The Orange & Blue Drive-In
June 1967
(ready for World War III)
Monday the 12th
Morgan looked at the aftermath of the Six-Day War
and he took both guns out of his dresser
There was a light film of oil on the handles
Rundi’s instructions to prevent rust
He put one gun in each pocket
the blanks for each gun in each back pocket
walked slowly down the stairs Ozzie and Harriet
followed with tails wagging
He got in Penney’s green GTO
left the puppies out and drove to the Tackle Box
Penney watched from a window and shouted
for him to watch for the dogs as he sped away
He bought twelve boxes of shells that fit each gun
pulled the blanks out of his back pockets
left them on the counter and drove back to the drive-in
The car passed through the gate just missed the dogs
Penney stood at the bottom of the stairs yelled
cursed and looked in the dust cloud
for Ozzie and Harriet picked them up
and hurled herself after the car
A faint trail of dust lingered
behind the concession stand
She heard the door slam shut
she slowed to a walk
the hair of the dogs stuck
to the sweat on her arms
On the other side of the car
Morgan stood with one gun in each hand
pointed at dirt that had been pushed into a pile
and he fired right-left right-left
The shots made Penney flinch
from behind the car she shouted at Morgan
‘Hold it’ Right-left right-left right-left she yelled again
‘Hold it’ He dropped his arms She dropped the dogs
walked up behind him and shoved him
in the middle of his back
He lurched and turned to look at her
with red eyes ‘I’ll be ready for World War III if it comes’
(the echo)
Timmy heard the guns and the echo
from the back of the drive-in
Morgan re-loaded and put them in his pockets
Alone afraid as if hit by something too big
too powerful that disappeared
without the chance to fight back
Timmy believed his father was the same
Morgan fought it whatever it was
that made him sad most of the time
and he never seemed to smile
He knew Morgan knew what he could not handle
Timmy felt he would be different
So did David and Gary They were sure
they would all leave town and be different
Gary said he would leave at sixteen
when he could quit school
Timmy wasn’t sure
David knew his grandparents
would never let him quit school
Three or four years are a long time to think
He felt close to his friends loyal
but he wanted to go away
He wanted to ask more of Rundi and Morgan
said to himself his father was not worth asking
(how Morgan looked at her)
Ozzie and Harriet slept on a blanket in the corner of the kitchen
adjusted to the rhythm of the drive-in awake deep into the nights
deep sleep into the day Their hair was short tan
unlike the gray and black of their mother
Morgan walked around them in his socks
He lived through weeks of nursing them with formula from the vet
coaxed them to eat cleaned up pee the stench from the bleach
The carpet and rugs were gone casualties after one month
Penney had to buy used towels from Goodwill
Morgan started to hate the dogs they grabbed at his pants
he watched Penney clean up after them all day long
The war against Israel was over and Morgan was stunned
He was sure it was going to resume get worse
sure the US would have to rescue Israel
The charred gun barrels in the desert were black with carbon
Morgan dreamed once he cleaned up the mess with his socks
Morgan watched Timmy play with the pups
in the concession stand while Penney stacked the snacks
and drink cups under the counter
Timmy looked at Penney and Morgan
felt a rush of jealousy and indignation
Penney watched Morgan and Timmy
She could tell Morgan was bothered
but she could not tell if Timmy was aware
she suspected he was not
he was too young
She used her provocative thoughts of Timmy
to keep her distance from Morgan
This attitude kept her father away
he was not strong enough to confront her
He could not demand she listen to all his complaints
Timmy did not see Morgan
but Penney did not see how Morgan
looked at her when she looked at Timmy
(a fact of life)
The black gravel on the edge of 23rd Street disintegrated
Melissa walked on the road felt the heat
on the bottom of her feet The drive-in was closed
and she wandered up the street hoped to see Timmy
The quiet made her feel exposed
as if everyone inside the small wood-frame homes
looked out just to see her
Cars traveled like wind on Hawthorne Road
rubber tires hit potholes and sent shockwaves
that echoed across the entrance to the drive-in
a ghost of sand swirled and spread across the road
Melissa crossed over toward the back window of Rundi’s store
stood on the tips of her toes She looked in
and saw Penney compared her breasts to Penney’s
her waist her legs to the longer legs
Penney sat on Timmy ground down hard
with her pelvis her eyes closed
She stopped pulled back her hair
and then rocked again
She leaned forward her hands beside his head
looked at the wall the ceiling the light
bit her lip and looked at Timmy
She was not getting what she wanted
He pushed back knew something was not right
afraid to ask tried to hold on to the hips that pinned him down
Penney’s motion made Melissa seasick
she sat down and leaned against the house and cried
Penney’s thoughts weaved around her thighs
Timmy’s stomach and the stiffness inside
her openness grasped at him She saw
the erotic wonder in his eyes
She laughed at what she thought he thought
and sighed at the release of the tension that held them
Timmy looked away from the smile
embarrassed he knew the rocking would stop
dreaded her silent awkwardness after sex
Melissa walked home angry
