Irrevocable

  Lele is in tears, and Lucia is arguing with the diagnosis and whether or not heart surgery will buy Rinaldo more time, and Nick is on the other side of the wall, listening but not included. The doctor’s expression says it all—there’s nothing they can do. Rinaldo will be gone by the weekend.

  I can’t listen anymore.

  I stand and walk away from the small conference area without a word. Lele and Lucia will just have to deal without me. I’m not family any more than Nick is, and I’m not ready for this. I’m not ready for him to be gone.

  It isn’t supposed to happen this fast.

  With my hands balled into fists, I glance down at Nick, sitting in a chair and staring at his hands clasped between his knees. He looks even worse than I feel, so I step up to talk to him.

  “You all right?” Nick startles when I speak and then glares up at me.

  “What do you think?” he snaps. “My father’s got a few days left to live, and I’m not even allowed to go back and see him. Lele won’t make eye contact, and Lucia is always with her. They let Jonathan and Becca back there but not me.”

  I nod. He’s got every right to be pissed off.

  “I’ll talk to Lucia.” I sit down next to him, and he flinches from me. “I’m sure she’ll add you to the visitor’s list. You know we were just trying to protect him.”

  “From who? Me? What exactly are we going to save him from at this point, huh? Afraid someone’s going to put him out of his misery before the cancer can take him?”

  “There are still people out there who would betray him.” I think of Beni and wonder where he’s been during all of this. I haven’t seen a sign of him in days. “People are going to wonder what happens next, and there are those who would try to move too soon.”

  “It’s bullshit.” He sits back and crosses his arms over his chest.

  “What is?”

  “All your talk about betrayal…” Nick snorts through his nose. “It’s bullshit.”

  “Nick, what are you talking about? You know situations like this can be turmoil. We have to be on the lookout to protect Rinaldo and his business.”

  Nick turns and narrows his eyes at me, and I’m taken aback by the look he gives me. Nick is always so docile; it’s strange to see him this angry.

  “You know what? Fuck it.” He points a finger at me. “I don’t care if you do kill me.”

  “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” I’m getting pissed off at his cryptic talk. “I’m not after you!”

  Nick looks around to see if anyone’s listening before leaning in close to me. He lowers his voice as he speaks.

  “It means I know what you did. I found Felisa’s bracelet in your car. I know what you did to her. You set it up to look like it was the gangs, but I know it was you.”

  My body goes a little cold as we look at each other, and I remember the remnants of the broken bracelet that must have been left in my car. I thought I had gotten them all out. I also remember Nick going quiet after I came back from the gas station. I noticed that he might have had something in his hand but didn’t think much of it. It must have been the bracelet. At least now I know what has him so tense.

  He’s right—I might kill him now.

  I can’t count the number of times someone has accused me of murder. Like now, they were usually spot-on. I’ve always approached it calmly and with threatening silence. However, I’m nowhere near calm now.

  I grab Nick by the sleeve of his shirt and pull him outside the hospital door. I glance around quickly, looking for some kind of cover. There’s not much out there besides a row of hedges, so I haul him behind them.

  I shove him against the brick wall behind the shrubs, draw my gum, and point it at his face.

  “You have some fucking balls, don’t you?”

  I can feel him shaking in my grip, but he still glares at me.

  “At least I haven’t killed anyone in the family,” he says with a sneer. “At least I am family. What are you? The adopted fucking puppy?”

  I clench my teeth, and I am seconds away from pulling the trigger. There would be witnesses, and there’s no way I’d just walk away from it. I can see people going in and out of the doors in my peripheral vision. If I’m going to kill him, I’ll have to take him out somewhere else, and he’s not going to go quietly.

  I stare at him. I stare at him and think of Rinaldo lying in his bed. This is the last thing he needs. Maybe I am the rescued dog because I’m going to continue to protect him.

