Daughter of Light

  My lunch with the other women at Dolan’s Plumbing Supply was as I had anticipated. They were friendly but mostly full of curiosity, women Ava liked to call “pokey” because they poked their noses into everything.

  One woman, Helen Carter, voiced what they were all thinking, maybe after talking about me with Michele. “I was very surprised Mr. Dolan would hire someone as young as you for the position. I don’t know any businessman as serious as he is when it comes to running a company. He puts a great value on experience. You must have done or said something very impressive. What experience have you had as a personal secretary? Were you just recommended by Mr. Dolan’s aunt, Amelia Winston?”

  They all paused to hear my answer. “My father always said that quality is far more important than quantity.”

  They waited to see if I would add anything, but I just bit into my sandwich, and they started talking about something else. Inevitably, the conversation turned back to me, however. They wanted to know more about my personal life. Instinctively, I knew that they would be more inclined to be on my side if they felt sorry for me, especially if they knew the story I had concocted for Mrs. Winston and Mrs. McGruder, so I told it in an abbreviated form. Nevertheless, I had their rapt attention.

  “So, you’re really a young lady on your own,” Clara Weintraub said, and all their heads were nodding, or I should say bobbing, in agreement and sympathy.

  “I’m afraid so. I was lucky to find Mrs. Winston’s place, and one thing led to another, which is how I came to be here. Sometimes you can be just lucky. It’s not my usual history, as you can now understand, but when good fortune shines on you, you should turn your face right into it. My father used to . . . it was something he once said.”

  “Of course, dear. You just call on any of us if you need anything, anything at all, including advice,” Helen Carter said.

  “Men,” Clara Weintraub followed, practically spitting the word. “You take your time with that,” she warned, even waving her right forefinger at me. “Don’t let anyone, especially here, take advantage of you. Most of the young men here live from paycheck to paycheck and think saving for a rainy day simply means buying an umbrella.”

  Heads bobbed.

  “Oh, don’t worry about me,” I said, smiling at them. “For now, I’m wearing a No Trespassing sign around my neck.”

  That got them all laughing. They followed me out, chuckling and hugging me with warm welcomes. When I paused in the hallway, I saw that Liam had returned and was looking our way. Although he smiled, he shook his head with disappointment and went quickly into his office.

  Exactly at the end of my workday, Naomi Addison arrived, as she had promised. She looked dressed to go to a fancy restaurant and not for shopping in a mall. I could see that she had gone to her stylist and had her roots highlighted and her hair done in a new style that made her more attractive. It also looked as if she’d had her makeup done by a professional.

  Naomi was a full-figured woman who babied her complexion and, from what I understood, had a personal trainer. What she was wearing accentuated her attractive features. Her dark blue jacket was semifitted, lined, and below the hip in length. The shoulders were slightly extended, and it had long sleeves. Her matching skirt, also semifitted, was straight, lined, and below mid-knee. She wore a silver beaded necklace with matching earrings. In short, she was a perfectly put-together package.

  Ava would call her “dressed to hook.”

  “Am I early?” she asked.

  “No, I was just finishing up,” I said. “You look very nice, Naomi.”

  “Thank you.” Her eyes went to Mr. Dolan’s closed door. “Is he in? I’d like to say hello. We’ve known each other a long time.”

  “No,” I said. “He had a lunch meeting in Boston today and hasn’t yet returned.”

  “Oh,” she said, deflating like a punctured balloon mannequin of herself. She even seemed to turn a little pale with the disappointment. “What time did he say he would return?”

  “He didn’t say a time, but he didn’t think he would be back before the end of the day.”

  “Oh. Well, don’t rush. We have plenty of time,” she said. “I know Chet McKinney. He’s still in sales, right?”

  “Yes, I met him today,” I said. “Among others,” I muttered, too low for her to hear.

  “I’ll just go say hello.”

  “He might be gone. They close about now.”

