Lindsey's Choice

  “Pretty much,” Chloe replied hopping over some guy passed out on the floor.

  “There probably isn’t anyone in the basement if you guys want to crash there. you’ll find sleeping bags and foamies down there as well,” said Chloe.

  “Everything looks blurry to me. I wonder if I need glasses,” said Brittany as we exited downstairs.

  “I know, I’m still totally sweating but I’m freezing at the same time.”

  “This part sucks.”

  “Do you mean it’s normal?” I asked.

  “Every time you do it. Don’t you think it’s worth it though?” Brittany asked.

  “I guess.”

  We slept until about two in the afternoon. I would have slept all day had it not been all the heavy walkers upstairs. I guess all the old partiers are awake. Brittany and I gathered our things and headed upstairs. Chloe was awake sitting on the couch curled up in a blanket like a little kid.

  “Are you still pretty hung-over?” I sat down next to her. She didn’t respond. She just kept her eyes fixed on the ground.

  “Come on girlfriend, where’s our breakfast?” Brittany joked.

  Chloe slowly turned her face our way. She was as white as a ghost. She seemed like she was in shock or something.

  “Are you okay?” I asked.

  “Don’t worry, today will be the worst, just sleep it off, take a couple of Aspirins and don’t forget to drink plenty of water…” Brittany went on and on but I knew something was wrong.

  “You guys should go,” Chloe whispered, not moving from her frozen gaze.

  “I’ll call you later,” I said. No response from Chloe. I knew she meant what she said.

  CHAPTER 23A

  Huh?

  I definitely did not expect what happened when I walked in the door.

  “Hi Lindsey! I’ve been dying to find out how the game went last night? Did you win? I can’t stand the suspense.”

  It seemed as though mom was standing right at the door when I walked in. Now this is confusing. I was prepared to be in supreme trouble. I thought Jessica said they came to the game.

  Maybe Jessica was lying to me just to ruin my night. It’s pretty obvious that we’re not friends anymore. We were fighting at the time. But maybe my mother is putting me to the test right now. This is a tough one but I do need to respond quickly.

  “Well?”

  “I… uh… well, we… hum…”

  If I confess right now maybe she’ll lighten my punishment. But if she really doesn’t know the truth what harm is it if I told her we won. I mean, they did win, that’s no lie.

  “The Queens are city champions!” I exclaimed.

  “That’s great! Richard, did you hear that? They won!”

  Dad walked into the front foyer looking up from his reading glasses and carrying a newspaper. He didn’t seem as excited as mom. I’m still a little worried; I don’t think I’m off the hook yet. My dad has never been a great actor but then he never seems to get excited about anything anyways. I wish I could just snap my fingers like a genie and go back into my bottle.

  “I need to go shower! Talk to you later.”

  “Wait a minute,” instructed dad.

  Oh great.

  “How did you play?” he asked.

  This is it, no getting off this one. What to say, what to say, what to say.

  “I… huh… they… I mean we, well… the Queens played very well. First string hit the ball hard and the other team’s defense had no time to react.

  “Who did you play against anyways?”

  Oh man I should know this. When I was kicked off the team, we were tied in the standings with Fairbrook but Chaparral was close to second.

  “Fairbrook,” I guessed. I’m about to sink or swim.

  “No, it was the Chaparral Sharks. You won the first two games without any problem. The Sharks won the 3rd game by 7 points. They creamed you the fourth game by 19. You managed to win the fifth and final game by two points. It was very exciting to watch. Jessica got the winning point. You’re correct when you said the Queens played very well.” With that, I watched my father turn his back to me and walk back to the den. My blood turned ice cold as it traveled through my veins.

  “We spoke to Miss Van Weldan after the game; she was very surprised that you hadn’t told us you were let go from the team. I’m not sure why you didn’t feel a need or desire to let us know,” mom said sternly.

