Divided

  Becca was very much afraid he was right but what could they do? Clearly Truth wasn’t prepared to forgive the emotional intrusion of the night before, but they couldn’t just leave him behind—they needed him. Vashtar had been very specific—the three of them were going to have to work together even if Truth hated their guts.

  “Well,” she said reluctantly. “I guess I’d better go pack. Sounds like I might have to borrow some cold weather things from some of the other girls. I never did get around to bringing my winter clothes up to the Mother Ship.”

  “You’ll probably be wearing protective gear for most of the trip. A rogue planet has no atmosphere because it gets stripped away when the planet is flung out of orbit.” Far looked thoughtful. “Still, it might be wise to bring some warm clothes. Clearly the inhabitants have some means of staying alive—maybe they have an atmosphere dome.”

  “Would that keep us warm?” Becca asked.

  “Warm enough to survive, maybe, but it still might be uncomfortably cold. It takes a lot of power to heat a dome and the citizens of Orthanx have been without an atmosphere for millennia. If I had to bet, I’d guess that whatever controlled environment they’re living in is on auxiliary power by now and putting out the bare minimum of heat and light.”

  Becca nodded. “Okay, like I said, I’ll be sure to bring something warm.”

  Far nodded shortly. “That’s probably wise. But don’t be too long—Sylvan is speaking to the Council even now. They’ll probably want us gone within the hour.”

  “See you soon, then,” Becca said and hurried off. Who could she borrow some winter clothes from? Liv and Sophia were out—they were too thin. Becca’s wide hips and full behind would never fit into their skinny clothes…

  Of course! I know just who to see… and maybe she can give me some advice too.

  Becca hoped, anyway.

  * * * * *

  “So you’re asking if I have any warm weather clothes?” Kat asked. “Why me?”

  “Because we’re almost the same size. Well, in the hips anyway,” Becca said.

  Kat snorted. “Yeah, you’re not nearly as big up top as me. Lucky for you, you don’t need to borrow my ‘over the shoulder boulder holder,’ as Liv calls my bra.”

  Becca smiled. “I guess you’re right—not that I’d try to borrow a bra anyway. Unless you have a fur lined one?”

  “Hmm, that would be really sexy.” Kat smiled. “I don’t have one but I might want to make one.”

  “Oh, do you sew?” Becca asked with interest.

  “Nope. Who needs a sewing machine when you’ve got a clothing pattern replicator?”

  “A what?”

  “This. Look.” Kat led her to a strange looking machine in the corner of her living area. It had a screen on one end and a wide slot with a tray at the other. “See…” Kat was rapidly typing something into the touch screen. “It has connections to the Earth and Kindred Internet. Anything you can think of you just type in the search engine. When you find what you want, you input your measurements and hit the replicate button.” She pressed a button and the machine began to hum. A moment later something popped out of the slot at the other end of the machine and landed in the tray. “Go on,” she nodded at Becca. “Pick it up.”

  Becca picked it up and burst out laughing. “You actually made a furry bra?” She held up the undergarment which had white fur covering the shoulder straps and the outside of the cups.

  Kat frowned. “Well, I wanted a fur lined one like we talked about but this was the closest thing I could find.”

  “Looks like something a cavewoman would wear in a really bad B movie,” Becca said, handing her the bra. “But this is amazing, Kat! I had no idea the Kindred had technology like this.”

  Kat grinned. “I know, right? We’re grateful for all the advances they’ve given us in science and medicine but I think this has to be my favorite piece of Kindred tech, hands down.”

  “It’s great,” Becca agreed. “So can you replicate me some warmer clothes?”

  “Sure, doll. And why don’t I make you some fur panties to go with the bra while I’m at it.” Kat winked at her. “If you’re going on a secret mission with your two guys, you want to have something hot and naughty to slip into—not just long underwear.”

  Becca bit her lip and looked away. “No…no, just some warmer clothes will be fine,” she said quietly.

  “Hey…” Kat peered at her anxiously. “What’s wrong? Are Truth and Far still at each other’s throats? I thought they made some real progress yesterday.”

