Torn

I decided to play it reasonable, instead of shouting all the things I really wanted to say.

  “And now you know the truth. ” She sounded tired of the conversation already, and it’d only just begun. She finally lowered her arm, wearily meeting my angry stare with her dark eyes. “Why are you looking at me that way?”

  “That’s all you have to say to me?” I asked.

  “What more do you want me to say?” Elora sat up in one smooth, graceful move. When I didn’t back down, she stood up, apparently not fond of the idea of me looking down on her.

  “I was just kidnapped by the Vittra, the King of whom is my father, and you have nothing to say to me?” I stared at her incredulously, and she walked away, putting her back to me as she went over to the window.

  “I’d feel more sympathetic to your plight if you hadn’t run away. ” She folded her arms over her chest, almost hugging herself as she stared out at the river flowing below. “I specifically forbade you from leaving the compound, and we all told you it was for your own protection. After the attack, you knew firsthand the dangers of leaving, and you left. It’s not my fault you put yourself in that situation. ”

  “Because of the attack I thought they’d be too injured and afraid to try anything like that again!” I yelled. “I didn’t think the Vittra would have any reason to keep coming after me, but I would’ve if I had known about my father. ”

  “You took your life into your own hands when you left, and you knew it,” Elora said simply.

  “Dammit, Elora!” I shouted. “This isn’t about placing blame, okay? I want to know why you lied. You told me my father was dead. ”

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  “It was far simpler and cleaner than telling you the truth. ” She said that like it would make everything okay. It was easier lying to me, so that’s fine. I wouldn’t want to make her life complicated or anything.

  “What is the truth?” I asked her directly.

  “I married your father because it was the right thing to do. ” She didn’t say anything more for so long I thought she might not continue, but then she said, “The Vittra and Trylle have been fighting for centuries, maybe forever. ”

  “Why?” I stepped closer to her, but she didn’t look at me.

  “Various reasons. ” She gave a slight shrug. “The Vittra have always been more aggressive than we, but we’re more powerful. It led to an odd power structure, and they were always jostling for more control, more land, more people. ”

  “So you thought marrying Oren would end centuries of fighting?”

  “My parents thought so. They had arranged it before I even came to Förening. ” Elora had been a changeling, like I had, though she rarely spoke of it. “I could’ve contested it, of course, the way you contested your name. ”

  She said that last part somewhat bitterly. As part of returning to the Trylle, I was supposed to undergo a christening ceremony and change my name to something more fitting. I hadn’t wanted to, and thanks to the Vittra busting up the ceremony, I hadn’t had to. Elora had relented and allowed me to keep my own name, and I’d been the first Princess to do so in our history.

  “But you didn’t contest it?” I asked, ignoring her little jab at me.

  “No. I had to put my own wants behind the greater good of the people. That’s something you’ll have to learn to do. ” The light shone on her hair as if she had a halo. She turned back to the window, and it was gone.

  “If a simple wedding would end the abhorrence, then I had to do it,” Elora continued. “I had to think of the lives and wasted energy of both the Trylle and Vittra. ”

  “So you married him,” I finished for her. “Then what happened?”

  “Not a lot. We weren’t married for very long. ” She rubbed her arm, stifling a chill only she felt. “I’d met him a handful of times before the wedding, and he’d been on his best behavior. I hadn’t loved him, but…”

  She didn’t finish her thought, and the way she let it hang in the air led me to believe that she had cared for him.

  I couldn’t imagine Elora caring for anyone. When she flirted with Garrett Strom, it seemed like a show. I’m not sure if they were actually dating or not, but he seemed to like her and hung around a lot. Plus, he was a Markis, so she could marry him if she wanted.

  Both Finn and Rhys had told me of a secret, long-standing affair that Elora had had with Finn’s father, after my own father was gone. He’d been a tracker and was married to Finn’s mother, so they could never be together openly, but Rhys claimed that she truly loved him.

  “What happened after you were married?” I asked.

  Elora had been lost in thought for a moment, and when I brought her out of it, she shook her head.

  “It didn’t go well,” she said simply. “He wasn’t outright cruel, which made things harder. I couldn’t leave him, not without just cause. Not with so much riding on it. ”

  “But you did eventually?”

