Joseph Andrews, Vol. 2

  CHAPTER V.

  _A disputation on schools held on the road between Mr Abraham Adams andJoseph; and a discovery not unwelcome to them both._

  Our travellers, having well refreshed themselves at the gentleman'shouse, Joseph and Fanny with sleep, and Mr Abraham Adams with ale andtobacco, renewed their journey with great alacrity; and pursuing theroad into which they were directed, travelled many miles before theymet with any adventure worth relating. In this interval we shallpresent our readers with a very curious discourse, as we apprehend it,concerning public schools, which passed between Mr Joseph Andrews andMr Abraham Adams.

  They had not gone far before Adams, calling to Joseph, asked him, "Ifhe had attended to the gentleman's story?" He answered, "To all theformer part."--"And don't you think," says he, "he was a very unhappyman in his youth?"--"A very unhappy man, indeed," answered the other."Joseph," cries Adams, screwing up his mouth, "I have found it; I havediscovered the cause of all the misfortunes which befel him: a publicschool, Joseph, was the cause of all the calamities which heafterwards suffered. Public schools are the nurseries of all vice andimmorality. All the wicked fellows whom I remember at the universitywere bred at them.--Ah, Lord! I can remember as well as if it was butyesterday, a knot of them; they called them King's scholars, I forgetwhy--very wicked fellows! Joseph, you may thank the Lord you were notbred at a public school; you would never have preserved your virtue asyou have. The first care I always take is of a boy's morals; I hadrather he should be a blockhead than an atheist or a presbyterian.What is all the learning in the world compared to his immortal soul?What shall a man take in exchange for his soul? But the masters ofgreat schools trouble themselves about no such thing. I have known alad of eighteen at the university, who hath not been able to say hiscatechism; but for my own part, I always scourged a lad sooner formissing that than any other lesson. Believe me, child, all thatgentleman's misfortunes arose from his being educated at a publicschool."

  "It doth not become me," answered Joseph, "to dispute anything, sir,with you, especially a matter of this kind; for to be sure you must beallowed by all the world to be the best teacher of a school in all ourcounty." "Yes, that," says Adams, "I believe, is granted me; that I maywithout much vanity pretend to--nay, I believe I may go to the nextcounty too--but _gloriari non est meum_."--"However, sir, as you arepleased to bid me speak," says Joseph, "you know my late master, SirThomas Booby, was bred at a public school, and he was the finestgentleman in all the neighbourhood. And I have often heard him say, ifhe had a hundred boys he would breed them all at the same place. It washis opinion, and I have often heard him deliver it, that a boy takenfrom a public school and carried into the world, will learn more in oneyear there than one of a private education will in five. He used to saythe school itself initiated him a great way (I remember that was hisvery expression), for great schools are little societies, where a boyof any observation may see in epitome what he will afterwards find inthe world at large."--"_Hinc illae lachrymae_: for that very reason,"quoth Adams, "I prefer a private school, where boys may be kept ininnocence and ignorance; for, according to that fine passage in theplay of Cato, the only English tragedy I ever read--

  "'If knowledge of the world must make men villains May Juba ever live in ignorance!'

  "Who would not rather preserve the purity of his child than wish him toattain the whole circle of arts and sciences? which, by the bye, he maylearn in the classes of a private school; for I would not be vain, but Iesteem myself to be second to none, _nulli secundum_, in teaching thesethings; so that a lad may have as much learning in a private as in apublic education."--"And, with submission," answered Joseph, "he may getas much vice: witness several country gentlemen, who were educatedwithin five miles of their own houses, and are as wicked as if they hadknown the world from their infancy. I remember when I was in the stable,if a young horse was vicious in his nature, no correction would make himotherwise: I take it to be equally the same among men: if a boy be of amischievous wicked inclination, no school, though ever so private, willever make him good: on the contrary, if he be of a righteous temper, youmay trust him to London, or wherever else you please--he will be in nodanger of being corrupted. Besides, I have often heard my master saythat the discipline practised in public schools was much better thanthat in private."--"You talk like a jackanapes," says Adams, "and so didyour master. Discipline indeed! Because one man scourges twenty orthirty boys more in a morning than another, is he therefore a betterdisciplinarian? I do presume to confer in this point with all who havetaught from Chiron's time to this day; and, if I was master of six boysonly, I would preserve as good discipline amongst them as the master ofthe greatest school in the world. I say nothing, young man; remember Isay nothing; but if Sir Thomas himself had been educated nearer home,and under the tuition of somebody--remember I name nobody--it might havebeen better for him:--but his father must institute him in the knowledgeof the world. _Nemo mortalium omnibus horis sapit_." Joseph, seeing himrun on in this manner, asked pardon many times, assuring him he had nointention to offend. "I believe you had not, child," said he, "and I amnot angry with you; but for maintaining good discipline in a school; forthis."--And then he ran on as before, named all the masters who arerecorded in old books, and preferred himself to them all. Indeed, ifthis good man had an enthusiasm, or what the vulgar call a blind side,it was this: he thought a schoolmaster the greatest character in theworld, and himself the greatest of all schoolmasters: neither of whichpoints he would have given up to Alexander the Great at the head ofhis army.

  Adams continued his subject till they came to one of the beautifullestspots of ground in the universe. It was a kind of natural amphitheatre,formed by the winding of a small rivulet, which was planted with thickwoods, and the trees rose gradually above each other by the naturalascent of the ground they stood on; which ascent as they hid with theirboughs, they seemed to have been disposed by the design of the mostskilful planter. The soil was spread with a verdure which no paint couldimitate; and the whole place might have raised romantic ideas in elderminds than those of Joseph and Fanny, without the assistance of love.

  Here they arrived about noon, and Joseph proposed to Adams that theyshould rest awhile in this delightful place, and refresh themselves withsome provisions which the good-nature of Mrs Wilson had provided themwith. Adams made no objection to the proposal; so down they sat, and,pulling out a cold fowl and a bottle of wine, they made a repast with acheerfulness which might have attracted the envy of more splendidtables. I should not omit that they found among their provision a littlepaper containing a piece of gold, which Adams imagining had been putthere by mistake, would have returned back to restore it; but he was atlast convinced by Joseph that Mr Wilson had taken this handsome way offurnishing them with a supply for their journey, on his having relatedthe distress which they had been in, when they were relieved by thegenerosity of the pedlar. Adams said he was glad to see such an instanceof goodness, not so much for the conveniency which it brought them asfor the sake of the doer, whose reward would be great in heaven. Helikewise comforted himself with a reflection that he should shortly havean opportunity of returning it him; for the gentleman was within a weekto make a journey into Somersetshire, to pass through Adams's parish,and had faithfully promised to call on him; a circumstance which wethought too immaterial to mention before; but which those who have asgreat an affection for that gentleman as ourselves will rejoice at, asit may give them hopes of seeing him again. Then Joseph made a speech oncharity, which the reader, if he is so disposed, may see in the nextchapter; for we scorn to betray him into any such reading, without firstgiving him warning.