Silence

brown polished shoes announced him

  In the summer rolled up sleeves just below the elbow

  Large hands

  dressed for work

  even when he took out the sailboat

  Fishing poles nets coolers ice

  The motor and sails carried him north

  then he drifted down river

  He liked to stand in the boat facing west

  to look at the groves

  the palms the mudflats

  the land he owned

  He moved from task to task

  conversation to silence

  his eyes straight ahead

  I saw him try to catch dragonflies with his bare hands

  Singleminded

  His facts were something he told himself about himself

  and whatever he told himself about others

  I followed the same water trail in my flatboat

  I watched the gentle wake spread

  out from the rail

  brown green organic water

  I imagined the green ledger with red lines

  with separate accounts

  the curious transactions

  to be placed on his grand ledger

  I imagined Donna

  she moved

  from file drawer to file

  to desk to vault

  back to the center of Alan

  where he created the mysterious calculation

  that left him aware of everything

  In the boat my eyes dropped down to the water

  I wanted to cover myself

  The red line of the ledger

  like a thread of blood

  The curious part of me

  forced to retreat

  (a dry soft wind)

  I sat on the bench outside his office and waited

  to be invited into the mysteries of the closed vault

  Donna was there

  She complained to him that everyone knows I work for you

  He said sometimes the obvious conceals the things I most want to hide

  I was the object he did not choose

  perhaps a concession to his desire

  the unintended consequence

  The security guard turned the key in the lock to the glass front door

  Outside the transparent barrier two men stood

  and cupped their hands around their eyes

  to search the inside the bank

  their muffled voices puffed a humid mist onto the glass

  I watched the quiet movements

  a silent drama

  I nestled in the furniture

  an insect with a mottled coat

  blended into the wood and fabric

  I slid down to the spotted marble floor

  unnoticed by the dust

  a dry soft wind

  (curious progression)

  Michael and Eddie looked over the hood of their car

  in the direction of Donna’s feminine presence

  She walked between them

  the hem of her dress pulled tight around her knees

  her movement swiveled compact

  I know she knew I watched her

  She gave information to Alan

  so I kept a distance

  From my flatboat in the marina

  I looked at the blue and white Buick

  Michael and Eddie carried a case of beer

  Eddie raised a bottle in the air to wave

  when I waved back they walked out

  Donna trailed behind

  She rolled her tongue over the top of the bottle

  took a swallow

  threw it down hard

  inside an empty metal drum

  Eddie wanted to know what my deal was with Alan

  I didn’t answer

  Then he asked about Henry

  Why would a black negro like him make liquor

  in the middle of the Simmons groves

  Then he said something about a pretty little black girl that lived with her momma

  I ignored him

  He turned just in time to see Donna’s expression change

  She waited to pounce

  but he turned and walked away

  Michael smiled

  content to let them fight

  He wanted to know how the Simmons system works

  I ignored the false familiarity

  then the question that sits under the surface

  How did you get what you have

  (damn polite)

  Eddie pushed me into the back seat

  and I stared straight ahead

  Eddie asked Where are we going

  Someone said For a little ride

  Donna sat next to him with her legs crossed

  smoked a cigarette

  She wore a dark blue skirt

  The sleeveless white top had a v-neck

  Her sandals were black without a back strap

  I listened from the back seat

  You look tense Want a cigarette

  No

  We rode north on US 1

  My feet were hot from the floorboard

  The tires made a dull thumping sound on the road

  I looked at Eddie his hand extended out flat on his knee

  North of Titusville we turned east

  down a wide dirt road

  Orange trees slid by in the dark humid heaviness

  Fragrance seeped into the car

  Donna put out her cigarette and asked Eddie

  Can we open the windows

  Yeah

  The air filled the car with the smell of rotten oranges

  Everyone was so damn polite

  I could hardly take the silence

  Eddie slowed the car and leaned forward

  looked into the dark

  Ragweed and fennel as tall as the car

  grew out to the edge of the road

  (being social)

