Flutter

“Is everything alright in there?” Ezra shouted from his den at the end of the hall.

  “Seriously. What’s going on?” I looked at Jack. “Is there like a carbon monoxide leak? Everybody is being a total freak today. ”

  “I am not being a freak!” Jane protested, then collapsed heavily back onto the chaise lounge. “I’m fine. Let’s just watch the movie. I wanna see what happens to this Sid guy. ”

  Before the credits started to roll, Jane fell asleep, but she twitched a lot in her sleep. It was actually super creepy. We all watched with mild fascination until Mae came out of the bathroom and yelled at us for just staring at her. She carried Jane up to Peter’s room, and Mae came down because Ezra enlisted her on his search for the missing alarm manual. It was the first time they’d really interacted in awhile, and she seemed to bare a grudge about the whole thing.

  The rest of us watched movies for awhile longer, until Ezra tried to get us to search for a manual we’d never seen. We headed up to our respective rooms to avoid the whole thing.

  “You know, Ezra’s in the den,” I said to Jack when we got to our room. He had already taken off his tee shirt in preparation to put on pajamas, but when he turned to look at me, I started slipping off my jeans in the most seductive way I could manage. “So you can’t really sleep there. ”

  “Here’s the funny thing. ” Jack grinned as he walked over to me. He’d come into the room and gone straight to the closet to change, but I had other plans for the night, so I stayed next to the bed. “I’m not really all that tired anymore. ”

  “Really?” I took a step back, so my butt hit the bed. “You wouldn’t want to crawl into bed at all?”

  “Oh, no, I definitely wanna crawl in bed,” Jack smiled wickedly. He took another step towards me, so he was right in front of me, and put his hands on my bare thighs. Slowly, he slid them up under my shirt and let them linger on my waist. “God, you’re beautiful. ”

  I looped my arms around his neck and stood on my tiptoes so I could kiss him. He kissed me deeply, cupping his hands on my butt and holding me to him. Gently, he pushed me back onto the bed. I wrapped my legs around him, pulling me closer to him. He pushed against me, and I moaned. His mouth trailed to my neck, and suddenly, I wanted it.

  “Bite me,” I breathed, burying my fingers in his hair.

  “What?” Jack stopped kissing me so he could look at me. He tried to play it cool, but his excitement was unmistakable. “Seriously?”

  “Yeah,” I looked up at him. Being bitten felt amazing, and he was in control enough where it wouldn’t be that dangerous. I’d be the weak one, but I’d just fed so I wouldn’t be ravenous.

  “When was the last time you ate?”

  “Jack!” I said. “Don’t break the romance with logic. I’m fine, okay?”

  He bit his lip and looked down at me. He was making sure that I was completely okay with it, but he obviously wanted to do it. I could feel his hunger, hot and eager, flowing over me. His heart pounded heavily, and it was just above mine, so I could almost feel it. His eyes faded translucent, the way they did when he really wanted me. The more passionate he got, the lighter the color of his eyes.

  When his lips pressed against my veins, I moaned involuntarily, and I arched my back, pushing closer to him.

  “Alice!” Mae screamed and threw open the bedroom door.

  “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me!” Jack yelled incredulously and sat up, and I agreed. He turned to glare at her. “There’s nothing wrong with what we’re doing!”

  “I don’t care about you,” Mae said. She looked stricken, so I sat up and pushed Jack back out of the way. “Jane is missing! I think something’s happened to her!”

  - 30 -

  In the panic over a possible Jane-napping, I didn’t think to put on pants and Jack didn’t put on a shirt, so we both got dirty looks from Milo. He’d rushed out of his room when he heard Mae screaming. I returned his dirty look since Bobby was shirtless and guilty looking.

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  We were all crowded inside Jane’s room, investigating her disappearance. Mae had tired of her pursuit of the alarm manual, so she had gone upstairs to bunk with Jane again, but when she’d come in the room, Jane was gone. That was all her evidence.

  “Did somebody ransack the room or something?” Bobby asked, admiring the disheveled state of Peter’s room. Somehow, half of my wardrobe had migrated over here and had been strewn around everywhere.

  “No, it always looks like this,” I said. I hadn’t seen her room lately, but this was her natural state of being.

