Shattered

  “You can’t fix it Angel. She needs to be able to fix this on her own, you won’t always be there. If she wants your help she’ll ask for it.”

  I didn’t care that my sister was probably right I still wanted to throttle the shit out of her. Jas was hurting and because I was away for so long, I had no clue what had happened. I know that look of panic and fear wasn’t from her brother’s death. This was definitely something else.

  I turned to leave and find Jas, but not before Kris grabbed my arm, “She’s a lot stronger than you’re giving her credit for. When she’s ready, she will come to you.” I knew my sis meant well, but I promised her brother Jay even after our little rift, that I would always look after her and protect her. Not being here fucked me up from keeping my word. Now that I was back, I needed to make up for all the lost time I missed. I need to keep my promise to Jay.

  CHAPTER 2

  Stupid, stupid stupid! Shouldn’t have run out like that. Damn near caused a scene and now Angel was sure as shit going to press me about what happened. He didn't know; no one aside from my mom and Jay knew. Kris knew but not who and not the gritty details and Kris, as much as she adored her brother, she was loyal to a fault. She wasn't going to say anything to Angel. I had to make my way back to the party. At the very least, I had to give Kris back her keys so she had a ride home. I wasn't paying attention to where I was going and I hit a brick wall.

  "Oof, why you don't watch where you’re going, Jas? Geez! Your big head hurts man."

  "Yea, well you mammoth thing, you gave me a concussion. Geez your chest is hard." I looked up, he was grinning...the stupid head.

  No one told you to barrel into me like that sweetheart."

  "Yea well you shouldn’t have been standing there. What are you doing leaving your own party anyway? Kris is going to kill you."

  "No she's not, and I was leaving to look for you."

  Angel

  Man, had this been a different situation, I would have laughed at the look on her face, like it was impossible for someone to give a shit enough to track her stubborn ass down. "My question though, why are you coming back after you ran out of there?"

  The defiance flashed in her eyes. If there was one thing that hadn't changed since I've been gone, it was Jasmine's defiant streak. She had a serious issue with authority and being called a chicken. It was annoying and cute back when she was younger. Now though? Now, it was causing the blood to flow south for some strange reason I refused to think about now. She crossed her arms over her chest pushing her boobs forward, causing my dick to twitch. Oh boy.

  "I didn't run, I simply needed some air. I was going to go for a walk when I realized I still had Kris keys. So I came back to give them to her. Now why are you looking for me? I can take care of myself."

  I didn't doubt it. I took a step toward her and she backed up dropping her hands changing her feet into a fighting stance. I know she wasn't seriously going to try to take me. What the hell happened to her that she couldn't even trust me? Changing tactics, "You still want to go for that walk?"

  She eyed me cautiously, "Why do you want to know?"

  "Give me the keys, I’ll give them to Kris and we can drive anywhere you want to get your air."

  "No that's okay. I’ll just stay and wait for her to drive me home."

  I let out a breath; of course, she would be difficult, shit was her middle name, "look Jas, you clearly needed some air or you wouldn't have run. And shut up, because you did run. I won't ask any questions we can go any were you want. Now, keys please!"

  For what seemed like forever, she smiled and finally caved, handing over the keys. "Who knew you could say please?"

  Smartass. I turned around looking for someone to give Kris her keys. I spotted Chase and called him over, "Yo Chase, make sure Kris gets her keys and let her know Jas is with me." Chase came took the keys, eyeing me and Jas too long for comfort.

  He smiled, "good luck," and walked back into the house.

  "What was that about?"

  "Don't know." But I did and I really, really hoped Chase was just trying to be funny.

  Chase

  I walked back into the party. Kris was off talking to some dude who was looking at her with stars in his eyes. The poor dude didn’t stand a chance, no one did. But that didn’t stop people from trying. She was 5’3, the runt of the pack, but that never stopped her from demanding and commanding attention. Everyone was drawn to her like a moth to a flame. She turned looking in my direction smiling brightly. Kristal had an amazing smile. It lit up her entire face and brightened any dark clouds in someone’s life. I loved watching her smile.