  “Yes. After you were conceived, he…” She paused, searching for the right word. “He became too much for me to bear. Right before you were born, I left him, and I hid you. I wanted a strong family to protect and shelter you, should he come looking. ”

  “Is that why Finn started tracking me so early?” I asked.

  Trackers usually waited to retrieve changelings until they were eighteen or so, once they were legal adults with access to trust funds. Finn had been following me around since the beginning of my senior year, making me one of the youngest changelings ever to return.

  He’d claimed it was because I moved around so much, they were afraid of losing me, but now I suspected that they’d been afraid the Vittra would get to me first.

  “Yes. ” Elora nodded. “Thankfully, I wasn’t yet Queen of the Trylle when we separated. Oren may have been King of the Vittra, but he was only a prince here. He had no standing over the kingdom. Otherwise things could’ve gone a lot differently. ”

  “When did you become Queen?” I asked, momentarily distracted from information about Oren.

  I couldn’t imagine Elora as a Princess. I knew she must’ve been young and inexperienced at one time, but she had the regality of someone who had always been Queen.

  “Not long after you were born. ” Elora turned to me. “But I am glad that you’re here. ”

  “I almost didn’t make it back,” I said, trying to elicit some concern from her. She raised an eyebrow but said nothing. “Their tracker, Kyra, beat the crap out of me. I would’ve died if Oren wasn’t married to a healer. ”

  “You wouldn’t have died. ” She brushed me off, the same way everybody seemed to when I told them of Kyra hurting me.

  “I was coughing up blood! I think a broken rib punctured a lung or something. ” My ribs still ached, and I’d been certain that I would die in that dungeon.

  “Oren would never let you die,” Elora said dismissively. She stepped away from the window and sat down on the chaise lounge, but I stayed standing.

  “Maybe not,” I admitted. “But he could’ve killed Matt and Rhys. ”

  “Matt?” She was confused for a minute, an expression that looked unusual on her.

  “My brother. Er, my host brother, or whatever you wanna call him. ” I grew tired of trying to explain him as anything else and decided that from here on out, I’d just call him my brother. As far as I was concerned, he still was.

  “Are they here now?” Her expression shifted from confusion to irritation.

  “Yeah. I wasn’t going to leave them there. Oren would kill them to spite me. ” I wasn’t sure if that was true or not, but it felt true.

  “You all made it out of there, then?” For a second she sounded and looked as if she actually cared. It was nowhere near Matt’s level of concern, but at least it resembled something human and loving.

  “Yeah. We did. Finn and Tove got us out of there without any problem. ” I furrowed my brow, remembering how easy it had been to escape.


  “Did something happen?” Elora asked, homing in on my unease.

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  “No. ” I shook my head. “And that’s just it. Nothing happened. We practically walked right out of there. ”

  “Well, that is Oren for you. ” She rolled her eyes. “He’s too arrogant, and that’s always been his downfall. ”

  “What do you mean?”

  “He’s powerful, very powerful. ” Elora’s tone held a sense of awe I hadn’t witnessed from her before. “But he’s always thought that he could take anything he wanted and no one would stop him. It’s true most trolls are too afraid to cross him. He incorrectly assumed I would fall into that category. ”

  “But I’m your daughter. He didn’t think you’d even try?” I asked dubiously.

  “Like I said, he’s too arrogant. ” She rubbed her temple and settled back on the chaise.

  Elora had the gift of precognition, as well as some other telekinetic powers. I didn’t know the extent of them all, but I hoped to get a better grasp soon.

  I turned to look at her paintings more closely, which she used to predict the future. She only had two completed in the room, and one she’d recently started. The new one only had a swatch of blue painted in the corner, so I couldn’t get anything from that.

  The first finished one showed the garden behind the house. It started under the balcony and ran down the bluff, surrounded by a brick wall. I’d only been in it once, and it had been idyllic, thanks to the Trylle magic that kept it perpetually in bloom.