  “Not to sound like a dick,” Jack said, “but you just dragged us out of bed to show us Jane’s messy room? That’s not really an emergency, Mae. ”

  “She’s not here!” Mae gestured to the mess around her. “That’s the emergency. ”

  “Again, not to be a dick, but that’s not really an emergency,” Jack said.

  “Something could’ve happened to her!” Mae insisted. “She wouldn’t just leave like this!”

  “She might,” Milo said. “She was bitching downstairs about how boring we are. ”

  “But she didn’t tell me where she was going. ” Mae looked at us all with disbelief. Jane had really gotten to her, and she wasn’t willing to let her go so easily.

  “You know what? I’m sure she has her phone on her,” I said. “I’ll call her, and we can figure this out right away. ”

  “Good idea. ” Mae was slightly relieved at that.

  “Well, I’m going back to bed,” Milo yawned. “I’m sure she’ll turn up. ”

  I hurried across the hall to my room, and Jack trailed behind me. Mae stayed behind in the hallway to argue with Milo about how innocent Jane was while I pulled my cell phone out of my pants pocket. Jack rubbed his bare arms and shook his head.

  “You don’t really believe something happened to Jane?” Jack asked quietly.

  “I don’t really know, and I’ll feel better making sure. ” I scrolled through my phone for her number, then hit call.

  The phone rang in my ear, and I watched as Milo and Bobby slunk back to their room. Mae looked at me expectantly, and I started to tell her that Jane wasn’t answering when Jane picked up.

  “Yeah, what?” Jane sounded bored.

  “Jane?” I asked tentatively. “Where are you?”

  “Out. Your place was a drag,” Jane yawned.

  “Really? You’re calling us a ‘drag?’” I asked. Mae peered at me with concern, but Jack rolled his eyes and walked to the other side of the room.

  “No, you’re not. ” Jane sighed. “Look, I know you guys have been really good to me, and I appreciate all your hospitality. But… the thing is, I need a bite. ”

  “We have food here, Jane. You didn’t need to-”

  “No, not a bite to eat,” Jane cut me off. “I need to be bitten. ”

  “But… No,” I shook my head. “We just got you out of there. That life is bad for you, and you know it. ”

  “Jonathan is bad for me, and I got a little carried away on Halloween. ” Jane made it sound like she had a drink too many at an office party. She had almost died because a vampire was eating her throat. “But I still love the way it feels, and I’ve just been craving it. ”

  “Jane!” I shouted, incredulous. “No! You will die if you keep it up!”

  “I don’t think I will, but so be it. ” There was noise behind her, and Jane sounded in a hurry when she spoke again. “I gotta go. Thanks for everything, though, Alice. I’m sure I’ll see you again. ”

  “No, Jane! Wait!” I said, but she’d already hung up.

  “What’s going on? Where is she?” Mae asked.

  “I don’t know. ” I shook my head and tried calling her again, but it went right to voicemail. “Dammit. She shut off her phone. ”

  “What did she say? Why did she leave?” Mae asked.

  “She, um…” I considered lying to Mae, but what was
the point? “She wanted to go get bit. I guess she’s going back to being a bloodwhore. ”

  “No!” Mae’s eyes widened with terror. “She can’t! She’ll die!”

  “I know. I told her that. ” I was taken aback by her intensity, and I looked to Jack for help.

  “Mae, she’s a junkie,” Jack said, not unkindly. Considering how much he currently disliked Mae and Jane, he was handling this quite well. “The last high had worn off from being bit, and she had to go out and get another fix. You can’t keep her here for a couple days and expect to cure her. ”

  “No. She was doing so well,” Mae shook here head fiercely. “I refuse to believe she willingly went back out there. I’ve got to find her. ”

  “Mae, the sun is about to come up. ” I gestured to the windows. No light ever spilled in around the curtains, but I could feel when the sun rose and set. It was a weird vampire tick. “She’s probably crashing somewhere for awhile. She won’t even be able to find a vampire until night fall. ”

  “You don’t know that!” Mae insisted. “I’m going out after her. ” With that, she walked out.

  “Mae!” I went to stop her as she left the room, but Jack put his hand on my arm.

  “Let her go,” Jack said. “She’s not going to listen to reason anymore than Jane will. ”

  I ran my hands through my hair and stared out the door. Across the hall, Mae had left Peter’s bedroom door open, and I could see into the empty disaster that had been Jane’s space.

  “Do you think we should go after Jane?”