she pictured cutting Penney’s hair
slapping her kicking her
and wishing for the strength to do it
Penney walked home swung her arms
then wrapped them around herself
looked up at the sky and longed
for a lunar tide of sleep and dreams
Timmy faced the toilet sprayed pee
on the tank and floor the flow burned
He forgot to sit after sex
This was a fact of life he never imagined
(reconciled)
Greg and Marie walked up the concrete steps
knocked on the door Morgan walked through the kitchen
br /> looked at the clock 11:00 am and opened the door
Greg stood there dressed in black and white
with a Bible in his hand pressed against his ribs
and Marie stood behind him
clutching her purse
Greg nodded his head and asked ‘Can we come in’
Morgan opened the door until Greg grabbed the handle
then he let go and walked back to his bedroom
where he called out ‘Come on in’
He opened the top drawer
took out both guns and put one in each of his pockets
‘A new threat’ he thought and sat down on the bed
He reached under the bed and pulled out his shoes
He did not want to sit across from a preacher in his stocking feet
Greg sat down on the edge of the couch
his elbows on his knees and holding the Bible with both hands
Beside him Marie sat all the way back on the cushions
so Greg’s full body hovered between her and Morgan
Greg started ‘Morgan I came here with Marie
because I believe you should be at home with your wife
the way God intends for married couples to live’
Morgan squinted but said nothing
The silence was filled by Greg ‘Marie needs you at home
Morgan where you belong’
Morgan sat and put one leg over the other
put his hands on the arms of his chair
like he was getting ready to stand up
but still said nothing The heaviness of the guns
pressed against his legs and he imagined
looking down the barrel of a gun at Greg
What was Greg doing in his apartment
He had no use for Greg or Greg’s ideas
on where he Morgan belonged He stood up
walked over to the window and looked outside
at the long white body of Greg’s Lincoln Continental
The chrome reflected light like a mirror
‘I see you have a new car’
Greg looked at Marie and back at Morgan
‘We’re not here to discuss my car We came with hope
that you would consider reconciliation with your wife’
Morgan spoke without looking at Greg
‘I am reconciled with my wife
I love her and have no argument with her
I choose not to live with her
She needs to be reconciled to that
If you are looking for reconciliation
then start working on my wife’s acceptance
of the fact I am not going to live with her
I place no restraints on her
and I do not bind her to anything
She as far as I am concerned has complete freedom
all the freedom that God gives her’
Greg’s head dropped down
he looked at the white dust on his shoes
and with his hand brushed some away
Morgan continued to look out the window
Marie got up and asked ‘Where’s Penney’
Morgan turned to her ‘I don’t know’
Marie looked around the room avoided Morgan’s eyes
‘Why don’t you know She is living here isn’t she’
Morgan laughed ‘Yes but she is a grown woman
I have no control over her’
Greg stood ‘Don’t you think it time you took control
It is the role of the husband and father
to direct the spiritual life of his family’
Morgan walked over to him and stood inches from his face
‘They’re both grown women They can do what they
are god damn pleased to do’
Greg leaned back ‘There is no need
to use God’s name in that manner’
Morgan walked back to the window
and looked down at the car as he spoke
‘Take your Bible your car Marie
and leave me alone half-pint’
(the game)
Thursday night
The white Florida sugar-sand around the drive-in
is covered with a rust brown net of pine needles that drop
all day every day The Turkey Oak leaves
cling to the branches The summer sun curls the leaves
that drop and wind rolls them up against fences and clumps of grass
The dry sand hill never looks clean white sand
black dust on your skin and under your fingernails
Melissa walked alone watched the movie from the trees
Her white legs shaded gray the sweat on her forehead
peppered with dust thin fragile
like a ten-year-old waif coming in from the dry trees
appeared at the counter
‘Can I have a soda’ she asked Penney stared at her
The money and soda exchanged
Melissa stared back at Penney
and took a long pull on the straw
‘I saw you fucking Timmy the other day’
She looked at Penney turned
and walked along the counter
dragged her hand picked up some dust
and cobwebs rolled them in her fingers
Penney sensed the game ‘Did it make you jealous’
Melissa knew the game well ‘Must be hard to find a man your age’
Penney laughed ‘Must be hard to figure out
when to put away your dolls and make-believe games’
Melissa took the soda tilted it onto its side
let it pour out on the counter and walked slowly toward the door
‘You little imp’ Penney came from around the counter
Melissa looked back then ran into the dark
(then like a weight)
Friday the 16th evening an orange and blue sky
Spartacus and The Vikings Timmy looked at the gray film canisters
1960 and 1958 ‘These films are too old’ he thought
‘They show them on TV’
Penney watched Timmy click open
the levers and pins of the projector
It was almost time to open up the ticket booth
‘Can I come up later’
‘I don’t care’ Timmy seemed to speak into the projector
She thought about Melissa as she walked down the steps
She stopped Timmy did not think about Melissa
When it was over for Timmy he moved on
Morgan had moved on was changed more fragile
sensitive to everything she said