  “I know, I was just so upset and I…”

  “I’m not interested anymore. We are at our wits end with you. We’re not sure where to go from here. I’m not interested in where you have been spending your time when we thought you were playing volleyball, even though Jessica and Joey were able to fill in some of our blanks. I could only assume you were out with Chloe last night. It’s a shame you and Joey broke up, it’s none of our business though. I’m sure you both had your reasons.”

  I could only hang my head.

  “We have removed all your phone privileges which is something we should have done awhile ago. you will be confined to your room until we decide how long. As for your failing grades, your only activity for the next few months will be homework!”

  “How do you know about my grades?”

  “I was contacted by two of your teachers last week who were wondering if there were some problems at home. They both said you were a very bright student in the fall but your marks have been declining. They also said you haven’t been showing up for classes as much. What’s going on with you, are you doing drugs?”

  “No, how could you accuse me of such a thing?”

  “I know Chloe is and you guys have been hanging around a different crowd lately. Jessica said it was a group that likes to drink alcohol and do drugs.”

  “Jessica doesn’t know anything, she’s not even my friend anymore so don’t bother believing what she tells you!”

  “I think she’s a smart girl Lindsey.”

  “So you are saying I’m stupid?”

  “I never said that, I’m just worried about the choices you are making.”

  “Don’t worry about the choices I make! I’m a big girl now mom, I can handle myself just fine!”

  “Can you Lindsey? All grown up at 16 hey! you just know it all don’t you! Do you want what happened to Chloe to happen to you?”

  “What… get pregnant?”

  “Maybe.”

  “We promised Chloe that we would never ever talk about that again! That was two summers ago, why do you still bring it up!”

  “I just want you to remember what a difficult time that was for her. Giving her baby up for adoption was not easy.”

  “Oh of course I remember! She’s my best friend but I’m not having sex! I wish you’d believe me once and for all!”

  “Gee Lindsey; you haven’t had much of a clean record for telling the truth lately!”

  “Quit yelling!” Aimee flew herself in the room. “I wish you didn’t even live here Lindsey! All you do is fight with mom and dad and make them mad all the time!”

  “Well, I can make your wish come true! I’m out of here!”

  “Lindsey Marie if you leave this house you are not permitted back again!” Mom shouted.

  “Good!” I slammed the front door so hard that I heard something break. I stormed back to Chloe’s.

  I rang the doorbell but nobody answered.

  I couldn’t hear anything on the inside. I peered through the front window and could see Chloe still sitting in the same spot on the couch with her blanket wrapped around her. “The door was open so I let myself in,” I said.

  She just sat and stared at the television. I went into the kitchen and helped myself to a glass of water. There didn’t appear to be anyone else home.

  “Is Brittany still here?” I asked.

  Still no reply.

  “I got kicked out.”

  “Out of your house?” She finally spoke.

  “Yup.”

  “I never thought I’d see the day.” She
finally turned and looked at me. “You have a great family Lindsey, you should be very grateful!”

  “Why are you yelling at me? I’ve had enough yelling for one day thank you!”

  “You are so lucky to have the family you have, I would give anything to have parents like yours! I’d take even one good parent!”

  “Do you want to tell me what happened last night?”

  “Doesn’t matter. Let’s go somewhere. I hate it here.”

  She grabbed her coat and we were out the door.

  “My mom is still passed out in her bedroom; she doesn’t even know I came home last night. I definitely will not be missed.”

  We walked and talked about how our lives sucked. We couldn’t have felt sorrier for one another. We were a good team that way.

  We talked about how when one of us got our driver’s license, we would drive around the world and work only long enough to get enough money to keep traveling. We started talking about our childhood and how we used to dream about being princesses and living in a castle together. Our princes would wait on us hand and foot. We would have our hair done in the morning and our nails painted in the afternoon. We would wear a different dress for every meal.