  She started walking towards me, her smile still in place. She had on these high heels making her appear taller than she was. The shoes did amazing things to her already incredible legs. One day I planned to have my face buried in between those amazing legs, devouring every single drop of her essences. But not yet.

  She had on this red dress that hugged every inch of her curves. Every damn step she took made my dick throb. I watched her smile change into a sexy sensual smile and humor filled her hazel eyes. She relished in tormenting me, the little minx.

  She stopped in front of me, “Hi Chase. Do you like my dress?” She began to twirl showing me an amazing view of her backside. I shoved my hand in her hair pulling her back towards me. She wobbled a little bit, but I placed my other hand on her hip steadying her, pushing her as close to my body as possible. The second she came in contact with my hard-on, we both inhaled sharply. What I wouldn’t give for just one small taste. I was at her neck; I pressed a simple soft kiss to her pulse.

  “Chase!” She all but moaned out, “I know Hun, but you know it too and you enjoy teasing me anyway. It’s only fair to pay you back in kind. One day though,” I took a small bite in that sweet spot between her ear and neck and her breath quickened. “One day you will submit to me, my love. And when you do the only thing you will see, touch and taste is me.”

  I stepped back from her before I lost any more of my control, the control Kris seemed to enjoy testing damn near all the time. Though she had no intention of following through, she enjoyed watching my come unhinged. She turned back around and her face was flushed with such a pretty shade of pink. “That’s not fair Chase.”

  “And neither is what you do to me Hun.”

  “I don’t do anything to you Chase.”

  “My throbbing hard-on happens to think otherwise, but before I forget, Angel told me to give you these.” I tossed the keys at her, not trusting myself to touch her.

  “Why did he have my keys?”

  “He didn’t. Jasmine did. He just told me to make sure you got them.” Her face went blank; it was hard to figure out what she was thinking.

  “He’s taking her home?”

  “I didn’t get that impression, love. That’s not a problem is it?”

  “Why would it be a problem? He only left his party that I threw for him, to drive Jasmine around.”

  “Well, you actually don’t know that. He could have just been taking her home.”

  “And if he’s not?”

  “Well not much for them to do; everything is closed. Besides their just friends, maybe they just want to catch up somewhere quiet.” I know she didn’t believe that. They could’ve played catch up here Kris.

  She crossed her arms under her chest and my eyes zeroed in on the movement. I wonder if it’s possible to die from a case of massive blue balls.

  “Why should I believe that Chase? Do you know something I don’t?”

  Just the yearning Angel had in his eyes. He looked at Jas the same way I looked at Kris. That look a person has when they want something they know they shouldn’t have. “Na I don’t know anything Hun. Come on, let’s go enjoy the party.”

  CHAPTER 3

  We drove around for a while in deafening silence. I looked over to the driver’s side to see Angel brooding like a big baby. He was clearly trying to figure out the best way to get around the whole no questions thin
g. “Dude, I know you’re dying to ask me something; you might as well just do it.”

  “Where do you want to go?” If he wasn’t driving the car, I would have hit him upside the head.

  “That’s not what you want to ask me.”

  He chuckled, “Actually yea it is. Where do you want to go⎼ unless you are enjoying just driving around?” His voice was laced with sarcasm.

  The stupid headed man suggested I go with him in the first place, and yet he was tired of driving around. Well fine then, “Since we’re close to it anyway, we can go to the beach.”

  He winced, “Really?”

  I am such a shit; how the hell could I have possibly forgotten. “I’m so sorry Angel. We don’t have to go anywhere, we can just drive around or you can take me back home. I’m sorry.” He didn’t say anything. He just kept driving. So I guess home it will be. Man I am such a shit. First night back and all he wanted to do was hang out with me, and I suggest we go to the most uncomfortable place in the world for him.