She turned looked through the window at Timmy
He moved like the hands of a clock jerking forward
he stared at the lens absorbed in the light the images
Already he was distant and she felt the pull in her own heart
pulled by his neglect Another boy being sucked forward to manhood
before he knew what was happening
The emptiness filled him
At the bottom of the stairs Marie waited for Penney
She backed up to give Penney room to walk by
but Penney stopped and gave her mother a stiff hug
‘Here to see the movies’
Marie laughed ‘You know I don’t watch drive-in movies
It’s too hot and muggy’
‘I think Daddy would like it if you came to watch the show sometime’
Penney stopped to look back ‘I have to open up Come with me’
They walked side by side and Marie slipped her hand in Penney’s
It felt good to Penney at first then like a weight
Three cars were waiting in line ‘Come inside while I sell tickets’
They sat knees touched Penney leaned over
handed out tickets collected money and gave change
Hair clothes work and small talk soothed them both
while they waited
for the other to break into the hard stuff
Marie was first ‘Do you think it wise to be living with your father’
She paused ‘He certainly does not need you to take care of him’
The light from the sign emitted an electric hum and static pop
like popcorn popping Insects flopped up against the glass of the booth
Marie noticed dead beetles lying on their backs
brittle like empty eggshells She brushed several onto the ground
and Penney watched her crush them under her shoe while she talked
‘Come live with me It seems awkward for a grown woman
to be living with her father He has no spiritual life’
‘I don’t have a religious life either’ Penney looked up
‘Doesn’t it make more sense if I live with him’
More insects tapped against the glass buzzed clicked
and particles from the wings of moths formed
a glittering surface that reflected the light of cars passing
‘Live on your own’ Marie looked intently
at the insects flying against the glass
Penney continued to collect money hand out tickets
‘You don’t like me around Daddy’
‘I just think you would enjoy yourself more
get to know yourself better on your own’
‘Away from the father you said I should trust
and respect when I was young’
‘He’s changed’
‘So have you’
‘He left the church’
‘He never joined besides he’s a Jew
You really mean to say he left you’
Melissa walked up to the drive-in ticket booth
all cleaned up and asked
‘Can I go in to see Timmy’
Penney stared at her
‘Get out of the way of the cars’
Marie looked at Melissa and felt the need to tell her
‘I’m Penney’s mother’
An icy wind blew from Penney’s stare
Melissa turned her back to Penney
and smiled at Marie
and walked through the gate
toward the concession stand
[Six days was all it took Morgan seemed depressed
that it was over A six-day war Vietnam Now that was a war
Timmy played war in the woods with Gary and David
They set imaginary traps acted out being wounded
and lived courageously through the onslaught of bombs
sand napalm and pine cone grenades They threw
acorns for machine gun fire rolled in the weeds
and Spanish Moss with ticks and ants]
Timmy watched her walk straight toward him
weaving through the parked cars
and waited to see if she looked up at him
She disappeared under the eaves of the building
and he heard her mount the stairs to the projection room
he heard the knocking ‘Go away’
She tried again
‘Go away I’m not going to open the door’
Melissa calm ‘I’m going to tell Marie and Morgan about you and Penney’
Timmy was so annoyed that she would even show up
at the drive-in that the words did not sink in until he saw her
walk back across the rows of cars toward the entrance
‘How does she know What does it matter’ he thought
‘Morgan what would Morgan have to say to me’
The discomfort inside him would not go away
‘Penney came to me’ he thought
‘why do I have to feel like something’s wrong’
His questions increased along with his anger
The thought of Melissa biting her lip
and the hair curled behind her ear were infuriating
Melissa turned his relationship with Penney to something sinister
and he wondered if he would feel the same about Penney
the next time she came to him Timmy was ashamed
that he started thinking of ways to avoid blame
He felt that it would be childish and disloyal to Penney
(God is great)
Wednesday June 21st
A crease of morning light appeared on the floor
and Timmy was remembering the wet stickiness of sex with Penney
He heard Rundi in the front room
He got up and opened the door enough to watch as Rundi bowed
and began his prayers his knees together
he touched his forehead to the rug
Timmy looked into the shadows and waited
before he came out of his room
Rundi’s prayers did not last very long
The rapid conclusion Timmy noticed
was a sign of Rundi’s polite way to say he was finished
Rundi jerked upright rolled up his prayer rug
and headed for the door After prayer Rundi
could not look into anyone’s eyes
Shades of gold light passed through the gray screen door
‘Rundi’ Timmy called ‘I need to ask you something’
Their eyes met Rundi smiled Shy he shifted
from side to side Timmy asked ‘What do you pray’
‘That God is great that He is the Supreme Reality
It helps me remember where I come from’
Timmy stopped remembered nothing like that prayer from church
Maybe saying grace God is great God is good
Timmy stood quietly facing Rundi
Rundi’s black hair in contrast to Timmy’s blonde
He looked at Timmy a good boy a young man
and asked ‘Do you work tonight’
‘No’
‘Have dinner with me and Saira my wife’
