Joseph Andrews, Vol. 2

  CHAPTER V.

  _Containing justice business; curious precedents of depositions, andother matters necessary to be perused by all justices of the peace andtheir clerks._

  The young squire and his lady were no sooner alighted from their coachthan the servants began to inquire after Mr Joseph, from whom they saidtheir lady had not heard a word, to her great surprize, since he hadleft Lady Booby's. Upon this they were instantly informed of what hadlately happened, with which they hastily acquainted their master, whotook an immediate resolution to go himself, and endeavour to restore hisPamela her brother, before she even knew she had lost him.

  The justice before whom the criminals were carried, and who lived withina short mile of the lady's house, was luckily Mr Booby's acquaintance,by his having an estate in his neighbourhood. Ordering therefore hishorses to his coach, he set out for the judgment-seat, and arrived whenthe justice had almost finished his business. He was conducted into ahall, where he was acquainted that his worship would wait on him in amoment; for he had only a man and a woman to commit to Bridewell first.As he was now convinced he had not a minute to lose, he insisted on theservant's introducing him directly into the room where the justice wasthen executing his office, as he called it. Being brought thither, andthe first compliments being passed between the squire and his worship,the former asked the latter what crime those two young people had beenguilty of? "No great crime," answered the justice; "I have only orderedthem to Bridewell for a month." "But what is their crime?" repeated thesquire. "Larceny, an't please your honour," said Scout. "Ay," says thejustice, "a kind of felonious larcenous thing. I believe I must orderthem a little correction too, a little stripping and whipping." (PoorFanny, who had hitherto supported all with the thoughts of Joseph'scompany, trembled at that sound; but, indeed, without reason, for nonebut the devil himself would have executed such a sentence on her.)"Still," said the squire, "I am ignorant of the crime--the fact I mean.""Why, there it is in peaper," answered the justice, showing him adeposition which, in the absence of his clerk, he had writ himself, ofwhich we have with great difficulty procured an authentic copy; and hereit follows _verbatim et literatim:_--

  _The depusition of James Scout, layer, and Thomas Trotter, yeoman, taken before mee, one of his magesty's justasses of the piece for Zumersetshire._

  "These deponants saith, and first Thomas Trotter for himself saith, that on the -- of this instant October, being Sabbath-day, betwin the ours of 2 and 4 in the afternoon, he zeed Joseph Andrews and Francis Goodwill walk akross a certane felde belunging to layer Scout, and out of the path which ledes thru the said felde, and there he zede Joseph Andrews with a nife cut one hassel twig, of the value, as he believes, of three half-pence, or thereabouts; and he saith that the said Francis Goodwill was likewise walking on the grass out of the said path in the said felde, and did receive and karry in her hand the said twig, and so was cumfarting, eading, and abatting to the said Joseph therein. And the said James Scout for himself says that he verily believes the said twig to be his own proper twig," &c.

  "Jesu!" said the squire, "would you commit two persons to Bridewell fora twig?" "Yes," said the lawyer, "and with great lenity too; for if wehad called it a young tree, they would have been both hanged." "Harkee,"says the justice, taking aside the squire; "I should not have been sosevere on this occasion, but Lady Booby desires to get them out of theparish; so lawyer Scout will give the constable orders to let them runaway, if they please: but it seems they intend to marry together, andthe lady hath no other means, as they are legally settled there, toprevent their bringing an incumbrance on her own parish." "Well," saidthe squire, "I will take care my aunt shall be satisfied in this point;and likewise I promise you, Joseph here shall never be any incumbranceon her. I shall be obliged to you, therefore, if, instead of Bridewell,you will commit them to my custody." "O! to be sure, sir, if you desireit," answered the justice; and without more ado Joseph and Fanny weredelivered over to Squire Booby, whom Joseph very well knew, but littleguessed how nearly he was related to him. The justice burnt hismittimus, the constable was sent about his business, the lawyer made nocomplaint for want of justice; and the prisoners, with exulting hearts,gave a thousand thanks to his honour Mr Booby; who did not intend theirobligations to him should cease here; for, ordering his man to produce acloak-bag, which he had caused to be brought from Lady Booby's onpurpose, he desired the justice that he might have Joseph with him intoa room; where, ordering his servant to take out a suit of his ownclothes, with linnen and other necessaries, he left Joseph to dresshimself, who, not yet knowing the cause of all this civility, excusedhis accepting such a favour as long as decently he could. Whilst Josephwas dressing, the squire repaired to the justice, whom he found talkingwith Fanny; for, during the examination, she had flopped her hat overher eyes, which were also bathed in tears, and had by that meansconcealed from his worship what might perhaps have rendered the arrivalof Mr Booby unnecessary, at least for herself. The justice no sooner sawher countenance cleared up, and her bright eyes shining through hertears, than he secretly cursed himself for having once thought ofBridewell for her. He would willingly have sent his own wife thither, tohave had Fanny in her place. And, conceiving almost at the same instantdesires and schemes to accomplish them, he employed the minutes whilstthe squire was absent with Joseph in assuring her how sorry he was forhaving treated her so roughly before he knew her merit; and told her,that since Lady Booby was unwilling that she should settle in herparish, she was heartily welcome to his, where he promised her hisprotection, adding that he would take Joseph and her into his ownfamily, if she liked it; which assurance he confirmed with a squeeze bythe hand. She thanked him very kindly, and said, "She would acquaintJoseph with the offer, which he would certainly be glad to accept; forthat Lady Booby was angry with them both; though she did not know eitherhad done anything to offend her, but imputed it to Madam Slipslop, whohad always been her enemy."

