Leaping Off the Page: Any Time of the Year Edition

  Home Run

  A Sketch

  I wrote this piece on March 27, 2006, shortly after the death of Charles M. Tanner, the founder of Covenant Players, a Christian touring drama ministry. There are a lot of in-jokes here, so it’ll have the most meaning to people who have been associated with Covenant Players.

  Silas: Peter, Peter! He’s here! He’s here!

  Peter: Who? Who’s here?

  Silas: You know. The one they called Chuck.

  Peter: There are lots of Chucks.

  Silas: Chuck Tanner.

  Peter: Oh, yeah. The guy who said it was hard to win a pennant, but even harder to lose one. Coached baseball.

  Silas: Baseball?

  Peter: (Pantomimes batting a ball)

  Silas: Right. Strange way to spend a Sunday afternoon. (Shakes head) No, not the baseball coach.

  Peter: Let’s see. Chuck Tanner, you said?

  Silas: Yeah. Charles M.

  Peter: Little guy?

  Silas: Hmm, well. He wasn’t big…

  Peter: Passionate?

  Silas: Totally committed.

  Peter: Liked to hug a lot?

  Silas: Whoa! You got it!

  Peter: And talk?

  Silas: Don’t I know it!

  Peter: Isn’t he the guy that said if you understand and trust, that’s wisdom?

  Silas: Yeah. And if you don’t understand and trust, that’s faith.

  Peter: Okay. I got him now. Wrote plays, didn’t he?

  Silas: Lots of them. (Glumly) A few too many.

  Peter: Oh, now I remember! Bananas and oranges!

  Silas: That’s right. And I want to meet the man.

  Peter: Where’s he now?

  Silas: Somewhere about. I don’t know. I’ve been looking.

  Peter: Well, figure it out, man. What do you know about him?

  Silas: Well, I worked on it. I figured he’d look up his old friends.

  Peter: Did he?

  Silas: Not right away, of course.

  Peter: Of course. They all want to see the Son first.

  Silas: Didn’t you?

  Peter: All I ever wanted.

  Silas: Me, too. It was great. Animated conversation, deep silences, a little weeping, a lot of laughter. I know this Chuck guy spent a long time with Him.

  Peter: We have lots of time.

  Silas: An eternity. Then, like everyone else, I knew he’d look up old friends.

  Peter: There’s a lot of ‘em up here.

  Silas: Yeah, I know. I figured he’d want to start a drama group with them, so I went to the Celestial Playhouse.

  Peter: Makes sense. It’s always great to get new expressions of worship. He wasn’t there?

  Silas: No. I couldn’t find them doing that.

  Peter: What else does he like to do?

  Silas: He’s a friendly guy—loves people. He loved to fellowship with family and friends. Strong coffee, cheesy omelet’s, burnt French fries…

  Peter: Everybody here loves fellowship. Maybe not the burnt French fries, but…

  Silas: That’s what makes it so hard—everybody’s having such a good time with everybody else, it’s hard to find a distinct group. Then I remembered something. Something, well—

  Peter: Distinct?

  Silas: Yeah. Distinct. Sometimes I peeked in on him having lunch and asking his friends a lot of questions. I think they called it “quiz”.

  Peter: Strange.

  Silas: Well, I thought so, but they all seemed to enjoy it. So I looked for a bunch of people doing that. Nothing.

  Peter: Don’t blame them. I’d rather be fishing! Fishing! Did you try that?

  Silas: Of course not. Not everybody has the same fascination with fishing that you have.

  Peter: So, what’d you do?

  Silas: I looked everywhere. I even went to the roundhouse. I vaguely recalled he had a thing for trains. Weak, I know, but…

  Peter: No banana, eh?

  Silas: Bananas! I really gotta find this guy.

  Peter: Uh huh.

  Silas: All I found was a bunch of people playing—what did you call it? (Mimes batting a ball)

  Peter: Baseball.

  Silas: Yeah. Baseball. Musta been the other Chuck Tanner.

  Peter: Too bad.

  Silas: Weird game, too.

  Peter: How so?

  Silas: They had this one little guy who wanted to pitch for both teams.

  Peter: Weird. Well, keep looking, Silas. You’ve got lots of time.

  Silas: Yeah. (Walks off, mumbling) Bananas!

  Curtain

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