  “Where?” Jack stared across the hall at the same thing I was. “Do you know where she went?”

  “No. It feels weird just letting Jane go, though. ” I chewed my lip.

  “You can’t save her if she doesn’t want to be saved,” Jack smiled sadly at me.

  I knew he was right, but I just hated the way it felt. We had gone through a lot of trouble to get her here, and Bobby had risked his life. I thought Jane had really seen the error of her ways, but she just needed a place to crash. Jack put his hand on my back, and I leaned into him, resting my head on his shoulder.

  “I probably say this way too much, but it’s going to be okay, Alice. Honest. ”

  “I know. ” I wasn’t sure if I really believed it, but I had to hope it was true. Jack kissed the top of my head and pulled away from me. “Hey, where are you going?”

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  “Taking a rain check on tonight. ” He went over to the closet and changed into his pajamas. When he walked out, he was still pulling his shirt on over his head. “The mood is kind of destroyed. ”

  “I can reset the mood,” I offered with a smile, but it felt plastic even to me. I wanted to want him, but my heart wasn’t really in it just then. He walked over to me, and I put my hand on his chest, amending my sentiments. “It could be a really good distraction. ”

  “Probably,” Jack agreed, smiling. “But I’d like to be more than just a distraction. ” He kissed my forehead before heading out of the room. “I’ll be in the den if you need me. ”

  I stayed awake long after Jack left. I should’ve convinced him to stay with me, even if we didn’t do anything. In a house overflowing with people, I felt strangely lonely. After everything I had tried to do for Jane, it had inevitably been a failure.

  Even if I saved her today, what about tomorrow? Or the day after? Eventually she would die, and all my efforts would amount to decomposing in the dirt. Everything suddenly felt really pointless, but I tried to shake it off and get some sleep.

  Jack once again started the day with an apartment hunt, which I once again declined. It had taken forever for me to fall asleep, and I wasn’t up to it. I wasn’t even sure that I wanted to move out, but by now, I knew that I didn’t have a choice.

  Peter had made it perfectly clear that cohabitating with him would be impossible, and considering Jack had actually been alive for over forty years, it was about time that he started living on his own.

  I hadn’t been awake for that long when Jack returned. I decided to take a shower, but I noticed the state of our bathroom. Mae was still gone, determined to rescue Jane, and I thought as a nice treat for her return, I’d get all our towels down and actually clean the bathroom.

  I pulled my hair back in a messy bun and grabbed the Comet and got to work. I was scrubbing dried toothpaste and shaving cream off the sink when I heard Jack bounding up the stairs.

  “Alice!” Jack shouted. “I’ve got great news!”

  I came out of the bathroom, and I know I looked hot. I had on yellow rubber gloves to keep my hands from getting all mucky, and I held the Comet soaked sponge. My pajamas had water and soap splattered on them, and my hair fell out of the bun.

  “What are you doing?” Jack gave me a perplexed look, but his delight was unmistakable.

  “Cleaning, but never mind. ” I tossed the sponge back in the bathroom, since I doubted I needed it to converse with Jack. “What’s your great news?”

  “I got us a place!” Jack beamed, and it was struggle for him to keep from jumping up and down. I smiled because he was, but the nerves in my belly tightened.

  “Already?” I asked, and somehow managed to keep the unease out of my voice.

  “Yeah! I know you haven’t seen it, but it’s perfect! It’s absolutely perfect! You’ll love it!” He’d already fallen in love with the place. “I had to put money down because it’s so hard to find a place that matched all our needs, and it would get scooped up crazy fast. But I set up a time for you to see it tomorrow, and if you don’t like it, the deal’s off. I won’t make you move anywhere you don’t want to, but this place was just so perfect. ”

  “No, I’m sure it’s great. If you love it, I know I will too. ” That was completely true, so I didn’t understand why I didn’t feel that way. His happiness was taking me over, but a bit of doubt still gnawed at me.

  “They allow Matilda, and it’s really hard to find a place that allows big dogs, and there’s a dog park real close by. It’s three bedrooms, one for us, one for Milo, and one for… I don’t know. Cause why not?” Jack shrugged. “And it has this fantastic balcony!”