  It was sure fun to dream. You can make anything happen in your dreams…

  CHAPTER 24A

  Dreams Do Come True

  We ended up at Ryan’s. He’s the only one we knew who had his own place and who wouldn’t care what we did. He was smoking a joint and watching a movie in the dark when we arrived. We joined in.

  “Last night was pretty cool hey?”

  “Yeah, I still don’t know what the name of that pill was,” I said.

  “Ecstasy. We need to get some more,” he said as he took a long drag off his joint.

  “Can your Uncle what’s his name get some?”

  “No, and he’s not my uncle!”

  Ryan and I looked at each other confused.

  “Easy… I’ll phone Justin.”

  I got pretty high that afternoon. I needed it. We also had a few beers. Justin, Brittany, Kaitlyn, Nikki and a few other guys came over and drank with us. We smoked pot and drank, drank and smoked more pot.

  I slept the entire next day on the couch with Chloe. I threw up all night after finishing off a full plate of nachos and two big bags of chips. Smoking pot sure gives you the munchies. I didn’t go to school Monday or Tuesday. Wednesday morning I finally went in but I was so hungover from the night before that I left early. I’m flunking my classes anyways, what’s the point?

  I’ve called home three times in the last month to let them know I’m okay. I miss home but I would never admit it.

  At Ryan’s we drink a lot and hang out. We’ve gone to every rave party in the last few weeks. I’ve been seeing a guy named Brian. He’s 24 and works at one of the bars. He’s been supplying us with Ecstasy for our weekend highs. He’s a real party guy. That’s all I need right now. I’ve lost weight. I’ve wanted to lose weight for so long and now that I have, it’s kind of scary. I stared at myself in the mirror one afternoon after getting out of ryan’s shower. I looked gross. My body has lost practically all its muscle tone that I was once so proud of. My face has wrinkles and I have bags under my eyes. I look like I’ve suddenly aged ten years. My teeth and nails are starting to turn yellow. Ever since we’ve been really getting into this Ecstasy thing, I can’t quit. I feel nauseated during the days and I shake all the time, I even fainted at the mall one night. I thought it was because I don’t eat much anymore but it seems to be a constant.

  “Is it Friday yet?” asked Chloe as she was stirring her macaroni and cheese. It has been our staple meal for the last month.

  “Thursday. Brian is coming over tonight with a full bag.”

  “We should just go nuts tonight, I need it, I’ve felt gross all week.”

  We did. We went nuts. A lot of people and a lot of dope and pills…

  “Huh?”

  “I just need to check your vital signs.”

  I slowly opened my eyes to see a woman dressed in white. She was wrapping something around my arm and made it really tight. She then stuck something into my ear.

  “What? Where am I?”

  “Canon General Hospital.”

  “Hospital?”

  “You were brought in by ambulance late last night; you had an overdose.”

  “Huh?” I was having a difficult time computing anything.

  “Your mom and dad just went for something to eat. They’ve been here all morning.”

  I noticed there was a needle stuck in my hand hooked onto a long tube. I guess it’s an IV. I feel horrible and very very tired. I turned over slowly. I feel as though I have died. I should have died.

  I could barely make out the figure that was walking through the door. It was headed straight for me. It had almost a glow around it. I was absorbing a comforting feeling. For some reason I felt safe, a feeling I hadn’t sensed in some time.

  “Lindsey, I love you, I always have and I always will,” said Joey.

  “Joey?”

  “Yes it’s me. I’ve missed you so much. Please be my girlfriend again Lindsey. We need to be together and stay that way forever.” His hand felt warm and loving as he touched mine.

  “Yes Joey! Let’s get back together, I love you so much,” I cried…

  “Lindsey?”

  “Yes Joey, we must be together!”

  “Lindsey, are you awake?”

  “Huh?”

  “I just saw your mom and dad in the cafeteria; they’ve asked me to come see you.”

  “Weren’t we just talking about getting back together?”

  “What?”

  I must have been dreaming. I’m so embarrassed.

  “Nothing.” Reality hurts so much.

