The Orange & Blue Drive-In
April 1967
(an invitation like that)
A Friday afternoon
Orange sunset blue sky
Timmy stood in the middle of the lime rock road leading into the drive-in
Penney’s green GTO turned off Hawthorne Road
She approached him slowly the engine rumbled like a Harley
Her car had wide chrome wheels and thick black tires
Barely in her bikini Penney looked up at Timmy
over the top of her sunglasses The white skin of her breasts
was burned pink the straps of her top were folded down
Her left hand hung out the window
silver painted toes held the brake
The car would shake when the engine turned over
‘Timmy when you going to invite me to your apartment’
Timmy looked down at the ground
‘I don’t know’ He wanted to but his mind resisted
and his body seemed to have lost all feeling Why
He looked at her and was afraid
One rejection by her would be too much
her eyes were distant and she was hard to feel close to
Penney was too relaxed careless
and she seemed as loosely held together
as the straps of her bikini
Her words slurred but were measured
‘I told you I wanted to come over
Not every boy gets an invitation like that’
Timmy looked up and could see Morgan
looked out the window of his apartment
He felt himself slide deeper into his clothes
‘I reckon not’ He paused ‘I’ll let you know’
Morgan watched Penney’s hand graze the front of Timmy’s jeans
it tugged slightly on the zipper flap
He looked away when Timmy looked up
Penney knew Morgan watched
She wanted to provoke him
so he would not look again
She pulled hard enough on Timmy
he took a step to keep his balance
then she let go and drove away
It was so easy to get boys to do what she wanted
She would feel guilty until she said no
because then they would constantly stalk her with their eyes
follow her smile and devise games
to force her to talk with them
She looked down at her bikini bottom
gave Timmy an annoyed smile to consider
through the rear view mirror
and she vowed to show him
her way of living in the world
She parked the car and walked up the steps to the apartment
she thought how every boy every man had to prove himself
to a woman and how a woman once she understood this
she could control a man without him knowing
Penney made a private vow never to marry
she would be tempted to control too much
Timmy felt the eyes of the insects in the pine trees
and in the weeds as he walked to the concession stand
White dust from the road coated his boots
and he kept his head down
the late afternoon sun beat down
his neck and shoulders absorbed the raw heat
He looked at the front of his pants
thought about her hand blushed
felt the redness cover his skin
(crickets at night)
Gary and David watched as Rundi walked toward Timmy’s room
The argument over Clapton Hendrix and guitars
ended when they saw the guns
‘A man brought them for the auction’ Rundi handed them to Timmy
who was thinking of Melissa playing Johnny Rivers
on her record player when he mumbled the words
‘Hey Joe, where you gonna go with that gun in your hand’
Timmy sat on his bed holding the Smith & Wesson in his left hand
and the Luger in his right He sat the Luger down
took the S&W disengaged the tumbler and let the gun fall open
There were blanks in the six chambers and he let them fall out
on the bed then he spun the chamber with his left hand
watched the light shine through the chamber holes
Rundi sat in a chair and watched afraid of guns
tried to get a feel from Timmy about what to think
How comfortable was he with the guns in his hands
Did everyone here have guns
He remembered the constitution ‘the right to bear arms’
Timmy set the S&W down and picked up the Luger
The cover slid off the handle exposing the cartridge clip
and Timmy slid it up and down admired the smooth action
He had the gestures of a man that knows guns
He watched his father’s friends prepare to hunt
how they oiled the gunstocks of rifles and pistols with rags
the careful disassembly the slow assembly the metal
click sounds of triggers When the group worked together
it reminded him of crickets at night
‘Do you have blanks for the Luger’
Timmy sighted the gun with his arm extended
‘No’ Rundi looked back and forth front door gun
Gun front door He wanted to take them back
Timmy sighted Penney through the screen
of the front door she stood across the road
Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail
She wore a t-shirt and jeans white tennis shoes
She looked back and forth crossed the street
and walked down the barrel of the gun toward Timmy
He put the gun down ‘You have a customer’
Rundi relieved grabbed the S&W clicked the chamber into place
stuffed the blanks in his pocket but left one on the bed
Timmy handed the Luger to him and closed the door
Rundi walked to the front of the store
(Ozzie and Harriet)
Morgan paced back and forth
