Zom-B Clans

  Jakob frowns and thinks about that. Then he grimaces. “I have cancer. It was eating me away when I was alive. It stalled when I became a zombie, but it’s still inside me. I can never cut it out. It’s part of me. It hurts all the time. But I’ve learned to adapt. I carry the pain around, I contain it, I control it.

  “We all have weaknesses,” he continues. “Life’s a struggle for everyone. We can only overcome our flaws if we train ourselves to live with them.” Jakob steps back and lowers his head. “That’s all I have to say. My apologies if I’ve spoken out of turn.”

  I’m half expecting a round of applause, but the silence holds. People are staring at Jakob and I doubt that most of them entirely know what to think.

  Biddy Barry breaks the spell by shouting gruffly, “Another show of hands. Who wants to keep them here and carry on as we were before?”

  After a nervous pause, hands start going up, isolated at first, then a flood of them. It’s not as big a majority as the pro-exile voters had a few minutes earlier, but it is a majority.

  “Seems like we’ve had a change of heart,” Biddy chuckles. Her eyes narrow and she studies Jakob intently. “But, as mayor of this lice-ridden hellhole of a town, I’m attaching a condition. If it isn’t met, I’ll push ahead with our original plan to exile the whole sorry lot of them.”

  “What sort of a condition?” Jakob asks.

  “I want you to stay and serve as my deputy mayor,” Biddy says, and if Jakob was capable of fainting with shock, he’d be out cold.

  NINE

  “What are you talking about?” Jakob splutters. He’s not the only one who looks bewildered. The rest of us are also staring at Biddy Barry as if she’s had a sudden mental breakdown.

  “I want you to be my number two,” she says pleasantly, as if it’s no big thing.

  “You’ve got to be joking,” Jakob says. “I don’t live here.”

  “You can move.”

  “But I’m a zombie,” he reminds her.

  “That’s kind of obvious,” she snorts.

  “You don’t let zombies stay here. We’re dangerous. We could infect one of you, maybe set off a chain reaction that would wipe out the town.”

  Biddy shrugs. “What’s life without a hint of danger to spice things up?” As Jakob gapes at her, she faces the survivors of New Kirkham. “I’m shocked and sickened by what happened today. I thought we’d put the old hatreds and fears behind us. I didn’t think anyone could be worried about color or religion at a time like this.

  “I was wrong, and it’s not often you’ll hear me admitting that.” There are some rueful chuckles. “We need to protect ourselves against those who would drag us back to the barbaric ways of the past. We’re all equal here in New Kirkham–at least that’s how I see it–and we have to make sure we keep sight of that.”

  “How will taking in a zombie help us?” someone asks, glaring at Jakob.

  “It will remind us that we can never afford to be prejudiced,” Biddy replies. “I don’t know about you, but I’m mortified that it took one of the undead to help us find mercy in ourselves. I assumed I was morally superior to every type of zombie, but how wrong was I?” She points at Jakob and the rest of us. “When our lives were on the line, they risked all to help. They knew we mistrusted and disliked them, but that didn’t deter them.

  “I never thought of myself as being a racist,” Biddy sighs. “But I see now that I was. I hated zombies, and that’s no different than those creeps dangling above us. They hated blacks, Asians, Muslims. Ultimately it boils down to the same thing—hatred of those who aren’t the same as us.”

  “It’s not the same thing at all,” an Asian woman growls. “I’ve had to deal with hatemongers all my life. But I do deal with them. You can work around a racist, turn a blind eye to their insults, strike out if they push things too far. You can’t do that with a zombie. If a racist hits me, I can hit back. But one scratch from that guy and I’m damned.”

  “So we’ll tread carefully around him,” Biddy says. “It’ll be good for us. It will drive home the fact that we need to be on our guard all the time, that we can’t sail through life without paying attention to those around us.

  “I can’t force this on you,” Biddy tells the crowd. “This is a democracy. If you’re not with me, you can vote me out. But if you want me to stay on as mayor, you’ll have to accept… hell, I don’t even know his name.” She raises an eyebrow at Jakob.

  “Jakob Pegg,” he says weakly.

