Commencement

Even on a Sunday, trying to get from the west side to the east side and back again was a challenge. Tamiko and Allen were heading home after driving over to Leona’s Afro-Carribean bakery to pick up a bread pudding to be served as a dessert for the Sunday dinner that his parents were hosting for Pastor Bynum and his family. As they drove home, Allen couldn’t help but think about Tamiko’s behavior at church. Looking at her in that yellow silk dress and matching car coat, pillbox hat and pearls, she looked every bit the pastor’s daughter. Tamiko had always been “Little Miss Perfect” when they were kids, but even she had some of the playful imp in her. He could remember when they were younger and they used to make fun of the “shouting sisters” in the church. Allen, Jim and Tamiko would be down at the park and Allen would pretend to be the preacher and Jim and Tamiko would pretend to be the congregation. Allen would start to preach and make the silly noises some preachers made when they preached. “And the Lord said….ah-hah- let there be light….ah-hah” and then Jim and Tamiko would pretend to shout and dance like the holy roller shoutin’ sisters. They would crack themselves up for hours doing this. One time Tamiko’s mom saw them and scolded them for “playing with God”, but then Tamiko would be back with them the next day or week to play the same game. Sitting next to her now, he couldn’t help but wonder at how she had changed. The same things she used to make fun of, she now seemed to take very seriously. Allen didn’t know how to feel about it, whether her actions were pitiable or contemptible. In any case it totally explained her actions last night at Manna’s.

  “What? Why are you looking at me like that?” asked Tamiko.

  “Just wondering about something, that’s all” Allen smirked.

  “About what?”

  “About when you became such a Holy Roller?”

  “What do you mean Holy Roller?!” replied Tamiko defensively.

  “It’s just that I’ve never seen you get so emotional in church before. It took me by surprise that’s all.”

  “Why’s that? If you have a connection to God, you can’t helped but be moved by him.”

  “C’mon, Miko, I believe in God just like any other Christian, but to be so emotional about it. I could expect something like this from our parents, they’re from another era, but I didn’t think you would succumb to such…such...superstition.”

  Tamiko’s eyes widened with disbelief.

  “Here we go again. Are you saying that there isn’t any possibility that people can experience the power and presence of God? And what’s all this about ‘superstition’ and how I should know better?”

  “I’m not saying that people can’t experience the presence of God. I know that everyone experiences God in their own way, but I don’t think it has to be accompanied by all the crying out, shouting, babbling and falling out that I see every Sunday. They’re just going by feelings and emotions. Reacting to the music and the atmosphere. It’s all in their heads.”

  “And I thought you just said that everyone has their own way of worshiping and experiencing God. So why are you judging this particular way as being crazy or stupid?”

  “I know it sounds harsh, Miko, but even you have to admit it’s all like a game of musical chairs. When the music stops, they stop.”

  “That’s just some people, not everybody. Not me. Not your mom.”

  “Don’t remind me.”

  “Are you saying that you’re too smart to be touched by the power of God?”

  “I never said that I couldn’t be touched by God, I just don’t think that’s how He operates.”

  “And just how does He operate?”

  “Like…like…by arranging circumstances, maybe. I don’t know.”

  “So He would never make anyone fall down and just cry out to Him. He could never have someone speak in tongues, nothing like that. Right?”

  “How does anyone know how He operates? He’s up there and we’re down here.”

  “If you read the Bible more often you would know. It’s not just a bunch of allegories. It’s a true historical account. He often speaks to us through his Word.”

  “If you say so.”

  “Well, if you don’t believe in his Word, then why believe in God at all?”

  “I have been wondering that lately.”

  “Because things in your life haven’t turned out the way you planned and you didn’t get that dream job?”

  “It’s not that simple, Tamiko.”

  “Explain it to me, then.”

  “Look, I’ve worked hard all of my life. I’m a good person and I live by the golden rule. I go to church every Sunday and give my tithes and everything. Now, shouldn’t there be some type of reward for all that? If not, then what’s the point?”

  “Allen, we don’t just serve God so that we can get the things we want. When you serve God it’s not all about you. It’s about Him. And there’s more to serving God than just going to church, paying tithes, and being a good person. It’s about having a relationship with Him.”

  “Now you’re getting all deep on me. I’m starting to worry about you.”

  “I don’t know, Allen. If, after everything God has done in your life, you can’t understand why people like me and your mom praise Him like we do, I think the person you need to worry about is yourself.”

  “You certainly have changed is all I’ll say. And I’ll leave it at that.”

  “And I’ll leave it at this. When I was a child I spoke as a child, but when I grew up I put away childish things.1 We’re adults Allen. People need to grow up spiritually too. It’s time to stop playing saved and get saved.”

  The car stopped. They had been conversing for so long, Allen didn’t even realize when they had pulled into the driveway of the brownstone. Without another word, Tamiko opened the door to her side of the car, got out and slammed the door. She didn’t mean to, for Tamiko wasn’t really angry at Allen, but disappointed in him. She always thought Allen was a good, moral, person and had just assumed that this was somehow connected to his upbringing in the church and his relationship with God. The possibility of Allen becoming an apostate to the faith was chilling. However, she hoped the words she had spoken would sink into his heart. Allen was still inside unfastening his seatbelt, and indeed felt very guilty about “offending” Tamiko. He was about to leave the car when he caught a glimpse of something in the rear-view mirror. It was the bread pudding. Given what he believed was Tamiko’s attitude, Allen thought the dessert would be the only thing he could look forward to enjoying during dinner.

  Thirteen