  “I’ll check,” she insisted, and left.

  I knew she was just looking to kill time in the hope that Ken Dolan would return before we left. A moment later, one of the younger salesmen in the appliances section stopped in. He had introduced himself earlier, during the parade. I sensed that they had all taken bets on whom I would favor the most. His name was Bobby Potter, and I thought he was in his mid-twenties at most, because he still had that just-out-of-high-school look, sweet, still innocent and optimistic.

  “Hey, how was your second day?” he asked.

  “Very good, thanks.”

  “A few of us are getting together for happy hour at a place called Cappy’s, and I thought you might want to come along. It’s pretty laid-back, not fancy. It’s a great way to get to know everyone,” he added.

  “Thank you, but I’m technically not of drinking age.”

  “Oh, that’s no problem at Cappy’s. I’ll buy the drinks for the gang. No one cares.”

  “Thank you, but I have other plans tonight.”

  “Oh. Well,” he continued without skipping a beat, “we’re there just about every night. Great way to relax after work, let your hair down. What about tomorrow night?”

  “I’m really not ready to start socializing yet,” I said. “But thank you.”

  “Not ready? None of the girls does anything special for Cappy’s. You don’t have to put on airs with us. What do you have to do to get ready to start socializing?” he asked, now making my reply sound stupid.

  I gave him a hard, cold glare. Maybe it was the Ava in me, but I didn’t have the patience. “Brush my teeth,” I said.

  “Huh?”

  Naomi walked in, glanced at Bobby, and said, “You were right. They already left. Are you ready?”

  “Yes.” I rose, gathering my things.

  Bobby looked at Naomi, glanced at me, and then, blowing air through his lips, left in a huff.

  “What was that all about?”

  “Turning on faucets.”

  “What?”

  “This is a plumbing supply company, isn’t it?” I asked. “You have to speak the language.”

  She stared a moment and then laughed. Her attention returned to Ken Dolan’s door. “He hasn’t returned, has he?”

  “No. He did say he might be going to dinner with someone,” I added, even though he had said nothing of the kind.

  “Oh. Is he seeing someone socially?”

  “I really haven’t been here long enough to know his private business.”

  She twisted her mouth with displeasure. “Not long enough. It doesn’t take much time, especially these days. Gossip is probably the most exciting thing you’ll discover in a business like this, anyway. What else would you talk about, washers and bolts?”

  “To tell you the truth, Naomi, I’ve been too busy to talk about anything or listen to anything other than what I need in order to do my work for Mr. Dolan.”

  “I see you need some good female advice,” she said. “I don’t want you to make the mistakes I made.”

  I flashed a smile and came around the desk to leave.

  As we headed out, I felt the eyes of some of the young men still loitering around looking our way. Liam’s car was already gone. If Michael’s insinuation was right and I was hired to revive Liam’s interest in the family business, I could be terminated by the end of the week, I thought.

  Whatever.

  My life was taking turns for itself these days. I felt as if I was just along for the ride. I would go with the flow and not resist the tide, even if it washed me out to sea
and set me sailing in another direction.

  “I used to see Ken at some of the better restaurants, but most of the time, he was alone,” Naomi said as she drove. “When a man has been burned by a woman the way he was, he’s understandably gun-shy. That’s why I’m so curious about whom he might be seeing. Maybe it’s someone from Boston,” she added, looking to see if I had any information after all.

  “I don’t know. He said nothing about anyone but this attorney he was meeting.”

  She drove on, her frustration and disappointment reviving her own misery. I wanted to feel sorry for her, but I suspected that a woman as pushy as she seemed to be was probably more than half responsible for a failed relationship. I really knew so little about male-female relationships. What else did I have to go on but my time with Buddy? Daddy had had girlfriends from time to time, but there was no one who even superficially resembled a wife. I observed other people; I read books and saw movies and went to the theater, but in the end, or at least right now, I had to rely on my own instincts, even when it came to what clothing I would buy for myself.