watched Penney cross the street from the window
Sam pulled his truck up to the antique store
arrived at the front porch and opened the door for Penney
She turned to the side and inspected some rocking chairs
Sam looked at Rundi holding the guns
‘Planning a bank robbery’
Rundi laughed nervously and put the guns
inside a glass case next to his desk
Penney listened but did not look
‘Seen my boy’ Sam stared at Rundi
‘He’s in the back’
Sam walked to the back room
Penney turned to watch him open Timmy’s door
Timmy stood and faced the door when it opened
and he saw Penney look at them
Gary and David didn’t look up
‘Just checking on you son’
Sam gazed at the bed the floor
‘Yes sir’ Timmy looked at the wrinkles on Sam’s neck
Freckled pink and peeled from sunburn
He thought ‘what a funny thing for Sam to say’
in their first meeting since he left home
Blue khaki pants and black industrial shoes
were a shock to look at against the white walls in the room
‘I got a new job at the Coke plant’
‘What’ Timmy coughed
‘Washing trucks Cleaning up They need help’ Sam coughed
‘Doing what’
‘Re-stocking concessions at the Gator games
I’ll let them know if you want the work’
‘No’
Timmy watched his father leave without saying goodbye
He noticed how hard his Dad tried
but he also noticed how he could not be still
Always in mo
tion he didn’t like to listen
as if he were afraid there would be some bad news
or trouble if he hung around too long
Morgan watched Sam come out the front door of Rundi’s store
and get in his truck Penney came out a few minutes later
He looked down at the two puppies sleeping in a box
with a blanket on the floor their bellies so bloated
they could hardly stand up Morgan called them the pups
Penney called them Ozzie and Harriet
(another refugee)
Melissa walked barefoot toward Hawthorne Road
In short jeans with ragged hems and blue halter-top
she looked for Timmy Her blonde hair tucked
behind her ear her face tilted forward conscious of being watched
wanting to be watched afraid to be watched
Her feet were quiet on the porch
She opened the screen door carefully
and turned to the side
trying to slide in without notice
Rundi was sitting in a chair behind the glass case
he held the two guns oil from the gun barrels covered his hands
Light flickered across the glass case and he got up to look at Melissa
his bushy eyebrows arched he smiled white teeth and funny accent
‘Hallo’ Rundi looked at her bare feet the chipped polish on her toenails
and bare white legs ‘Can I help you’
‘No’ She paused ‘I mean no I don’t need help in the store’
Melissa stopped again rocked forward on her toes
and looked back at the front door ‘Sorry Is Timmy here’
Rundi tilted his head to the side trying to see Melissa’s face ‘No’
She turned and left Rundi sat back down
in his wooden swivel chair thankful for visitors
even if they were all for Timmy
During the day he rarely sold anything
Night auctions brought in almost all his income
On some days he sat and listened to the conversations
that came from Timmy’s room and for the first time he glimpsed
into the life of a family a poor family less capable
and he thought himself a poor immigrant who landed
in a country of strong self-assured competent people
He knew this was not completely true but the reality
was harsh It mixed with his own fears his own attempts
to rest firmly in his own values
He never believed the color of his skin marked him
until he felt the subtle push out of one neighborhood
then another until he was on the east side of Gainesville
and he looked around found the people here
knew what he felt knew what he endured and if not for them
he would go to his wife’s arms at night feeling weak
without the strength to embrace her He looked
across the road at the drive-in and recognized Morgan
another refugee
(tilted in every direction)
Morgan could not get used to eating dinner and going to work
with everyone else heading home except Rundi
who worked the auctions at night He thought
maybe Rundi felt the same All morning
he fumbled around the drive-in picked up trash
swept re-wired speakers torn from their posts
Penney slept in prepared the bank deposit
In the afternoon Penney anxious thought of excuses
to go into town but even downtown Gainesville
lost appeal in the summer heat after students left town
Morgan paid to have sand bulldozed into mounds
around the back of the property Trucks came in
and dumped a mix of shell and lime rock around the speaker posts
After school Timmy and Morgan spread and packed the mix
Penney watched brought out drinks every two hours
and wondered when Timmy would speak When she walked up
Morgan walked off She offered Timmy a dollar if he would smile
but he just stared at her and kept working
Morgan disliked the dirt the cars tracked on his clean
