Zom-B Clans

  I almost set the zombie loose and sic it on the would-be sailor. Then I think of Vinyl and the other humans and hold tight.

  Dan-Dan spends a lot of the time slyly trying to bribe us. He offers us riches and privileges, luxury villas on zombie-free islands, all the fresh brains we could ask for. We ignore him, except for Rage, who pretends to be interested. At least I hope he’s just pretending!

  We hit the suburbs of London late in the evening. If we were by ourselves, we’d push on, but the zombies will be emerging in their multitudes soon. Suburbia is dangerous for one of the living at the best of times–the attacks have picked up sharply over the last hour–and it would be suicide to parade around with Dan-Dan once the sun has set.

  Pearse and Conall scout out a few houses until they find one that’s free of zombies and relatively easy to defend. It also offers an escape option via the roof, though if we have to flee with Dan-Dan in the dark, when the streets are awash with zombies, escape will probably only offer him a temporary respite. Even lucky buggers like him have their limits.

  Dan-Dan knows this is serious. He quits whistling, settles down in a room with no windows and munches quietly on an energy bar—he has a stash of them stored in various pockets.

  “Not so lively now, are you?” I murmur wickedly as he eats.

  Dan-Dan shrugs. “I’m not a fool,” he whispers. “I know when to turn the volume down.”

  Once the house has been secured, Rage sniffs and says, “I’m off.”

  “Where are you going?” Shane asks.

  “To see a man about a horse,” Rage deadpans.

  “This doesn’t have anything to do with Dan-Dan’s offers, does it?” I growl, worried that Rage might be heading out to bring back help for the child-killer.

  “Give me some credit,” Rage snaps. “I’m a cynical sod, and proud of it, but I’m not that cynical. Cut a deal with the murderous likes of Daniel Wood? Hardly.”

  “So where are you going?” I press.

  “There’s something I’m curious about. A little mystery I want to solve. I would have dealt with it before this if we hadn’t been sent off on a mission. Now that I’ve got some free time on my hands, this seems as good an opportunity as any.”

  “But we are still on the mission,” Ashtat notes. “We will need you if zombies attack.”

  “Nah,” Rage laughs. “I won’t make much of a difference if that happens. Besides, I’m kind of hoping they do attack. You should all sneak off if they do, leave Dan-Dan on his own, see how smug he is then.”

  “I really think you should stay,” Carl says stiffly.

  “Tough,” Rage sniffs. “Don’t worry, I’ll be back before you leave in the morning, ready to pitch in and help when needed. If you want to rat me out to Dr. Oystein when we get home, feel free.”

  And with that he’s off.

  The rest of us stare at one another, troubled, but since there’s nothing we can do about it, we close the door after him and return to the room where Dan-Dan has holed up, to serve as his reluctant guards for the night.

  Dan-Dan spends the next few hours dangling more bribes in front of us. I don’t think he expects us to accept, and we could tell him to shut up, but we’re amused by what he comes up with and the way he tries to sell himself. Dan-Dan is smooth as silk. I have to keep reminding myself that he’s a vile piece of filth in order to stop myself from starting to like the guy.

  Finally, shortly after ten, Dan-Dan yawns and calls it a night. “Think about what we’ve been discussing,” he purrs. “If you change your minds, let me know in the morning and we can thrash out a deal.”

  “Don’t you want us to wake you with the news?” I smile.

  “Heavens, no,” Dan-Dan says. “A good night’s sleep is sacrosanct. I’ve had people shot for disturbing my slumber.”

  He settles down and is snoring lightly moments later.

  “I hate him,” Ashtat says softly, “but I can see why he got away with his crimes for so long. As well as being rich, he could charm even the gruffest of people.”

  “Yeah,” I nod. “I bet he’s sweet-talked his way out of all sorts of jams in his time.”

  “The islands sound nice,” Shane reflects.

  “You’re not seriously considering his offers?” I hiss.

  “Of course not,” he growls. “I’m just saying I like the sound of the islands. Maybe we could check them out ourselves when this is over.”

  “Yeah,” Carl says. “There’ll be all the time in the world for sightseeing once we’re done with Mr. Dowling. I’d love to visit the Seychelles again. It’s been too long.”

  “Good luck getting a suntan now!” Shane says, and we all laugh, but quietly, so as not to alert any passing monsters outside.

  Rage returns about an hour before dawn. He’s got a face like a slapped arse and his hands are trembling.

  “What’s up?” I ask as he lets himself into the room and slumps in a corner, looking like a gambler who lost everything at the races.

  “Shut it,” he says.

  “Did you try to woo a zombie?” I simper. “Did she turn you down?”

  Rage stares at me as if he’s thinking of killing me. I don’t wilt. I know from experience that you can never show fear in front of a bully.

  “What’s wrong?” Shane asks quietly, concerned about his friend.

