Divided

  In life, Blix had been a wonderful companion—extremely intelligent and capable of empathy in a way most animals weren’t. How many times had Far cuddled him close when the world where he was an outcast and a freak became too much? How often had he felt that rough little tongue gently clean away his tears while his friend comforted him the only way he could?

  But there was no comfort to be found in the stiff, lifeless form in his arms. No comfort to be found anywhere anymore. Even his family wished him dead. Maybe he should grant their wish…

  “What is he doing?” Becca asked softly as the younger Far laid Blix gently down on his pillow and got off the bed. “Where is he going?”

  “To get something.” Far’s throat was too tight to say more.

  “To get what?” Truth growled softly. He turned to look at Far. “Brother, you said that this memory was not as bad as what the Mindscape showed Rebecca and myself but I think you are wrong. To lose your one companion and hear that your family, the ones who should have cared for you most—”

  “Blix was just a pet,” Far interrupted, forcing the words out. “That’s all. Just a pet.”

  “He was more than that,” Becca said gently, looking at the little heap of fur on the pillow. “He was the only one who loved you unconditionally. The one you always knew cared. The one you could go to when life got hard.”

  “It was always hard,” Truth said, still looking at him. “Wasn’t it? Being there—living on that place where everyone else had a brother and you had no one.”

  “I…” Far shook his head, his attention drawn away from Becca and Truth. His younger self had emerged from the storage unit where he had been rummaging around for some time. Apparently he had found what he was seeking.

  Becca made a low sound of horror.

  “What’s that in his hand?”

  “Some kind of a blaster, isn’t it?” Truth’s deep voice was grim.

  Far nodded, unable to speak as his younger self climbed back onto the sleeping platform beside his dead pet and contemplated the sleek, silver weapon.

  It seemed much too large for the hands that held it—the intent of that silent silver muzzle too deadly for a young adolescent.

  Far felt the calm despair of his younger self as he lifted the blaster and pressed the barrel to the side of his head.

  “No…oh, no!” Becca gasped. “This can’t be right! He’s—you’re so young. Where would you even get such a thing? How could you think of…of…”

  “Of ending the pain?” Far asked softly, still watching his younger self. “I thought of it a lot, Becca. That was why I stole my adopted father’s blaster in the first place. I never really thought I would use it but after losing Blix…” He shook his head. “I just wanted out.”

  “We have to stop this!” Becca exclaimed. “Hey, Far—stop!” she shouted at his younger self. The boy made no sound that he had heard her. “I…I want to go to him,” she gasped, struggling as though against unseen hands. “But I can’t.”

  “I can.” Truth rushed across the room and knelt before the sleeping platform. He was almost at eye level with the younger Far now and though it was clear the boy couldn’t hear him, he spoke anyway. “Don’t do this,” he said earnestly. “Stop now, Far. There is much to live for—much to see and do and find. You have…” He cleared his throat, his voice hoarse with emotion. “You have to find Rebecca. And you have to find me.” He put a hand on the boy’s knee. “Come and find me, Brother. Whether I know it or not, I’ll be waiting for you.”

  Far felt his heart thud painfully as he watched the scene before him. How he had longed to hear such words from his estranged brother! He had never believed that Truth would admit to caring for him. Could it be that his dark twin was finally ready to have some kind of relationship? Or was he just reacting to the scene in front of him? To the pain and despair in the younger Far’s face—the pain and despair he could still feel, even all these years later?

  The unseen force holding Becca seemed to break and she rushed forward as well and gathered the boy into her arms.

  “Oh, Far,” she murmured. “Oh, baby, stop and think about this. Don’t do it. Don’t do it.”

  “I don’t think he can hear us.” Truth was still gazing at the adolescent Far in concern.

  “Then maybe he can feel us. Hug him,” Becca ordered the dark twin. “As tight as you can—try to make him feel it! He needs to know we care. He needs to know we’ll be waiting for him in the future.”

