe you want to leave Rodriguez for Ranger.'

  'We'll see how it goes,' I said.`I'm going to pick up Shoshanna

  Brown this morning.'

  Lula looked at me hopefully. 'Need any help?'

  'Not with Brown. I've picked her up before. She's usually cooperative.' And to make things even easier, I'd chosen the flashy

  Turbo. Shoshanna would be at home smoking weed in her rat trap apartment, watching the Travel Channel on her stolen television, and she'd happily trade her freedom for a ride in the Porsche.

  Shoshanna lived in the projects on the other side of town. I took

  Hamilton to Olden and wound my way around, avoiding known

  Slayer territory. I parked in front of Shoshanna's building and called her. Ordinarily, I'd march up to Shoshannas front door and encourage her to come with me in person. If I did that today, alone and in the Porsche, the car would be gone the instant I turned my back.

  `Yeah, what?' Shoshanna said, answering the phone.

  'Its Stephanie Plum. I want you to look out your front window.'

  This better be good. I'm watching a show on the best bathrooms in Vegas.'

  'I came to take you for a ride in Rangers Turbo.'

  'Are you shitting me? The Porsche? You came to pick me up in the Porsche? Hold on. I'll be right out. I just gotta put on some lipstick for my new photo. I've been waiting for you anyway I'm hoping I get sent to the workhouse on account of I got a tooth that's killing me, and they got a good dentist there. I won't have to pay for it or nothing.'

  Two minutes later, Shoshanna burst out of her apartment and angled herself into the Porsche. 'Now this is class,' she said. 'I hope some of my neighbors are watching. I don't suppose you could drive me past my friend Latisha Anne's apartment so she could see?'

  I drove Shoshanna past Latisha Anne's apartment, Shirelle

  Maries apartment, and Lucy Sue's apartment. And then I drove her to jail.

  Shoshanna was cuffed to the bench when I left with my paperwork. Thanks,' she said. 'See you next time.'

  'You might want to think about staying out of trouble.'

  'It's no problema,' she said. `I only get caught when I need dental.'

  Morelli was waiting for me outside. 'Nice car,' he said.

  `I borrowed it from Ranger to get Shoshanna. She jumped right in.'

  'Clever.'

  I was choking on guilt. My throat was dry and my chest was hot.

  I could feel sweat beginning to prickle at the roots of my hair. I happen to be excellent at rationalizing away acts of dumbness, but this one had me for a loss. I'd slept with Ranger! Not sexually, of course. But I'd been in his bed. And then there was the evil shower gel. And the kisses. And heaven help me, there'd been desire. A lot of desire.

  'It was all because of the shower gel,' I said.

  Morelli's eyes narrowed. 'Shower gel?'

  I made a major effort not to sigh. 'Long story. You probably don't want to hear it. Out of morbid curiosity, what sort of a relationship do we have?'

  It looks to me like we're in the off stage of on again, off again. Or maybe we're still on again... but in a remote sort of way.'

  'Suppose I wanted to change it to full-time on again?'

  'For starters, you'd have to get a new job. Or even better, no job at all.'

  'No job?'

  'You could be a housewife,' Morelli said.

  Our eyes locked in stunned disbelief that he'd suggested such a thing.

  'Okay, maybe not a housewife,' Morelli said.

  I sensed a slur on my ability to housewife. 'I could be a housewife if I wanted. I'd be a good one, too.'

  'Sure you would,' Morelli said. 'Eventually. Maybe.'

  'It's just that I was surprised because marriage is usually a prerequisite to being a housewife.'

  'Yeah,' Morelli said. 'Isn't th
at a frightening thought?'