Joseph Andrews, Vol. 2

  CHAPTER VII.

  _Philosophical reflections, the like not to be found in any lightFrench romance. Mr Booby's grave advice to Joseph, and Fanny'sencounter with a beau._

  Habit, my good reader, hath so vast a prevalence over the human mind,that there is scarce anything too strange or too strong to be assertedof it. The story of the miser, who, from long accustoming to cheatothers, came at last to cheat himself, and with great delight andtriumph picked his own pocket of a guinea to convey to his hoard, is notimpossible or improbable. In like manner it fares with the practisers ofdeceit, who, from having long deceived their acquaintance, gain at lasta power of deceiving themselves, and acquire that very opinion (howeverfalse) of their own abilities, excellencies, and virtues, into whichthey have for years perhaps endeavoured to betray their neighbours. Now,reader, to apply this observation to my present purpose, thou must know,that as the passion generally called love exercises most of the talentsof the female or fair world, so in this they now and then discover asmall inclination to deceit; for which thou wilt not be angry with thebeautiful creatures when thou hast considered that at the age of seven,or something earlier, miss is instructed by her mother that master is avery monstrous kind of animal, who will, if she suffers him to come toonear her, infallibly eat her up and grind her to pieces: that, so farfrom kissing or toying with him of her own accord, she must not admithim to kiss or toy with her: and, lastly, that she must never have anyaffection towards him; for if she should, all her friends in petticoatswould esteem her a traitress, point at her, and hunt her out of theirsociety. These impressions, being first received, are farther and deeperinculcated by their school-mistresses and companions; so that by the ageof ten they have contracted such a dread and abhorrence of theabove-named monster, that whenever they see him they fly from him as theinnocent hare doth from the greyhound. Hence, to the age of fourteen orfifteen, they entertain a mighty antipathy to master; they resolve, andfrequently profess, that they will never have any commerce with him, andentertain fond hopes of passing their lives out of his reach, of thepossibility of which they have so visible an example in their goodmaiden aunt. But when they arrive at this period, and have now passedtheir second climacteric, when their wisdom, grown riper, begins to seea little farther, and, from almost daily falling in master's way, toapprehend the great difficulty of keeping out of it; and when theyobserve him look often at them, and sometimes very eagerly and earnestlytoo (for the monster seldom takes any notice of them till at this age),they then begin to think of their danger; and, as they perceive theycannot easily avoid him, the wiser part bethink themselves of providingby other means for their security. They endeavour, by all methods theycan invent, to render themselves so amiable in his eyes, that he mayhave no inclination to hurt them; in which they generally succeed sowell, that his eyes, by frequent languishing, soon lessen their idea ofhis fierceness, and so far abate their fears, that they venture toparley with him; and when they perceive him so different from what hehath been described, all gentleness, softness, kindness, tenderness,fondness, their dreadful apprehensions vanish in a moment; and now (itbeing usual with the human mind to skip from one extreme to itsopposite, as easily, and almost as suddenly, as a bird from one bough toanother) love instantly succeeds to fear: but, as it happens to personswho have in their infancy been thoroughly frightened with certainno-persons called ghosts, that they retain their dread of those beingsafter they are convinced that there are no such things, so these youngladies, though they no longer apprehend devouring, cannot so entirelyshake off all that hath been instilled into them; they still entertainthe idea of that censure which was so strongly imprinted on their tenderminds, to which the declarations of abhorrence they every day hear fromtheir companions greatly contribute. To avoid this censure, therefore,is now their only care; for which purpose they still pretend the sameaversion to the monster: and the more they love him, the more ardentlythey counterfeit the antipathy. By the continual and constant practiceof which deceit on others, they at length impose on themselves, andreally believe they hate what they love. Thus, indeed, it happened toLady Booby, who loved Joseph long before she knew it; and now loved himmuch more than she suspected. She had indeed, from the time of hissister's arrival in the quality of her niece, and from the instant sheviewed him in the dress and character of a gentleman, began to conceivesecretly a design which love had concealed from herself till a dreambetrayed it to her.

  She had no sooner risen than she sent for her nephew. When he came toher, after many compliments on his choice, she told him, "He mightperceive, in her condescension to admit her own servant to her table,that she looked on the family of Andrews as his relations, and indeedhers; that, as he had married into such a family, it became him toendeavour by all methods to raise it as much as possible. At length sheadvised him to use all his heart to dissuade Joseph from his intendedmatch, which would still enlarge their relation to meanness and poverty;concluding that, by a commission in the army, or some other genteelemployment, he might soon put young Mr Andrews on the foot of agentleman; and, that being once done, his accomplishments might quicklygain him an alliance which would not be to their discredit."