Timmy nodded yes
(how to eat and think)
Saira had dark skin black hair and smelled like spice
Not dry like perfume but thicker like oil
Her fingers were wet from olive oil and bits of food
She moved around the kitchen
the fabric of her dress flowing
When she stopped the fabric glided up against her body
All four gas burners on the stove had large pots
one with rice one with soup one with water
and one with milky white liquid
She placed bread on the table
that looked like pizza crust with large papery bubbles
blackened by heat
It all came together at the dinner table
and on Timmy’s plate as he watched
the rice a thick brown sauce with chunks of lamb
and vegetables poured over the top
White milk flavored with cinnamon ladled into his cup
Small dishes of green and red jelly
sat in front of each place setting
One spoon was set next to each plate
Rundi tore the pizza crusts
flimsy and thick into pieces
Cloth napkins Odors of food
A gold light from candles
Timmy’s shoes by the door
He was feeling lost a small being
that rattled around the table reached for food
He could only watch
and imitate the movements of Rundi and Saira
He heard cars and people outside
his ears another kind of window
that let in tin sounds that echoed
Saira brought out fresh peaches
sliced into squares and she apologized
they were not mangos
in another bowl a warm sweet yogurt cream
Timmy felt alone away from the wood frame house of his family
away from the concession stand and the apartment that hung
on the back of the drive-in screen There was a light behind his eyes
He w
anted to film this room and watch it all materialize over-and-over
On his walk home the cars clicked by
provided sound the headlights lit the road
Timmy stood in the gravel and watched his father’s truck
turn the corner and head toward home
Sam waved Timmy nodded
He wanted to know why he ate canned corn and beans
runny under-cooked eggs hard pink ham
instead of food like Rundi How was he going to know
what to do if he ever left Gainesville how to eat and think
pray and remember where he came from
Or forget the life around him like the movies
the sounds the soundtrack the words
his own questions the biggest contradictions
hearing his parents talk ‘Welcome home’
he said aloud as he entered his empty room
in the back of Rundi’s store
(you smell like oranges)
David and Gary tapped on his window
and Timmy let them in the back door
He smelled the cigarettes ‘David your grandma is gonna smell
what you’ve been doing’
David was sullen and Gary spoke
‘His grandfather caught him sneaking in the other night
whipped him for sneaking out So he don’t care’
Timmy watched them sit on the edge of his bed
‘My dad never touched me just my momma’
Gary laughed ‘Your momma is too little to hurt much’
Timmy stared at David whose head tilted down
toward the floor There were bruises on his arms
David said his grandma saw Penney leave Timmy’s room
They looked at Timmy He stared back uncomfortable ‘What’
‘Well tell us’ Gary said smiling
Timmy did not want to confess anything
and did not want to lie to his friends either ‘Cut it out Gary’
David looked up ‘Melissa told us what she saw She told Julie too’
Timmy’s face turned gray
David was afraid to face him and looked down at the floor again
They felt more apart than together
Timmy’s anger surged ‘Yeah and Melissa is being
a little snitch about stuff that’s none of her business’
David and Gary felt his bitterness
A dark cloud of helplessness hung in the room
They talked once about the invisible fence
around their neighborhood
and it now felt as close as the walls of Timmy’s room
Melissa told Julie Julie told his mother
who told his father David’s sister knew
The first sex he has in his life and everyone knows
Gary broke the silence ‘You smell like oranges’
Timmy was jolted back to the room
‘Yeah I ate dinner with Rundi’
Another marvel to David and Gary
‘That man’s as dark as niggers
down near Lincoln Junior High’
Timmy stared at Gary
‘He’s not He’s Indian’
David spoke looking down at the floor
‘My grandfather says he’s colored’
Timmy’s stomach was in a knot
He thought about Eddie McShan
who walked out to the football field
a black quarterback for the first time
at Gainesville High School
Timmy tried again ‘Rundi’s Muslim’
David asked ‘Like Malcolm X My grandfather said
he was evil and he’s glad he’s dead’
‘No’ said Timmy he thought of the black man
with black-rimmed glasses he saw on TV
He knew they shared something
but he was not sure exactly what
The invisible fence grew
closed in why did he feel so much pressure
Gary jumped in again
‘Yeah my daddy said he’s glad
the niggers are killing each other’
Timmy thought of his father
who only read the sports section
how he liked Steve Spurrier
how he drank cold beer on Saturdays
how next year was always the Year of the Gator
He was just glad he did not have to answer
any more questions about Penney
(having sex)
Sunday June 25th
After church Marie stared at Greg
She sat in the church pew facing the altar
Greg turned to the side one arm rested
on the back of the pew in front of her
he looked up at a cross that hung from wires over the altar
‘Did you like the service today’
She thought about Penney
about Timmy and Penney and felt guilty
that she was so preoccupied during the worship
‘I don’t know what to do but I feel I have to do something’
Greg looked at her and spoke with confidence
‘But you must let me help you’
Marie flinched noticed how she jumped to his voice
Was it a promise She wanted a promise
‘Penney is having an affair with a fifteen-year-old boy’
