Damaged

  Ring, ring.

  Ring, ring.

  Ring, ring.

  I close my eyes and pray to a God I’m not even sure exists for Jessica to pick up her phone. I know I dialed the right number. It’s a number I’ve used a million times since becoming her sole provider.

  By some miracle, she finally answers. “Hello?”

  My eyes shoot open as rave music filters in through the earpiece. A party. Of course she is. I guess Talia is as good at keeping her on the straight and narrow as I am.

  “Jessica?”

  The music slowly fades as she undoubtedly slips into a quieter room. “Jai? Is that you?”

  I smile as relief floods me. The stress headache that ruthlessly squeezed my brain a second ago releases its grip and fades into nothing. To hear her voice... I can’t even explain it.

  “Yeah, it’s me.”

  “Oh my gosh. Are you okay? Where have you been?”

  Out of the corner of my eye, I spot a police officer strolling down the sidewalk. I dip my head and turn my back to him. My heart smashes into my ribcage. He can probably smell the anxiety on me.

  “Jessica, listen. I can’t talk long. I need you to grab Talia and get out of the country.”

  “Jai—”

  “—please, I am begging you to listen to me just this once. Forget your friends. Forget your plans. You need to get out as soon as you can.”

  I pause as the officer passes directly behind me, whistling a merry tune. I don’t realize I’m holding my breath until my lungs begin to burn.

  “Is this about Joel? You’ve found him?”

  The excitement in her voice is like fingernails on a blackboard...because I’m a fucking failure. I exhale.

  “No—yes—almost. Just grab Talia and go, all right?”

  “All right.” She answer immediately. No bitchiness. No teenage attitude. “I trust you.”

  I close my eyes. Thank God.

  “Where do we go?” She asks. “What do we do? Will I ever see you again? You’re not giving me much to work with.”

  “Go to Italy.” I say. It’s the first city that pops into my head. “Get a tan, do some shopping, and relax. I’ll meet you there once I’m finished.”

  Jessica blurts out questions one after the other. Questions I don’t have answers for. Where is Joel? Is he alive? Are you okay? Where have you been? When will you come home? Will I ever see you again?

  “I love you, Jess, all right?” I cut in, stopping her questions before she realizes I don’t have the answers.

  “Don’t say it like that.”

  I cringe at her tone...the way it chokes her up...I hate it.

  “I gotta go. Get on a plane and I’ll come find you when I’m finished.”

  “Jai—”

  I hang up the phone and drop my head against the metal box. It’s as cold as ice. It’s cold enough to give me brain freeze from the outside. I pull away and stare at the little silver numbers. Ten more digits pop up in my mind. Ten digits that form the cell number of a guy I worked with.

  Ted Gile.

  He was the realest guy in the precinct. He was someone I could trust—the only person who had my back when I was suspended. I lift the handpiece, hit the first three digits and pause. If he’s become one of them, if he’s been sucked in by the corruption, then I could end up regretting this...but if he hasn’t, if he can provide me with some information to help me find Joel, then it’s a call I’m going to wish I made sooner. Holding my breath, I pound out the last seven digits and bring the phone to my ear.

  Please don’t let this come back to fuck me in the ass.

  ****

  I watch him from the shadows as he leans against his car, his long arms folded tightly over his chest. I don’t like that he’s come in uniform. It puts me on edge. I’ve made him wait there in the empty parking lot outside of the convenience store for thirty minutes so far. There’s no telltale sign of him betraying me. No shifty glances over his shoulder or dodgy phone calls so I bite the bullet.

  I step out from the shadow of the metal stairs that cling to the side of the commercial building, clenching my jaw so my teeth don’t chatter from the cold.

  He spots me immediately and pushes off the car. “Well, holy shit. You are alive. Some assholes down at precinct owe me a lot of money. “

  He beams widely, his dark lips splitting to reveal bright white teeth. Ted. Ted-fucking-Gile. He stretches his hand to me and I slip mine in his. He grips it tightly, pulling me in for a quick hug.

