Divided

  “No, it’s fine.” Becca knelt and rubbed one of the leaves between her fingers. She remembered seeing something like them lining the hammock bed young Truth had slept in when Vashtar had showed them his worst memory. “These are the leaves of the tree we’re in right now?” she asked.

  “The same.” He gestured at the blankets. “The bed coverings were a gift from my ama when I first moved to my own lodge. They are actually meant as a gesture of hospitality for only the very young or the very old but since Truth said you were unused to our weather…”

  “Yes, thank you. They’re lovely.” Becca remembered the ragged bit of cloth the young Truth had been wrapped in and shivered. It would have been awful to climb into that nest of cold, waxy leaves without any blankets at all to keep warm with.

  Thinking of that, made her remember Garron’s words about how Truth had taken blows meant for him. She felt her heart swell when she thought of Truth protecting his younger siblings. No wonder the dark twin had had so much bitterness and pain in his heart! No wonder it had taken him so long to come around to the idea of accepting love from Far and herself!

  But he’s accepted it now, whispered a little voice in her head. The question is, what are you going to do about it? Can you accept it too?

  Again something Garron had said came back to her. “When you have the chance to be with someone you love you must take it quickly, before it can be snatched away.”

  Should she take the chance that she had been offered with Truth and Far? That was the question that nagged at her after she told Garron good night and snuggled down between the two thick blankets.

  Despite her weariness, it took her a long time to fall asleep and when she finally did, her dreams were strange and troubling. She seemed to see a long, strange beast made of scales and feathers. It whipped through the air as sinuous as a snake and had sharp talons and a spiked tail. It’s huge, leonine head had a gaping maw of knife-like teeth and a twisting red tongue. But most disturbing of all were its eyes. When it turned to look at her they were a vivid turquoise blue.

  Sky eyes, Becca thought and woke up with a little cry of confusion and fear.

  “Shh, it’s all right, Rebecca,” someone murmured.

  “Did you have a bad dream, mi’now?” another deep voice asked.

  “Far? Truth?” She looked at them sleepily and yawned. “So glad…you’re back. Yes, really weird dreams.”

  “Forget them and go back to sleep. You’re safe now.”

  The two of them slid into bed beside her—Far on her left and Truth on her right. Becca snuggled between them and, finally feeling safe, allowed herself to drift back into a dreamless sleep.

  Chapter Thirty-six

  “We dug all day. It’s nowhere to be found.” Truth ran a hand through his hair in obvious frustration. It had been a long, frustrating day of digging in vain out in the frigid cold—made possible only by the soil warming equipment Garron had loaned them, since the top layer of soil around the elder tree they were digging under was frozen solid. But no matter how long or how deep they delved, no ancient cache from the long dead Orthanxian civilization had appeared.

  “Are you positive the coordinates you have are correct?” Garron ladled out a steaming bowl of what looked like navy blue chili and handed it to his older brother along with a hunk of coarse grained purple-gray bread. Truth had finally agreed to quit when it got dark and now they were all sitting around the low table in front of the fire eating dinner—or evening fare as the Rai’ku called it.

  “As certain as we can be,” Far said. He dug the curved end of some kind of bone—which was apparently the Rai’ku version of a spoon—into his own bowl of chili and took a big bite. “Mmm, delicious.”

  “Vashtar did say the box might have shifted locations,” Becca pointed out, accepting her own bowl of blue chili from their host. “It has been two thousand years, give or take, since it was buried.”

  “I keep feeling that we are close—very close,” Truth said. “But we’re missing it somehow.”

  “I felt the same thing, Brother,” Far said. “That the cache is somehow eluding us.”

  “I felt that too,” Becca said. “And it’s so frustrating. I can’t help feeling like we’re doing something wrong. It’s like when we were in the Mindscape—or thought we were, anyway—and we were trying to project something to eat and we got cardboard chum pizza and wormy cupcakes.” She sighed.

