A Wayward God

golden feathers. The crowd gasped and cheered and murmured about how glorious I looked. I stretched my wings with an uncontainable grin. It had been so long to keep one’s soul buried deep within. To stretch it out was energizing and freeing.

  And I remembered, for the first time in thousands of years, the good things about going among mortals. It made you feel sick and tired—but it also made you feel alive—my spirit bloomed back, and for a moment, I felt like I didn’t need Justice and Vengeance. I had my old free-spirited self back. The me that was strong enough to stand on his own two feet; but then I had another memory

  I stood, looking lost at the people who looked upon me and admired me. I couldn’t go back there. I could not handle the stress and the hard emotions that came with mortal emotions. The stress that came with caring about anyone who was not yourself.

  I went back inside the inn, and my wings retracted back into my body, and it sunk down to where I was safe and I felt nothing. I breathed in and clutched my head in my hands.

  I just couldn’t get those memories out of my head!

  I broke down, hugged my knees and cried. Despair breaking my spirit and crashing down on me as it did once before.

  I felt Vengeance taking over, and I had to stop him. I realized the hard truth. If I wanted to save the two people I loved in this world, I had to tell them the truth.

  About Everything.

  I was running down the cloudy stairs. I had a smile on my face, carrying a frog in my hands, and I ran into my brother. He smiled at me. “Just what are you up to?” He knelt down so he could look me in the eye, as I was still just a child at this point. “Well… I went to The Below and I found this cute creature! I call him Sahl.”

  Me and my brother were similar, but dissimilar as well. One difference was that he was a blue God, and I was a red God. Like all Gods, we had very long, graceful necks, slender fingers, and helms that had fake wings attached to them. My brother had two incredibly black eyes, and silver hair. He always looked the stronger of the two of us—large muscles—while I was bonier and wiry. Most of us Gods were ten feet tall.

  “He’s cute,” Chandra said in his quiet way. He petted the frog, and I giggled. My eye was itchy suddenly, so I closed it and rubbed it against the frog.

  “Joshua!” Chandra said, a little grossed out, taking the frog away. “You’ve only one eye! You ought to treat it with respect.”

  I blinked my one red eye and grinned sheepishly. “You worry too much.”

  Mr. Smalls laughed for a moment, and then he paused and frowned. I looked up at him. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing,” He said with a tired smile. He handed Sahl back to me, and he walked off. I shrugged. I climbed up the long stairs I just walked down. They were much larger than I was, and I put the frog on the next step before I climbed up, step by step.

  When I made it to the top of the steps again, I sat and watched the sun rise in the distance, and further in the distance, I could see the giant mountain which me and my brother had sprung from. I clutched Sahl closer to me. I saw Chandra standing on the mountain in the distance, and I slowly saw the mountain transform into a giant God who stood up and began walking. My brother seemed to be having an altercation with the God.

  “Chandra… I’m bored. Can you play with me?” It had been forever since my brother played with me—a year to be precise—but we used to play all the time… I missed him.

  Oh, I’m sorry Joshua. I’ve been busy with my occupation lately, at this point; Chandra had started communicating through his mind. Would you like to play?

  I nodded. “Yes! C’mon!” I grabbed his hand and started dragging him to an open place to play. “Close your eyes!” I added.

  He smiled and obeyed. I grabbed his present and plopped it in his hands. “Open.” I said.

  He opened them, and seemed touched. Really Joshua… I don’t need any gifts.

  “Well, you seem down lately. Just open it, you’ll like it!” I demanded.

  He slowly unwrapped the gift and pulled a fancy bracelet out. Chandra was impressed. “Joshua, this is amazing…. Did you make this?”

  I nodded. “I worked on it for months, roaming The Below for unique ornaments to put on it. Of course, I had Art tell me what to do. Do you like it?”

  He put it on, and smiled. “It’s beautiful, thank you Joshua,” he threw his arms about me. Now, what do you want to play? He asked, ruffling my hair.

  When I was older, Chandra approached me. I was holding Sahl in my arms at the stop of the steps, and I ran up to my brother when I saw him coming. I hardly ever saw him anymore. You’ve grown so big… Chandra said with a proud smile.