She paused ‘Was that enough Had she said enough’
Could she say Penney is having sex with Timmy
She could not hold the thought of her daughter
and a young boy it scared her
Who would understand this She looked at Greg
His jaw was fixed she could see
his teeth were clenched the tension pulled
his lips into a thin line He understood
did not question Morgan’s disregard for the doctrine
and commandments of God His indignation rose
to fury at the sin and degradation implied by Marie’s confession
Marie felt the contempt in his eyes and closed her own
afraid to look at Greg preferred to look again
at her own heart and feel her own sadness
She got up and walked to the back of the church
not wanting to confess to Greg’s self-righteous benevolence
Greg called out ‘I’ll take care of it’
(invisible to him)
That afternoon the inside of the shop was filled
with gold light reflected by an oil lamp
Greg moved slowly looked curious the door was open
and he called out ‘Hello’ through the yellow haze of light
He hoped to find Timmy alone
Rundi’s shop was quiet He walked toward the back
of the store where he heard voices Each piece of furniture
was polished the floor without dust
the cleanliness and the quality of the solid wood impressed Greg
‘There is no God but God . . . this is the translation
and you bow down on the mat face Mecca
where the Ka’aba stands to raise your heart to the worship of God’
Greg was chilled by the words
The inside of Rundi’s shop felt like a dream
He remembered Rundi’s hands the carefully trimmed nails
and thought how a nurse once told him the hands hold life
the longest they let go only at the end
Care and quality were in every corner of the shop and in the air
the patience of Rundi He had to reach out as if to clear the thick air
as he walked afraid he would run into something
or trip over a rug The edges of the tables the lamps the desks
were blurred and appeared liquid
Greg stopped listened ‘Mohammed
his greatest messenger’ and the words
were repeated by Timmy
‘Mohammed his greatest messenger’
Greg heard them moving in the back room
realized he was intruding on a space made sacred
by Rundi’s prayers He felt crude in his own manners
felt his own impatience his sense of shame something foolish
and he felt his own fear his own faith fail He held up his hands
and watched them shake He prayed for calm
He turned and quietly re-traced his steps out the front door
back to his car parked at the convenience store
He looked back at the wood frame house that was Rundi’s store
The windows were dark Gold light from the lamp
trapped inside the house was invisible to him
(about to burn bright)
Monday Morning June 26th
Morgan sat at the kitchen table held a letter from Marie
He glances at the puppies wrestling on the kitchen floor
and read the letter again
‘Dear Morgan A young girl named Melissa came up to the ticket booth
at the drive-in when I was talking to Penney
Penney acted very strangely toward her
and now I know why Melissa waited by my car to talk to me before I left
She said rather bluntly that Penney had sex with Timmy
and wanted to let me know what kind of daughter I had
What is wrong with you that you would let this happen
I have to assume you might not know
which is the purpose of this letter Since I cannot depend on you
to deal with the concerns I have I am letting you know
in advance that I expect this whole mess to be straightened out
and I am going to get help to do it Marie’
Morgan remembered the gathered forces in the Sinai
the Golan Heights the rhetoric of the Soviets the quiet of China
the distraction of Vietnam and he sensed Penney knew nothing of it all
she lived in the moment of her interest in Timmy while he sat
and watched and now he would wait for the first visitor the first question
Vietnam Syria Jordan Egypt Iraq Israel Penney Marie Timmy Greg
The Soviet Union China Monday morning
Penney walked into the complicated world of Morgan’s kitchen
with her hair in a towel
‘Penney and Timmy’ he mumbled ‘their heat about to burn bright
and in the open’ He felt like the victim
(what people know about you)
Tuesday June 27th
Alone in the small room at the back of Rundi’s shop
was like a dream freedom for Timmy
Crickets would jump against the screen and in the orange light
they looked like twigs on the windowsill
He stood looking across 23rd Street at the convenience store
and watched Greg with his waxed blonde crew cut
dressed in a blue suit walk toward him
Greg slipped his car keys into his right pants pocket
His face was tan and he squinted as he looked at Rundi’s shop
Timmy knew Greg’s picture from a billboard on Hawthorne Road
Pastor Greg from a church at the crossroads
His great grandmother went to church and tent meetings
and talked constantly about God Timmy once asked her
‘What is a tent meeting’
She said ‘It’s where we go to hear God’s word and sing God’s songs’
That was ten years ago when he was five
and no one had told him anything about God’s word
since then until Rundi who told him we are all part of God
that God was inside that he could hear God’s voice if he tried
but he had to stop and listen to the quiet it was there
in the quiet But there were rules hard to understand rules
and his thoughts would drift instead of holding on
to the meaning of the rules
Greg stood outside his window and Timmy looked at him
curious about why Greg would walk toward the store
when it was closed lights out Timmy watched
Greg put his hands up to his forehead
and cupped his eyes to look in the window
He was still his elbows on the window frame