  “Do we even use the balcony now?” I asked. All three of the upstairs bedrooms had balconies, but I’m pretty sure that I had never been on one, and the only person I’d ever seen use them was Peter. After we kissed. That reminded me that I had to move out. “I’m sure we’ll use it more since we don’t have a yard. ”

  “I know we’ll be giving up some space and some creature comforts, but I think it’ll be great. ” Jack had calmed down some, and he looked at me sincerely. “We’ll be able to have a life of our own, you know?”

  “Yeah, totally. ” I nodded.

  “I stopped and got some boxes on my way back, so we can start packing some stuff up. ” He edged away to the door. “I’ll be right back. ”

  “Okay. I think that I’m gonna take a quick shower and get all the cleaning gunk off of me,” I said. Jack barely heard me because he was already darting down the stairs.

  Once he was gone and took his emotions with him, my anxiety had a chance to kick in. I tore off the stupid rubber gloves and went into the closet to get a change of clothes. I needed a moment to catch my breath. It all felt so sudden, and I couldn’t explain what terrified me so much about it.

  We were just moving out, not that far away, and Milo and Ezra and everyone would still be a part of our lives. Jack made decent money working with Ezra, although I was too embarrassed to ask the exact dollar amount, but I’m sure he could afford to take care of us. There was nothing to fear really.

  Except being alone. As much as I wanted to be with him, it scared the hell out of me. On top of all these vampire hang ups about possibly murdering him, I still had the normal teenage girl insecurities. I had never been with anyone before, and Jack had. And if something were to go wrong, we were on our own. Milo wouldn’t know how to handle anything, and Ezra couldn
’t get there in time.

  As I leafed through my drawer of undergarments, it finally dawned on me. Without a doubt, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Jack, and I definitely wanted to have sex with him. It would happen someday, and probably someday very soon if we were living on our own. So why not now?

  Ezra was downstairs in the den, and Milo was next door. If something happened, I could easily get help. And really, I was sick of waiting. I was sick of interruptions. I loved him, and it was time.

  - 31 -

  I purposely held my clothes close to me when I came out of the closet so Jack wouldn’t notice, but he probably wouldn’t have noticed if I were waving them on a flag in front of me. He put some mix CD in the stereo that he claimed had lots of “upbeat jams” that got him in the mood to pack.

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  Normally, I would’ve argued with him about why he had to have a mix CD to get him in the mood to do something as specific and rare as packing, but I was on a mission. When I went into the bathroom, I left him grooving to Robert Palmer while tossing some of his graphic novels into a cardboard box.

  After the shower I slipped on my sexy lingerie. Last month, Mae had given me a credit card and let me loose on the internet. I went to Fredricks of Hollywood, and I spotted this little number. Dark purple, lacy, and sheer, it had a baby doll top with matching panties. My stomach twisted with excitement and nerves, and I opened the bathroom door.

  The wall was open, revealing the secret closet where Jack had his thousands of DVD’s. He filled up a box with his movies, and he was too busy singing and dancing along to the music to notice me. I did a sexy lean up against the doorframe, and I didn’t really want to move and ruin it, so I had to wait for him to notice me.

  “I’m probably gonna have to buy like a massive entertainment center for all these movies,” Jack said, staring up at his DVD’s. It overwhelmed him for a minute, so he sighed, and finally turned back to look at me. I have no idea what he was planning to say, but his jaw fell open and his eyes widened. “Holy hell. ”

  “Is that a good holy hell?” I blushed deeply, and I had never felt so self-conscious in my entire life. Maybe this was a really bad idea.

  “Yeah. ” He seemed to recover a bit and smiled at me. “What’s all this for?”

  “You know. ” I bit my lip and looked up at him, hoping he would catch the gigantic hint and wouldn’t make me spell it aloud. I took a step closer to him, but Savage Garden singing “Truly Madly Deeply” threw off the mood. “Can you change the song?”

  “Oh, yeah. ” He clumsily grabbed the remote off the bed, almost dropping it, and flicked the song to the next track. It was Panic ! at the Disco’s “Lying is the Most Fun,” and while I wasn’t sure how it was an upbeat jam, I liked it a lot more. “Better?”

  “Much,” I nodded.

  Jack walked over to me. The butterflies in my stomach made it hard for his emotions to overpower me, but they finally managed to. Intense and yearning, his hunger radiated off of him like heat. He stood in front of me, taking me in a way that made me uncomfortable, and he exhaled deeply. I couldn’t take it anymore, so I crossed my arms over my body, trying to cover myself up.