The Year of Falling in Love

  "What about my mom? Lynn said she was dead, but I still want to find out more about her."

  "We will. I have a friend who's a retired cop. He might know where we can start."

  "Man, you have all sorts of awesome friends, don't you?"

  "I'm telling you. These retirement communities are where all the cool kids go."

  We trade a smile and a hug, and then she shoos me out of the room, telling me to get my butt to bed.

  But I pause in the doorway and quickly tell her about the car I saw everywhere.

  "What do you think about it?" I ask when I've finished telling her.

  Her forehead creases as she shakes her head. "I'm really not sure, hon. It might just be Hannah trying to mess with you like Indigo said, but I think we should keep our eyes open and be extra careful. Don't go wandering off anywhere alone. If you do see it again, try to get the plate number."

  "Why? Are you going to have your cop friend run the plates?" I'm partially joking, so it surprises me when she nods.

  "Yep. I sure as hell am," she says. "If someone's harassing you, I'll track the bastard or bitch down."

  I smile at that. "Love you, Grandma."

  She fluffs a pillow, getting ready to climb into bed. "Love you, too, sweetie. I'm really glad you're here."

  Her words warm my soul.

  I head out of her room, feeling better than I did earlier today. Before I go to the guestroom, I check on Kai. He's fast asleep with the blanket kicked off, murmuring something about ninja kicking someone's ass. I giggle under my breath at how cute he looks then head to the guestroom and climb into bed.

  As I lie there, trying to fall asleep, I tell myself everything will be okay, that I just need to do what my grandma says and focus on being a teenager. But in reality, I know there's no way I can do that, not with everything going on.

  I'm afraid I won't ever find out who my mom really was. I'm afraid I will find out Lynn was right, that she was a terrible person who did terrible things and gave me up to my dad because she didn't want me anymore. I realize right then and there what might just be one of my greatest fears.

  That my mother might have never wanted me.

  Chapter 12

  Kai

  I wake up to the smell of eggs and bacon. At first, I can't figure out where the hell I am. My mom used to cook breakfast, but she stopped when Kyler graduated because he was hardly ever there anymore.

  "It's pointless to cook breakfast for just you and me," she told me when I griped about it. "And you know how much your father hates the smell of bacon."

  So when the scent of bacon hits my nostrils, I'm like, wait, where the fuck am I? As I lay still with my eyes shut, I manage to figure out that I'm on a sofa in a house that doesn't seem to have a working heater and that the person in the kitchen is an older woman who likes to sing 90s rap songs while she cooks.

  "What's up with the 90s flashback?" a girl asks. Her voice is familiar, but I can't place a face with it.

  "Hey, don't mock my music," the older woman retorts. "We all have our guilty pleasures, like you and those silly, little riddles you think are so funny but are really stupid."

  Shit. Did I do something stupid last night, like go to a party and pass out on someone's couch? It kind of sounds like something I'd do, but I don't think it's what I did, especially when I was so worried about Isa ...

  Bits and pieces rush back to me. Mapleview. The hit over the head. My car getting messed up. Calling Isa. After that, things become blurry, but I remember being looked at by a doctor in Isa's grandma's house and playing with Isa's hair ...

  I open my eyes, slowly realizing where I am and why my head feels like it's been run over by a truck.

  "Aw, good morning sunshine," Indigo, Isa's cousin, greets me from across the living room. "Feeling better?"

  I sit up, wincing as my body groans in protest. "Kind of." I press my finger to my temple as my head pulsates in pain and dizziness overcomes me. "Where's Isa?"

  Just behind her, an older woman I haven't met before stands near a stove. Her eyes shift from the pans to me. "My lovely granddaughter is in bed, sleeping, and we're going to let her sleep because she deserves it." Her tone is firm, her eyes hard, but I detect the slightest bit of amusement in her expression.

  "I completely agree." I rub my eyes, planting my feet on the floor. "What time is it?"

  Indigo leans back and checks the time on something in the kitchen. "It's after ten. Why?" Her gaze lands on me. "You got somewhere else to be?"