  “It’s just a memory—isn’t it?” But Truth did as he was told, sitting beside the younger Far and putting an arm around his shoulder gingerly. “I’m not much good with this, Brother,” Far heard him say. “I never learned to comfort…or to be comforted. But I want you to know this—you are loved.”

  “You are loved,” Becca repeated earnestly. “Oh, Far, you are loved so much, honey.”

  The young adolescent Far made no sign that he had heard their words but slowly he lowered the blaster. He held it in his lap and looked down at it as a single tear fell to its shiny silver surface.

  “Oh, thank God!” Becca looked ready to cry with relief. She hugged the boy even tighter.

  Far didn’t know if his younger self could feel her or not but strangely enough, he could. He could feel the pressure of her slim arms around his neck as well as Truth’s arm around his shoulders. He could feel…

  Far gave a muffled exclamation of surprise as the bedroom faded and he found himself suddenly in his younger self’s place, being held between Becca and Truth. The three of them were back on the bed, in the staging area where they had started, once again surrounded by the formless gray mist.

  “Far?” Truth looked confused. “What happened? Where are you—the younger you, I mean?”

  “Don’t you understand?” Becca asked, still keeping her arms firmly around Far’s neck. “He’s here—that scared, hurting boy is right here. Inside.” She tapped Far’s chest with her fingers. “Just like the little boy Far comforted still lives in you. And the girl that lost the man she was going to marry lives in me. Those memories are part of us—they made us who we are.”

  “You’re right.” Truth sat back, but kept an arm around Far’s shoulders.

  Far was grateful for the warmth and closeness. He dared to put an arm around his brother. With the other arm, he gathered Becca close.

  “Thank you,” he said hoarsely. “Thank you both. Going through that again was…it was almost more than I could bear.”

  “But was that exactly how it happened?” Truth asked. “Apologies but I do not understand, Brother. What stopped you when you were about to use the blaster?”

  Far shook his head. “I don’t know. I just remember that the feeling of hopelessness somehow lightened and I somehow decided not to pull the trigger.” He shrugged. “I put the blaster back in my father’s storage unit and never took it out again. Instead, I started trying to learn more about the attack on our parents’ ship the night we were born.” He looked at Truth. “I guess that was when I started my search for you in earnest, Brother. Though I didn’t find you for years to come, I never completely lost hope again.”

  “Do you think you felt us?” Becca asked, her eyes wide. “Is it possible that this…” She gestured with one hand to the formless gray mist surrounding them. “All this that the Mindscape showed us really happened? That we weren’t just seeing memories?”

  Truth frowned. “I don’t know. Before we all relived these bad times, I would have sworn that the night we witnessed in my old home was the worst beating my father ever gave me. Now I seem to have another memory—one of a tall man with blond hair who made him stop and…” He cleared his throat. “And comforted me after.” He shook his head. “I don’t know what happened to your shirt though, Brother.”

  “Lost in the mists of time, perhaps,” Far said. He looked around. “So, is the tutorial over? Did we pass?”

  “We’re still here, aren’t we?” Truth growled. “If the tanks had dissolved us, don’t you think
we would be gone by now?”

  “I suppose…” Far shook his head. “It’s all very confusing.”

  “No, it’s not,” Becca said suddenly. She pulled out of their three way embrace and got off the bed to stand there, facing them. “It’s not confusing at all—in fact, I think I finally understand.”

  Chapter Twenty-nine

  “Understand what?” Far and Truth asked as one. They were still sitting side by side, their arms loosely draped around each other’s shoulders. Becca could see the tension in the dark twin’s body but he hadn’t pulled away when she left the bed. It made Becca glad—after the pain Far had just witnessed and felt through his younger self, he needed his brother close.

  “I understand what we need to get out of here,” Becca said. “We need unity. Look,” she continued, seeing their confused looks. “Remember before when we were…were touching each other before? I mean, here on the bed…you know…” She could feel her cheeks getting hot but the twins simply nodded.

  “We know,” Far said gently. “We did it to raise power in order to make projections.”