  In her painting, the garden was covered in a light snow that glimmered and sparkled like diamonds. But the stream, flowing like a waterfall to a fountain in the center, hadn’t frozen over. Despite the wintry scene, all the flowers were still in full bloom. Petals of pink and blue and purple glistened with a light frost, making it all look like an exotic fairyland.

  Elora had a breathtaking skill for painting, and I would’ve commented on it if I’d thought my opinion mattered to her. The beauty of the garden painting enraptured me so much it took me a moment to realize there was something dark lurking in it.

  A figure stood by the hedge. It appeared to be a man with hair far lighter than my own, but the shadows made it hard to tell. He stood in the distance, making his face too blurry to be distinguishable.

  Even though I couldn’t see much, there was something menacing about him. Or at least Elora thought so when she painted him. I got that vibe from the canvas.

  “When did you know the Vittra had gotten me?” I asked, realizing she might’ve known all along.

  “When Finn told me,” she answered absently. “He came and retrieved Tove, and then left to get you. ”

  “And you just…” I was about to ask why she let them go without sending along help, like an army, perhaps. But my gaze had moved on to the other painting and I stopped.

  This one showed me, a close-up from my waist up. The background was a blur of blacks and grays, giving no indication of where I stood. I appeared much the same as I did now, except dressed much better. My hair was down and the dark curls were arranged beautifully. I had on a gorgeous white gown, decorated with diamonds that matched my necklace and the ones in my earrings.

  But what was most striking was that on my head I wore a crown, ornately twisted silver adorned with diamonds. My face looked expressionless, and I couldn’t tell if I was pleased or upset to be crowned, but there it was. A picture of me as Queen.

  “When did you paint this?” I pointed to the picture and turned to Elora. She had her arm draped over her eyes, but she lifted it up to see what I was asking about.

  “Oh, that. ” She dropped her arm. “Don’t concern yourself with that. You’ll drive yourself mad trying to discern and prevent the future. It’s much better letting things unfold. ”

  “Is this why you never seemed worried about me dying?” I asked, surprised at how angry I felt.

  She knew I wouldn’t die. She had proof that I’d someday be Queen, and she hadn’t bothered letting me in on that.

  Elora sighed. “Among other things. ”

  “What does that mean?” I snapped. “Why do you always have to be so damn cryptic all the time?”

  “It doesn’t mean anything!” She sounded exasperated. “For all I know, that painting means you’ll be the Vittra Queen. The future is far too fluid to ever understand or change. And just because I paint something doesn’t mean it’ll come true. ”

  “But you predicted the attack at my christening ceremony,” I countered. “I saw the painting. You painted the ballroom on fire. ”

  “Yes, and I couldn’t stop it,” she said icily.

  “You didn’t even try! You didn’t warn me or cancel the ceremony!”

  “I tried to stop it!” She shot me an angry glare that would’ve made me cringe before, but not anymore. “I met with people. I discussed it with everyone. I told Finn and all the trackers. But I had nothing to go on. I only saw fire and chandeliers and smoke. No people. Not the room. Not even a time frame. Do you know how many chandeliers there are in the south wing alone? What was I supposed to do? Tell everyone to avoid chandeliers forever?”

  “No. I don’t know,” I stammered. “You could’ve done … something. ”

  “It’s not until after that I understand what the vision means,” Elora said, more to herself than me. “It’s that way with all of them. It’s almost worse being able to see the future. I don’t know what it means, and I can’t stop it. Only after, it all seems so obvious. ”

  “So then what are you saying?” I asked. “I won’t be Queen?”

  “No. I’m saying that the painting doesn’t mean anything. ” She closed her eyes and rubbed the bridge of her nose. “I’m getting a terrible migraine. I’d rather not continue this conversation. ”

  “Fine. Whatever. ” I threw my hands up in the air, knowing I couldn’t force things with Elora. I was lucky she hadn’t summoned Finn to drag me out of here.

  Then I remembered him, Finn. I hadn’t been able to say much of anything in the car ride to Förening, but I definitely still had a lot to say to him.

  I left the parlor to go track down Finn. I should have been more concerned with other things, but right then I only wanted to find a moment alone with him. A moment when we could really talk and I could … I don’t know. But I had to see him.