  Umm ... I'm not sure what to say. While I need to go and have a little chat with Big Doug and get my phone back, I don't have much else to do. But I'm not sure if they want me to leave or what.

  "No. Not really." I put on my best charming grin. "Well, except for spend the day paying back Isa. I owe her big time." And I need to tell her about her mom. I just hope I can do it the right way, without her getting mad at me. Is there even a right way to break it to someone that their mom's in jail for murder?

  "Good boy," Isa's grandma says to me, looking pleased. "That girl needs to be doted over. She's special, even if she doesn't realize it. She should be treated like a princess."

  "Grandma Stephy," Indigo hisses under her breath. "Don't say shit like that. Isa would be so embarrassed right now if she heard you."

  "I'm just saying what needs to be said." Her grandma flips over the bacon in the pan with a fork. "Besides, Isa can't get embarrassed over something she doesn't know about." She looks at me, waiting for me to agree with her.

  I raise my hands up in front of me. "I won't utter a word."

  "Good boy," she says again, making me feel like an obedient dog. "That's exactly what Isa needs."

  Indigo wavers between being irritated and amused. "What's with you and trying to play matchmaker lately?" she asks her grandma. "Or should I say playing matchmaker for Isa? With me, you're always so anti-boyfriend."

  Her grandma points the fork she's holding at Indigo. "You don't need any more boys in your life. You have enough."

  "There's no such thing as enough boys." Indigo props her elbows on the countertop of the kitchen island. "That's like saying there's enough air."

  "Or enough cheese in your eggs," her grandma says as she sprinkles cheese to the eggs.

  "No, there's definitely such a thing as enough cheese." Indigo glares at her. "So stop putting so much in."

  "There's no such thing as enough cheese in eggs," her grandma quips. "You could put a whole damn block in there, and there'd still be room for more."

  "Don't you ever put a block of cheese in any eggs I'm eating," Indigo warns, sinking onto a barstool.

  "Why? Afraid your pipes are going to get backed up?" Her grandma sneers as the pans hiss.

  I clear my throat, trying to cover up a laugh.

  "No, that's your problem, not mine," Indigo says. "That's probably why you have to eat so much damn yogurt and bran flakes. To clear out all that cheese."

  "Would you guys quit arguing? You're worse than an old, married couple," Isa mumbles as she trudges out of the hallway.

  She's wearing her pajamas, and her hair's braided to the side. She doesn't have a drop of makeup on, so I get a clear view of those cute, little freckles she has on her cheeks and nose.

  "Hey, I take that offensively, miss," her grandma scolds Isa but then grins. "Your grandfather and I rarely fought unless it was over the remote or who got to drive or who had to shovel the snow from the driveway ..." Her grin broadens. "Okay, maybe you're right."

  "I'm always right." Isa yawns, stretching her arms above her head. The tank top she's wearing rides up, revealing her stomach. "It's about time you learned that."

  I subtly check her out, but apparently, I'm being obvious because Indigo gives me a you're-so-busted-buddy look.

  I shrug and smile, giving her my best innocent look, and she laughs.

  Isa's arms fall to the side, and she quickly turns around to see what Indigo's laughing at.

  "Oh, you're awake." She chews on
her thumbnail, seeming nervous for some reason. "When I came and checked on you a half an hour ago, you were so passed out that I thought you were gonna sleep all day."

  "The bacon woke me up."

  God, there's so much I want to say to her. I want to thank her a thousand times, hug her for taking care of me last night, kiss her just because. But with her grandma and cousin standing there, watching us, I feel too on the spot. I mean, I'm not shy or anything, but it's a conversation that I kind of want to have without an audience.

  "Will you guys quit being so weird?" Isa begs her grandma and cousin. "He's not used to your sparkling personalities."

  "Yeah, I'm not buying that." Her grandma throws a glance in my direction. "After some of the stuff he said last night, I'm guessing he's just as big a weirdo as us."

  Okay, I can handle being called weird, but what the hell did I say last night?