sculptured landscape He liked the art deco tones
of yellow lime rock the orange fence and blue sky
During the day the drive-in was like
an island of Miami in east Gainesville
The first heavy rain left puddles and potholes
because they couldn’t pack the lime rock tight enough by hand
The neatly carved rows turned into a cratered landscape
cars pointed up at the screen tilted in every direction
Morgan thought it looked like a junkyard from the projection room
(the knots)
Morgan lay in his bed thought about Israel and Egypt
his sheet was twisted into a rope his thoughts were a knot
impossible to untangle Everything in his head now annoyed him
he was desperate for new thoughts Penney and work
Penney leaving Penney and Timmy Everything like dust
constantly reappearing
He got up and walked into the living room
Penney ignored him and stared at the TV images of burned-out tanks
on the Sinai desert Morgan felt his arms tremble
hoped the tremble did not alter his voice
‘Will you work the concession stand alone tomorrow’
She stared at the TV and asked
‘Why’ but did not listen for the answer
Morgan checked his arms held each one out
to see if they looked as bad as they felt
‘So I can go to the auction’
‘Rundi’s’
‘Yes’
‘Thursday can be a big night’
‘I know’
‘I have to shut the box office early’
‘I know’
The knots loosened
(pop of blue)
Penney sat on a barstool behind the concession stand counter
Ozzie and Harriet walked around wagged their tails
sniffed the soda syrup spilled on the floor licked the concrete
Moths fluttered in and out the open doors Overhead
she could hear Timmy change the film reels Car doors opened
and closed INTERMISSION in red letters burned on the screen
Candy popcorn drinks floated over the counter
She dreamed that night about counting change
When she wiped the counter she noticed
Ozzie and Harriet eating popcorn out of the dirt
Morgan would like that
Across Hawthorne Road Rundi auctioned the two guns
He wanted to sell them as a pair— historical relics
from the Wild West and the World War Morgan raised his hand
at the opening bid $20 for the pair
‘$22 $24 $28 $32 $38’ someone called out ‘Do they fire’
‘Yes’ said Rundi ‘$56’
Morgan raised his hand at $60 and the bids stopped
He wanted them for the next world war
Rundi set the guns aside and picked up the next item
Penney left the cash box in the ticket kiosk
instead of carrying it to the concession stand
Morgan walked to the ticket booth opened the door
and then he slid the key into a lock that held the drawer closed
by two or three wood fibers In frustration he yanked
and the drawer popped open took out six ten-dollar bills
and returned to the auction
Rundi handed him the guns and five blanks
Morgan asked ‘Any live shells’
Rundi shook his head no they were guns for collectors
Morgan put one gun
in each pocket
and walked to his drive-in apartment
He sat the guns on his bed thought the US would never be prepared
Vietnam was a big distraction from the problems in the Middle East
He read a letter to the editor of the Miami Herald
from a Jew in Miami Beach who complained
‘We’re not paying attention to the intentions of Syria and Egypt’
In the dark he popped open the Smith & Wesson
unclipped the Luger He dropped five blank shells into the S&W
closed it and spun the chamber let it stop and squeezed the trigger
It tripped easily as if he only had to think about firing
The pop of blue lit the room Gunpowder dusted the sheets
glowed for a moment Morgan’s arms started to tremble
as he put the guns in his dresser drawer
His hand ached from the recoil of the gun
his ears buzzed Gradually the sound of the night
returned crickets a frog one car the wheels bounded
along the edge of the road
‘Unconscious’ he said to himself scared to have guns
for the first time in his home scared to think
they would protect him if he could ever use them
He walked over to the window and on the screen
a small green tree frog wet with slime hung
by tiny webbed feet He bent over wondered
how it got so high off the ground
(he watched the shadows)
Timmy heard the pop of the gun thought it part of the film
‘Triple features in the summer are senseless’ he said speaking to no one
One car left twenty minutes into the last film On the screen
a horse looked out on the drive-in with one eye
Penney sat on the barstool Ozzie and Harriet slept
on the sticky concrete floor their fur a brown swirl of cotton candy
Timmy watched the screen noticed the outline of the concrete blocks
the chipped paint and he saw the lights blink off
Penney’s shoes scraped the steps as she climbed the stairs
to the projection room the screen door bounced shut
The last car—window open speaker dropped out
and dangled from the post—slowly drove away
Penney sat to the side of Timmy ‘Want to turn it off’
Timmy looked at her remembered Morgan’s rule