  “But what if it wasn’t power we were getting from our, uh, contact at all?” Becca asked. “What if what made us able to project, not because we were more powerful or energized or whatever, but because we were more unified? Think about it, that weird airline hostess voice kept talking about the OneMind. We didn’t know what it meant but maybe…”

  “It meant the merging of all our minds,” Far said, nodding.

  “The convergence of all our thoughts and desires.” Truth sounded thoughtful.

  “Exactly!” Becca said excitedly. “And how do we get closer mentally?”

  The twins look at each other and then back at her.

  “I think we know, mi’now,” Far said quietly. “But we’d like to hear you say it.”

  Truth nodded. “Yes.”

  Becca took a deep breath. “The way we get closer mentally is by having empathy and love for each other. Caring about the pain the others have gone through and sharing it to ease the load. But that’s not enough.”

  Truth raised an eyebrow at her. “And what else do you think is needed, Rebecca?”

  Becca gathered her courage. “This.”

  She stepped forward and put one knee on the bed, right between Truth and Far. She slipped one arm around Far’s neck and the other around Truth’s. Slowly and deliberately, she kissed each of them in turn—first the light twin and then the dark. When she pulled back, both sets of eyes were on her, Far’s filled with need and uncertainty and Truth’s with desire.

  “Becca?” Far asked, making her name into a question.

  “We need to get closer physically in order to get closer mentally,” Becca said. Truth frowned. “You’re saying in order for us to merge our minds, we need to merge our bodies?”

  Becca felt like each separate heartbeat was shaking her body and her cheeks were hot with shame and desire. Deep inside, she could hear a little voice—the voice of guilt and fear—saying that she shouldn’t do this. That she would lose one or both of the men she loved if she gave in to the raging fire sweeping through her—if she gave in to lust.

  But if I don’t give in, we’ll never get out of here! We have to do this—I’m right. I know I’m right! she argued. And besides, none of this is real. We’re all still trapped in the Mindscape. No matter what we do, we’re not really touching.

  The comforting thought gave her the courage to nod her head.

  “Yes,” she said softly. “I’m saying we have to bond. Not as in bonding sex,” she went on quickly, seeing the uncertainty in the dark twin’s face. “I don’t know that we’re ready for that yet. But we have to get closer if we’re going to find the way out of here. And this…seems like the best way. The only way. Do the two of you agree?”

  Far’s black eyes blazed with need but he kept his voice even and low. “You’re saying you’re willing to let us share you, mi’now? Share you sexually?”

  Becca felt a rush of heat go through her. Under the scratchy, patchy sweater she wore, her nipples tingled and between her legs, her pussy throbbed.

  “Yes,” she whispered. “If…if you want to, I mean.”

  “And if we agree?” Truth asked, his deep voice a growl. “How far are you willing to go? How much do you want to give us, Rebecca?”

  “I…I don’t exactly know.” Becca’s breath was coming fast and the weird fabric of the clothes her men had projected for her felt too tight and irritating suddenly. “Maybe…maybe we should just start, um, touching each other and see…see where it leads.”

  “Agreed.” Truth slid one large, warm hand under her sweater and cupped her right breast.

  Becca moaned and jumped a little but didn’t pull back. In fact, she pressed forward, rubbing the hard point of her nipple against the dark twin’s palm. Then she looked at Far.

  “Do…do you want to…?” She couldn’t finish the sentence but she didn’t need to. The light twin was already sliding a hand up her sweater to cup her other breast. He thumbed her nipple gently, watching her reaction with hungry eyes.

  “Such full, lovely breasts,” he murmured and looked at Truth. “I think I want to taste them again. Do you agree, Brother?”

  “Gods, yes,” Truth growled. He looked at Becca. “If our lady would allow it.”

  “Go…go on,” Becca murmured breathlessly. “Do what you want. Anything you want.”

  “Anything?” Truth raised an eyebrow again as he and Far lifted the scratchy sweater over her head in a mutual effort. “That’s a dangerous offer to make, Rebecca.”