  “It’s been a while, man.” I say, slapping him on the back.

  He lets me go and leans against his car. Though I saw him a little over a month ago, he’s changed in appearance. His tall, dark body is harder, his muscles more prominent. Though he’s five years my senior, his face is soft and youthful. I probably look like an old man with the amount of stress I’ve endured since I saw him last.

  “Word on the street is you pissed off a very important, very dangerous person.”

  I roll my eyes. Twenty-four hours and already the entire NYPD knows what I’ve done? Corrupt motherfuckers. The lot of them.

  “You know me, Ted. I piss off just about everyone.”

  He chuckles and nods. “You never know when to stop, do you? You weren’t happy with pissing off the entire New York police force you just had to go and piss off the bad guys too?”

  Ted knows better than anyone why I did what I did.

  “I’m doing what I have to do.”

  “I know.” His dark, chocolate eyes narrow in on me. “Is that why you called me?”

  I nod. Ted shakes his head and adjusts his stance, widening his legs. “The NYPD doesn’t know anything. You were there when the commissioner handed the case over to the higher ups. I’m sorry, but I can’t help you, brother.”

  He thinks it’s that simple? That it’s over because someone else’s organization has taken over the case? I step closer to him.

  “Oh, but you can. The FBI, Special Task Force and SWAT are all working under your roof. The precinct is crawling with information that can help me…information I’m sure you can get access to.”

  Ted’s jaw clenches. I’m pushing him out of his comfort zone. I wouldn’t normally put so much pressure on someone, but this isn’t a normal circumstance. I won’t get the information I need without applying a little pressure.

  “Jai, I can get into a lot trouble.”

  “I wouldn’t ask you if I wasn’t desperate.”

  He shakes his head and I exhale. There’s an incident I remember and I didn’t want to use it against him, but he’s giving me no choice.

  “Do you remember the time—”

  Ted pushes off the car, his six foot four frame towering over me. “Oh, hell no. You can’t use that against me, man.”

  “—you shot that poor old ladies dog?”

  He snarls at me, but I don’t flinch. It’ll take a hell of a lot more than his height to intimidate me.

  “He was fucking huge and he was vicious!”

  “You shot it.” I push forward. “And I covered your ass when that woman wanted your badge on her mantel piece next to her dog’s ashes.”

  Ted turns away from me, running his hands over his head. Last time I saw him, his hair stood two inches off his skull. Now it clings tightly to it. A buzz cut like his girlfriend always wanted.

  “You can’t do anything with that information. No one will believe you now.”

  I frown. “I don’t want to use the information against you, I just want you to remember that I was there for you when you needed it and all I ask is that you do the same for me. If not, if you can’t help me, forget I said anything and forget I called you here tonight. I’ll do it on my own.”

  He doesn’t turn to face me and I don’t expect him to. I’m asking a lot of him—more than I have the right to. I know the last thing I should be doing is pulling another innocent into my mess, but I need him. I need someone I can trust that has access to new information.

  A sma
ll eternity passes and I turn away from Ted with my answer.

  I’m on my own.

  The third step I take echoes in my head and I slump my shoulders. Where the fuck do I go from here?

  “Who’s the girl you’re with?” He calls after me and I stop dead in my tracks.

  My blood runs cold, chilling me down to my bones. Slowly, I turn around. Where’d he get that information from?

  “What girl?”

  Surprisingly, my voice sounds detached. Good. No one can know about Emily.

  He stuffs his hands into his pockets. “I might have dug around a little, looking for your ass. Word is you took off with Skull’s girl.”

  I scoff, unable to hide a sneer. I feel it contort my face. “Skull’s girl? She’s not his.”

  Ted raises his eyebrows and I clench my jaw until my teeth ache. Fuck.

  “So there is a girl?”

  Since I’ve already fucked myself, I say: “She has nothing to do with anything She wound up down there by accident—an innocent in every sense of the word.”

