Leaping Off the Page: Any Time of the Year Edition

  IT’S A LIFE

  A Sketch

  Cast:

  Alec: A searcher after the things of God. Doesn’t go to church. Yet.

  Barney: A church-goer.

  SCENE: A cafeteria at work, or a food court. Any place where fellow employees can eat their lunch. The set only needs one small table and a couple of chairs.

  The two guys enter with cafeteria trays and lunch. They will eat throughout their conversation.

  Alec: (Putting the tray down) So, how was church yesterday?

  Barney: (Shrugs, sits) I don’t know.

  Alec: (Raised brows, sits) What do you mean, you don’t know?

  Barney: I didn’t go.

  ALEC: Oh. Okay. You away visiting family this weekend?

  Barney: No.

  Alec: Sick or something? You look—

  Barney: (Interrupting) No, I wasn’t sick.

  Alec: Car broke down? I keep telling you, you should get a Chev.

  Barney: Of course my car wasn’t broken down.

  Alec: Well, what was wrong?

  Barney: For Pete’s sake, Alec! There was nothing wrong! I just didn’t go to church!

  Alec: But you love church. You’re always trying to get me to go with you.

  Barney: Okay, okay. I didn’t go to church because they had some missionary speaking.

  Alec: (Flat) Oh. That’s terrible. (A beat) Is it catching?

  Barney: (Sourly) Funny. It’s just…

  Alec: Just what?

  Barney: You know.

  Alec: No, I don’t know. You’re the church goer, not me.

  Barney: Well, it’s embarrassing!

  Alec: You’re kidding.

  Barney: No, I’m not. You get some guy in a shiny suit showing slides of Darkest India—

  Alec: Isn’t that Darkest Africa?

  Barney: Whatever. The guy drones on about famine and leprosy and land rovers and his work among the Hottentots.

  Alec: Sounds interesting.

  Barney: Interesting! You outta your mind?

  Alec: It sounds fascinating.

  Barney: I don’t believe you. You don’t even go to church and you’re fascinated by musty old slides?

  Alec: You’ve told me how becoming a Christian last year has changed your life.

  Barney: It has.

  Alec: But I haven’t seen it.

  Barney: What do you mean you haven’t seen it? I keep telling you—

  Alec: I know what you keep telling me. But I haven’t seen it.

  Barney: You from Missouri?

  Alec: (Ignoring that) Your lifestyle is the same as it was before. You’re still making payments on useless Fords and you still eat soggy French Fries.

  Barney: What’s that got to do with anything?

  Alec: I’ve been reading that New Testament you gave me.

  Barney: That’s great! (Mumbles) I think.

  Alec: It talks about feeding the hungry.

  Barney: Yeah.

  Alec: I haven’t seen you do that. Unless it’s your own stomach.

  Barney: I donate stuff to the Food Bank. You know that!

  Alec: Giving away a can of beans changes your life?

  Barney: Well, what do you want me to do? Go down to the Rescue Mission and dole out the soup?

  Alec: (Grins) Now that would change your life!

  Barney: Oh, come on! You know how busy I am!

  Alec: Making money.

  Barney: Some of which I give to missions.

  Alec: I know you’re generous with your money, Barney.

  Barney: Well then?

  Alec: This missionary guy. Well, it seems to me…

  Barney: What?

  Alec: Well, that he’s generous with his life. And that I can see!

  Curtain

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