  “I know.” Becca lifted her chin. “But…but I’m not afraid. After what the three of us just went through together, I know you—the two of you—care for me the same way I care for you. I know you’ll be gentle with me.”

  “Of course.” Far rubbed his rough cheeks gently against the slopes of her breasts. “We would never hurt you, mi’now.”

  “Agreed,” Truth rumbled and sucked her right nipple into his mouth.

  Becca gasped at the sudden, sweet shock of pleasure. And then Far did the same with her left nipple and all she could do was arch her back and let the two of them suck her.

  It felt incredible. The hot, wet suction of two large, male mouths on her sensitive buds at once. The feel of two sets of big, warm hands roving over her body, sliding around her waist, caressing her hips, sliding her trousers off…

  Becca gave a little gasp when she realized that she was now completely naked. She hadn’t been wearing panties or a bra under the strange outfit the twins had projected for her but now to find herself completely naked was both frightening and strangely freeing at the same time.

  At least I’m not cold this time, she thought hazily. Apparently having her men touch her at the same time warmed her right up.

  Far released her left nipple with a final, soft, sucking kiss and looked up at her.

  “So beautiful, mi’now,” he murmured softly, caressing her side with one hand. “Tell me, do you like giving yourself to both of us at once? Does it make you wet?”

  Becca bit her lip. “You know it does,” she whispered. “But why don’t you see for yourself?”

  “I don’t want to just see,” Truth growled, looking up at her.

  “Oh…” Becca took a panting little breath. “Well then, feel for yourself,” she said boldly, spreading her thighs a little to bare her pussy for him. She didn’t know how she had gotten so brave but somehow it felt right to offer herself like this, to open herself for her men.

  But Truth shook his head, his gray eyes flashing. “I don’t want to just feel either.”

  “What, Brother?” Far asked in a low voice, looking at his twin. “Tell us what you want to do.”

  Truth frowned, a look of uncertainty on his chiseled face.

  “I know I should not want this but…” He took a deep breath and seemed to come to a decision. “Do you remember, Brother, that you promised to teach me how to pleasure our lady with my mouth???
?

  “Of course,” the light twin drawled. His black eyes were lazy with desire. “So you want to learn to eat pussy? To suck and lick and taste our sweet lady’s cunt until she comes for you—comes all over your face?”

  Mother of God! Becca caught her breath as his hot, dirty words washed over her, filling her mind with all kinds of naughty images.

  “I…” Truth looked uncertain. “Yes, that is exactly what I want though I know I should not. And I do not know….if I should.”

  “What do you think, mi’now?” Far looked up at Becca. “Would you allow me to teach Truth the proper way to bring you pleasure with his tongue? Could you spread your legs and let him taste your sweet pussy?”

  Becca’s heart was pounding and every inch of her skin felt sensitive and exposed. Could she really do this? Could she really lay back and let the dark twin suck and taste and lick her pussy while the light twin told him exactly how to do it?

  She tried to take stock of herself. Here she was, kneeling naked on the bed between two huge warriors, her nipples hard from their sucking, her pussy wet from anticipating their touch. Could she open herself to this new pleasure—something she had never done before, even with Kenneth?

  I told them anything, she reminded herself. Anything at all. And besides, we’re in the Mindscape. It’s not real—it’s okay.

  “Yes,” she heard herself saying. “Yes, please, I…I want you to. If…if you really want to, that is,” she added, looking a little anxiously at Truth.

  “Gods, you have no idea how much I want to,” he growled. “On Pax it is forbidden—the touching of the mouth to the lower parts. But somehow, when I look at you, Rebecca…” He shook his head. “It’s all I can think about. All I want to do.”

  “That’s perfectly natural, Brother,” Far said softly, watching their exchange. “We Kindred like to scent mark our lovers with the glands around our lips and mouths. Tasting our lady’s pussy is the best, most effective way of doing that. Well, other than penetrating her with your cock, that is,” he added.