Flutter

- 29 -

  Jack went back to sleeping in the den, but he woke me up while it was still light to see if I wanted to go apartment hunting with him. I knew that I should, but daylight was still hard on me.

  Besides, I didn’t really want to. The thought of moving didn’t thrill me, but I pretended it did. I told him to take lots of pictures for me and fell back to sleep.

  I kept having dreams about the oil tanker crash in Canada. An unseen monster slaughtered them, tearing them apart. Everything was splattered with blood and viscera. It was horrendous. I wanted to scream and throw up.

  The crew members were crying and pleading for their lives, but nobody listened. They could do nothing to save themselves. After all the crew was dead, total silent blackness enveloped the ship. That turned into an image: huge brown eyes, ones just like Milo’s.

  I woke up and wanted to scream, even though the last thing I saw hadn’t been scary. It freaked me out, though, in the worst way.

  As I tried to catch my breath and remind myself that everything was okay, I thought about how weird it was that vampires had dreams. The Lost Boys had not prepared me for this. In fact, I was starting to think that whoever wrote it had never met a vampire in his life.

  Since I couldn’t shake the dream, I got up to enlist some assistance. I considered Jane, but she needed her rest. Mae was probably with her anyway, and, I didn’t feel like talking to her. I went next door to Milo’s room, and I went in without knocking. I made sure to listen in first, and Bobby wasn’t there, so I knew it was okay to intrude.

  “Hey, wake up,” I said, walking into his room.

  It was a little messier than I expected it to be, but that had to be all Bobby. The clothes strewn about appeared to be his, and his art supplies clogged up the floor. Milo lay in bed at a weird angle with his feet dangling off the side.

  “Why?” Milo mumbled, his face buried in his pillow.

  “Cause. ” I jumped on the bed next to him harder than I needed to, making it bounce him up.

  “Why are you even up? You’re never up before me. ” He rolled onto his back so he could face me. “What time is it?”

  Flutter

  “It’s six. It’s not that early,” I said. “Where’s Bobby?”

  “School. He has a night class,” Milo yawned. “Where’s your better half?”

  “He’s… out,” I answered vaguely. Milo didn’t even notice I tried to be secretive, but I decided I couldn’t keep it from him anyway. “Okay. If I tell you something, you promise not to tell anyone?”

  “No. ” Milo wasn’t intrigued by the prospect of a secret, and I hated him for it.

  This happened all the time growing up. I wanted to tell him a secret, but he never cared, so he never had to agree to any provisions. His apathy was pretty tricky.

  “No, you actually do wanna know this, but you can’t tell anyone. Not yet. I’m just not ready for people to know,” I said.

  “I’m still telling Bobby,” he said, stifling a yawn.

  “Fine! Tell Bobby,” I sighed. “But come on. You have to pretend to be excited about this. ”

  “Why?” Milo raised an eyebrow. “I can’t imagine what you’d tell me that was exciting. My room is right next to yours, and I know that you slept alone last night, so… it can’t be that good. ”

  “Ugh!” I groaned. “Good. Now I’m glad that we’re moving out. I’m sick of your attitude. ”

  “You’re what?” That got him. He sat up, propping himself up with his arms, and looked at me. “What did you say?”

  “Jack wants us to move out,” I lowered my voice so Mae wouldn’t be able to overhear. “He’s out looking at apartments right now. ”

  “When you say ‘us’ you mean…. ” He waited for me to fill in the blank.

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  “Me and him, and you and Bobby, if you want to. ” I tilted my head. “Does Bobby actually live here? Or does he have a residence somewhere else?”

  “He technically lives in a dorm, but he hasn’t spent the night there since we met. ”

  “Don’t you think you’re moving a bit fast?” I asked. “You’re incredibly young to be living with a boyfriend. ”

  “Did you really say that to me with a straight face?” Milo raised an eyebrow at me.

  I thought about trying to make some kind of point about how his situation was different than mine, but I just forgot about it. If we were normal kids living a normal life and going to high school and living with our mom, yeah, this would probably be weird and wrong. But we’re not.

  “Never mind. That wasn’t the point. ”

  “So you’re really moving out?” Milo asked.

