Outside (Outside Series #1)

  ‘It’s impossible,’ Pa says. ‘No one could possibly have put that much alcohol away. You should be dead.’ He doesn’t sound angry, just incredulous.

  ‘I wish I was dead,’ she slurs. Then she laughs.

  ‘Stop it. You’re really worrying me. You need help.’

  I hear her say something else, but I can’t make out the words.

  ‘No!’ Pa shouts. ‘Absolutely not!’

  My heart speeds up and a hot flush sweeps across my scalp. Please God, I think, stop them arguing. Please let them be normal. But my prayers aren’t answered.

  ‘If you think I’m getting you anymore alcohol, you’re mad!’ Pa continues. ‘What? So you can drink yourself to death. What about Riley? Have you forgotten you’ve got another daughter?’

  I close my bedroom door in fright as a crashing noise rushes down the hall towards me. Ma must’ve thrown something. I can hear her angry screams. The bass notes of Pa’s voice soothe her shrill hysterics and gradually her screams subside.

  I stand with my back to my bedroom door, out of breath as though I’ve been running hard. I hear it all, listening with horrified fascination. Skye has gone, my father is an emotional void and my mother is a drunken mess. Another smash, another shriek, another shout. I have to get out of here.

  I don’t want to go out in just my t shirt, so I pull on a pair of denim cut offs, tiptoe into the hall and creep down the stairs. I unchain the front door, unlock it and stumble outside into the warm night air. The panic subsides a little and I breathe in deeply through my nose. My world has sunk into an abyss from which I can’t imagine ever escaping. Nothing is solid or sure anymore. Life has become a shifting swamp of monsters and nightmares and I want to wake up.

  I find myself in Luc’s driveway - I’ve wandered next door. Knowing his parents are still away, I ring the doorbell and wait. After a minute I see the hall light come on and the outline of a person. Normally I would never ring someone’s doorbell in the middle of the night - that was Skye’s territory. But there’s nothing normal about my life anymore.

  ‘Riley?’ Luc says through a yawn. ‘You okay?’

  I shake my head.

  ‘What is it?’

  I shake my head again, suddenly overcome with the urge to cry.

  ‘Come in,’ he says, concerned.

  I don’t explain or apologise, but follow him through to the lounge.

  ‘What’s up, Riley?’ he asks, sitting on a large armchair. ‘Did something happen?’

  ‘No,’ I squeak, trying desperately not to cry. I sink onto the sofa and chew my nails.

  ‘Do you want to talk about it?’ He tries again.

  I shake my head and try to get rid of the lump in my throat.

  ‘I just want to do something normal,’ I whisper, knowing how ridiculous that sounds after coming here in the middle of the night.

  We sit there for a minute in silence. I try to compose myself, not wanting to break down in front of Luc. I hear the ticking of a clock. It sounds as though it’s getting louder, but I must be imagining it.

  ‘Wanna play Uno?’ Luc asks, standing up and going over to the sideboard. He opens a drawer and pulls out a pack of cards.

  ‘I love Uno,’ I say. ‘Me and Skye always used to play.’

  One hour later and I’ve managed to get the earlier events of the night down to a background hum in my head.

  ‘How come you always beat me?’ I throw my cards onto the floor in disgust.

  ‘Sheer skill,’ he replies.

  ‘Cheating I reckon.’

  ‘No, you’re just a bad loser,’ he smirks.