  “Those don’t sound like very appetizing dishes,” Garron remarked dryly, handing her a piece of bread.

  “Not nearly as good as your cooking.” Becca smiled at him and took a big bite of her purple-gray bread. It reminded her of a cross between cornbread and blueberry cobbler and was by far the best thing she’d had to eat so far on Pax.

  “This is some of the best mebbix stew I’ve ever had,” Truth said, taking another bite. “My compliments, Garron.”

  Their host nodded. “I’m glad you like it. But to get back to your problem, I’m afraid you’re going to have to find whatever it is you’re looking for soon. There has been some…unrest about your digging. The few Kindred who live here are not concerned but some of the Rai’ku are saying that you’re molesting the elder trees.”

  “What? Absolutely not,” Truth declared. “We’ve been very careful to not so much as scratch the bark of the elder tree we’re digging under.”

  “It’s not really the digging they’re upset about, Truth,” Garron said in a low voice. “I’m sure you know that.”

  “Yes, I know.” The dark twin sighed and put down his bowl. “It’s the perversion going on right before them. How is Ama taking it?”

  Garron coughed. “She’s turned her back on you publicly as well as privately now. I’m sorry, Truth, but you can’t very well be surprised about it.”

  “I’m not,” Truth said stoically. “I expected nothing less.” He shook his head. “We’ll just have to try again tomorrow. It must be there somewhere! I know the tree we’re digging under is the one Vashtar meant for us to look at—the coordinates he gave were very exact.”

  “I hope you find it,” Garron said. “I’ll host you for as long as you stay. The laws of hospitality and privacy should protect you as long as you’re under my roof—I hope anyway. But I can’t promise what might happen after you leave my lodge.”

  “We’ll just have to be careful,” Far said grimly. “And fast. We’ll find it tomorrow—we have to.”

  “I hope so,” Becca said anxiously. “I just want to be away from here. No offense, Garron.”

  “None taken,” their host said. “I have often felt the same way myself.”

  “Why not come with us to the Mother Ship?” Truth asked. “I’m certain you’d be welcome. Well—after we cleanse the ship of unwanted demons and secure the Unmated Males area, anyway.”

  Garron shook his head. “Like it or not, my life is here. But thank you for your generous offer.”

  “You might rethink it at some time in the future,” Far said. “There are many Earth females with minds ready to align with those who have Kindred blood.”

  “I thank you but…” Garron cleared his throat. “I’m sure Truth told you something of my past. I don’t…don’t wish to align with anyone.”

  “I understand,” the light twin said quietly. “Just know that the offer is still open if you ever change your mind.”

  “Thank you.” Garron nodded. “Would anyone else like more mebbix stew?”

  “I would love some but I can’t eat another bite.” Becca smiled at him. “Thank you anyway—it was delicious.”

  Truth sighed. “It’s time we were getting to bed anyway. If there really is unrest about the digging, best we get up as early as possible to start again.”

  “A good thought, Brother,” Far said. “If we can find the cache and retrieve the pendant before most people are up, we’ll be on our way back to our shuttle before anyone can get too outraged.”

  “Yes, that’s…a really good idea.” Becca tried to manufacture a yawn
but inside her stomach was filled with butterflies. Neither Truth nor Far had spoken to her about the status of their bond but she was sure that the light twin would have told his brother what he’d heard during her conversation with Kat by now. Would they confront her about it tonight? Would they demand an answer about what she wanted to do about their bond? And what would she say?

  She hung around and helped Garron do the dishes, trying to buy a little time before bed but the simple wooden bowls and bone spoons didn’t take long to wash. Before she knew it, she was back in the guest room with Far and Truth who were already wearing dark blue sleep trousers, apparently ready to sleep.

  “Hello, Becca,” Far said softly when she entered the small guest room. “Ready for bed?”

  “I guess so.” Becca lingered uncertainly in the doorway.