  “I don’t know. Jack really wants to, and he has a lot of good points. This house is getting too small for all of us, as crazy as that sounds, and neither of us should be living under the same roof as Peter. ”

  “Yeah but… you want us to move with you?” Milo asked carefully.

  “Yeah. Jack’s looking for places in the area that would be big enough for all of us. ”

  “But… what about you?” He looked at me seriously. “I know that you’re still having problems getting your bloodlust under control, and you don’t trust yourself enough to even sleep with him. How is that gonna work living together? Without Ezra to fix everything if something goes wrong?”

  “I don’t know,” I sighed. “I’ve thought of that too. But I don’t know what else we can really do. ”

  “Not move out,” Milo suggested.

  “I just don’t see how staying here could really work. ” I resigned myself to moving out even though I wasn’t sure that’s what I really wanted. It just didn’t make sense to do anything else.

  Milo lay back in bed and didn’t say anything for a bit. He was always better at coming up with logical solutions. My actions were based more on my heart and temper, which is probably how he managed more success as a vampire than I did.

  It still shocked me that he had been the one that nearly killed his boyfriend, and not me. That actually happened because he had so much more control than me. Everyone gave him too much credit. The fact that I had no impulse control is what actually kept me from murdering Jack. Nobody trusted me to be alone with him, so I never had the chance to bite him, not like Milo and Bobby.

  “No, I do not require your assistance,” Peter said wearily from out in the hallway, and I heard his bedroom door close a second later. “Jane, I suggest you just go back to the room and rest. ” I glanced over at Milo, and from his expression, I could tell he was listening to them too.

  “I don’t need any more rest. I’m bored,” Jane put on her baby talk voice that vacillated between slutty and whiny. Peter must’ve gone to his room to get something, and she followed him out.

  “Try reading one of my books,” Peter said. “Or, if you cannot read, you can try one of Jack’s movies. Or perhaps you can pester one of the six other people living in this house to entertain you. ”

  “Come on, I bet you know plenty of ways to entertain me. ” Jane was out in the hall, so I couldn’t see her, but I had enough experience with her to know that she was touching him in some way. Running her fingers down his arm or putting her hand on his chest.

  “I can assure you that I am no good at entertaining anyone. ” Peter sounded uncomfortable, and Milo smirked.

  “Well, maybe I can entertain you. ” Her voice went lower and sultrier.

  “That’s why I got a book. I can entertain myself,” Peter said, his words clipped.

  “Don’t you get sick of entertaining yourself?”

  “Jane, just go back to your room,” Peter sighed. If she was touching him, he had just taken her hand away.

  “Not unless you join me,” Jane said, oblivious to his rebuff.

  “No, I most certainly will not,” Peter snapped. “This slutty little girl act may work for some people, but I can’t see how. You are so filthy and dirty that I wouldn’t bite
you if I was starving to death. The only reason I am allowing you into my room is because of how much you mean to Alice, although, for the life of me I can’t see why. You are insipid and vain beyond what I had understood humans were capable of, and it would serve you well to steer clear of me. ”

  “Jeez,” Milo whispered.

  Jane didn’t say anything, but I heard the door open, and she had started crying before she shut behind her. When Peter started walking away, I went into the hall to give him a piece of my mind. I should’ve gone out and defended her earlier.

  “Peter!” I said quietly, so Jane wouldn’t overhear. Sighing, he turned to look at me. “Don’t you think that was a little harsh?”

  “Not really, no,” Peter said, but he wouldn’t meet my gaze. I heard the shower in Jane’s bathroom, her attempt to cure her crying, so I walked over to yell at him. “I didn’t mean for you to overhear that. ”

  “I don’t know how that makes it okay. ” I crossed my arms on my chest and glared up at him. “Jane is annoying, but she’s harmless. And she’s recovering. We’re supposed to be helping her and encouraging her, not bringing her down. ”

  “I didn’t want to bring her down. ” He rubbed his eye. “But you didn’t see how she was around me. It was constant and more than annoying. ”

  “God forbid someone have a crush on you, Peter. ” I rolled my eyes. “You were such a dick to me when I was into you, too. You can’t handle anyone gawking at you for like five seconds?”