  “If you want me, Jakob’s part of the package,” Biddy declares. “I’ve always governed as I see fit, regardless of whether my policies are popular or not. That’s paid off so far, so I’m hoping you’ll trust me on this one too. We need this guy to keep us on the straight and narrow, to remind us why we put up with the suffering and fighting and fear, to help keep the bigots and racists at bay.

  “Show of hands again,” Biddy booms. “You’re either for me or against me. If it’s the latter, I’ll step aside without a word of complaint and leave New Kirkham, because it won’t be the sort of place where I want to live. If we’re going to restart society, we might as well try to do it the right way.

  “If you want me to stay, and if you’re prepared to accept Jakob Pegg as my deputy, stick your hand in the air to show that you care.”

  Nobody responds for a few seconds. They stare at Biddy, then at each other, not sure what to make of her startling ultimatum. Then a couple of hands go up. A few more. Then a wave of them, at least three-quarters of the people assembled, not just those who fought the KKK, but the neutrals too.

  “That’s what I like to see,” Biddy chuckles. “People with their heads screwed on. So, zombie boy, it looks like you don’t have a choice.”

  “I could refuse,” Jakob says quietly. “Just leave with the others and return to London.”

  “You could,” Biddy nods. “But if I’m any judge, based on that speech you gave, you won’t.”

  Jakob licks his lips–old habits die hard–then looks to the rest of us to see what we think.

  “No point running this by us,” Carl smiles. “This is way over our heads.”

  “What will Dr. Oystein think if I don’t return?” Jakob asks.

  “He’ll be glad to be rid of your cancer-ridden carcass,” Rage snorts.

  “Ignore the big idiot,” I growl, elbowing Rage in the ribs. “The doc won’t mind. He’ll understand when we tell him how it happened.”

  “I think he will be proud of you,” Ashtat says. “I know that I certainly am.”

  “But don’t feel under any pressure,” I add. “You don’t owe them. If you don’t want to do this, feel free to turn them down.”

  “You don’t think the doc will see this as a dereliction of duty?” Jakob asks. “There are so many battles to be fought…”

  “Yeah,” Shane grunts, “but he’s always said that we’re fighting for people like this. If we get the better of Mr. Dowling, we’ll hand power back to the living and let them rule the world again. I think the doc will be delighted if you help these guys hang on in there, so that they can take over from us once we’re done kicking arse.”

  “That was almost poetical,” I murmur.

  “Thanks,” Shane grins.

  “Almost.”

  He shoots me the finger and laughs.

  Jakob thinks about it some more. “I’ll miss you guys if I stay,” he whispers.

  “We will miss you too,” Ashtat says, and the rest of us mutter similar things, except for Rage, who rolls his eyes and makes a gagging gesture.

  “We’ll see you when we bring newcomers,” Pearse says.

  “We’ll keep you up-to-date,” Conall promises. “Tell you everything that’s going on back in County Hall.”

  “And you can always leave if you get sick of it here,” Carl notes. “You’re not signing up for life.” He chuckles. “You’re dead, so you can’t.”

  Jakob nods slowly, then faces Biddy Barry again. “In that case there’s a condition of
my own that you’ll have to meet.”

  “Fire away,” Biddy scowls, not sure what to expect.

  With a straight face, Jakob says, “I’ll only do it if I get a badge. I was a big fan of Westerns when I was alive, and I’ve always wanted a deputy sheriff’s star.”

  TEN

  We retire to a quiet corner of the square for the night, leaving Jakob and the humans to deal with the dead and start the job of getting their town back in order. The neutrals who have been spared exile slot sheepishly into place, parents like Emma gratefully reuniting with their children before wiping their tears away and buckling down to try to make good.

  Shortly before eleven, Dan-Dan yawns. “I never was much of a night bird,” he says. “And we have a big day ahead of us. So I’ll wish you all sweet dreams.” He blows us a kiss, rolls over and is asleep within minutes.

  “That guy’s unbelievable,” Shane laughs. “You’ve got to admire his guts. It’s like he doesn’t care that we’re zombies.”