  “You’re in here because of an overdose on drugs?”

  “So I’ve been told,” I said snidely.

  “You’ve really changed.”

  “Look Mr. Perfect, I don’t need you coming in here and lecturing me.”

  “I’m not lecturing you; I think you’re beyond that.”

  “Whatever. Why did you come here anyways?”

  “Your parents are worried about you and they asked me to come and talk with you.”

  “I don’t want your pity Joey. Look, I have a wonderful boyfriend who really cares about me.”

  “Where is he now?”

  I said nothing. I have no idea where he is.

  “Look Lindsey, you can hide the tough girl act. I know who you are; you are the girl that I fell in love with three years ago at a volleyball camp. My dreams came true when I found her again last summer. She was everything I ever wanted in a girlfriend: smart, funny, athletic, fun to be with, caring and loving toward her family.”

  “Whoever you’re talking about, sounds like a geek.”

  “Well she was a princess to me.”

  I turned my head to face the window; I didn’t want him to see the tears start to flood my eyes.

  “Just go,” I couldn’t handle him being near me any longer.

  “You’ve taken quite a different journey with your life right now. I don’t know if I would agree with the choices you have made, but it’s done now and I think you can only learn from them.

  “I told you to go!” I turned and glared at him, suddenly revealing how upset I had become.

  He stood up from the chair and just looked at me. He looked so strong and healthy. I would give anything for him to just tap his chest and tell me he loved me. Instead he turned around, and walked to the door. He paused and turned my way before reaching for the handle.

  “You’ll make it Lindsey,” he smiled. “You’ll make it.”

  Epilogue A

  Looking back I now realize how some of the choices I made at such a vulnerable time in my life had dramatically changed my future.

  I am 28 years old and trying to get ready for my 10-year Canon High School reunion. I still haven’t decided if I’m going. What do I tell people? I k
ept rehearsing in the mirror, “…so after my third drug overdose, I figured enough was enough, and I admitted myself into rehab…”

  The summer after three months of rehab was busy. Chloe and I ended up renting a basement suite together. To pay the bills we both had to work more than we wanted. I worked at a fast food restaurant while Chloe worked at a bar her mom’s boyfriend owned. He hired her even though she was underage. I think it was just because she was so pretty she could bring in more business.

  I ended up taking summer school in order to graduate. So much for beach volleyball or beach anything. Our most favorite hang-out in the summertime and we never went down to the pier once that summer.

  I did eventually get my high school diploma after two years of summer school, but I didn’t attend any graduation ceremonies.

  Chloe never even graduated. She met some guy at the bar she worked at and got married when she was 19. She got pregnant right away, I think that’s why they got married but I never asked. She divorced four years later. Her mom got re-married and moved to the coast. Chloe joined her after her divorce. Last I heard they were all living together.

  I moved back home after Chloe got married. Aimee was just starting college. We don’t get along. I think she doesn’t like me for all the trouble I put mom and dad through.

  I held odd jobs around the city but hadn’t really decided what I wanted to do. I moved out again when I was 23. I moved in with my boyfriend at the time but that didn’t last. He drank and smoked pot too much. I was getting really sick of that scene. I found a good roommate named Barb. She and I worked at a restaurant together and we’ve been roommates ever since.

  I have recently been accepted into our local community college. I’m just starting a general program; I hope to get into teaching, maybe one day I’ll coach volleyball. I’m one of the oldest students in my program. It seems like everyone else is right out of high school. Oh well, I guess you could say I made it. It took a lot longer and quite a different route but I think I made it.

  I’ll never forget his words… my first love… he told me I’d make it…

  Storyline B

  CHAPTER 8B

  Home Time

  “No thanks.” I handed the glass back to Chloe.

  “Lindsey, come on you’ll like it.” She looked at me with such a glare that I thought her face could actually stay as contorted as it had become.

  “I’m going.”

  “What’s your friend’s problem?” I overheard as I left the room.