  “Come in,” Truth said a little gruffly. “We do not bite, as you know.”

  “I know. I just…” Becca coughed. “We’ve been too busy to talk today but I guess I was wondering…wondering…”

  “Wondering what?” Far asked.

  “Wondering how we’re going to find the cache,” Becca finished weakly, losing her nerve.

  “Actually, Far and I have some thoughts on that,” Truth said.

  “But we’re not sure how you’ll feel about them,” Far finished for his brother.

  “Okay.” Becca looked from one to the other of them. “So tell me.”

  “Remember you mentioned our problems when trying to create food in the Mindscape?” Truth said.

  “It wasn’t really the Mindscape, though,” Becca protested.

  “No, but Vashtar did tell us that his approximation was completely accurate to the real thing,” Far said.

  “Remember that we had trouble casting any kind of successful projection because our OneMind was scattered,” Truth went on.

  “I guess so.” Becca came forward and sat on the edge of the leaf pallet. “So?”

  “So when was our OneMind the most focused?” Truth looked at her intently. “After we made love.”

  Becca felt a sudden rush of heat travel from the top of her head all the way down to the tips of her toes. Truth was sitting on one side of her and Far was sitting on the other but she found she couldn’t meet either of their eyes.

  “Again, that wasn’t really the Mindscape,” she said in a slightly strangled voice.

  “No, but it still brought us together—it still focused us as one into what Vashtar called the OneMind,” Truth said. “If we can find that focus again—that oneness—I’m certain we can do anything. Including locating the cache.”

  Becca finally forced herself to look up at him.

  “So you thought if we all…all made love again…”

  “It doesn’t have to be like the last time if you’re uncomfortable, Becca,” Far said quickly. “We thought maybe if we just touched each other and concentrated on the location of the cache…pictured it in our minds while we made skin-to-skin contact…”

  “I…um…” Becca didn’t know how to answer. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to touch her men—it was that she did want to. So badly it frightened her.

  All day she had been finding small, subtle ways to be near one or the other of them or to put herself between them without actually getting too close. She told herself she was trying to head off the painful side effects of the partial bond. After all, who wanted to feel like a rusty spike was being driven into their eye?

  But the truth was she simply craved them—wanted to be near them, touching and being touched by them. Wanted to be between her men, which was the most dangerous place of all if she didn’t intend to complete the bond.

  “Does the idea make you uncomfortable?” Truth asked, breaking into her confused thoughts.

  “I…a little,” Becca admitted in a low voice.

  “Why?” the dark twin asked. “Because you’re thinking of breaking our bond?”

  Becca’s head jerked up. “I never…I don’t…” But she couldn’t go on—she didn’t know what to say.

  “I need to know how you feel, Rebecca,” Truth said sternly. “We both do. You brought Far and I together and now that our Twin bond is complete we could probably survive a break with you…”

  “But we don’t want to,” Far finished for him softly. “We don’t want any other female in the whole universe, mi’now. You are the one Truth and I love. You’re the one we want to share and care for and cherish all the rest of our days.”

  “I know that.” Becca bit her lip. “And I feel the same way. But…”

  “But what?” Far asked gently. “You’re afraid of what your family will say?”

  Becca looked down, ashamed. “That’s part of it, even though I feel awful admitting it after the way Truth stood up to his family.”

  “It was a very difficult thing to do,” the dark twin said. “I would not presume to make that decision for anyone else.”

  “It’s not just that,” Becca said desperately. “It’s what happened to Kenneth. I know it’s not rational but part of me is so scared that if we do this—if I let myself bond with you completely—that I’ll lose you. I can’t…” Her eyes stung and the words seemed to stick in her throat. “I can’t lose you like that. I…I love you both too much. It would kill me.”

  “Oh, mi’now,” Far murmured, stroking her hair. “That’s not going to happen.”

