Twin Shorts

Belly Boob Billy

  Extra credit assignment (rough draft)

  I used to love group work. I mean, my best friend Tai is a genius! Anytime we worked together in class, I was guaranteed an easy A. But, unfortunately, Tai is so smart that they put her in eighth grade this year, so bye-bye my one way ticket to automatic A-ville. As soon as the seventh grade science teacher Mr. Barkley (or Mr. Broccoli as everyone calls him) said we had a group project due on Friday, I died a little inside because I knew I would actually have to do work and with me and my lack of book skills, I knew an A was out of the question.

  But it gets worse.

  I was assigned to work with Billy Wescott. The infamous Billy Wescott. Kill me.

  See Billy has an outie belly button which I hate. I know that seems petty, just wait, there's more. Normally the direction which someone's belly button poked wouldn't be a problem. But in Billy's case it was a huge issue. Billy liked to wear really tight shirts for some reason. Well, maybe he didn't really like it and was just forced into it because he had to wear hand me downs from his three older brothers. The older Wescott boys were skinny as string beans on SlimFast. I mean Coach Taylor forced Jamie Wescott to drink weight gain drinks for a month before he let him come near the high school football field.

  Unfortunately, Billy didn't inherit the skinny gene. He was plump all over. So the clothing from his older brothers were a bit snug. That combined with his outie belly button made for some awkward situations.

  When I talk to Billy Wescott it takes all of my energy to make sure I focus on his face and not the nub sticking out of his stomach. How was I supposed to work with him alone for a week and overcome the temptation to stare?

  Just to give you an idea of how bad the belly button situation is, once in fifth grade, Manny took a picture of Billy's belly cropped it just right, then sold copies of it for a dollar a piece. When the boys who bought the picture later figured out they weren't actually staring at a woman's breast, most of them were too embarrassed to ask Manny for their money back. Manny made a killing. That's also when poor Billy got the nickname Belly Boob Billy. Two years later, he was still saddled with the embarrassing name.

  Enter my evil, annoying yet still pretty brilliant little brothers.

  Billy and I were standing in my backyard working on our kinetic energy machine. Don't be impressed. We made a ramp out of cardboard then rolled my little brother's toy cars down it. Bam! Kinetic energy.

  "Wow! It's huge!" Charlie said.

  "I told you," Chester said.

  I turned around to see what they were talking about and immediately got embarrassed.

  "Boys, it's not polite to stare," I said, pulling them away from where they were pointing at Billy's belly.

  "It's okay," Billy said with a sigh. "Everyone does it."

  "Are you sure?" I asked.

  Billy nodded and then lifted up his shirt much to the delight of my little brothers who squealed and started dancing around Billy.

  I put my head in my hands. I felt so bad for him. Was he doomed to go through life feeling like a circus freak?

  My brothers pointed and stared at Billy's Belly for what felt like forever. Finally, Charlie looked at Chester and said, "Got it?"

  Chester nodded and said, "Yep, got it."

  I had no idea what they were talking about. I was just happy that they both turned and ran back into the house.

  "I am so sorry about that, Billy."

  He shrugged. "I don't even really care anymore," he said. But I could tell he did. His plump little face frowned as we went back to inspecting our machine. As if our cardboard ramp needed any further inspection. It was doomed for C-ville at best no matter what we named it.

  Fifteen minutes later, Billy and I sat at my kitchen table sipping lemonade. All we could hear was the clanking of our ice cubes as I tried to think of something to say that would make him feel better about his deformity.

  "I got a nasty hang nail on my big toe. Wanna see?" I asked excitedly as I slapped my foot on the table.

  "Nah, that's okay. I better get home." Billy stood up and started heading for the door. Suddenly, my brothers burst into the kitchen so fast they nearly knocked him over.

  "We got it!" Charlie and Chester said in unison while holding up an odd little contraption. It looked like it was part pantyhose, part socks, and part belt with some rubber bands weaved around it.

  "Got what?" I asked.

  "Here. It's for Billy," Charlie said waving in front of Billy's face.

  "We think it will solve his belly boob problem," Chester added.

  "What is it? Where did you get it from?" Billy asked. I could tell he was curious. Anything that might possibly end his days as the belly boob boy had to capture his attention.

  "We made it," Chester said. "After studying your belly, we knew exactly what to do."

  "Hey! Are those my pantyhose?" I yelled. "I told you brats to stay out of my room!"

  "Here. Put it on," Charlie said ignoring me.

  Billy looked at me as if asking if it was okay. I rolled my eyes and shrugged. Billy actually smiled as he took the contraption and headed to the bathroom to try it on.

  About a minute later I was shocked by the new Billy. Not only did his belly button no longer stick out, but he looked like ten pounds thinner. My little brothers had essentially created a girdle with belly button hiding capabilities. It was amazing! I didn't know whether I was more shocked that it worked or that my brothers had created it.

  There was so much potential for this little invention. I mean who knew how many other hundreds of kids out there suffered from the same thing as Billy? The twins could name their contraption and sell it on Ebay. I started to see some dollar signs in my mind. But first, this belly button thingie was gonna get me right on the train to A-ville!