  “Do you want to play, Chandra?”

  He looked away. Not right now, Joshua. Come, Father wants to meet you.”

  “What…?” I’d never met father before. I was scared to.

  Don’t worry; I’ll be there with you.

  “What is Father like?” I asked, clutching Sahl a little closer.

  You will see. He said enigmatically.

  “I don’t want to go… I’m scared.” I protested.

  It will be fast. I promise nothing bad will happen.

  He zapped down to The Below, in front of the mountain, and I followed him afterwards. My powers were clumsy at this point, so I accidentally ended up in the wrong place. I warped to the correct place afterwards. It was night, and it was cold. This was the time when Gods could go among mortals, before we discovered it was bad for them. This was also a time when the air was clean of the vapors, and the night air smelled so clean and wide, that I still remember it to this day. I loved The Below before. It was like this entirely brand new exciting place that had surprises around each corner. It was a place of pleasure with wide open pastures and endless adventures. I could explore The Below for hours, just happy and excited seeing what I could find.

  But there was one place I never went near. The giant mountain that my brother and I had sprung from. Chandra told me never to go near that mountain unless he told me to. But even if he hadn’t told me to, I wouldn’t go near it anyway. It was the most ominous place in The Below I had ever seen.

  The mountain was dark. And it cast a shadow for miles, and it was as if even the sky above created a gloomy, swirling shade above it. Still holding my frog, I approached the foot of the mountain.

  Joshua, Chandra said, why don’t you hand me Sahl for a moment?

  I swallowed. I passed the frog over to Chandra. “What do I do?”

  Chandra grabbed my shoulders and dragged me back a bit. He will appear to us.

  A few moments of silence passed, and the gigantic mountain slowly morphed into a giant, dark God with dark brown skin, red eyes, and grey hair and beard. He reached about fifty feet up into the sky, and I trembled in fear. I stepped behind Chandra and hid.

  I heard a deep, booming voice that made me fall to the ground and cover my ears, but I realized after a moment that the voice was in my head.

  Pathetic… my Father said. You’ve coddled him Chandra. Because of this, I must give him his designation earlier than I wanted. Joshua, step before me,

  I stayed where I was, but Chandra worriedly touched my shoulder gently. Come Yeshua; don’t make things worse for yourself. He used my real name, which I knew meant business.

  I stood and faced my Father, straightening my posture, but still trembling. “What is it you wish from me Father?”

  …you may not call me Father until you earn that right. For now, you will call me Destruction. Do you know what your brother does, Yeshua?

  I looked at Chandra, and then back at Destruction. “He… sets souls free when they have become old or damaged.”

  Has he been telling you lies? His job is to kill mortals. There is nothing graceful about what he does. But it is needed. What you will do is needed as well. Things need to decay as well as prosper. That is your job. If the land has been prospering for too long, you must make it decay. If mortals have been prosperi
ng for too long, you must make them decay.

  I looked at my feet, sad. Decay?

  Chandra looked at me with dread and fear.

  But it was too late. Too soft? Shall I make you practice on that frog?

  My eye widened. “What?”

  Do it. Make him suffer, and Chandra will ‘set him free’. Destruction ordered me.

  “No! You can’t make me do that! Sahl is an innocent animal!” I raised my voice. Few things got me upset back then, but I remember my chest thumping so fast when he said that, I couldn’t hear myself think.

  Maybe I should be rid of you if you are useless then. I only need one son.

  Chandra was looking absolutely devastated, on the verge of tears, but he kept it together. Yeshua… you must do what he asks.

  “No! What is wrong with you? What kind of monster turns a blind eye to the suffering of an innocent creature just to protect his own hide? Kill me if you want.”

  Chandra looked at me miserably and shook his head. Listen to me…

  But I heard a loud screaming in my head. So loud and torturous, I thought my mind would blow up. I screamed in pain. It was a sound so indescribably awful that I’ve never been able to get it out of my head in my life. It was that sound that played over and over whenever I felt too much.

  But what was more traumatic was what followed afterwards.

  Destruction tortured my frog until he was on his last breath, and my brother finished him.

  I could never forget that. It was like the moment that defined my very soul.

  I was silent