  “He’s looking for her, Stone. He’s posted a fuckload of money on her being returned to him...alive.”

  I plant my hands on my hips and drop my stare to the concrete. Fucking Kitten...what the hell are we going to do?

  I barely have time to figure out the first step of my plan when Ted slips three credit cards in my line of sight.

  “The cards you wanted.”

  I take them and stuff them into my pocket. “Were they where I said they’d be?”

  He nods. “In your bedside drawer.”

  “Thanks.” I run my hand over my face. “I should get back...”

  I really wish tonight worked out better than this. I wish I could return to the lake house with some kind of plan.

  “I’m sorry I can’t help you, Stone. I really am.”

  His eyes are soft—apologetic. It sends heavy tendrils of dread burrowing through my chest. Now I see why Emily hates it so much. The sympathy...it doesn’t feel good. Even with the dense feeling of failure on my chest I shrug his apology off. I’m thankful he’s come this far for me at least. He drove hours just to meet me here.

  “Don’t worry about it.” I tell him. “I’ll figure it out.”

  I step around Ted and head for the large convenience store across the parking lot. I make it halfway before I turn around. He has his door open and an arm on the roof.

  “Do me a favor? Make sure Jess is on a plane by this time tomorrow night?”

  He nods. “Sure thing, brother.”

  I wrap my arms around myself and turn around. Though I didn’t get what I wanted from Ted at least I got my cards. I can’t exactly fight an entire criminal empire with an empty stomach and a bad case of pneumonia.

  I don’t know what my future plans hold, but at least they begin with warm clothes and a full belly. Once I’m sorted, I can take on the world.

  Him

  Emily

  And he feels so good, so refreshing like cool rain on burning skin. I’ve lost count how many times he thrusts his cock so passionately into me, breathing heavy into the nape of my neck, my name sliding erotically off of his tongue.

  I know I’m asleep. I know I’m dreaming, but I don’t care. This is what I want. He is what I want.

  One of his large, strong hands grip my ass and he aggressively moves my hips into him, forcing my pussy to milk him as hard as it can.

  And I am so close... so close I can taste it. Yes. Fuck. Please! It’s absolute torture to teeter on the edge of an orgasm.

  Sweet, agonizing torture.

  Despite how good he feels there’s something missing... something lacking. It isn’t until I feel the very tip of his finger at my ass that I know what it is. I’ve never done that before, but I’ve never desired it as much as I do now...

  My eyes flutter open as my back meets a soft mattress. I blink a couple times, clearing away the blur that covers my eyes. The sun is barely up, but its early morning glow is sufficient enough to light the bedroom, allowing me to see his face. And what a face he has.

  “Sorry.” He whispers. “I thought you’d be more comfortable up here...”

  “You’re back?” I croak out, tiredly.

  “I knocked four times.” He says, smiling slightly. “You didn’t hear me.”

  I must have been in a deep sleep. Imagine how screwed I would have been if Skull somehow managed to locate us. I roll onto my side. “How’s your sister?”

  Jai sits on the edge of the bed and when he glances down, I take the opportunity to swallow the saliva pooling in my mouth.

  “She’s safe.” He says, looking back at me. “She’s flying out to Italy today, I hope.”

  I sigh. “I love Italy.”

  I wish I was able to get on a plane and leave the country whenever I wanted.

  “I know. That’s why I sent her there.” Jai scratches the back of his head. “I thought that maybe, when this is over, we can meet her in Rome.”

  My eyebrows shoot up. “We? As in me and you?”

  He nods. “You love Italy.”

  Fact.

  “I do.”

  “So that’s where we’ll go.”

  I roll onto my back. “But Italy is expensive…and a long way away.”

  Jai frowns and tilts his head to the side. “You’d give up the chance to go to Italy?”

  “If it puts financial stress on someone else, yes.”