  Instead of Finn, I found Duncan waiting a little ways down the hall. He’d been leaning against the wall, playing with his phone, but when I came out of the room he straightened up. He offered a sheepish smile, and his attempt at quickly shoving his phone in his pocket only made him drop it.

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  “Sorry. ” Duncan scrambled to pick it up as I approached. “I just wanted to give you alone time with your mother. ”

  “Thanks. ” I continued down the hall, and he followed along. “Why were you waiting for me? Did you need something?”

  “No. I’m your tracker now. Remember?” He looked embarrassed. “And the Vittra are really after you, so I’m on guard all the time. ”

  “Right. ” I nodded. I’d been hoping that since Finn had saved my life—again—he’d be reinstated as my tracker. “Where’s Finn? I need to talk to him. ”

  “Finn?” Duncan’s steps faltered. “Um, he’s not your tracker anymore. ”

  “No, I know that. And it’s not a condemnation of your ability. ” I forced a smile. “I wanted to talk to Finn for a minute. ”

  “No, yeah. ” He shook his head. “It’s just that…” Unsure why he was so flustered, I stopped walking. “I mean, he’s not your tracker. So … he left. ”

  “He left?” I felt that familiar pang shoot through my heart.

  I shouldn’t be surprised, and I shouldn’t let it hurt me anymore. But the wound sprang open fresh, just like when he’d left before.

  “Yeah. ” Duncan stared at his feet and fiddled with the zipper on his jacket. “You’re safe and everything. His job’s d
one, right?”

  “Right,” I said numbly.

  I could’ve asked where Finn had gone, and maybe I should’ve. He couldn’t have gotten too far that fast. I was sure Finn would say he left to protect me, or protect my honor, or something like that. But I didn’t care.

  Right then, it didn’t matter what his reasons were. All I knew was that I was sick of him breaking my heart.

  NINE

  underrated

  Tove couldn’t fix Rhys because that wasn’t how his abilities worked. When I went upstairs after my talk with Elora, I had to send Rhys down for her to fix him. I could’ve gone with him, but I figured Elora had had her fill of me for the day.

  Tove went to his house to get some rest, and I thanked him for everything he’d done. Without him, I’m not entirely sure we could’ve gotten out. Even though Oren’s security was lax, it was Tove who had gotten in and kept the trolls at bay.

  Rhys had started getting Matt settled in one of the spare rooms down the hall from mine. I went to see how he was doing, and Duncan seemed far too content to follow at my heels. It took a lot of convincing, but I managed to get him to wait outside. Duncan didn’t trust Matt because he was human, but if he was going to be my tracker, he had to learn to deal with it.

  Matt stood in the middle of the room looking lost, and he’d never been the kind of guy who got lost. He’d changed into a pair of sweatpants that fit okay, but his T-shirt was snug, so I assumed he’d borrowed them from Rhys.

  “How are you doing with all of this?” I asked, closing the bedroom door quietly as I came in. I knew Duncan was keeping his post outside, and I didn’t want him listening. Not that I planned on saying anything secret. I just wanted a moment alone with my brother.

  “Um … great?” He gave me a sad smile and shook his head. “I don’t know. How am I supposed to be doing?”

  “About like this. ”

  “None of this seems real, you know?” Matt sat down on the bed and sighed. “I keep thinking I’ll wake up and this will all be a very strange dream. ”

  “I know the feeling exactly. ” I remembered how confusing and scary everything had seemed when I first got here. It still seemed that way most of the time.

  “How long am I staying here?” Matt asked.

  “I don’t know. I hadn’t really thought about it. ” I came over and sat on the bed next to him. Honestly, I wanted him to stay here forever, but that’d be selfish. “I guess until this all blows over. When the Vittra stop being a threat. ”

  “Why are they coming after you?”

  “It’s a very long story, and I’ll tell you later. ” I wanted to tell him, but I didn’t have the strength for a lengthy explanation. At least not right now.

  “But they will stop, won’t they?” Matt asked, and I nodded as if I actually believed it.

  “Until then, I want you to stay here. I need to know you’re safe,” I said. I wasn’t sure how Elora would feel about that, but I didn’t care.