  “I don’t know what you think you know,” I say quietly as I lower the gun and shove it back in my shoulder holster, “but if you think saying something to Rinaldo or Lucia is a good idea—”

  “I’m not saying anything.” Nick’s jaw stays tense as he speaks, but his tone is softer. “Just don’t think that I’m only a stupid stoner. I see shit, and I can put shit together.”

  “Nick…” His name is a warning on my tongue.

  “I think I know why you did it,” he says, “but don’t go spouting loyalty shit to me right now, okay? I’m not buying it.”

  My hands twitch, and Nick’s lucky I’ve got just enough control not to pull the gun back out again.

  “Anything and everything I do is for Rinaldo and his family.” My voice is a snarl through my teeth. “Don’t you ever forget that, bastard.”

  I shove his chest, pushing myself away from the wall and the hedges before stomping out into the hospital parking lot. Anything else would have meant blood, and I needed to get out of there. I don’t doubt that Nick will keep his mouth shut. Even if he doesn’t care about his own life, I believe that he doesn’t plan on telling anyone. That said, he’s still a risk to me now.

  How could I have been so careless?

  I should have made sure every last piece of that bracelet was removed. I’d been sloppy. If Nick figured it out, someone else could as well. He needs to go, but I’m not about to kill Rinaldo’s son at this point, bastard or not.

  I’d done enough to hurt Rinaldo already.

  A thought comes to me, and I pull out my phone and call Bastian.

  “Is this going to become a frequent thing?” he asks as he answers my call.

  “Well, hopefully not for the same reasons.” I chuckle. “I’m just wondering what you know.”

  “About what?” Bastian asks.

  “Are you still connected to the business at all?”

  “Not really,” he says. “John Paul used to provide me with info, but I haven’t talked to him in months. He’s still living in Miami with some stripper.”

  “There are a lot of changes going on here now,” I say. “Major changes. It’s possible I might need your help.”

  “Is that what this is all about? I’m not fighting again.”

  “No, not that. I wouldn’t ask you to do that.”

  “What, then?”

  “Rinaldo has a son,” I tell him. “A son that is going to need to get out of the city. He’s not a target right now, and I want to keep him that way.”

  I also want to keep myself from killing him.

  “What does that have to do with me?”

  “I might send him your way.”

  “So I can do what with him?”

  “You don’t need to do anything with him,” I tell him. “Just maybe help him find a place to stay for a while until he can get himself settled. Someplace close to you in case he has problems. I don’t expect him to, but it would be nice to know there’s someone near.”

  “I can find him a place,” Bastian says. “It might be temporary, but it would buy him enough time to find something else.”

  “Thank you. I appreciate it.”

  “You in trouble?” he asks quietly.

  “Depends on what you consider trouble,” I reply. “I’ll have to tell you later though.”

  “I’ll see what I can find out through John Paul.”

  “Yeah, do,” I say. “I’d like to know what’s going through the grapevine about Chicago business.”

&nbs
p; “I’ll find out.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Hey, Evan?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I thought about everything you told me,” Bastian says. “I’ve never had a family, you know, and…well, I guess I’m just glad you let me know. If you are in trouble, I’ll be there.”

  I tighten my grip on the phone a little.

  “I understand how difficult that would be for you with Raine and Alex. You need to stick with them, so I’ll try to never need your personal help.”

  “Yeah, I’d appreciate that, too!” Bastian laughs.

  “Bastian?”

  “Yeah?”

  “It’s mutual.” I take in a long breath. “You ever need anything, I got your back.”

  “I’ll remember that. Take care, Evan.”

  “You, too.”

  I hang up and walk back into the hospital, slightly calmer. Nick is nowhere to be seen, which is probably best for him. Lucia and Lele are still talking to the nurse by the front desk, so I head straight to Rinaldo’s room and sit beside him.

  He’s pale, weak, and hooked up to oxygen. He doesn’t even open his eyes when I sit down though I can see the slow movement of his chest as he breathes. I rest my chin on my hand and try to understand how so much can be falling apart all at once.