  The squire now returned, and prevented any farther continuance of thisconversation; and the justice, out of a pretended respect to his guest,but in reality from an apprehension of a rival (for he knew nothing ofhis marriage), ordered Fanny into the kitchen, whither she gladlyretired; nor did the squire, who declined the trouble of explaining thewhole matter, oppose it.

  It would be unnecessary, if I was able, which indeed I am not, torelate the conversation between these two gentlemen, which rolled, asI have been informed, entirely on the subject of horse-racing. Josephwas soon drest in the plainest dress he could find, which was a bluecoat and breeches, with a gold edging, and a red waistcoat with thesame: and as this suit, which was rather too large for the squire,exactly fitted him, so he became it so well, and looked so genteel,that no person would have doubted its being as well adapted to hisquality as his shape; nor have suspected, as one might, when my Lord----, or Sir ----, or Mr ----, appear in lace or embroidery, that thetaylor's man wore those clothes home on his back which he should havecarried under his arm.

  The squire now took leave of the justice; and, calling for Fanny, madeher and Joseph, against their wills, get into the coach with him, whichhe then ordered to drive to Lady Booby's. It had moved a few yards only,when the squire asked Joseph if he knew who that man was crossing thefield; for, added he, I never saw one take such strides before. Josephanswered eagerly, "O, sir, it is parson Adams!" "O la, indeed, and so itis," said Fanny; "poor man, he is coming to do what he could for us.Well, he is the worthiest, best-natured creature."--"Ay," said Joseph;"God bless him! for there is not such another in the universe." "Thebest creature living sure," cries Fanny. "Is he?" says the squire; "thenI am resolved to have the best creature living in my coach;" and sosaying, he ordered it to stop, whilst Joseph, at his request, hallowedto the parson, who, well knowing his voice, made all the hasteimaginable, and soon came up with them. He was desired by the master,who could scarce refrain from laughter at his figure, to mount into thecoach, which he with many thanks refused, saying he
could walk by itsside, and he'd warrant he kept up with it; but he was at lengthover-prevailed on. The squire now acquainted Joseph with his marriage;but he might have spared himself that labour; for his servant, whilstJoseph was dressing, had performed that office before. He continued toexpress the vast happiness he enjoyed in his sister, and the value hehad for all who belonged to her. Joseph made many bows, and exprest asmany acknowledgments: and parson Adams, who now first perceived Joseph'snew apparel, burst into tears with joy, and fell to rubbing his handsand snapping his fingers as if he had been mad.

  They were now arrived at the Lady Booby's, and the squire, desiring themto wait a moment in the court, walked in to his aunt, and calling herout from his wife, acquainted her with Joseph's arrival; saying, "Madam,as I have married a virtuous and worthy woman, I am resolved to own herrelations, and show them all a proper respect; I shall think myselftherefore infinitely obliged to all mine who will do the same. It istrue, her brother hath been your servant, but he is now become mybrother; and I have one happiness, that neither his character, hisbehaviour, or appearance, give me any reason to be ashamed of callinghim so. In short, he is now below, dressed like a gentleman, in whichlight I intend he shall hereafter be seen; and you will oblige me beyondexpression if you will admit him to be of our party; for I know it willgive great pleasure to my wife, though she will not mention it."

  This was a stroke of fortune beyond the Lady Booby's hopes orexpectation; she answered him eagerly, "Nephew, you know how easily I amprevailed on to do anything which Joseph Andrews desires--Phoo, I meanwhich you desire me; and, as he is now your relation, I cannot refuse toentertain him as such." The squire told her he knew his obligation toher for her compliance; and going three steps, returned and told her--hehad one more favour, which he believed she would easily grant, as shehad accorded him the former. "There is a young woman--"--"Nephew," saysshe, "don't let my good-nature make you desire, as is too commonly thecase, to impose on me. Nor think, because I have with so muchcondescension agreed to suffer your brother-in-law to come to my table,that I will submit to the company of all my own servants, and all thedirty trollops in the country." "Madam," answered the squire, "I believeyou never saw this young creature. I never beheld such sweetness andinnocence joined with such beauty, and withal so genteel." "Upon my soulI won't admit her," replied the lady in a passion; "the whole worldshan't prevail on me; I resent even the desire as an affront, and--" Thesquire, who knew her inflexibility, interrupted her, by asking pardon,and promising not to mention it more. He then returned to Joseph, andshe to Pamela. He took Joseph aside, and told him he would carry him tohis sister, but could not prevail as yet for Fanny. Joseph begged thathe might see his sister alone, and then be with his Fanny; but thesquire, knowing the pleasure his wife would have in her brother'scompany, would not admit it, telling Joseph there would be nothing in soshort an absence from Fanny, whilst he was assured of her safety;adding, he hoped he could not so easily quit a sister whom he had notseen so long, and who so tenderly loved him. Joseph immediatelycomplied; for indeed no brother could love a sister more; and,recommending Fanny, who rejoiced that she was not to go before LadyBooby, to the care of Mr Adams, he attended the squire upstairs, whilstFanny repaired with the parson to his house, where she thought herselfsecure of a kind reception.