Always play the whole film The projector clicked
like the gears on a bike sound from the speakers
a background of whispers hisses gunshots
Timmy sat backward in his chair he leaned forward
his legs spread wide Penney sat down behind him
put her arms around his waist
her head in the middle of his back
Timmy stiffened ‘Penney’
‘Sit still’
He squirmed tried to stand up but she reached into his jeans
held all of him in a tight grip It was uncomfortable strange
He felt her fingernails press into him as he hardened
She reached under his shirt pulled him back into her
He stared up at her face as she pulled his shirt up
Penney’s hand pulled at him firm in rhythm
with the click of the projector and she leaned over
lightly bit at the skin on his shoulder
Timmy’s eyes did not blink as he watched the shadows
from the projector on the wood framed ceiling
His muscles tensed relaxed Penney let go
wiped her hand on his shirt
(the way it is)
Melissa saw and heard the gun shot
through Morgan’s apartment window
A blue light flashed on the orange wall of the drive-in
She turned to the left and saw Rundi cleaning his store
He left before the drive-in closed and she waited
for Timmy in the shadows
Timmy walked across Hawthorne Road
held his pay
thought of Penney tired but awake
He felt alone
but liked his independence sex and money
He thought of his father
‘Did he feel the same things’
He could only think of him as tired
He felt sad for his father
the way he came home from work
‘Would it ever be any better than this for him’
Did Sam ever think about leaving Gainesville
He looked down 23rd Street
the lone streetlight at the far end barely visible
the darkness surrounded the cone of light
It pulled at him and he walked
remembered what it was like to walk home
the quiet porches the black windows
the sound of his own footsteps
the stillness of everyone asleep
He thought about his mother and father
the open bedroom door when
he saw his father laying outside the covers in his shorts
the orange glow of a cigarette passed through a slow arc to his lips
He recalled the muffled sounds
the urgent strain of their secret sex
Tonight Timmy did not want to be seen
he paused as he reached the backyard
and tried to look
through the rusted window screens
Sand tugged at his feet and he sat down
on some concrete blocks to watch the house sleep
Melissa walked down the street behind Timmy
her bare feet silent She walked around him
to the backyard and stood
in the shadows of the swing set and the oak tree
He turned to look into her backyard
saw her standing there and he walked over
stood next to her looked down at her
She was too young
The gap between thirteen and fifteen so obvious to Timmy
When he lived at home he dreamed of sex with Melissa
in his bedroom with the door closed
but tonight he wanted her to go home
He was afraid of his thoughts afraid of Penney
afraid of Morgan’s weakness his father’s weakness
‘Where was he supposed to find the ways to be strong’
He wanted to feel the aloneness of his own space
He craved a sense of time ever since he heard
his history teacher use the phrase ‘in their time’
Melissa Penney it was all too hard
and too easy at the same time
He wanted to be alone
She waited for him to speak but he waited
If days passed he could wait
His grandmother once told him to wait
‘You have time’ How much time
So many people wanted answers from him
He told Melissa ‘Go home’
She looked up at him annoyed
she waited for hours to talk and now
had nothing to say nothing to ask
He would let time pass he would wait
what could happen if he waited
No one liked that he liked the idea
that no one liked it He would see
if he could slow down time Melissa knew
The red outline of her eyes filled with tears
He turned away to dismiss her
something he watched his father do to his mother
Just turn away it’ll go away But he doubted
Timmy looked at the dark windows of his father’s room
no one walked the floors unable to sleep
There was no thought about what to do
when to do He was impatient
without knowing what he wanted
He wanted something that he did not have br />
the ability to conceive His father
No He decided his father did not want anything
Was it his mother No She was content
accepted everything just as it was
He remembered his complaints about school
She sat at the kitchen table and without hesitation
‘That’s the way it is’ She braided Julie’s hair
played with her like she never left her own childhood
(if he would just look)
Melissa waited again the next night
Timmy crossed Hawthorne Road
opened the front door of the shop
His boots scuffed and bumped through the house
She looked through the windows
Timmy opened the door to his room and turned on the light
Melissa walked over to the windows She watched
Timmy bring out two brooms a bucket and a mop