he waited for Greg to come to his window
to see Greg face to face with the glass
and screen between them Greg’s face covered
the window and the shadow covered Timmy’s
He jumped back annoyed that Timmy played
with him ‘Timmy is that you’ Greg reminded him
of the teachers monitoring the hall at school
He wanted nothing to do with it
How did this guy know his name and where he lived
Greg approached the window again
‘Timmy I want to talk to you’
He stood outside acted as if he could see
into Timmy’s room expected Timmy to answer
He was used to being answered
Timmy stared back unmoved and waited
His patience more than Greg could match
Greg’s lips pressed together before he spoke
‘You will have to talk to someone sometime
You’ll regret not talking with me You can’t hide
from what people know about you I’ll be back’
(between her stomach and heart)
Wednesday afternoon June 28th
Penney left the apartment
after talking with Morgan about Marie’s letter
Melissa stood in her bare feet
next to a telephone pole behind the convenience store
It was simple and uncomplicated to Melissa
Making the phone call to Greg was her part
and there was no need to plot revenge
when everything was already in motion
Each picture in her mind was clear like
the blue sky and the orange colored block of the drive-in
Penney walked into Rundi’s shop
Rundi sat behind the glass counter poured oil
into an antique lamp base He adjusted the wick
to let it soak up the oil, then lit it with a match
and placed the glass shield over the flame
Penney walked by without saying hello just nodded
She stumbled on the rug in the hall leading to Timmy’s room
Her walk was stiff and Rundi noticed
She opened the door and Timmy stood there
in a white t-shirt and jeans barefoot
Penney walked past him reached back and closed the door
She sat down on his bed pushed the covers away
Tears marked her cheeks but her eyes were clear
There were still things he noticed for the first time
Lines appeared in Penney’s neck she swallowed hard
‘My mother told her asshole preacher about you and me’
Timmy remembered Greg outside his window
Why did he care ‘She called back after I hung up on her
told me to stop seeing you told me I was immoral’
Penney looked at the color of his skin and hair
‘You are so young’ She paused her voice so faint
he could barely hear ‘Am I hurting you’
Timmy felt the pressure in his head
squeeze out the sound ‘No’
‘Would it hurt you if we stopped’
Timmy thought how comfortable it was
when he slept next to her warm skin her smell
‘No’ his high pitched voice sounded like it had traveled
through wire and squeaked out of the metal speakers at the drive-in
Penney got up put her arms around Timmy
as he stood facing the door The shop was quiet
She kissed the back of his neck and for the first ti
me
felt a contraction of pain between her stomach and heart
Her eyes searched his white scalp and thin blond hair
He looked strange from behind rigid
Had she forced him to be too much
The little boy defended himself his stoic manner
Maybe he was too young and she made a mistake
loved him so physically without a thought
filled her own needs
She pulled him to the bed put her hands under his shirt
and pulled it off put her leg over his waist pulled him closer
He buried his face in her neck smelled her skin
Morgan looked out from his apartment window
and remembered how the dog got hit by the car
A white Lincoln pulled up to the front of Rundi’s store
A few moments later two black and white police cars
Greg walked into the store and two policemen followed
Melissa moved behind the black creosote light post
Morgan walked into his bedroom
and took the two guns out of his dresser
Ozzie and Harriet jumped up and followed Morgan
back to the living room They bit at his stocking feet
Morgan glanced out the windows watched the entrance to Rundi’s
store There was not any traffic on Hawthorne Road
He left the apartment and left open the door
Ozzie and Harriet followed him down the steps
across the road and sat down behind him
Morgan stared at the police cars and pulled the guns out of his pockets
There was a soft knock at the door
Timmy opened his eyes looked at Penney
‘Yeah’ He turned away to get up
Rundi’s voice called out ‘Timmy’ His tone was serious
Timmy got up and opened the door
Greg pushed in over Rundi’s shoulder
and stood in the middle of the floor stared
at Penney’s breasts as she sat up
and adjusted her blouse then he stared at Timmy
shirtless in jeans barefoot Greg’s eyes narrowed
Rundi turned away and the police walked in
pushed Timmy back stood over Penney
and told her to get up One grabbed Penney’s wrist
and pulled her up to her feet Timmy looked past Rundi
through the open door and down the hall
to Morgan standing behind the police cars in front of the store
There was a gold aura around the cars
Heat waves rippled up like the air in an Eastwood desert scene
Morgan walked to the front of the police cars
checked the clips and the cartridges
then fired The echo of the gunshots was hollow
like the sound in the projection room
The police pulled Penney down to the floor
Greg jumped behind the door
Timmy watched without flinching
Morgan walked around the cars
his shoulders hunched forward as he looked from side to side
Everything seemed to slow down for Timmy
He looked down
On the floor one policeman held Penney
the other grabbed for his gun scrambled to get up
Greg saw the gun his blonde hair standing straight
beads of sweat forming on his red scalp
he mutters ‘Jesus fucking Christ’