  He turns his body towards me and my heart kicks up in tempo as he reaches over my waist and plants his hand on the mattress. His forearm presses against the side of my body and all I can do is focus on it. My breath halts in my throat as he leans in close, so close his breath skitters over my lips.

  “You’re coming to Italy with me and I’m going to show you the time of your life.”

  Oh, fuck Italy for the moment. I’m not even thinking about that anymore. I can’t. Not while his body heat is burning against mine. Sure, going to Italy is a dream come true, but it’s not something I can have right now. The word alone isn’t going to sate my desire for adventure and pleasure. I watch Jai as he watches me and he sees it. I know he does.

  “Why are you looking at me like that?”

  Because I want you to fuck me hard, soft, and drive me fucking crazy! As if it isn’t obvious.

  “Like what?” I ask, putting a spin of innocence on it.

  That way he can’t tell my insides are raging because I’m horny as hell for him. My lips curl into a smug grin.

  “Like that.”

  I push myself up onto my elbows. “Are you tired?”

  His eyes darken with promise as he leans a little closer. “No.”

  “I like your answer.”

  He closes the gap, pressing his forehead against mine. Electricity sizzles between us. It’s a tension that’s causing my muscles to tense and my nipples to harden.

  “Why are you tormenting me?”

  I brush my lips over his and in the silence I hear his breath hitch.

  “You consider my desire for you torment?”

  “Of lethal degree. Do you have any idea how fucking tormenting it is being alone with you? It’s like willingly crushing your balls in a vice.”

  Wow. That’s one hell of a compliment…I also don’t know how bad that feels, you know, because I don’t have balls.

  “You kissed me earlier.” I utter, reminding him of the brief moment we spent on the dock. “Did you like it?”

  He groans followed by an almost silent curse. “You’re getting me hard talking in that low voice, Kitten. Of course I liked it.”

  He tries to back away, but I follow him until I’m on my knees with his collar in my hands. My fingers tremble around the fabric and his breath blows with uncertainty across my face.

  “Show me.”

  “Emily—”

  “Please.” I whisper, kissing him softly on the mouth. “I need you inside me.”

  He hangs his head back, exposing his throat. I don’t care what anyone s
ays the throat is one of the sexiest things a man has. I’d put it up there underneath obliques, a nice smile and a sense of humor.

  I plant a soft kiss at the base of his throat.

  “I had a dream about you.” I murmur against his hot skin.

  His Adam’s apple bobs, as he swallows hard.

  “Fucking hell.” He sighs. “Stop tempting me. I don’t have protection.”

  Ah, so his hang up is protection. No big deal. The chances of me being getting pregnant are slim to none. I can’t even recall the last time I had a period. A common companion to PCOS is...what did my doctor call it? Amenora? Amenorrhea? Either way, I’m practically infertile and if a single unprotected fuck session is going to reverse all of that then, shit, the baby deserves to be born. I’d mention my condition, but nothing is more of a boner killer than a word with ‘orrhea’ at the end. Especially during sex.

  “You want to know what you were doing to me…in my dream?”

  Under my lips, his throat vibrates with another groan. They zip over the surface of my tongue and into my body. I’ve never wanted a man like I want Jai and I want him bad. I crave his touch like a crack addict craves their next fix.

  “You were fucking me. Hard.” My breath hitches as I recall it.

  Hot.

  Sweaty.

  Passionate.

  “And you felt so good.”

  Jai swears. Again. “Shit.”

  I pull back enough for him to bring his face to my level. When we’re face to face and I can no longer see into the dark depths of his deep, blue eyes, I know there’s no going back. He’s going to give me exactly what I want. A strong man always gives a lady what she wants.

  “Did you come?” He asks, his voice sinfully inappropriate.

  Smirking, I shuffle forward and slip my leg over his thighs. “I could have, but you woke me up.”

  I slide forward until my hips are flush against his. His body is warm and firm. His body is everything a man’s should be. As the tips of his fingers brush over my thighs, his touch disappointingly muted by the thin, gray fabric of my sweatpants, I brush my lips against his.