With My Last Breath

  that Raquel’s did. She was the same child. My heart started skipping beats. What did this mean?

  ‚Gwendolyn,' I repeated. ‚What a beautiful name! And so very close to our own queen’s name. That makes you special,' I added. ‚Queen Guinevere will be so honored to hear of this.'

  ‚She will?' the child asked shyly as she fidgeted nervously with her foot.

  ‚Of course she will,' I assured her. ‚In fact, stay with me and I’ll introduce you to her in a few minutes. Would you like that?'

  The child looked at me in wonder. I knew she had probably heard all about the new king and his beautiful queen from her parents. To meet them now was beyond anything she’d ever imagined.

  ‚Were your parents killed, as well?' I asked gently.

  ‚No,' she answered. ‚I do not have parents. I’ve been an orphan since birth.'

  ‚I’m sorry for that,' I replied softly. ‚But we will find a place for you here. And you will belong.'

  She smiled, a beatific smile that didn’t quite make it to her eyes.

  ‚Thank you, my lady,' she murmured, dipping her head. Above her, I sought out my mother from across the courtyard. Catching my gaze, she made her way to my side.

  ‚Heleyne, are you almost finished here?' she asked, drawing next to me curiously.

  ‚We should ready the extra bedrooms inside.'

  ‚Of course, your highness,' I answered. ‚But first, I’d like for you to meet Gwendolyn.' I patted the little girl’s back and she stepped forward. My mother’s eyes widened when she saw her and I caught her eye again.

  She knelt, grasping the child’s hand.

  ‚Hello there, little one,' she murmured, staring into the child’s heart-shaped face. ‚I like your name.'

  ‚Your lady told me you would,' Gwendolyn answered shyly. ‚It’s nice to meet you, your highness.'

  ‚And it is so very nice to meet you,' Guinevere answered. ‚Would you like to stay here with us for awhile?'

  Gwendolyn nodded. ‚Yes, please,' she replied. ‚I don’t have anywhere else to go.'

  She dropped her head in shame and I lifted her chin with a finger, forcing her to meet my stare.

  ‚That is not your fault, young one,' I assured her. ‚You will be taken care of here.

  Are you hungry?'

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  With My Last Breath, Book Three

  She nodded, as did the other children around her. I motioned for a nearby house servant.

  ‚Please get these children something to eat in the kitchens,' I requested the girl.

  ‚And then show them to a clean guestroom. I’ll check on them later.'

  She nodded and hurried away with them, leaving me to stare at my mother in bewilderment.

  ‚What is going on?' I asked. ‚Why is she here? And in the same exact body as in the Spiritlands? There is not one thing different about her but her name. Her hair, her eyes, her voice is the same. And in the Spiritlands, I found her in a pile of rubble, also.

  Here, she came to us with a group of orphans. There must be a correlation, but what?

  You know that it must mean something. The Fates are using her for a reason.'

  My mother nodded, her eyes absent as she thought. ‚I know not,' she finally admitted. ‚I will consult with your father when next I see him. Perhaps he can remember something that we can’t.'

  ‚Have you seen him this afternoon?' I asked suspiciously, but her eyes widened innocently.

  ‚No, of course not,' she replied quickly. Almost too quickly. ‚I’ve been in my rooms and the knights have been with Arthur. There has not been an opportunity. But I will make sure that I do tonight.'

  ‚Just use care,' I cautioned her, my eyes suddenly drawn to Mordred, who was standing at a window above us. He was watching me with glittering eyes and an almost menacing expression before he turned away. ‚I feel as though we are being watched.'

  ‚Well, we probably are,' she shrugged her shoulders. ‚You knew that this life wasn’t easy when you came here, Heleyne.'

  I nodded wordlessly, watching the hungry peasants assemble around the servants carrying large platters of warm bread for them. Dirty fingers reached to snag pieces of the fragrant prizes as the servants pushed through the teeming crowds.

  There were so many of them, all homeless now, some of them orphans, some of them parents who had lost their children. Grief was everywhere around me and there was nothing I could do about it. And it wouldn’t be so hard to bear if it was simply a random act of violence. But the fact that Fate orchestrated all of these horrible things simply to entertain themselves while they ruled in Zeus’ rightful place made my blood boil.

  ‚I feel weary of all of this,' my mother whispered as we sank onto a nearby bench.

  ‚All of the pain and suffering. It wears on me.'

  I reached over and grasped her hand.

  ‚You read my mind,' I agreed. ‚It is horrible. Life is not always fair, but with the Fates involved, it is never fair. And that is an atrocity.'

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  With My Last Breath, Book Three

  She nodded her head in agreement, watching the melee in front of us as peasants scrambled for food and items of clothing. We tucked our feet underneath of us so that we wouldn’t get stepped on in the chaos.