  "They're cool, Isa." I motion for her to come over to me. "Come and sit down by me. There's some stuff I need to talk to you about."

  "He said that a lot last night, too," Indigo says, smirking at me. When Isa gives her a pleading look, she elevates her hands in front of her. "Fine. I'll shut my mouth." She wanders over to the fridge and starts digging around in it, disregarding her grandma's lecture about staying out of stuff.

  "Hey." Isa winds around the coffee table and stops in front of me. "Sorry if they woke you up."

  "They're fine. It's their house." When she doesn't sit down by me, I reach for her hand and pull her toward me. "Come here. You're too far away."

  She's hesitant as she sits down, leaning away from me and keeping her eyes on the floor.

  Shit. How bad did I mess up last night?

  "Okay, I just want to apologize for whatever I did or said last night." I clear my throat. "I can't remember much, but I'm getting the feeling I might have been an ass."

  "You weren't an ass." She nudges her shoulder into mine, giving me a small smile. "And even if you were, you had a concussion, so anything you did totally didn't count."

  I frown, touching my head. "Fuck. I almost forgot about the concussion." I let my hand fall to my lap. "How bad do I look right now on a scale of one to ten?"

  "I don't know ..." She bites her bottom lip, mulling it over. "I mean, you always look good. Everyone knows it. You know it." She grows flustered. "Why are you asking me this?"

  She's seriously so adorable right now I almost can't stand it. It takes all of my willpower not to reach out and brush my finger across her flushed cheek.

  "Technically, I meant how bad does my face look, but it's good to know I always look good." I wink at her. "And that you think so."

  "Oh, my God." Her cheeks turn bright red as she lowers her head, letting her hair fall forward and hide her face. "I'm tired, okay? Can you just forget I said that?"

  "No way. You can't take it back." My mouth turns upward into a smug smile. "Once you say something like that, it'll always be there for me to replay over and over again. And trust me; I will replay it over and over again."

  "I'm sure you will." She grimaces, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. The movement sparks a memory of last night--me ... lying on her lap ... playing with her hair ... telling her she's gorgeous.

  Okay, maybe that's why she's acting uncomfortable.

  It seems like maybe I should feel bad for making her feel that way, but I don't. The only thing I regret is that I wasn't very coherent when I put my head on her lap and ran my fingers through her hair. I can't even remember what it felt like.

  I almost reach over and sweep her hair away from her face, but out of the corner of my eye, I catch her grandma watching us like a hawk.

  "So, are you going to tell me what you were doing out in Mapleview?" Isa asks, changing the subject. "You weren't really clear about that last night. I mean, you said a couple of things about Big Doug, but nothing specific."

  I scratch my chin. "It's kind of a long story."

  "Well, we've got all day." She bites back a smirk. "Because you and I are going to the city to go shopping with Indigo."

  I arch a brow. "Oh, we are, are we?"

  She nods, grinning. "Which means we'll have plenty of time in the car for you to tell me everything."

  By everything, I'm pretty sure she means the thing with T, too. I hate the idea of telling everything. Knowing Isa, she's going to want to help me, and I don't want her getting involved. I probably shouldn't have even called her last night. But her number was the only contact in my phone I have memorized.

  "You're not thinking about lying to me, are you?" Isa suddenly asks, eyeing me over suspiciously. "Because you have this look on your face like you're trying to think of some bull crap story to tell me."

  "No ... It's not that."

  "Good. Because I want you to trust me."

  "I do trust you." And I really fucking do, more than anyone.

  What Isa did for me last night--offering to pick me up then getting a doctor to come here and look at me because I was being a pain in the ass and refusing to go to the hospital--was one of the most kind, caring things someone has done for me. She's so damn amazing, more than I think she realizes.

  "Good, because I trust you, too." The smile that lights up her face makes me feel like an asshole.

  I think about the talk Big Doug and I had yesterday and how I still haven't told Isa about her mom. I don't know when the right time is or if there's a right time. What I do know is that the longer I wait, the worse it's going to be. It might be time to just tell her while she's here with her grandma and cousin--a whole support system. Although, I sort of want to see what's in the folder Big Doug gave to me. He said it might be helpful. It might be able to soften the blow.