  “He’d care if he woke up to find us tickling him,” I snarl.

  We pass the time resting and chatting. I feel agitated after the battle for New Kirkham, but I calm down as the hours slip by. I keep reminding myself that we did a good thing today, saved many lives, wrestled control of the town back from the Ku Klux Klan. It doesn’t feel like a real victory because I failed to rescue Vinyl and the others who were being held in the trucks that got away, but this is definitely one for our side. Hundreds of people are free tonight because we fought for what was right.

  Jakob comes to see us shortly before dawn. He still looks dazed.

  “Should we bow, Your Worship?” Rage smirks.

  “If you like,” Jakob says with a thin smile, then sinks down next to us and shakes his head. “I can’t believe I let her talk me into this. It’s madness. They’ll never accept me as one of their own. I should sneak out with you guys.”

  “Dr. Oystein would not like that,” Ashtat says. “This is the first time that one of us has made a bridge of this sort. It could be the start of a new relationship between us and them. If things work out, maybe other communities will see the benefit of having an Angel on their team. This could help draw the living and the undead closer together.”

  “Or it could backfire and drive us even further apart,” Rage chortles. “I’m glad I’m not in your shoes.”

  “As supportive and sympathetic as always,” Jakob murmurs, then smiles at the rest of us. “I meant what I said earlier. I’ll miss you. You’ve been my family since I found my way to County Hall. Things won’t be the same without you.”

  “Are you going to be okay by yourself?” Pearse asks.

  “One of us can stay with you if you want,” Conall says.

  “Thanks, but I’ll be fine,” Jakob says. “They were going to send the brains from the corpses back with you guys, but you need to move swiftly, and such a load would slow you down, so they’re going to freeze and store most of them here for the time being, meaning I won’t go hungry.”

  “Maybe you will fatten up now,” Ashtat grins. Jakob doesn’t have to reply. He knows she’s joking. None of us can ever bulk up or slim down. Those days are long behind us.

  “Is there anything you want us to bring the next time we come?” Pearse asks.

  “No,” Jakob says. “Nothing there really mattered to me. Except you lot.”

  “Pass me the barf bag,” Rage groans, but we ignore him.

  We spend a pleasant hour talking with Jakob, the world growing lighter around us, then get ready to depart. Before we set off, we have an unexpected visitor. Shy Declan comes creeping forward. He’s holding something behind his back.

  “Hi, little guy,” I mutter, smiling awkwardly when he stops in front of me. I look for his mother and spot her lurking in the shadows of a house across the square. I wave to her, but she draws farther back into the shade. I figure she’s too ashamed to face us in person, even though I don’t think that she should be.

  Declan produces his surprise. It’s my Australian hat. I cast it aside before we went into battle yesterday.

  “How did you find that?” I yelp with delight. I start to reach for it, then remember that I have to be careful. “Can you place it on the ground, please?”

  Declan does as I ask, then takes a step back, giving me room to safely pick up the hat. I settle it on my head and grin at the others. “How do I look?”

  “Like the world’s dumbest explorer,” Rage huffs.

  “Bite me,” I laugh. “I love this hat. I’ve had it since before I came to County Hall. Thank you, Declan. This means a lot to me.”

  Declan nods, beaming, and turns to rejoin his mother. Then he looks back at us. His eyes are solemn as he gulps and says in a soft, creaky voice, “Thanks.”

  As I stare at him with a lump in my throat, he smiles quickly, then races over to where Emma is waiting.

  “A cute kid,” Pearse says.

  “Yeah,” I whisper. Then, scowling at myself for being a sap, I slip back into my normal mode and shout at the sleeping creep behind us. “Hey! Child Catcher! Wakey-wakey!”

  Dan-Dan rolls towards us and opens an eye. “Morning already? Time slips by so fast.” He stands, stretches, then undoes his fly and pees in open view of us all.

  “Gross!” Carl gags. “That’s not something I need to see this early in the day,” he mutters.

  “You are disgusting,” Ashtat snarls, turning her back on him.

  “Ah,” Rage says nostalgically. “That brings back happy memories. I miss my first whizz of the day.”