Morgan looked toward the shop from behind the cars
leveled the guns and fired four more shots
that shattered the rear windows of the cars
Timmy looks around at the policemen at Penney
Greg stared at him Rundi lay face down on the floor in the hall
Morgan ran back across Hawthorne Road
Ozzie and Harriet chased him
Timmy returned to Greg’s stare
The policeman behind the door gun drawn
was breathing hard ‘Is he gone’
Mogan was at the steps to his apartment
‘No’ and everyone tensed
Timmy counted slowly as Morgan climbed the steps three four five
As soon as he saw Morgan disappear from sight
he closed his eyes and spoke ‘He’s gone’
Penney looked up at Timmy tears in her red eyes
The policeman on the floor cried out
‘Goddammit Eddie go call for help’
He stood up Penney yanked her arm away as she stood
The policemen moved quickly to the front door
Eddie slipped out crawled into his front seat and radioed for help
Rundi looked out the window
then turned to Timmy his eyes dropped down in shame
(wheels in the gravel)
Two more police cars arrived
and two officers ran across Hawthorne Road
Rundi was in his shop behind the glass counter
felt sick to his stomach but nothing in his store was damaged
a sign from God he sighed Timmy looked at him
felt the sadness in Rundi’s eyes
Eddie came back inside
Timmy would not say he knew the shooter
but Greg was sure it was Morgan and had said so
Timmy and Penney looked across the road
near the bottom of the stairs the police shoved Morgan forward
he stumbled and fell White dust formed a cloud in the scuffle
Penney cried out ‘Daddy’ and headed for the door
the policemen grabbed her Timmy pushed past Greg for the door
but Greg grabbed him and yelled ‘Look out
Show respect for what’s happening here’
‘Not for you’ he stared into Greg’s eyes ‘Leave us alone’
and he pushed Greg in the chest
Greg’s forehead turned crimson his hair an explosion
of bleached streaks and he grabbed Timmy around the neck
and pulled him back but he stumbled and they fell
Rundi stood trying to break their fall
but all three tumbled into Rundi’s counter
The glass exploded as it collapsed
under the weight of Timmy and Greg
on top of Rundi pinned him down
The lamp tipped over spilled oil onto the carpet
The violence of the fall the flying glass shocked Rundi
He could not move and watched as the lamp oil spilled
into the glass over the carpet and popped into flame
Everyone fought to get up the fire spread
into the carpet under a table
The sight of the flames frightened Rundi
He kicked at Greg and strained to pull himself up
the sharp point of cut glass pierced his side
then his stomach muscles relaxed
and warm blood spread in his shirt
His legs went numb
and a chill flowed over him
Timmy’s hands were cut
As he tried to stand up
the hot oil burned and made him yell in pain
The policeman let go of Penney
pushed a table over and rolled up the carpet
to smother the fire Everyone was silent and stopped
except Penney who ran to Morgan
Greg coughed rolled over to get up and stumbled
as he pushed out the front door The back of his shirt
was covered with blood Timmy saw the blood
and turned to look at Rundi who lay still with his arm out
and palm up his eyes unblinking
The light flickered in the glass
smoke burned Timmy’s eyes and he looked through the haze
up toward the ceiling and saw a policeman looking down at him
Greg’s car spun its wheels in the gravel
(content with his own death)
&
nbsp; Morgan sat in the back of a police car
stared at Rundi’s front door His elbows skinned
and painful from his fall down the steps
He was not able to look at Penney
as a policeman put her in the back seat of another car and drove away
Timmy sat on the sidewalk in front of Rundi’s store
his hands in soft white gauze and stared at the ambulance
He felt cold A policeman walked over
and handed him Morgan’s keys told him
Morgan asked that he feed the dogs
Timmy looked up and nodded
The tree line behind the drive-in was bright green
overhead the blue sky darkened
in the distance gray clouds stacked up
and rolled with black edges
He looked around He was alone
like an empty fruit bowl sitting in the center of a table
His back hurt he could not remember
the pain of glass being pulled out of his hands by a medic
just the shaking and the dried blood
the smell of the burnt carpet the dizziness after he fell backward
and he felt tears fill his eyes
He tried to recall each step the moment of each movement
The knock on the door Morgan aiming the guns
the crunch of glass the splintered wood
the suddenness of landing on Rundi
and his head snapped back by Greg
Rundi’s body had saved his life
He was too stunned to cry out when he saw Rundi on the floor
He skipped over the gaps in his memory
like a dirty needle that slides over the grooves of a record
He could not slow it down settle in a track and listen
Everything slid to the end just the way he lived it
a hard slide to this moment and the cuts on his hands
A policeman told Timmy to go home
A man in a blue khaki outfit arrived in a tow truck
and fixed the flat tires
Timmy walked over to the drive-in
stood and looked up at the orange block wall
the steps up to the apartment
Ozzie and Harriet cried scratched at the door
His eyes hurt Every move caused the collapse
of the sides of a hole he fell into and he feared
how hard it would be to climb out as the sand slid
under his hands and feet The numbness made him feel swollen
heavy and tired He could imagine being content with his own death
In a very quiet voice he repeated
‘I will remember Rundi’ Timmy walked over