  “No, I can. I handle it all the time,” he said defensively. “Everyone I meet is like that, and I manage. ”

  “Oh, what a rough life!” I scoffed. “You know, Jane isn’t the only one that’s vain and egotistical. ” It was Peter’s turn to roll his eyes at me. “So you’re saying your curse in life is that everyone finds you irresistible?”

  “If I say yes, I sound like an ass, but it’s true. ” He rubbed his temple and shook his head. “I am sorry if I am not doing well with tolerating her. She just won’t stop staring at me, and… you won’t even look at me. ”

  “You’re punishing Jane because you’re mad at me?” I raised my eyebrow at him. “That’s not even remotely fair. ”

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  “Life isn’t fair, Alice!” Peter looked at me intensely, his eyes glowing green. “If life were fair, you wouldn’t be with Jack!”

  “No! You don’t get to be mad at me for that!” I shook my head. “You had your chance! I wanted you first, and you wouldn’t have anything to do with me!”

  “I never had a chance!” Peter shouted. “You always wanted him! I saw you in the hot tub with him!”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “The night we met, you came up to my room, and I didn’t want to meet you. I didn’t want to want you, but the instant I saw you…” He looked away from me. “Before I even saw you. I felt you as soon as you walked in the house, and it was overwhelming.

  “I reacted poorly when we met, so Mae took you away, out to the hot tub with her and Jack. I watched you when you weren’t looking. You were sitting with him, laughing, and the way you looked at him… You’ve never looked at me that way. ”

  “How did I look at you?” I asked thickly.

  “Like you had to, like I was a magnet you were pulled to. There was no choice,” he said. “And when you look at Jack, it’s because when he’s around, why would you want to look at anything else? You love him the way you could never love me. ”

  I swallowed hard, knowing that was true. While that should have been comforting, it was painful. I felt like I had hurt Peter without ever giving him a chance.

  “But I love you in a way that he never can. ”

  “No, Peter, you don’t love me,” I shook my head.

  “Alice, I am many things, but I’m not naïve,” Peter said breathlessly. His voice had changed to something I had never heard before, desperate and earnest, and I looked up at him. “I love you, more than I’ve ever loved anyone, even Elise. As much as it kills me to do it, I can’t stop. ”

  “I can’t be with you. ” My voice quavered.

  His eyes were so beautiful and pleading. Part of me really wanted to be with him, but I could never hurt Jack again. I refused to. And Peter was right. Despite anything that I might feel for him, I still loved Jack more.

  “I would never ask you to,” he whispered.

  “But you would love it if I offered,” I smiled sadly at him.

  “Yes. I would. ” He stared at me a moment longer, then exhaled shakily. “But you can’t. ” He finally lowered his gaze and ran his hand through his hair. “I can’t do this anymore, either. I suppose I should start packing up my things. ”

  “No, you don’t have to go. ” I reached my hand out, meaning to touch his arm and comfort him, but I realized how dangerous just touching him would be, so I dropped it. “This is your home. We have no right to keep kicking you out of here. ”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Jack and I are moving out. You can stay here,” I smiled, trying to be hopeful, but his expression changed to one of dismal understanding. I had expected this to be at least kind of good news, but he didn’t take it that way.

  “Of course,” Peter looked at Jack’s room, our room, with jealousy and disgust. “This had already been planned. You’re going to run away and live happily ever after, and I will stay here. With them. Forever. ”

  “It’s not meant to be a punishment!” I said, surprised that I was somehow hurting him even when I meant to be helping.

  “Neither is my existence, and yet, it is. ” He shook his head and took a step toward the stairs. “I should go. We shouldn’t even be talking. If Jack caught us, that would be disastrous, and I don’t want to put a damper on your honeymoon. ”

  “Peter!” I shouted, but he just kept walking. I stood in the hall for a moment, trying to catch my breath and clear my head.

  “So…” Milo poked his head out of his room. I blushed, forgetting that he was in his room and had been able to hear everything. “I guess you really do need to move out. ”

  “You think?” I laughed hollowly.

  Peter vanished after my conversation with him, but I was grateful for it. I couldn’t handle anymore run-ins with him, especially with Jack around. Milo, Jane, and I camped out in the living room watching bad chick flicks until Jack and Bobby made us stop.