  I didn’t think Naomi’s taste was going to be mine, especially when it came to my office wardrobe. I knew she was surprised at how conservative I was with my choices, but it was precisely the impression of my being older, wiser, and more responsible that was winning me the respect I wanted. As Daddy would say when he quoted the Bible, which he often did out of amusement as much as anything, “ ‘When I was a child, I spoke as a child. I understood as a child. I thought as a child. But when I became a man, I put away childish things.’ You must take heed of those words, my darlings,” he would say. “As soon as you feel it, put away childish things.”

  “I’m very up on what young women your age are wearing these days, Lorelei,” she insisted when I didn’t take to some of her suggestions.

  “For work, this is just fine,” I told her, looking at alternative skirts, blouses, and dresses.

  “Nothing should be ‘just fine.’ A woman never stops trying to be as attractive as she can, whether it’s at work or on a date,” she said. “I’m afraid you’ve been a little too cloistered to handle yourself in this competitive world. Every woman, especially every woman your age, is competing all the time.”

  “For what?” I asked.

  “For men’s attention. What else?”

  I laughed. “You should have been with me today. You’d see I don’t have that problem, Naomi.”

  “Well, don’t be too arrogant, Lorelei. I can tell you from experience that it’s not an attractive feature when it comes to holding a man’s interest. That’s why I think Ken Dolan would appreciate me more. I’m sure the women he’s seeing are snobs. I want you to tell me who they are when you find out. I’m sure there’s more than one.”

  I didn’t respond. I continued to shop for what I thought I needed. She trailed along, limply now and clearly with little interest.

  “If we’re going to eat at the Winston House, we’ll have to move along,” she said after a while. “I feel a little foolish dressed like this. The place is filling up with mall rats.”

  “Mall rats?”

  “Teenagers and preteens who think of it as a hangout. Don’t tell me you never did that.”

  “I never did,” I said.

  “What sort of a childhood did you have?” she asked, sounding even more annoyed.

  “Unusual,” I said. “I’m thinking of getting some new shoes, Naomi. Why don’t you head back? I’ll grab a taxi. If I’m going to be late or not going back for dinner, I’ll call Mrs. Winston,” I said. “No worries.”

  She looked at me suspiciously. “Are you sure you haven’t made some sort of secret date with one of those plumbers?”

  “First, they’re not all plumbers, and second, no.”

  Her eyes narrowed with all kinds of new suspicions. I could practically hear her thoughts. She was oblivious to the noise around us. “How did you get Ken Dolan to hire you so quickly? I’m sure he had many applicants for that job. I can’t believe he did it based solely on Mrs. Winston’s recommendation.”

  “She didn’t actually recommend me, Naomi. She arranged for my interview. It was really up to me.”

  “Well, how did you do it? What did you promise?”

  “Efficiency, dedication, and loyalty,” I said, emphasizing loyalty.

  “You’re a fool if you bought into any promises a man makes, even a man like Ken Dolan,” she said. She looked around and then turned back to me. “I just decided. I’m not returning to the Winston House for dinner with those boring people. I’m going to the Quincy Seaport Club. I still have a membership. If you were dressed properly, I’d bring you along.”

  “Thank you for bringing me here,” I said. “I know you did it out of pure kindness.”

  She pressed her lips together, pulled back her shoulders, and mumbled “See you later” before marching away, her high heels sounding like small hammers driving hateful nails into the mall’s tile floor.

  Maybe I was too hard on her, I thought as she rounded a corner and disappeared. My experiences with other women aside from Mrs. Fennel and my sisters was very limited. Other girls my age relied on those experiences, whereas I kept reminding myself that I had to rely solely on my instincts and my perceptions, which were sharper and keener and went deeper than those of ordinary young women but still left me at some disadvantage.