  Her nephew heartily embraced this proposal, and, finding Mr Joseph withhis wife, at his return to her chamber, he immediately began thus: "Mylove to my dear Pamela, brother, will extend to all her relations; norshall I show them less respect than if I had married into the family ofa duke. I hope I have given you some early testimonies of this, andshall continue to give you daily more. You will excuse me therefore,brother, if my concern for your interest makes me mention what may be,perhaps, disagreeable to you to hear: but I must insist upon it, that,if you have any value for my alliance or my friendship, you will declineany thoughts of engaging farther with a girl who is, as you are arelation of mine, so much beneath you. I know there may be at first somedifficulty in your compliance, but that will daily diminish; and youwill in the end sincerely thank me for my advice. I own, indeed, thegirl is handsome; but beauty alone is a poor ingredient, and will makebut an uncomfortable marriage."--"Sir," said Joseph, "I assure you herbeauty is her least perfection; nor do I know a virtue which that youngcreature is not possesst of."--"As to her virtues," answered Mr Booby,"you can be yet but a slender judge of them; but, if she had never somany, you will find her equal in these among her superiors in birth andfortune, which now you are to esteem on a footing with yourself; atleast I will take care they shall shortly be so, unless you prevent meby degrading yourself with such a match, a match I have hardly patienceto think of, and which would break the hearts of your parents, who nowrejoice in the expectation of seeing you make a figure in theworld."--"I know not," replied Joseph, "that my parents have any powerover my inclinations; nor am I obliged to sacrifice my happiness totheir whim or ambition: besides, I shall be very sorry to see that theunexpected advancement of my sister should so suddenly inspire them withthis wicked pride, and make them despise their equals. I am resolved onno account to quit my dear Fanny; no, though I could raise her as highabove her present station as you have raised my sister."--"Your sister,as well as myself," said Booby, "are greatly obliged to you for thecomparison: but, sir, she is not worthy to be compared in beauty to myPamela; nor hath she half her merit. And besides, sir, as you civillythrow my marriage with your sister in my teeth, I must teach you thewide difference between us: my fortune enabled me to please myself; andit would have been as overgrown a folly in me to have omitted it as inyou to do it."--"My fortune enables me to please myself likewise," saidJoseph; "for all my pleasure is centered in Fanny; and whilst I havehealth I shall be able to support her with my labour in that station towhich she was born, and with which she is content."--"Brother," saidPamela, "Mr Booby advises you as a friend; and no doubt my papa andmamma will be of his opinion, and will have great reason to be angrywith you for destroying what his goodness hath done, and throwing downour family again, after he hath raised it. It would become you better,brother, to pray for the assistance of grace against such a pa
ssion thanto indulge it."--"Sure, sister, you are not in earnest; I am sure she isyour equal, at least."--"She was my equal," answered Pamela; "but I amno longer Pamela Andrews; I am now this gentleman's lady, and, as such,am above her.--I hope I shall never behave with an unbecoming pride:but, at the same time, I shall always endeavour to know myself, andquestion not the assistance of grace to that purpose." They were nowsummoned to breakfast, and thus ended their discourse for the present,very little to the satisfaction of any of the parties.

  Fanny was now walking in an avenue at some distance from the house,where Joseph had promised to take the first opportunity of coming toher. She had not a shilling in the world, and had subsisted ever sinceher return entirely on the charity of parson Adams. A young gentleman,attended by many servants, came up to her, and asked her if that was notthe Lady Booby's house before him? This, indeed, he well knew; but hadframed the question for no other reason than to make her look up, anddiscover if her face was equal to the delicacy of her shape. He nosooner saw it than he was struck with amazement. He stopt his horse, andswore she was the most beautiful creature he ever beheld. Then,instantly alighting and delivering his horse to his servant, he rapt outhalf-a-dozen oaths that he would kiss her; to which she at firstsubmitted, begging he would not be rude; but he was not satisfied withthe civility of a salute, nor even with the rudest attack he could makeon her lips, but caught her in his arms, and endeavoured to kiss herbreasts, which with all her strength she resisted, and, as our spark wasnot of the Herculean race, with some difficulty prevented. The younggentleman, being soon out of breath in the struggle, quitted her, and,remounting his horse, called one of his servants to him, whom he orderedto stay behind with her, and make her any offers whatever to prevail onher to return home with him in the evening; and to assure her he wouldtake her into keeping. He then rode on with his other servants, andarrived at the lady's house, to whom he was a distant relation, and wascome to pay a visit.