sat down behind the ticket kiosk and cried out
to the orange and blue fence of the drive-in
to the empty sky for the pain for his friend Rundi
Deep in his chest a gap opened in his heart
where the sound of his cry vibrated his whole body
like a newborn child He cried tears out of his open eyes
(did anyone ever question you)
The Wednesday afternoon heat was dry
Sam watched Timmy walk into the yard
his hands in his pockets He grabbed the beer
on the table by the neck of the bottle and drank
as if it poured out of his thumb
Sam did not ask Timmy any questions
Timmy’s eyes were red angry as he looked at his father
Sam had nothing to say What was it
that Timmy wanted from him
Timmy was humiliated and helpless when he sat down
Timmy’s mother came in the kitchen
stood at the table and reached over to Timmy
grabbed his hair shook his head
and wiped his cheek with her hand
The cold feel stabbed at him
He looked at his mother and realized
how young she was She looked
just out of high school but pale and tired
For the first time he noticed how similar
the features of his sister and mother
Her stomach was shaped like the slight growth
of Julie’s womb Blonde hair vacant eyes
He felt sick and turned to his father
‘Did anyone ever question you
about getting a fourteen-year-old girl pregnant’
Sam and Anne looked at each other
Timmy waited the silence followed him
on his walk back to Rundi’s store
Sam followed him out the door called out to him
as he walked up 23rd Street but Timmy did not stop
and closed himself in his room
Sam went to Timmy to explain himself
yet he wanted Timmy to explain
because it was the child who was supposed to explain his behavior
not the father Timmy sat firmly in place expected
his father to tell him something confide in him
some understanding of what was going on
but Sam was a man easily turned away
(fuck you)
Timmy lay in his bed Wednesday night
arms and legs surging with a nervous pulse
a geological map of his feelings burning into the contours of his body
Sorrow and anger attached to every thought
The metal chain from the light overhead swung back and forth
in a gradually decreasing arc He wished
for his own thoughts to resolve into one place
where he could put the blame and wait
for the thought to arrive with the last visible motion of the chain
Melissa Morgan His father His mother Julie
All of them slippery and wet nothing clung
to them like the sorrow and anger were clinging to him
And Penney she was tied to him with a rope full of tightly coiled knots
and her weight caused the rope to cut deeper into his hands
the more he tried to pull her toward him
He fell asleep and dreamed he spanked Melissa shot Morgan
never spoke to his parents again and he drove off in Penney’s GTO
indignant self-righteous and satisfied
the people in his life that did not care for him
would somehow start to care or feel regret
He left Penney in the dust at the entrance
to the Orange & Blue Drive-In
As he drove away he looked down
and saw he was naked in the car
a roadblock appeared ahead of him and there was a policeman
who motioned for him to pull over He started to panic
his arms and legs shaking . . .
David tapped on Timmy’s window
Gary called out ‘Wake up paleface’
The alarm clock was not ticking
He got out of bed put on his jeans and walked out
He looked at the purple sky and tried to guess the time
The lights were out in all the houses he could see
as they walked across Hawthorne Road to let the dogs out
Gary lit a cigarette and passed it to Timmy ‘How’s your hands’
Timmy looked at the bandages
‘Ok just a bunch of small cuts but I bled like a pig’
The gauze felt tight David jumped in ‘and so did Rundi’
Timmy stared at him the word pig burned in his mouth
and he spit out the words ‘Fuck you’
(John stood up)
David and Gary collected admissions at night
Julie worked the concession stand
and Timmy ran everywhere to the projectors
the admissions the dogs the concession stand
A woman from the state arrived on Friday
and wanted to put Timmy in a foster home
She thought he was Penney’s son She wa
rned him
about sex with underage girls and explained
the consequences of rape and statutory rape
He looked at the judgment in her eyes
She had never met his mother and father
Timmy read the newspaper in Rundi’s store
Was Morgan keeping up with the Arabs and Jews
NASA Vietnam and LBJ Martin Luther King
Greg was the most quoted minister in Gainesville
with commentary on the immoral condition of Timmy’s parents
Morgan and Penney ‘Statutory rape
was the natural consequence of unnatural desire
which was the fault of Morgan’ in his Christian view
Greg bought a seat cover for his car to hide
the stain from Rundi’s blood
and he threw away his blood soaked clothes
Marie read the paper and hid at home
Greg stood in the pulpit read every page in the Bible
that condemned fornication and made sure
to leave out the vague ones
He raised his voice and consciousness
to new levels of righteous indignation
Marie wanted to slide under her seat at church
but instead passed out The ushers rushed to her
John stood up behind her and yelled ‘Pillar of salt Pillar of salt’
Greg towered over the pandemonium from the pulpit and shouted
‘Calm down I’m sure she will be all right calm down’
The ushers carried Marie out of the church
and several women followed to help
John stood still and Greg walked down from the pulpit
shoved him in the chest and he sat down on his mother’s lap
She grabbed him around the waist hid her head in his back
said over and over to John ‘We are forgiven’