Silence

to the next

  The last man slowly lowered the bag into the water

  A sound like the popping of a light bulb

  Wait

  Hold it

  We can’t put it under with a broken bottle

  Well we gonna carry it out

  No open it up

  The men stepped toward the man holding the bag

  Each took out one bottle

  Throw it out in the deep water

  There was a splash

  then they all walked stiff-legged toward the white light

  I watched the shadows climb up the riverbank

  I reached the oars

  that slipped between the gas tank and the hull

  ripples surged out in the water like the furling of a flag in the wind

  I used the oar until the current pulled at the bow of the boat

  Clear of the mud I turned it south toward the railroad bridge

  and steered between the pilings

  Fishing lines hung down in the water

  nets dangled at the end of bamboo poles

  and I could see the outline of people

  My watch read 10:05

  I started the motor headed north and tried to remember

  the profile of the trees against the sky

  I traveled up river to drift back again

  and hoped the current would land me in the same part of the river

  The boat bumped against the riverbed

  moved from side to side

  and I could feel a shift in the air

  a light wind

  then stillness

  the canopy of trees blocked the breeze

  White light flickered through the trees

  I took my oar and pushed toward the light

  and the boat slid along the river bottom

  until the motor stuck in the mud

  Silence

  My pulse throbbed in my ear

  The oars and gas tank rattled as I climbed out of the boat

  I heard a rush in the undergrowth

  I paused then I pushed forward through the grass and mud

  Soil from the drainage ditches fanned out over the shoreline

  covered by a mat of old palm fronds and pine needles

  I looked back and saw the outline of my boat

  I stepped toward the house and I heard a low moan

  glass broke under my shoes

  There was someone next to me

  Hello Hello

  My eyes searched and I leaned forward

  came face to face with a young boy

  What are you doing

  What are you doin

  Just curious

  Me too

  Someone here with you

  No he left when you got out of the boat

  Why did you stay

  I had to

  I reached down around my feet and felt a burlap bag

  Why

  I lost my shoe and I was afraid to run through the weeds

  Is this your bag

  No

  What are you doing with it

  I fell on it

  I felt a sticky liquid in the burlap mixed with sand and leaves

  You see those men before

  Yeah

  Where they from

  One lives in the house They hide these bottles in the river

  Yeah I saw them

  The bag fell apart in my hands and glass fell out onto the ground

  I searched cautiously with my fingers feeling bits of glass sand

  I picked up two bottles and asked

  How old are you

  Fourteen

  I held out one of the bottles in the direction of the voice

  and it was pulled out of my hand

  I stepped back and looked at the light from the house

  It doesn’t make sense to hang around here

  No

  See ya

  I turned for my boat

  My feet squished in the mud as I stepped through the shallow water

  I heard the boy

  See ya

  (dreams of his mother)

  The boy died alone in the dark

  under palm trees next to the river

  I remembered him

  the blood in the bottom of my boat

  blood on the burlap bag

  He was fourteen

  the same age I got drunk for the first time

  I marveled at the ridiculous things

  that young boys do

  I knew the fear and desire that he felt

  afraid to go home

  wanting to know that feeling of oblivion

  wanting to know it

  and do it with your best friend

  harassed by parents

  sent home

  the feeling of having those drinks alone

  He could not have known he was bleeding to death

  I imagined him sleepy and tired

  eyes closed

  And I wondered what the dreams of his mother were that night

  sleeping on land owned by Alan

  land like a spider web that stretched

  from Mims to Titusville

  to Merritt Island and underneath the web

  the Indian River waited to catch everyone that fell

  omnipresent silent

  Damp morning air carried the sulfurous odor of drying seaweed

  I looked up at the sky

  my eyes followed a path that hovered over the river

  I stood on the timbers and rock that made the sea wall

  and looked at the water

  like the bow of a ship gliding over the silence

  Blood flowed in the river like the wake of a small boat

  visible for a short time

  then disappeared in the ripple of water and sunlight

  (cut feet)