  “We’re going to stay right here with you,” Truth promised, putting a large, warm hand on the small of her back. “We swear it.”

  “I want to believe that—I truly do,” Becca whispered. “But I just…it’s hard. Really hard.”

  “Of course it is,” Truth said firmly. “Which is why we are not going to ask you to complete our bond tonight.”

  “Y-you’re not?” Becca looked up at both of them with wet eyes. “Really? But I thought…”

  “This is a big decision,” Far said. “Too big to make until you feel completely ready.”

  “Tonight we simply want to hold you between us and try to locate the cache,” Truth murmured.

  “We can talk about the future once we’re back on the Mother Ship,” Far said, smiling. “What do you say, Becca? Will you let us hold you?”

  “You slept between us last night with no ill effects,” Truth pointed out.

  Yes, but that was because I was already asleep by the time you two got into bed, Becca thought but didn’t say. Should she give in and lay down between them, allowing herself to be bracketed by the two big, male bodies once more? She wanted to more than anything but it still felt dangerous…as though once started down this road, she wouldn’t be able to turn from it no matter what the consequences might be.

  “I want to,” she said hesitantly. “But…I’m afraid. Afraid we’ll go too far.”

  “You don’t have to be naked for us to locate the cache,” Truth pointed out. “Far and I are both wearing clothing as you can see.” He indicated the thin, silky sleep trousers he and the light twin both wore. There was still plenty of bare skin on display since they were both shirtless but at least the “dangerous” parts were covered.

  “I guess you’re right,” Becca said reluctantly. She tried to think of what she could wear that would offer some coverage and yet still give enough skin-to-skin contact with her men for them to find their OneMind and locate the cache. Picking up the small purple cube Kat had packed for her, she went through the miniaturized clothes that looked like they would fit on a Barbie doll. No…no…no…Kat, did you pack me anything that wasn’t see-through or made of lace?

  Finally she found something she’d completely forgotten about—something that made her laugh.

  “What’s funny?” Far wanted to know.

  “You’ll see.” Becca got out the regrowth serum which brought the clothing back to normal size and made a motion to both men. “Turn around now. Give me a minute to change.”

  “As our lady wishes,” Truth growled, turning to give her his broad back. Far turned as well without comment.

&nb
sp; Becca added a few drops of serum and waited until her chosen garments had grown to the proper size. Then she took off the long sleeved sweater dress she had been wearing all day for warmth, as well as her bra and underwear, and slipped into the change quickly.

  “All right, boys, you can turn around,” she said at last.

  Both men turned as one. Far let out a low whistle and Truth growled in approval.

  “I don’t know what in the Seven Hells you’re wearing but I like it—a lot,” he said.

  “I agree.” Far’s black eyes roved over her body appreciatively. “What is it, mi’now? I’ve never seen an Earth garment quite like it.”

  Becca smiled and looked down at herself. “Kat called it a ‘fur bikini.’ It was actually supposed to be kind of a joke—something we thought up when we were trying to decide what to bring that would be warm enough for Orthanx. I never thought I’d actually get to wear it.”

  “It’s beautiful,” Far murmured admiringly. “I love the white fur against your creamy brown skin.”

  “You’re fucking gorgeous in it,” Truth said. “Does it feel as soft as it looks?”

  Becca bit her lip as a naughty impulse swept through her. Actually, the fur bikini was as soft as it looked—or even softer. The fur it was made of reminded her of a mink coat she’d touched once in a high end department store and though most of it was on the outside of the bikini, there was enough lining the bra and panties to feel warm and fuzzy against her most sensitive areas. The stimulation against her overheated nipples and pussy and the urging of the partial bond she shared with her men was suddenly too much to deny.

  “Is it as soft as it looks?” she repeated, sitting up on her heels and thrusting her breasts out. “Well…why don’t you feel it and find out?”

  Truth frowned. “Are you sure? I thought you didn’t wish our touching to be sexual tonight.”