  “Evan?”

  Rinaldo’s eyes are glassy, likely from morphine added to the drip in his arm. He coughs twice, grimacing as he does.

  “Can I get you something, sir?”

  “No, son.”

  I clasp my hands together and rub at my palm with one thumb, trying to come up with the right words. There’s so little time, and I have no idea what to say to him.

  “Everything is set up on my end,” he tells me. “You may have to play a little interference with Lucia, but she’ll ultimately abide by the will. She’s going to be pissed at me, but there isn’t time to try and explain it all to her. She’ll listen to you eventually.”

  I’d considered Beni’s reaction to me taking over, and I know exactly what I will do about that, but I hadn’t really thought much about Lucia’s understanding of this whole arranged marriage thing. If she believes she is going to maintain a level of control through me, she might be placated.

  “Did you tell her?” I ask.

  “There hasn’t been an opportunity.” Rinaldo closes his eyes and swallows hard but ends up coughing again. “She’ll come around.”

  “I don’t know if I can do this, sir.”

  “It’s all set, Evan. You’ve got this. You can handle anything.”

  “You have too much faith in me.” I shake my head and look to Rinaldo’s pale face. “There isn’t a lot of time. Lucia and I haven’t even dated, much less talked about anything else.”

  “I’ll tell her it’s what I want. She’ll listen.”

  “It might not be enough.”

  “It will be enough for her.”

  I don’t share Rinaldo’s confidence. Sometimes his ideas are a little too old school, and Lucia is a modern woman. If she sees herself becoming her mother—sidelined and raising my children while I do the dirty work—she might not consider it enough in the least.

  “I have my doubts,” I tell him.

  “It will take her time to get used to the idea,” he says, “but she’ll get there. She’s always liked you, and I don’t think the arrangement itself will be a point of contention.”

  I take a deep breath and hope he’s right.

  “What’s the status of everyone else?” he asks.

  “All the accounts are set up. Lele and Margot will be on their way to Italy as soon as”—I can’t bring myself to say the word funeral, so I don’t—“as soon as possible. It’s all arranged.”

  “Keep the wedding quick and simple. Lele won’t be up for a lot of planning.”

  I nod.

  “There’s one last thing.” His words are expected.

  “Nick and Milena,” I say.

  “Yes.” Rinaldo shifts in the bed, trying to get comfortable. I lean forward and help him with the pillow.

  “They will both need to leave Chicago,” I say.

  “I’m not leaving him anything,” Rinaldo says, “at least not officially. That’s where you come in.”

  “I’ll get an account set up. I’d like him somewhere within reach just in case I ever need him but definitely out of the state.”

  “Where are you thinking?”

  “Seattle, LA, and New York are out of the question. He may not be an obvious target, but those cities are too risky. I’m thinking of sending him off to Georgia.”

  “Georgia?”

  “Outside the Savannah area.”

  “Why there?”

  “Because Sebastian Stark is there. Nick would have some protection if he needed it, and the area is pretty secluded.”

  “You’ve talked to Stark?”

  “I have.”

  “What did you tell him?”

  “Enough.” I lean back, and Rinaldo stares at me pointedly. “I told him we’re brothers. I told him I might need a favor. I’m not completely sure where that leaves us, but I’ll go out there and make sure everything’s okay before I send Nick.”

  “I think that’s a good choice.” Rinaldo nods slowly. “He needs to leave the area and the business behind.”

  Rinaldo hasn’t mentioned Beni, and I’m reluctant to drop that bombshell on him. He doesn’t look like he can possibly handle anything else right now. I opt for good news instead.

  “Jonathan has the security stuff worked out,” I say. “It should be staged today or tomorrow with all the bugs worked out within the next week or two.”

  “Good.” He lets out a long breath. “I’m tired, Evan. I assume Lele and Lucia are close behind you.”

  “Still talking to the doctor. They’ll probably want to come see you soon. Do you want me to tell them to wait?”