  “They did.” Becca cleared her throat. “And they made even more, uh, progress after we saved Truth from being possessed last night.”

  “What?” Kat demanded. “You should have led with that instead of all the stuff you told me about the weird vision you guys had! Tell me all about it and don’t leave out any details.”

  Blushing, Becca recounted how she and Far had claimed Truth and cast the demon out, then the way things had turned sexual afterwards.

  “Truth seemed to feel so close to us after we came together to save him,” she said. “He was much more open to the idea of…of sharing.”

  “Sharing you, you mean,” Kat said.

  Becca nodded. “But I don’t know, maybe it went too far. I know I thought it did.”

  Kat frowned. “You didn’t do the deed, did you? I mean, you probably couldn’t have bonding sex without the fruit but you could still…you know.”

  “Oh, no—of course not! Nothing like that but we did…do some things I might not have done if I wasn’t so…if being between them didn’t make me so…”

  “So horny,” Kat finished for her matter-of-factly. “It’s all right, hon—you can say it. I like being between my guys too.”

  “But I shouldn’t.” Becca twisted her hands in her lap. “I mean, I swore to myself I wouldn’t go too far with them. And then I sort of just…lost all control.”

  Kat grinned. “That tends to happen around Kindred warriors for some reason. They’re so big and intense and sexy that before you know it you’re out of your panties and having the time of your life.”

  “That’s exactly what I shouldn’t be doing, though,” Becca exclaimed. “I know I promised to help them bond but this is going too far.”

  Kat looked thoughtful. “And yet, after you went ‘too far’ is when you had the vision, right?”

  Becca nodded reluctantly. “That is true.” She frowned. “And this Vashtar person said that he was finally able to get through to us because of the, uh, pleasure we took in each other.”

  Kat snapped her fingers. “See? And that follows what the Goddess said through Nadiah—she said that once the guys were bonded they would have true visions. Didn’t she?”

  “Um, something like that, I think.” Nadiah’s words came back to her… “Your visions hold the key. When you are bonded then they will reveal more than passing shadows.”

  “So don’t you see? By allowing Truth and Far to share you, you opened yourselves up to a vision that could possibly save the lives of every unmated Kindred on the Mother Ship.” Kat sounded excited. “So you’re doing the right thing, Becca, even if you feel guilty about it.”

  Becca shook her head. “I guess. I just can’t…I spent so much time trying to avoid these feelings. Trying to…to…”

  “To keep your virginity?” Kat raised an eyebrow at her.

  “No.” Becca sighed. “I know you probably have that idea of me because I was going to become a nun but I’m not a virgin, Kat.”

  “What? But isn’t that like, a requirement or something?”

  “For some orders, maybe. Mine simply demanded chastity and virtue. I haven’t been doing very well in either department lately.” Becca hung her head.

  “But can you tell me—I mean, if you don’t mind me asking—how…”

  “How did I lose my virginity?” Becca laughed sadly. “It’s a fairly standard story. My parents kept me in an all girls school right through high school and I was
never allowed to date.”

  “Wow, strict,” Kat commented.

  “Uh-huh. Like I said, my father was determined to protect me. So of course when I went away to college, I rebelled.”

  “What—you became a party girl?” Kat looked at her skeptically. “I have to say, you don’t seem the type.”

  “No, I’m not. But I did finally get a boyfriend.” Becca smiled. “His name was Kenneth. Kenneth Parker. And I was completely in love with him. We met in English class and became study partners. He didn’t have the guts to ask me out until the end of the semester and even then he was so nervous he stuttered.” She smiled, remembering.

  “Kenneth was such a romantic. He liked all the cheesy cornball things you always think about when you think true love—walks on the beach, picnics under the stars, candlelight dinners. Of course we were college students so the dinners were mostly ramen noodles but still, it was nice.”

  Kat grinned. “Sounds great. So what happened—you couldn’t help yourself and started doing the nasty?”

  “Just once.” Becca looked away. “It was my first time…and my last.”