  We sat that way for a good while before Arthur once again emerged from a side doorway of the castle. Scanning the crowd, he quickly found us and the sea of people parted to let him pass as he made his way to our side.

  Bowing low, he took Guinevere’s hand from mine and kissed it gently, his blue eyes seeking out hers. In his, hesitation and fear lingered and I knew he was afraid that she had not forgiven him. I watched anxiously, waiting to see what she would do. Unable to bear the thought of Arthur’s pain, I almost squeezed my eyes shut so that I didn’t have to witness it.

  But before I could, my mother stood and pressed her lips to Arthur’s. In surprise, his hands clasped at her back and then he pulled her into him for a deeper kiss. As the crowds around us cheered, I met my father’s dark stare from across the courtyard. He turned abruptly and stalked from the commons. I felt a twinge of guilt.

  It must be hard for him to be here, to watch his beloved married to someone else.

  Once again, we were stuck in a parody of the Fates’ choosing.

  Guinevere finally pulled away, her cheeks flushed. Arthur kept her clenched to his side as he turned to face the crowd.

  ‚In Camelot,' he shouted. ‚There is always hope. And when there is hope, anything is possible!'

  The crowd cheered once more and I clapped with them, happy to see the joy that was shining on so many faces. Arthur was truly a charismatic man, someone whose very presence could excite crowds, someone who people innately trusted.

  But as I stood in appreciation of the atmosphere, a wave of nausea washed over me.

  Intense heat flushed my cheeks and the courtyard began to spin. The sea of faces and noises blended into one another and before I knew it, I was on the ground with my cheek resting in the dirt.

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  With My Last Breath, Book Three

  Chapter Nine

  My mother raced to my side and knelt next to me.

  ‚Heleyne,' she uttered as she rubbed my back. ‚What is it?'

  I tried to open my eyes but every time I did, dizziness threatened to make me vomit. I moaned just slightly, but enough to cause my mother to panic.

  ‚Heleyne! Are you in pain?' She looked into the crowd. ‚Someone send for the medicine woman!'

  Before anyone could move, Lucan pushed through the throngs of people and scooped me into his arms. I gazed up at his handsome face for just a moment before I squeezed my eyes shut against the dizzying nausea.

  ‚When you find her, send her to Heleyne’s rooms,' he instructed my mother over his shoulder. His long steps made short work of the courtyard and before I knew it, we were entering the cool darkness of the castle.

  Once out of the sun, I opene
d my eyes. Lucan was staring at me worriedly as he carried me down the halls toward my bedchambers.

  ‚Are you alright?' he asked anxiously. ‚You’re very pale.'

  ‚I’m fine,' I answered, although in truth, I felt horribly weak. My hands were shaking and I didn’t know why. ‚I feel better now. I think maybe I got too hot in the sun.'

  He glared down at me. ‚You shouldn’t tax yourself so much, woman.'

  ‚But it is nice to be rescued by a knight in shining armor,' I quipped lightly.

  Unfamiliar with the phrase, he scowled at me. ‚I’m not wearing armor.'

  Kicking my heavy door open, he crossed my bedchambers in four long steps and laid me gently down on the softness of my bed. Pacing back to my window, his boots clicking on the stone floor, he looked outside.

  ‚I don’t see the old woman,' he muttered impatiently, pacing back. Sitting on the edge of my bed next to me, he grasped my hand.

  ‚How do you feel?' He was so anxious.

  I had to smile. Lucan was perfectly at home on the battlefield, but one sign of sickness or tears and he fell to pieces, at least when it came to me. He had always been that way. I reached up and brushed his dark hair away from his forehead and he leaned into my hand.

  ‚I’m much better now, my love,' I answered softly. ‚I’m happy to be with you.'

  He grinned a cocky grin, one that was still laced with concern. ‚Heleyne, there are better ways than this to spend time with me, I assure you.'

  I laughed and he laughed with me, his voice husky and rich. I felt like I could take a bath in the sound.

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  With My Last Breath, Book Three

  A soft knock resounded on my open door and I glanced up. An old medicine woman creeped into the room, her back hunched and her face concealed by a heavy black hood. She trudged across the room, my mother following on her heels.

  With one arm, she motioned Lucan to move away from me. He stood, but I could feel his reluctance as he lingered close by.

  ‚Move,' she hissed to him. ‚I do not want you here.'

  Lucan’s head jerked up and he glared at her. ‚Old woman, I would like to see you make me leave,' he thundered. ‚This woman will be my wife. I will know what ails her.'

  The old woman turned to him, her fragile back humped grotesquely. ‚And you shall. You shall know when I tell you. But you will wait in the hall. Go.'

  The look on Lucan’s face was priceless because for once, he was speechless. The woman, who could barely be four feet tall, certainly knew no fear. I spoke up.

  ‚My love, I will be fine. We’ll send for you when she is finished. Trust me, I feel better already.'