  The trusty fellow, who was employed in an office he had been longaccustomed to, discharged his part with all the fidelity and dexterityimaginable, but to no purpose. She was entirely deaf to his offers, andrejected them with the utmost disdain. At last the pimp, who had perhapsmore warm blood about him than his master, began to sollicit forhimself; he told her, though he was a servant, he was a man of somefortune, which he would make her mistress of; and this without anyinsult to her virtue, for that he would marry her. She answered, if hismaster himself, or the greatest lord in the land, would marry her, shewould refuse him. At last, being weary with persuasions, and on firewith charms which would have almost kindled a flame in the bosom of anancient philosopher or modern divine, he fastened his horse to theground, and attacked her with much more force than the gentleman hadexerted. Poor Fanny would not have been able to resist his rudeness ashort time, but the deity who presides over chaste love sent her Josephto her assistance. He no sooner came within sight, and perceived herstruggling with a man, than, like a cannon-ball, or like lightning, oranything that is swifter, if anything be, he ran towards her, and,coming up just as the ravisher had torn her handkerchief from herbreast, before his lips had touched that seat of innocence and bliss, hedealt him so lusty a blow in that part of his neck which a rope wouldhave become with the utmost propriety, that the fellow staggeredbackwards, and, perceiving he had to do with something rougher than thelittle, tender, trembling hand of Fanny, he quitted her, and, turningabout, saw his rival, with fire flashing from his eyes, again ready toassail him; and, indeed, before he could well defend himself, or returnthe first blow, he received a second, which, had it fallen on that partof the stomach to which it was directed, would have been probably thelast he would have had any occasion for; but the ravisher, lifting uphis hand, drove the blow upwards to his mouth, whence it dislodged threeof his teeth; and now, not conceiving any extraordinary affection forthe beauty of Joseph's person, nor being extremely pleased with thismethod of salutation, he collected all his force, and aimed a blow atJoseph's breast, which he artfully parried with one fist, so that itlost its force entirely in air; and, stepping one foot backward, hedarted his fist so fiercely at his enemy, that, had he not caught it inhis hand (for he was a boxer of no inferior fame), it must have tumbledhim on the ground. And now the ravisher meditated another blow, which heaimed at that part of the breast where the heart is lodged; Joseph didnot catch it as before, yet so prevented its aim that it fell directlyon his nose, but with abated force. Joseph then, moving both fist andfoot forwards at the same time, threw his head so dexterously into thestomach of the ravisher that he fell a lifeless lump on the field, wherehe lay many minutes breathless and motionless.

  When Fanny saw her Joseph receive a blow in his face, and blood runningin a stream from him, she began to tear her hair and invoke all humanand divine power to his assistance. She was not, however, long underthis affliction before Joseph, having conquered his enemy, ran to her,and assured her he was not hurt; she then instantly fell on her knees,and thanked God that he had made Joseph the means of her rescue, and atthe same time preserved him from being injured in attempting it. Sheoffered, with her handkerchief, to wipe his blood from his face; but he,seeing his rival attempting to recover his legs, turned to him, andasked him if he had enough? To which the other answered he had; for hebelieved he had fought with the devil instead of a man; and, looseninghis horse, said he should not have attempted the wench if he had knownshe had been so well provided for.

  Fanny now begged Joseph to return with her to parson Adams, and topromise that he would leave her no more. These were propositions soagreeable to Joseph, that, had he heard them, he would have given animmediate assent; but indeed his eyes were now his only sense; for youmay remember, reader, that the ravisher had tore her handkerchief fromFanny's neck, by which he had discovered such a sight, that Joseph hathdeclared all the statues he ever beheld were so much inferior to it inbeauty, that it was more capable of converting a man into a statue thanof being imitated by the greatest master of that art. This modestcreature, whom no warmth in summer could ever induce to expose hercharms to the wanton sun, a modesty to which, perhaps, they owed theirinconceivable whiteness, had stood many minutes bare-necked in thepresence of Joseph before her apprehension of his danger and the horrorof seeing his blood would suffer her once to reflect on what concernedherself; till at last, when the cause of her concern had vanished, anadmiration at his silence, together with observing the fixed positionof his eyes, produced an idea in the lovely maid which brought moreblood into her face than had flowed from Joseph's nostrils. The snowyhue of her bosom was likewise changed to vermilion at the instant whenshe clapped her handkerchief round her neck. Joseph saw the uneasinessshe suffered, and immediately removed his eyes from an object, insurveying which he had felt the greatest delight which the organs ofsight were capable of conveying to his soul;--so great was his fear ofoffending her, and so truly did his passion for her deserve the noblename of love.

  Fanny, being recovered from her confusion, which was almost equalled bywhat Joseph had felt from observing it, again mentioned her request;this was instantly and gladly complied with; and together they crossedtwo or three fields, which brought them to the habitation of Mr Adams.