  “And then you freaked out afterwards and broke it off?” Kat asked.

  “No.” Becca cleared her throat. “He…I don’t…I can’t talk about it.”

  “That bad, huh?” Kat asked sympathetically.

  Becca nodded. Her throat was tight and she was trying as hard as she could not to remember the awful details of that night. The night…No! She pushed the thought away as hard as she could.

  “Whatever it was, it still hurts, doesn’t it?” Kat murmured sympathetically.

  Becca nodded and sniffed, pressing the back of her hand to her eyes. The hot tears stinging her lids were proof that some pain never really fades. Oh, Kenneth…

  She cleared her throat and made herself continue.

  “After that night was when I decided to become a nun. I felt like…like God was punishing me for giving in to my lust. It was the only way I could think to redeem myself.”

  “Oh, honey…” Kat shook her head. “I’m not the most religious person in the world but I don’t think that’s how God works. Or the Goddess, either. She put you together with Truth and Far for a reason—you don’t have to be ashamed of anything you do with them or be worried that something awful is going to happen if you give in and let yourself love them.”

  Hearing her own secret fear put into words— a fear she had buried so deeply even she had not acknowledged it—made Becca feel better somehow.

  “Yes,” she said, her voice trembling. “That’s exactly what I’m afraid of. Not just of losing my virtue but that if I let myself go too far—let them go too far—something will happen to one or both of them. I just…I can’t lose them like that.”

  “You won’t,” Kat assured her softly. “You have to trust the Goddess on this one—she gave you these two guys to love and to bring together. She’s not going to yank the rug out from under you.”

  “I guess…” Becca wasn’t convinced. She sighed. “It doesn’t matter anyway—it’s not like we’ll be doing any more ‘sharing’ in the near future. Or at all, for that matter.”

  “Why not?” Kat asked. “Look, before you answer that doll, give me your sizes. We need to start replicating you some clothes if you’re going to be ready for your secret spy mission.”

  Becca gave her sizes and Kat began typing busily.

  “Okay, so tell me what you meant,” she said. “I thought you said Truth and Far made a lot of progress. So why aren’t the three of you raring to go?”

  Becca sank onto the couch as Kat continued to type on the replicator’s screen. “We had a fight after the vision, although I don’t know how I got involved in it. Far let it slip that he had been uh, researching Truth’s past and Truth got all bent out of shape.”

  “What did he do? Call his old high school buddies and try to dig up some dirt?” Kat asked.

  “Close. He talked to Truth’s stepmother. But apparently digging into someone else’s private business is a big no-no in Rai’ku culture.”

  Kat snorted. “Show me something that’s not a no-no in that stiff-ass culture. They don’t hug their kids, they don’t touch each other—it’s ridiculous. I mean, they’re supposed to be like these were-type creatures that turn into animals and run in a pack. Wouldn’t you think they’d be more touchy like wolves or dogs are?”

  “Apparently not,” Becca said dryly. “And we don’t really know what they turn into, remember?”

  Kat sighed. “I guess not. So go on—Truth got mad because Far was digging the dirt on him…”

  “Not digging dirt—trying to get to know him. And also, trying to find information on their father, Feels Pain.” Becca shook her head. “That’s when things got really ugly.”

  Kat looked up from the replicator screen. “Oh? What happened?”

  “Well, all this time Far has been longing for his real father and jealous that Truth got to know him and he didn’t. But it turns out…” Becca shook her head. “It’s not really my story to tell so I can’t give details but it turns out that Feels Pain was, well… abusive.”

  “And Truth told you all this?”

  “More like he shouted it at us,” Becca said in a low voice. She closed her eyes for a moment, remembering the pain in the dark twin’s face. The memory twisted her heart—she yearned to heal him. To make things right. But to do that she would need Far, and Truth wanted nothing to do with his brother right now. Or ever again, for that matter.

  “So he shouted personal information like that?” Kat’s eyes widened. “I wouldn’t have thought he was the type to be a big emotional sharer.”