  I looked at the bottom of my boat in the sunlight

  tried to figure out the night before

  The wood was wet

  red steaks in the corners mixed with mud

  The burlap bag I carried through the water was wet and sticky

  smelled like fish blood mixed with salty river water

  Henry found the boy down by the river in the weeds

  about ten steps from where he hid bottles in the shallow water

  I wondered if Julia saw the boy

  But you don’t often find something

  unless you look for it in the first place

  Henry said the boy’s feet were cut by broken glass

  Blood was on the ground and trailed down

  into the water where it fanned out and disappeared

  The boy was in pajamas curled up on the ground

  His legs were thin and white

  almost pale blue

  his belly swelled up

  and I realized

  I was the last person to talk to him

  (a dead bird dream)

  I stood in a flat boat

  Henry waded through the water next to me

  near the boy’s blue body

  He picked up bottles from the green river bottom

  carried a burlap bag through the palms

  His feet crushed the dry brown leaves

  I drifted behind him

  passed through the trees

  Bottles fell out of the bottom of the bag

  broke on the ground

  corks popped out

  and blood seeped through the salt grass and weeds toward the river

  a sticky red tar formed along the shore

  The light from the house burned through the palms

  like a match burning through paper

  and swallowed Henry

  The boy lay on the ground

  like a dead bird

  (something real)

  In the dark

  I stood next to Julia at the corner of the house

  Alan drove down the dirt road
br />   Henry met him in the yard

  They walked back to the front porch and talked

  Alan asked

  You know about that boy

  Henry’s Yes sir was firm

  Alan told him

  He died on my land and I don’t like it

  and I’d like to know where those broken bottles come from

  Henry spoke

  Those were my bottles

  They were silent

  Alan asked

  You want to keep your job get rid of those bottles

  Henry was silent

  I could picture him looking down at his hands

  Alan walked back and forth

  I don’t need people down here asking about a dead boy

  making something out of an accident

  You know how people look at me

  He stopped

  Henry said

  I don’t talk to anyone down here

  An accident yes sir

  Sarah walked out the front door

  What are you doing here Mr. Simmons

  Just talking with Henry Just talking

  I heard the door hinges grind

  and Sarah asked

  Are you troubled Mr. Simmons

  No Sarah No just thought you and Henry might wonder about things

  Sarah let the door close behind her

  No sir the sheriff let us know

  I heard the heel of Alan’s shoe on the concrete step

  the car door closed

  Julia pulled at my arm

  We walked to the back yard

  I thought about you this morning I had a dream about Henry

  And

  And I just felt like coming out here

  Then Alan shows up He looking for you

  Always you know

  I don’t want to know anymore

  (a place in the world)

  I felt sorry for Henry in the police car

  small in the back seat

  Black and white on the door

  the black of his skin and the white of his eyes

  He seemed to be looking for something through the window

  like he needed to find everyone who now inhabited his world

  Julia said she thought of Henry like her father

  though I wonder if he had said ten words to her

  Maybe he is afraid of Julia

  Sarah says he is a gentle man and he works hard

  Boys that went around the house were afraid of him

  He seems to know how a young man can act stupid

  They just knew they had to be honest

  I knew Henry would tell the police about the broken bottles

  and I knew he would be arrested

  I stood with Alan next to the policeman

  who wondered why Henry was so worried

  when it was clear the boy died by accident

  He knew the boy

  saw him walking in the groves

  playing with his friends

  He and the other boy were always busy

  always had something on their mind

  like they were looking for a place in the world

  (inside out)

  Everyone expressed an opinion about Alan

  Aggressive

  Arrogant

  Cool

  Brisk short conversations

  Just as no one could avoid talking about him

  he could not resist inserting himself into every debate

  The rumors would cross town ahead of him

  He arrived suddenly

  with power

  His tan face blonde hair marked him with confidence

  the white shirt green pants