  We pulled into a parking lot and he turned off the car. I turned to see his hands in a death grip on the steering wheel. I felt horrible. “Angel I told you we could just drive around.” He let out a deep breath and got out the car. He walked to my side to open the door; he could be such a gentleman. However, I had no intentions of moving, he didn’t want to be here and we shouldn’t be here.

  “Jas so help me, if you don’t get out of that car. . .” And the gentlemanly moment was gone! I rolled my eyes and got out of the car; no need to start an argument.

  Angel

  We walked quietly to the boardwalk. She wanted to be at the beach, fine. This was her happy place; I could do this small thing for her, although the mere sight of the sand was making me ill. All the American soil in the country, she picks sand. The things you do for people.

  “We could stay on the boardwalk. I forgot you don’t like the beach too much.”

  That was a lie. I used to love the beach but now its appeal didn’t do anything for me. I was supposed to be taking care of her and she was over there trying to make me comfortable. Jas loved the beach, I knew she was dying to run bare foot through the sand and let the water splash her toes. But I couldn’t bring myself to move off the boardwalk. I knew the second my feet hit the sand I would be taken back there. Taken back to that exact moment that seemed to haunt my dreams.

  “You always carry her letters around with you?”

  “Just the recent ones.”

  “She’s your girl?”

  “We just friends Tommy.”

  “That’s what I said when I first met my wife. Good luck pretty boy.” That’s when the explosions happened. Sand was flying everywhere, missiles gunshots, people shouting. I couldn’t breathe. Something was on top of me. What the hell was that smell? Was that me? What was burning?

  The nightmare threatened to come back and swallow me whole. No, not now, no PTSD now. I didn’t want to freak Jasmine out. I tried to focus on my breathing. I took a deep breath in and focused on the only thing not making me uneasy; the smell of my sweetest sin, Jasmine. Looking at her now, she wasn’t the same little girl I left. Even through her letters, I could tell she was growing into a remarkable women. Seeing her in person though, after so long⎼ she was so beautiful. Jasmine was always tall, her legs never seemed to end but when they did, they stopped to round out these amazing hips; with such a small waist. It was good to see she let her hair grow out. Now it was a mass of brown curls that cascaded down to just above her plump, round ass.

  She had an amazing body, but her face? Her beautiful face was what was with me all the years I was gone. She was always smiling. Her face was so vibrant and young, and full of so much life; she was such a happy kid. Now though, that little kid was gone. She had these sensual lips that no longer smiled but seemed to be in a permanent pout. I wanted to run my tongue across those lips; just a small, quick taste. I wanted to see if I could coax a smile out of her, watch those pretty, brown eyes open wide from surprise. Would she fight me, or would she surrender herself to me?

  She let out a sigh, “I’m sorry sweetheart. Am I boring you?” Well shit, if she was bored I sure I could find some ways to entertain her. I had to shake myself mentally. This was Jasmine not some random chick that I wanted to fuck.

  She smirked, “If I was bored you, would be in trouble Angel.” I laughed; didn’t I know it. She was one part of the terrible two. And when one of them or both of them got bored mayhem would erupt.

  * * *

  The look in Angel’s eyes told me he was remembering one of the many times Kris and me claimed boredom on our crazy antics. That was such a different time back then. We were untouchable, thought ourselves invincible. Life set me straight on that invincible shit real quick. I was watching Angel now; his body was radiating tension. I knew he didn’t want to be here but he was putting on a brave front. Four years of sand and I pick the one place that’s covered in sand. Good job Jasmine.

  “Look, I know you don’t want to be here. Let’s just go.” I made a move to pass him and he grabbed my wrist. I had to fight back the sense of panic.

  “We don’t need to leave Jasmine. I’m okay here. I told you then and I’m telling you now: anything you need I will be there for you. You need this time here; we’ll just sit here till you’re ready to leave.”

  He dropped my arm, probably sensing my panic and backed up. It was sweet of him to say, but he wasn’t there the times I needed him. “You’re only saying that because of the promise you made to my brother. I know four years in Afghanistan, four years of constant sand; you don’t want to be here. It’s okay if being here makes you a little scared.”