  He glared once more at the old woman before bending to brush a kiss on my forehead.

  ‚I’ll be waiting,' he assured me. I nodded and watched him stride across the room and disappear into the hall.

  After he left, the old woman slowly turned to me and I gasped.

  She was the same woman who had brought Cleopatra and I the deadly snakes in ancient Alexandria. Was nothing ever what it appeared? What kind of tricks were the Fates playing? Was everything simply a game to them? I turned to my mother and found the same startled look. She recognized the woman, too.

  The old woman’s face was ancient, thick wrinkles lining it. She was the oldest living person that I’d ever seen. Her curled fingernails rasped against my clothing as she began to undo my buttons.

  ‚What are you doing?' I asked, pushing her hands away. ‚I feel much better now. I can keep my clothing on.'

  ‚Heleyne,' my mother interrupted. ‚Let her examine you. You really don’t look well.'

  I glared at my mother for a moment before allowing the old woman to continue her examination. Nausea threatened to overwhelm me with every breath that I took.

  There was definitely something wrong with me.

  The old crone took several minutes unbuttoning my gown and then she shoved it out of her way as she felt along my back, her calloused fingers trailing along my skin.

  Goosebumps formed wherever she touched. Her fingers drifted along my spine, up to my neck, back down to my sides.

  ‚Lie back,' she instructed gruffly.

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  With My Last Breath, Book Three

  ‚Your bedside manner could use some work,' I grumbled as I complied with her request. My head rested in my pillows and I tried to imagine that I was anywhere other than here as the old woman’s probing hands explored every inch and orifice of my body. I kept my eyes glued to the stone ceiling as she pushed my legs apart, my thoughts firmly with Lucan.

  Finally, she raised her head and stood upright.

  ‚You will be fine,' she announced matter-of-factly. ‚You are with child.'

  ‚With child?' My jaw dropped open. ‚You must be joking. You’re mistaken- that’s impossible.'

  I could feel my mother’s eyes frozen on me as I stared at the old woman. She nodded once again, her leathery face impassive.

  ‚I do not make mistakes,' she confirmed. ‚You are with child. I am certain.'

  She drew a handful of sage from her robes and laid it on my nightstand.

  ‚Burn this in your rooms,' she instructed. ‚It will ward away evil spirits. Some spirits try to take the unborn.'

  She turned and trudged toward the doorway. I was in too much shock to reply. My hands automatically flew to my stomach, which was still completely flat. In wonder, I flattened my hand out, gripping at my belly. Could it be true?

  ‚I don’t know,' my mother answered my silent question, crossing to sit next to me.

  ‚I don’t see how.'

  ‚I’ve always thought that I was barren,' I continued, still palming my belly. ‚The Fates always told me that Keepers couldn’t have children. But obviously, I’m not a Keeper, so… ‚

  ‚So, maybe it is true,' Guinevere acknowledged. ‚The Fates cannot control you as a goddess. They could only control your mortal form.'

  ‚But I’m in mortal form now,' I replied in confusion. ‚So I don’t understand how it could be.'

  My mother was already shaking her head. ‚Your body here is mortal, but you’ve already been awakened as a goddess. As long as you are aware of it, you are a goddess no matter what body you are in.'

  ‚But how can this body be pregnant?' I wondered, still completely in awe at the idea. I would be a mother?

  My mother chewed at her lip. ‚If I had to guess, I would say that you brought the pregnancy with you. It makes sense. You and Cadmus were together in the Spiritlands, were you not?'

  My cheeks flared as I nodded. This simply wasn’t something that anyone wanted to discuss with her mother. But she was right. We had been together in the Spiritlands… beginning in Eris’ bathroom and then again in Zeus’ palace. It truly did make a pregnancy possible.

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  With My Last Breath, Book Three

  ‚Then, I do think that you brought the pregnancy with you,' she concluded. ‚Your mortal body isn’t pregnant, your true body is. Once you leave this place, Heleyne will no longer be pregnant. You will take it with you to the Spiritlands.'

  ‚As confusing as that sounds, that makes sense,' I agreed. ‚Which means that we will need to rush our business here. Heleyne is not meant to be pregnant. We cannot have her body begin to show.'

  ‚I agree,' my mother said. ‚But we should rush anyway. We absolutely must find that sword and soon.'

  She sank onto the bed next to me, pulling me into a hug.

  ‚Congratulations, daughter,' she beamed. ‚We shall have to restore the palace nursery in Olympus. I cannot wait to spoil this child. Although, I must say, I’m too young to be a grandmother.'

  ‚You’ll be the most beautiful grandmother on the face of the planet. You are ageless,' I assured her. ‚But this brings with it so many complications. We are in Camelot, Cadmus is trapped in the Wastelands, the future of the Spiritlands is uncertain…'