He swept the floor with the coarse broom
the soft broom the mop dripped water
until a wet film covered the floor
Melissa waited Timmy looked small to her
She wanted him to see her to meet her in his backyard
under the trees next to Julie’s rusted blue swing set
where he looked bigger stronger he barely reached
the shoulder height of Rundi whose dark skin
and eyes made her feel uneasy and small
She looked down at her knees and legs
How did he feel when he looked at her
He turned off the lights Melissa tapped on the window
He looked at her and she called his name
He opened the window and stared at her ‘What’
‘Can I come in’
‘No’
‘Timmy don’t you want to hang out with me any more’
She wanted him to feel bad for ignoring her
The pout formed on her lips her knees buckled
She was sure Timmy would want her
If he would just look at her again
(where was God)
Butch Wax held Greg’s blonde hair stiff and straight
He looked in the mirror on Sunday morning
plucked some stray hairs from around his eyebrows
stood straight then hunched his shoulders
He tried to imagine wearing priestly robes
White shirt black tie pleased him more
A King James Bible sat on top of the toilet tank
He picked it up held it against his ribs
and left for church He would speak
about Sodom and Gomorrah
Marie was patient she waited confident for more than a year
for Morgan He did not come home and in fear
she joined a church a place where in Greg’s words
‘People stay joined together in the protection of a loving Savior’
Marie listened to Greg as he spoke
he raised his voice to quote God from the Bible
She did not understand Greg but he assured her
that her naïve innocence pleased God
was a benefit to her so she should give
her money to the benefit of God
Greg coached her to read the Bible aloud
to take in the resonance of the words
the glory of the sound of God’s word
found only in the King James version
Today she read from Genesis 19
And there came two angels to Sodom at even
Greg cleared his throat Marie started at the wrong place
And he pressed upon them greatly . . .
Where are the men which came in to thee this night?
bring them out unto us, that we may know them.
Marie forgot where to stop looked at the pages in her Bible
and decided to read to the end of the chapter
She did not read this section at home
stumbled over the words these men these angels and Lot
Behold now, I have two daughters which have not known man;
let me, I pray you, bring them out unto you,
and do ye to them as is good in your eyes
Marie paused
She coughed looked at Greg He stared back at her
Marie raced through the words
fearful of what was written
afraid to look at Greg
But his wife looked back from behind him,
and she became a pillar of salt.
Marie stopped and took a deep breath she slowed down
Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him . . .
Thus were both the daughters of Lot with child by their father.
Tears filled her eyes She looked at Greg again
His face was red she supposed because she read so poorly
Greg warned them about contradicting
the wisdom of God and the word of God
and it was the folly of men to try and understand
because the love and grace of God were delivered to everyone
There was a silence Marie waited
feared she read too far into the lesson
She looked around the table
A woman’s fifteen-year-old son John
faced away from the table rocked slightly
His hair was long greasy he wore black-rimmed glasses
His lips were dry chapped and the silence fed his rocking motion
His mother dressed him like a six-year-old
Food was on his shirt She had to remind him
to go to the bathroom She bragged about
his photographic memory but Marie
was afraid of his unpredictable behavior
John stuttered still faced the wall
‘Why did-did God-God destroy Sodom and G-Gomorrah’
His stutter made Marie uncomfortable
Why did his mother bring him to church
Why make us have to deal with him
John laughed His mother
was red-faced and stiff in her chair
John sat rocked spoke without stutter
‘Lot got drunk Sodom and Gomorrah got destroyed
Lot fornicated Where was God’
Greg blushed with anger
(the intensity of his faith)
Marie walked home from church
remembering Lot’s wife
afraid to look back at John and his mother
The pillar of salt
She wanted Morgan back
She felt confused because God spared Isaac
because God disintegrated Lot’s wife
because Jephthah made a foolish promise
and his daughter was burned as a sacrifice to God
Could Greg’s God save her marriage
Would this God save Penney
Greg sat in his car in the church parking lot
his cheeks burned with heat sweat
he watched the women leave the church
one at a time half of the women with husbands
that stayed home or played golf
Confused by his own feelings
and the intensity of his faith
he sometimes held their hands so tight
they pulled away from him during prayers