  His whole demeanor changed. Clearly, those must have been the wrong words to choose. “First off, even if I didn’t make that promise to your brother, I would be here for you to protect you. Nothing and no one is going to change that. Second.” He stepped closer invading my space. I would not back down: not from him not from anyone. “Second, I’m a Marine. Nothing and no one scares us.”

  I looked up at him. Did he really think he could intimidate me? Did he honestly forget who the hell he was talking to? “Oh sweetie, do you not know me? Are you honestly going to sit there and try to intimidate me with your height? This shit won’t work. I ain’t scared of shit, least of all not you.”

  No sooner had the words left my mouth did he press his lips hard against mine. He swallowed my gasp of surprise. Four years, four long years I’ve denied the touch of anyone. Is this what I was missing? Why did I ever stop? God could this man kiss. An explosion of warmth filled inside of me. His lips, his beautiful sensual lips were on mine. For the briefest of moments, I let myself be lost in him. I’ve kissed boys before; nothing and no one ever felt like this. He stepped even closer to me, bringing his hands tentatively to my hips. For a moment, I didn’t feel any panic. This was good, really good. I felt consumed by him, by his warmth and his strength. He nipped my bottom lip before, silently asking me to open for him. When I did, his tongue made his way in, tangling with mine, fighting for dominance of the pace of the kiss. I quickly surrendered and a soft moan escaped my throat. He groaned and pressed firmer on my hips bringing me closer to him.

  The panic was coming now that I was closer to him and I let him all but devour me. I made an attempt to fight off the panic attack that was creeping up. I didn‘t want this to end. It felt too damn good. So, instead of just letting the kiss happen, I let my hands roam from his shoulders to his chest. The feel of his muscles taught and flexed under my hands was a heady experience. I made my way to his waist and he snatched my hands at the wrist and held them behind my back. He kissed his way from my lips to my neck. I really tried to push the panic back, I really wanted too but I couldn’t fight it. It was coming too fast, threatening to consume me the way Angel’s kiss had done. Some rational part of my brain knew Angel wouldn’t dare hurt me but the other part wasn’t having it. I called his name as my body went stiff. He came up to look at me and I reared my head bac
k to head butt him. He dropped my hands and backed up. But it wasn’t enough that he stopped; I needed to attack, I swung wildly. He caught my wrist and pinned me up against his body. “Angel get the fuck off me now.”

  “You goin’ to try and hit me again? Relax Jasmine. I won’t hurt you but I’ll be damn if you will hurt me. You swing again and I will be forced to restrain you.”

  I tried to calm my breathing down. His hold on me loosened a little bit and I pushed off him, getting as far away as I could without being too far. I didn’t look at him. I refused to look at him or in his direction after what had just happened. Twice tonight, my panic got the better of me. The situation happened four fucking years ago. Of all times, why the fuck did this shit have to come up now? He was long gone and Angel was not him.

  Once my breathing was under control I turned to face him. He was looking at me the way you would look at a wild animal. “Angel I’m-”

  He put his hand up to cut me off. “I really wasn’t going to ask you any questions tonight. I know your stubborn ass all too well to push. But this is the second fucking time you took a swing at me. So either you tell me what the fuck happened or I will find out on my own.”

  And he would, but I had no intentions of telling him anything tonight. I needed a distraction to keep him from asking about my past, I just crossed my arms, “You want answers?” He nodded his head, “Good so do I. Why did you kiss me?” He let out a sound that sounded like a growl, “I’m taking you home now. Let’s go!”

  CHAPTER 4

  Wake up Jasmine Just wake up. Please wake up. I couldn't still be here; this was over. It’s just a dream.

  "It's not a dream you fucking bitch. You are mine and don't you ever forget that."

  The scream that tore through my throat could’ve woken up the people on the other side of the globe. My mother was at the edge of my bed squeezing my hand. I ripped my hand away, and got up out of bed. "The nightmares are back?"