  Eddie flashed on the high beam

  Henry stepped out from the weeds

  we could see his dirty khaki pants and white t-shirt

  black shoes with the backs pushed down to slide them on

  He pointed to his left

  and we turned down a narrow road with deep sandy ruts

  Halfway into the turn Eddie stopped the car

  and Henry slid in next to me

  He smelled strong and salty

  Earthy I thought and laughed to myself

  Henry he said and nodded to me

  Brian I said and he turned to look at me

  Donna was silent and searching her purse

  Grass and weeds brushed against the floorboards of the car

  A white glow from two windows in a wood frame house

  filtered through the orange trees

  The front porch had two large columns

  the front door was open

  Eddie drove into an open area of grass and dirt

  Henry leaned against the door to keep from touching me

  He shifted and spoke

  Stop anywhere I’ll go inside

  He left the car door open

  walked up the stairs to the porch

  and turned his shoulders as he went through the front door

  We were silent and watched

  Heat rose from the ground

  the smell of the exhaust came into the car

  Donna looked at me while she smoked her cigarette

  You know these people

  I’ve known Henry since I was a small boy

  Donna looked at her fingernails

  He don’t seem to know you

  It’s been awhile I wasn’t being social

  You think he recognizes you now

  No

  You told him your name

  Eddie told Donna to leave me alone

  Yeah I guess so

  I looked at Eddie who thought it was funny

  (something sour)

  Eddie asked me to go
up to the house

  Inside the front door

  A bulb dangled at the end of a wire and lighted the room to the right

  Six red candles sat on the window sill

  The orange flames moved when we entered the room

  Sarah sat on a chair surrounded by glass bottles

  and two burlap bags filled with round cork

  Julia sat near the window

  Three galvanized tubs were full of brown liquid

  Julia scooped up the liquid with an aluminum coffee pot

  and poured it into a funnel at the top of a bottle

  When it was half full she moved

  to a new bottle and scooped and poured

  Sarah followed her with another funnel and

  filled the bottles to the shoulder with alcohol

  Our presence did not interrupt the production

  We waited

  Henry came from behind us in the hall

  They want ten bottles

  Sarah looked at Julia and then at Henry she said soft and quiet

  You don’t know these men

  Julia pointed at me

  That’s Brian Alan’s son

  I looked at Eddie and he just stood there looking at Julia

  Sarah spoke

  And that’s ok You think just cause you know them they can’t hurt you

  Henry stiffened and answered

  No

  Henry’s eyes looked around the room

  first at Sarah then his eyes settled on Julia

  He wanted the money

  Henry stood silent

  heavy and hard

  without feeling

  He turned to Sarah

  We’ll deal with any problems later

  I looked at the black soot on the bottom of the tubs

  The scent of the candles mixed with something sour

  (bottom of the trunk)

  Sarah set out ten bottles

  corked and waxed

  Donna called from the front porch

  Hello Where the hell are you

  Henry stepped back into the hallway

  Wait there

  Donna coughed

  Don’t worry I’m not coming in

  Eddie turned to me

  Jesus, this place smells

  Hey I have something

  Bring some bottles and leave out the cork

  Henry looked at me and stood up when he saw

  the clear plastic bag of white powder

  Eddie dropped to his knees and tore away

  a corner of the bag

  white powder trickled into each bottle

  a light dust settled on the floor

  Henry helped him cork the bottles

  put them in a wooden box made for oranges

  and placed it in the trunk

  I got in the back seat

  Henry leaned in

  looked at Donna

  then our eyes met

  He pushed the door shut as he stepped away

  (stretching skin)

  I got out and jerked my arm away from Donna

  she struggled to hang on

  Eddie and Michael threw open the front doors and jumped out of the car

  I saw the lights of the car lot through the weeds

  Henry was stooped over and hid next to the canal beyond the cattails

  His large eyes white with black dots

  Why are you there I thought

  Donna grabbed my belt

  I dragged her behind the car

  Her legs were covered with sand and dust

  she lost her shoes

  She grunted and cried in short gasps

  Eddie and