  When I had a moment alone with Jack, I asked him how the apartment hunting went, and he hadn’t found anything exciting yet, although he had some promising ones to look at tomorrow. He told me to cross my fingers about them, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to.

  Jane never mentioned her fight with Peter, but she was acting weird. All fidgety and twitchy. She complained of being hot and cold more than usual, and she added complaints that didn’t even really make sense. Like the fabric on the couch was too rough for her skin, or that the air in our house was making her itchy.

  Her mood swings were intense, too. One minute she’d be laughing, and then next she was threatening to smother Bobby with a pillow.

  Bobby had put Sid & Nancy on the TV in the living room, because he claimed it was a love story that we could all relate too. I think Gary Oldman is a fox in it, so I didn’t protest. I curled up next to Jack on the couch to watch it.

  Milo laid a blanket down on the floor, and Matilda tried to take it over, but Jack convinced her to lay by his feet instead. Since Milo wasn’t that interested in the film, he laid out long ways on the blanket, and Bobby rested his head on Milo’s stomach, facing the TV.

  Jane sprawled on the chaise lounge, with her current lament being that bracelets were too confining. Mae didn’t want anything to do with the movie, so she opted for a bubble bath instead.

  “Are all the doors locked?” Ezra appeared in the living room. He didn’t seem anxious, but something wasn’t quite right.

  “Uh, I don’t know?” Jack shrugged looking at him. “Do we ever even l
ock the doors?”

  “You have to lock the doors!” Jane yelled, sounding tremendously worried. “People will steal your stuff!” Our stuff must really have meant a lot to her.

  “Maybe, but someone is always here, and we’re vampires, so…” Jack trailed off.

  “I locked the French doors after I let Matilda out,” Milo said.

  “Why? They’re glass. Anything that really wants to get in can get through them,” Bobby pointed out.

  “Regardless, I want you all to start locking everything,” Ezra said.

  “Alright. Don’t we have an alarm or something?” Jack asked. “You had one put in when you built the place, didn’t you?”

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  “Yes, I did. ” Ezra nodded and scratched his head. “I turned it off immediately after we moved in, and I can’t remember the codes. I’ll have to reset it and give everyone new numbers. ”

  “That seems like a lot of trouble to go through. ” Jack had his arm around me, and it tensed. “Did something happen? What’s going on?”

  “No, it’s probably nothing. ” Ezra shook his head. “There’s just been a string of robberies in the neighborhood. ” I don’t know how I knew, but he was lying.

  “Oh my god,” Jane gasped and put her hands to her mouth.

  “We’re still vampires,” Jack gestured to himself, me, and Milo. “I’m pretty sure that we could take whoever broke in here. ”

  Jane was over-the-top terrified, but Bobby didn’t look concerned at all. When you’re human, vampires seem extra invincible. But as a vampire, I knew that I wasn’t anywhere as strong or amazing as everyone else.

  “It’s always better safe than sorry. ” Ezra nodded, as if that settled that. “I’m going to go look for the alarm manual, and I’ll get back to you when I have codes. ”

  “Alright. ” Jack gave me a weird look, and he was as skeptical about Ezra’s intentions as I was.

  “I don’t how you guys can just sit here!” Jane got to her feet after Ezra left the room.

  “Jane, relax. Nothing’s gonna happen to you,” Milo tried to reassure her.

  “No! I don’t mean that! It’s just so boring here!” She pulled at one of the bangle bracelets she had taken from me, and her eyes darted all around the room. “You just sit here all the time!”

  “Jane, its four in the morning. What do you suggest we do?” Jack asked her honestly.

  “And we don’t sit around here all the time,” Bobby said. “I went to school, Jack went out, Milo goes places too, I’m sure. But you’re not because you’re still not feeling well. ”

  “I’m feeling fine!” Jane stomped her foot and tried to take off the bracelets. “If it weren’t for these damn bracelets! They’re like handcuffs!”

  “Jane! Just calm down and watch the movie,” I said. “We’ll go somewhere tomorrow night. Okay? But right now, it’s too late. So just relax. ”

  “Whatever. ” She managed to get off the bracelets and chucked them to the other side of the room, startling Matilda into barking.