  “He’s not,” Becca said flatly. “Which I think is why he’s so mad at Far and me now. Because he thinks we forced him into sharing something way too personal.” She sighed. “Although I don’t know why he’s making me out to be the enemy too. I can see why he’s mad at Far—he feels betrayed and violated that Far went behind his back to find out personal details. But I didn’t do anything like that.”

  “No, but he wants you. You tempt him so much he has to push you away,” Kat said. “It was the same with me and Deep. He nearly got the three of us killed before he would admit we all belonged together.”

  “At least he didn’t hate his twin,” Becca said. “That’s what makes this so hard—I’m already conflicted about being with two guys at once that I’m not married to. But Truth feels even more strongly than me that what we’re doing is wrong, which puts me and Far on his bad side. And he has such a heavy bad side.”

  “Truth doesn’t hate Far,” Kat said with quiet certainty. “He wants a bond with him—every bit as much as he wants a bond with you.”

  “He could have fooled me,” Becca said. “I mean, with all his homophobic talk about not touching another male or sharing a female…”

  “He doesn’t just want to be bonded to Far—he needs to. It’s part of the Twin Kindred sex drive—they need to be connected and they need to share a female.” Kat shrugged. “Truth just doesn’t want to acknowledge that because of the way he was raised. He hates himself for wanting the two of you and then he hates you for tempting him. It’s a vicious cycle.”

  “One that’s not going to end anytime soon, I’m afraid,” Becca said sadly. “You know, even though I felt guilty about it afterwards, the, uh, experience I had with them before we all started fighting was…well, I’ve never felt anything like it before—not even with Kenneth. It was amazing.”

  “Of course it was, doll. Nobody knows how to make a girl feel good like a Kindred. It’s in their blood. And when you get two of them working together and completely focused on making you happy…watch out!” Kat winked at her. “Okay, now look at these and tell me what you think…”

  She got up and went around to the tray of the replicator which was now filled with garments in Becca’s size.

  “Nice,” Becca said, stroking a thick, warm coat that would fall past her knees. “I like the color too.”
/>
  “I thought the crimson shade would work really well with your skin tones.” Kat held it up to Becca’s chin and nodded approvingly. “And look at that—I was right, as usual.”

  Becca smiled. “I’m not going to disagree. Not after you made me a fabulous new wardrobe in fifteen minutes.”

  Kat grinned back. “Now, I have some other things here too but—” She stopped for a minute, her head cocked to one side in a listening posture. “Uh-oh—that was Deep. He says to tell you that Sylvan says you need to meet Truth and Far in the docking bay in twenty minutes.”

  Becca’s eyes widened. “Oh no, I haven’t packed anything.”

  “I’ll loan you a cube for these,” Kat said quickly. “And don’t worry about shampoo or anything like that—if they’re sending you out in a long range shuttle, it should have things like that in the bathroom.”

  They got busy packing—well, mostly Kat supervised and Becca packed because it was too hard for her pregnant friend to bend over. In no time just about everything Becca needed was shrunk down by another piece of handy Kindred tech and pushed into a one foot by one foot purple cube.

  “There.” Kat said, dusting her hands together. “That’s done. All you have to do is pick what you want and add a drop of the regrowth serum. It’s in this bottle here.” She handed Becca a small vial of blue liquid.

  “Amazing.” Becca looked at the tiny cube which held an entire winter wardrobe as well as some sexy underwear Kat had insisted on replicating for her. “This is almost as good as the replicator. Kindred technology really is wonderful. How do they come up with all this stuff?”

  “Well, they’ve been genetic traders, always on the go, for thousands of years,” Kat said. “So it stands to reason that they’d pursue high-tech packing and storage methods, right?”

  “I guess so.” Becca lifted the cube. “Well, I guess I’d better go…”

  “No, wait—I have one more thing I have to give you.” Kat left the room and headed for the food prep area of the suite. Becca heard her rummaging around in the cabinets and when she came back, she was holding a small blue bottle with an elaborate glass stopper shaped like a flower. “Here.” She held it out to Becca who took it and examined it curiously.