  "Did I by chance bring a folder with me?" I ask. God, I hope I didn't leave it in my car that doesn't have a window. My car that I have no clue what to do with. I'm in such a mess.

  Isa nods. "Yeah, you had it in the car with you last night. I think you left it in there. Do you need to go and get it?"

  Nodding, I stand up. The room spins around me as the blood rushes from my head, and I sway sideways.

  It must scare Isa or something, because she jumps to her feet, and her fingers fold around my arm.

  "Kai, the doctor said to take it easy. You have to move slowly and don't overexert yourself." Taking ahold of my hand, she positions herself in front of me and looks me in the eye. "I'll go and get your folder. You stay here and get something to eat."

  "No, I need to get it."

  "Why?"

  "Because ..." I struggle for words, knowing once I say them, it's going to break her. I'm going to have to be the one to break her. "Walk with me out there, okay?"

  I can tell she senses something is wrong, because she doesn't press.

  Gripping onto her hand, I head for the door. She walks beside me as we step outside. When the cool morning air makes her shiver, I untangle my fingers from hers to take off my jacket and offer it to her.

  "Aw, look at you and your gentlemen skills," she jokes, putting on my jacket. "If my grandma saw this, she'd probably try to marry us on the spot. She loves guys who act like a gentleman."

  "I could live with that. In fact, it might be a dream come true." I wink at her, drape an arm around her shoulders, and guide her toward the parking lot.

  "Ha! You're such a liar," she says, pointing a finger at me. "That's more like your worst nightmare."

  "Quit being a little weirdo. You're not worst nightmare material. That's on the level of marrying someone like, say, Hannah." I purposely drag my gaze up and down her body. "You'd make a pretty hot wife."

  She rolls her eyes then looks away, either to hide a smile or a blush.

  "Speaking of Hannah." She returns her attention to me. "What happened two summers ago? Because I've been dying to ask you. She looked so worried when you said that to her yesterday, so I know it has to be something bad."

  Two summers ago ... It was such a shitty summer for the most part. My dad spent a lot of time pissed
off at me because I wasn't spending enough time working out for the upcoming season, at least not as much as Kyler was.

  "I don't get it," he said to me. "I don't get how one of my son's can be so lazy, while the other one is so motivated."

  Lazy meant working out five days instead of seven, and the only reason I wasn't doing seven is because I got a part-time job to save up some money for a car. That didn't matter in his eyes. In his eyes, I should've still been able to work out seven days and keep the job.

  Toward the end, though, when Hannah accidentally revealed a secret, things weren't so bad, mostly because I knew the secret could become useful one day.

  I smile at the memory. "I'll tell you." But then my smile vanishes. "But I have to tell you something else first, something important."

  "Is it about T?"

  I move my arm from her shoulder to hold her hand. "It's actually something about you ... or, well, your mom."

  Her hand trembles in mine. "It's bad, isn't it?"

  Worried what she might do when I break the news to her, I grasp her hand for dear life. "Maybe."

  Confusion swirls in her eyes. "What do you mean maybe? Either it's bad or it's not."

  She's starting to panic, which makes me want to take it all back, tell her I was joking, that I found out nothing. I want to lie to avoid breaking her heart, but I hate lying, and I know she would hate me if she ever found out.

  "At first, it seemed bad." I pull her closer to me. "But then Big Doug gave me another file yesterday and said it might not be as bad as he originally thought."

  Her confusion deepens. "Wait, how long have you known about this?"

  "For two days. I was actually heading to tell you when I found you crying on the sidewalk. I wanted to tell you then, but you were so upset and I ... I just didn't want to hurt you more."

  I'm uncertain how she's going to take it. I'm sure some people would get angry for not telling them the second they found out. Isa doesn't seem angry, though, just worried.

  "Are you okay?" I ask, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear with my free hand.

  "I don't know." Her bottom lip quivers. "You haven't told me what it is yet."