  “It wouldn’t make any difference. They might just have to watch me sleep.”

  “Do you want me to send a nurse in?”

  “No, I’ll manage.”

  “I’ll come back tomorrow.”

  He reaches his hand out. It’s so thin I can see the bones under his skin.

  “Thank you,” he says in a whisper. “Thank you, son.”

  My throat clenches.

  “My pleasure, sir.”

  *****

  As much as I need to talk to Nick, I’m not ready to tell him what his future holds just yet. I need to keep my distance until the inclination to kill him diminishes. I have no doubt that he’ll accept the suggestion. Even with Lucia staying in the area, Nick wouldn’t have any real ties to Chicago without Rinaldo, and he’ll want Milena where she’s safe.

  With Rinaldo’s deteriorating health weighing on me, I head home.

  I enter my apartment, still shaken. Alina isn’t there, but when I check my phone, there’s a text saying she’s gone out to do some shopping. It’s been six days since she moved in with me. Tomorrow is the end of our trial period, and Alina will be heading back to her own apartment.

  The idea of her leaving now, when Rinaldo is in such bad shape, makes my stomach clench. I doubt I’m going to get much sleep even with her here. I’m going to have to do something to make her stay longer.

  The usually fairly silent but very desperate part of me conjures up images of keeping her here whether she likes it or not. It wouldn’t be difficult. I did buy her after all. If she went back to her pimp, I could make sure he sent her right back to me. He wouldn’t question it. She couldn’t leave me then.

  I lick my lips as ideas flow through my head, unfiltered. I would start by asking nicely, of course, but if she refused, I could make it very clear that she doesn’t have an option. I took care of her father. She knows what I’m capable of doing.

  Is that really what I want?

  I drop down on the couch and sigh to myself. There’s a reason I have usually opted for paid pussy. It’s just easier. Maybe I need to remember what kind of person I am and go bac
k to basics. Alina’s just a hooker, and it’s just about sex and getting a decent night’s sleep. There isn’t anything more.

  I stare at the copy of Cosmo on the coffee table and try to convince myself that I don’t feel anything for Alina, but it’s not working. Having her here with me has been fantastic. She doesn’t ask questions about my business or try to get me to talk about shit from the past. She’s a fantastic cook but appreciates what I make, too. At night, when I wake up from nightmares, she’s always there with me. She calms me down and helps me get back to sleep. I don’t have to explain anything to her—she already understands.

  All of it.

  Over the past few days, we’ve talked about Zach a lot. His letters were apparently very detailed and gave her quite a clear picture of how things were over there. I’d told him so much about my early life, and he’d relayed a lot of that to Alina. It feels as if she knows me almost as well as he did.

  As she told me about his letters, I realized Zach had talked about her as well. I didn’t think much of it at the time. He just said there was a girl back home in a bad family situation and that he hated not being there for her.

  She knows me, and I don’t have to tell her anything. She understands as well as anyone who hasn’t been deployed possibly can. Even better, she is quite adept at handling my moody, fucked-up self.

  The door opens, startling me from my thoughts. Alina has several of those plastic grocery bags wrapped around her wrists, and I jump up to help her.

  “Thank you,” she says as I take some of the bags from her.

  “You are very welcome.” I check inside the bags, which are full of fresh vegetables and fruit. “Looks like you’ve been busy.”

  “I was reading an article about antioxidants and getting vitamins from fresh foods instead of a pill. I know you always take a multivitamin, but I thought this might be better. The recipes look good anyway.”

  “You have enough here for a platoon.”

  “I thought I’d make extra. It should freeze well, and you can eat it later this week.”

  Bam!

  I physically flinch from her words.

  You, not we.

  Alina’s head is in the fridge, and she doesn’t see my reaction. I drop the rest of the bags on the kitchen island and lean against it as images of her kissing my cheek as she says goodbye run through my mind. I rub at the center of my chest, trying to make the sudden tightness go away.