Fitting In (Is Hard to Do) Semester 1

SYMPHONY CAN GET SO dramatic at times. Does she really think I’d let anyone put their hands on her? This whole time she’s been the one telling me not to throw the game! She’s mad now but she’ll get over it.

  As soon as we entered my grandmother’s foyer, she lunged and chastised Jaylen and me. “Where have y’all been? The game was over hours ago. I’ve been calling ya cell phone for a while now.”

  “Oh, my bad, Ma. My battery went out.” I threw my jacket on the coat rack beside the front door.

  “And what’s your excuse?” Ma stopped Jaylen from running upstairs.

  “I ain’t got no excuse Grandma, I forgot mines at home.”

  “What the hell am I paying the bill ‘fer then? Y’all obviously don’t need ‘em.”

  I wasn’t paying Ma’ no attention because she often ranted like this. My attention, however; was on the male stranger sitting on my grandmother’s sofa. This dude was dressed in an all-black jogging suit that looked like he had to pay a grip for it. He was a dark ass dude with a razor shaved head. On it, it wore an old school Kango which he sported backwards. “Ma, who is that?”

  “Well, that’s what I was trying to tell ya. I told you weeks ago that I needed to talk to ya both, but ya just kept pressin’ me off. Both of y’all come on in here.” Jaylen and I looked at each other before following Ma into the living room.

  “This here, is Mr. Dennis-” She waved her hand as if saying, forget his last name. “It’s just Dennis.” She introduced Mr. Dennis to Jaylen and me. “Y’all have a seat.” She sat down in a chair, Jaylen sat on the other end of the sofa, but I chose to stand.

  I didn’t trust this dude and not even one word had escaped his mouth. I wasn’t about to let my guard down by punking out and having a seat like Jaylen. I’m a soldier. And a soldier has to be ready at all times. Especially when the enemy is invading his camp. Before I even attempted to get comfortable, I had to know what this dudes intentions were.

  “I can’t believe how you guys have turned into such young men.” Dennis rubbed his chin.

  “Are we supposed to know who you are or something?” I was defensive, and it showed.

  “Roman don’t be rude! You know that is not the way I’ve raised you!” Ma readjusted herself in her chair.

  Dennis laughed a little and removed his hat to pat the sweat erupting from his baldhead. He was about to open his mouth and say something until Ma beat him to the punch.

  “He’s your uncle.” Evelyn switched to her rocking chair and rocked. “Yep, your long lost Uncle Dennis.”

  “Who’s uncle? Not mine!” I know the look on my face said it all. I didn’t know this nigga from jump. Never even seen a damn picture of this dude, so don’t come up in my space tellin’ me jack! On the real!

  “He’s yours and Jaylen.”

  “How the hell is that Ma? I know he ain’t your son!” My grandmother jumped up and smacked me dead in the mouth. I had to take a deep breath because my reflexes had flinched. I had to catch myself. For a minute, I almost forgot she was my grandmother.

  “Not here! Not in my presence will you curse at me boy!”

  I had enough of the charades and game playing. I didn’t like it at all, almost as much as I didn’t like the strange dude sitting in my face. I reached for Ma’s purse to get her car keys.

  “Roman! What do you think you’re doing?” She grabbed her purse away from me and held it close to her breast as if she was about to nurse a newborn baby. “You’re going to stop taking my car, you know you don’t have a license!”

  This made me even more heated. She didn’t have a problem with me driving the car when she needed a refill on her prescription or running an errand she didn’t want to do. But now. Now, in front of this stranger, she wanted to act as if she set and had reinforce able rules.

  “You cannot just drive my car any ‘ole time you want too. The next time, I’ma call the law and have them pick you up!”

  For me, it all went in one ear and out the other. Dennis the stranger stood up as if he would intervene until Ma shut him up and shut him down.

  “Come on cuz, let’s bounce!” Jaylen got up and followed me.

  “I don’t care where you go, so as long as it’s on foot!” Ma waited for a few moments and then returned to entertain the visitor.

  I burst through the screen door letting it bounce back and hit Jaylen in the face. I was too heated to apologize and Jaylen knew not to cross me when I was this upset. I put my hands in my jeans pockets and paced back and forth across the porch.

  Jaylen’s meek ass just stood still and watched as I vented. “I don’t like to be lied to!” I bit my lip so hard I broke the skin and could taste the blood on my tongue. “That’s the worst fuckin’ thing you could do to me! It’s worse than spittin’ in my face!” I looked at Jaylen, “You feel me bruh!?” Jaylen remained silent but nodded his head.

  Ever since I could remember, I have always had Jaylen’s back because he was never able to stand up for himself. Especially when he flunked because the teachers felt he wasn’t socially ready to move on so they held him back.

  The other kids always made fun of Jaylen because he wasn’t as cool and confident as me, but I put a stop to that real quick. I had been into numerous fights and gotten suspended over protecting my cousin. One thing I don’t play with is my family.

  Since it seemed like we were thrown into the same situation of being born to two different women who didn’t give a damn about us, made the two of us develop a rock solid relationship.

  “Man, let’s walk!” I stepped off all four steps at once.

  “Where to?” Jaylen followed behind me like a puppy on a leash.

  “See if Q at the crib.” No sooner did we reach the corner, rain poured down in huge portions. “Fuck!” Me and Jaylen swooped our hoodies onto our heads and ran back to the house.

  “Hop in!” I motioned for Jaylen to get into the passenger’s side of Ma’s car.

  Jaylen thought we were just going to sit inside to get shelter from the rain until I inserted a key and the car came roaring to life. “I thought Grandma wouldn’t let you get the key.” Jaylen looked nervously at the front door for any signs of Ma.

  “She didn’t. I been made a copy of the key.” I zoom off before Ma could make it outside.

  For a while, we drove around in silence.

  “Aw dang!”

  “What’s the matter?”

  “I was supposed to pick of Symph and Q and hit up the movies.”

  “Oh, it’s cool, you can just drop me off at Spirits’ if you want.”

  “If that’s what you want. But you know you can roll with us.”

  “Maybe another time.” I knew Jaylen was going to decline anyway because he and Quincy didn’t mesh to well in the first place.

  “What do you think is up with that strange Nigga, anyway?” I ask Jaylen but all he did was shrug his shoulders as if he didn’t know.

  I had finally calmed down. I didn't like to let anything or anyone get me out of my hook-up. On the rare occasion it did, I wouldn't stay there too long without working out some kind of plan to get over it.

  "How can you just sit over there and be so quiet? Don't nothing get you out your hook-up?” I turn back onto our street heading for Spirit’s apartment.

  "Not as much as it does you."

  "What the hell is that supposed to mean? If it wasn't for me gettin' out my hook-up... nigga they would still be messin’ with you."

  Jaylen shrugs his shoulders as if saying he didn't care either way.

  "I just can’t seem to shake that dude; you know what I'm saying?”

  Jaylen nods his head in agreement and bite his thumbnail as if he was trying to remove the skin and get to the bone.

  "What really pisses me off... is they act like we 'supposed to know this dude! Like we saw him before or some shit.”

  Silence.

  Jaylen continued to gnaw at his thumb and then he quit... “I have.”

  I pressed on the breaks so hard it made
the back of the car spin into the middle of the street sideways.

  20 CHAPTER TWENTY

  AMBER STYLES

  Instead of a priority, you made me an option. So now you're history, lost and forgotten.