  “What?” Dan-Dan smirks as he tucks himself away. “It’s not like anyone who matters is present. I don’t care what I do in front of a pack of walking corpses.”

  “Come on,” Pearse says. “We’ve a long way to go, a lot of ground to cover. Let’s not waste any more time. Unless you plan to follow that up with a poo?”

  Dan-Dan blinks. “Hardly. Some acts are never to be shared, even with the undead.” Then he catches sight of someone passing and shouts out, “Mayor Barry! A moment of your time, please.”

  Biddy Barry stops and waits for Dan-Dan to waddle over to her. “What do you want, worm?”

  “We found ourselves in a heated situation yesterday,” Dan-Dan simpers. “Harsh words were exchanged. I wanted to have a quick discussion now that everyone has calmed down.”

  “I’m not in a discussing mood,” Biddy rumbles. “If you’ve something to say, spit it out quick.”

  “Very well,” Dan-Dan says cheerfully. “You know who I am.”

  “A child-killing creep,” Biddy grunts.

  “An incredibly powerful, influential child-killing creep,” Dan-Dan corrects her with a smug chuckle. “I’ve no heartfelt interest in the Ku Klux Klan. I was using them because they could deliver the children I required. It doesn’t bother me in the slightest that you’ve hanged so many of them. In fact, I admire the no-nonsense way you people went about your work.”

  “Thanks,” Biddy says with mock sweetness. “That means so much to me.”

  “What I’m trying to say,” Dan-Dan murmurs, “is we don’t have to be enemies. We could do business together.”

  “What sort of business?” Biddy frowns.

  “For a start, I could return your people, the ones who were taken.”

  “They’ll be sent back to us anyway when the Angels deliver you to your allies,” Biddy notes.

  “Maybe, maybe not,” Dan-Dan replies. “Owl Man said he would try to arrange for their release, but he was in no position to make such a guarantee. I, on the other hand, am in that position. If you agree to a deal with me, I’ll have them sent back in perfect health, along with any supplies that you might be in the market for.”

  Biddy’s eyes narrow. “That’s a generous offer, Lord Wood. What would we have to do for you in return?”

  “Grant me safe passage home,” Dan-Dan says, then nods at us. “And serve me up their heads on several nicely sharpened sticks. That’s all I ask. Everything else will
be forgotten and forgiven.”

  Biddy chews her lower lip, thinking it over. Then she looks past Dan-Dan. “Deputy Pegg? What’s your take on this?”

  “I think we should ram his offer up his arse,” Jakob roars.

  “Your position has been duly noted.” Biddy faces Dan-Dan again. “Get stuffed, scumbag,” she says, and walks away briskly.

  “Now there’s a woman with style,” Dan-Dan chortles, not in the least offended. “I knew it was a long shot, but nothing ventured, nothing gained. Shall we head off then, my little undead retinue, or is there time for brekkie before we set sail?”

  “Eat this, fat boy,” I growl, giving him the finger. Then we bid Jakob a final farewell, wish him luck, crawl down into a tunnel that has been sanctioned for our use, and set off on the long trek home.

  ELEVEN

  We pick up the pace heading back to London, mindful of the deadline. We should have plenty of time to return to County Hall, then head over to wherever Owl Man is and swap the child-killer for the prisoners, but there’s always a risk we might get delayed along the way.

  I expect the chubby lord to struggle to keep up with us, but to my surprise he’s very sprightly, marching along, whistling softly and trying to make small talk.

  “Keep it quiet, fatso,” I growl at him at one point. “You’ll draw zombies down on us.”

  “I trust you to defend me if that happens,” Dan-Dan smiles, then carries on whistling the same as before. He clearly thinks he has a charmed life.

  The sickening thing is that the creep does seem to have been blessed with good luck. We’re targeted by a trickle of zombies over the course of the day, but we never come under serious threat. They’re always in small groups and easy to deal with. Dan-Dan even whips out his smartphone a few times to take pictures. He might not be able to get a signal these days, but the camera still functions.

  “Smile for me, B,” he sings as I wrestle with a zombie twice my size.