The $30,000 Bequest, and Other Stories

  A LETTER TO THE SECRETARY OF THE TREASURY

  Riverdale-on-the-Hudson, OCTOBER 15, 1902.

  _The Hon. The Secretary Of The Treasury,_ WASHINGTON, D. C.:

  Sir,--Prices for the customary kinds of winter fuel having reachedan altitude which puts them out of the reach of literary persons instraitened circumstances, I desire to place with you the followingorder:

  Forty-five tons best old dry government bonds, suitable for furnace,gold 7 per cents., 1864, preferred.

  Twelve tons early greenbacks, range size, suitable for cooking.

  Eight barrels seasoned 25 and 50 cent postal currency, vintage of 1866,eligible for kindlings.

  Please deliver with all convenient despatch at my house in Riverdale atlowest rates for spot cash, and send bill to

  Your obliged servant,

  Mark Twain, Who will be very grateful, and will vote right.