  And then I thought perhaps I was wrong about that. Truthfully, I had no disadvantages when it came to comparing myself with other girls. Perhaps in my determination to flee from who and what I was and was meant to be, I had blinded myself to a greater reality and ignored an insistent realization that I was more capable, stronger, and less vulnerable than any other girl my age or even older. I vowed to stop belittling myself. I was behaving no better than Liam, soaking in self-pity. Get over it, Lorelei. You’re on your own, I told myself.

  I did look for new shoes and also made sure to get myself a warm jacket so I could return Naomi’s to her. It was clear that I would be beholden to her for anything. I concentrated so much on what I was doing that I lost track of time and had to rush out to find a taxi. It was too late to cancel dinner at the Winston House. I thought I would just go right to the dining room after I put my packages in my room.

  But as it turned out, that wasn’t going to be as easy as I thought.

  9

  My arms were full of bags when I stepped out of the mall to look for a taxi. The sky was partly cloudy, but I could sense oncoming showers blowing in from the east. A chill hung in the air, but that made it sharp and clean. All lights were brighter, all sounds clearer. I felt a healthy surge of energy building in my body. It reminded me of how tight and firm I had been when I had been attacked by the fake lawyer in the back of the SUV. Like some primeval creature always depending on her instincts and that magical sixth sense, I felt something threatening nearby and slowly began to look around myself.

  There were three teenage boys on the corner to my right, smoking cigarettes and talking. They all paused to look my way. They didn’t know I could hear them despite the distance.

  “I wonder what she has in her bags,” one said.

  “If you have to wonder what she has in her bags, you need help,” another teased, and they all laughed. I could see they were just about to start in my direction.

  I looked for a taxi but saw none. For a moment, I debated going back into the mall. I didn’t want to have any physical confrontations on my second night there. Just before I turned to find some way to retreat, I heard my name called out and saw Jim Lamb hurrying down the sidewalk toward me.

  “Jim?”

  I looked back at the boys. They hesitated and just watched us.

  For a moment, I thought he was either unable or unwilling to explain his presence. The fact that he was actually standing in front of me seemed to overwhelm him.

  “I’m surprised to see you,” I said, hoping to help him along. He smiled.

  “Yes. I happened to be here and saw Naomi
leave by herself a while ago. Of course, I remembered you were supposed to be shopping with her. I looked for you inside but didn’t see you, so I thought you might not have come here with her after all. I was just getting into my car when I saw you come out. I imagine you want to return to the Winston House.”

  “Yes.”

  “Do you have a car picking you up?”

  “No. I was looking for a taxi.”

  “Look no more,” he said. “Here, let me help you with some of those bags. Did some shopping, I see.”

  “Yes.” I looked back at the boys. They headed for their corner, looking like cowardly coyotes searching for easier, unprotected prey. “Cutting it close for dinner, aren’t you?” I asked Jim.

  He nodded, embarrassed that he had looked so hard and long for me. “Don’t worry. We should still be there in enough time. Not much traffic in that direction. Why did Naomi leave you here?”

  “I think she was bored. She was going to some seaport club.”

  “Oh, right. The Quincy Seaport Club. Pretty high-end. This is my car,” he said when we reached the parking lot. He had a late-model Toyota Prius. “I’m green-conscious,” he added. Under the parking lot lights, I could see him blushing. “Not that I could afford anything much more luxurious anyway.”

  “This is fine.”

  He opened the back and began putting my bags in. “Did you get everything you wanted?”

  “Let’s just say that it’s a start.”

  “I bet.”

  “How fortuitous that you were here,” I said, recalling how Liam had reacted to my use of the word.

  “Well, to be honest, I was worried about you,” he said as we got into his car. He paused and looked straight down at the steering wheel. “I mean, I know how Naomi is, and I thought you might get frustrated with her. So I thought that if I happened by, I could sort of take her place, and you’d have the time you needed to shop. I stayed late at the school correcting papers. I like it when everyone’s gone. Anyway, I thought about the mall and you and . . . just stopped.”