  “Nothing,” Rage snaps. Then he forces a weak smile. “I just found out tonight that I was right never to believe in the goodness of man. We’re all a bunch of skunks when you strip away the trimmings, every stinking last one of us. I’ve always known the world was peppered with bastards like Dan-Dan, but I thought they were balanced out by decent, well-meaning people. I was a fool. We’re all as worthless as that snoring killer, every single one of us.”

  “You’re in a cheerful mood,” Carl snorts.

  “Yeah, well,” Rage drawls, leaning back against the wall to stare at the ceiling. And he doesn’t say anything else after that.

  We rise an hour later, as the sun is starting to come up. Dan-Dan slips off to the bathroom to do his business–“Time for a number two,” he cheerfully informs us–and comes out with his nose pinched shut. “Quick,” he croaks. “Let’s get the hell out of here. If that stench doesn’t attract the undead hordes, I don’t know what will.”

  We head off in high spirits, except for the glowering Rage, as if the slaughter we’d witnessed in New Kirkham was months ago instead of just hours behind us. It’s nice to be closing in on home. We haven’t been away very long, but it feels like weeks. I’m looking forward to catching up with the others, resting in my own bed, tucking into Ciara’s cranial stew. Of course there’s still Vinyl and his fellow captives to worry about, but I put thoughts of them to one side for the time being and focus on all the joys of County Hall.

  Attacks come more regularly than yesterday and we’re kept busy saving Dan-Dan’s rotten neck. He’s not as chirpy today. Marching through the middle of London is a different proposition from tramping through the countryside. Zombies can attack at any moment, from the shadows of any building. We’re on constant alert, no room for error.

  Despite the frequency of the assaults, our luck holds and we advance without casualty through the suburbs then the parks of central London. After a swift dash through Westminster Square, we catch sight of the stunning County Hall building. Excited, we jog across Westminster Bridge and are soon being welcomed back by our fellow Angels. They’re delighted to see us, curious about Dan-Dan, anxious when they note Jakob’s absence. We assure them that everything’s fine, promise to fill them in on all the details later, then ask if Dr. Oystein is around. They tell us he’s in his laboratory and we make a beeline for it.

  The doc spots us through the glass of the lab door and hurries out into the courtyard to greet us. He’s smiling warmly, arms spread wide. Then he spots Dan-Dan and draws to a halt. Nobody says anything for a moment while we wait for Dr. Oystein to compose himself.

  “It is good to see you again, my Angels,?
?? he murmurs. “But I must admit I am surprised by the company you are keeping.”

  “This is–” I begin to tell him.

  “–Lord Daniel Wood,” Dr. Oystein cuts in. “I recognize him from pictures I’ve seen in the past, but even without them I would have known him from your accurate description after your stay on the Belfast. I see that his penchant for naval outfits remains.”

  “You can’t go wrong with a good sailor’s costume,” Dan-Dan smirks, then adds, “I know you too. I’ve heard many tales about the fabulous Dr. Oystein. Our owl-eyed friend is full of them.”

  “You consort with him now?” Dr. Oystein asks coldly.

  “Oh yes. We’re the best of friends.”

  The doc mulls that over, then looks around and frowns. “Jakob is not with you. Is he…?”

  “Don’t worry, he’s fine,” I tell him.

  “He’s become the deputy mayor of New Kirkham,” Shane says, and the doc stares at us uncertainly. “Honestly. I’m not kidding.”

  “It sounds as if you have had a most unusual adventure,” the doc mutters.

  “And it’s not over yet,” I growl. “The KKK took Vinyl and a load of other people prisoner. Owl Man wants us to swap Dan-Dan for them. That’s why we haven’t ripped his throat out.”

  “Yet,” Shane adds for good measure.

  Dr. Oystein looks astonished. “This is grave, unsettling news. You must tell me the full story. Zhang will need to hear it too. Give me a few minutes to finish up. I will meet all of you in Zhang’s rooms presently.”

  As we turn to leave, the doctor calls to Dan-Dan. “Lord Wood, I welcome you to County Hall and offer you my protection during your stay with us.”

  “Very kind of you,” Dan-Dan says, taken aback.

  “But if you even look sideways at any of my young Angels,” the doc says softly but firmly, “I will tear your flesh from your bones in as slow and excruciating a manner as possible. And bear in mind that I have had decades to consider such procedures.”

  As Dan-Dan’s cheeks redden in a rare moment of unconcealed terror, Dr. Oystein says, “Get this piece of rotting flotsam out of my sight,” then heads back into his lab to tidy up and cool down.

  I’ve never seen the doc this worked up before. I have to say, it is a delicious surprise. If I could bottle Dan-Dan’s expression, I’d take pleasure from it every single day for the rest of my life. Take that, you putrid, child-killing scum!

  TWELVE

  We find Master Zhang training a group of Angels. We interrupt and tell him that Dr. Oystein is coming. He dismisses his students and asks us to sit. While we’re waiting, he fetches a kettle, teapots and cups, then starts to brew tea. He loved flavored tea when he was alive, and even though we can’t taste much now, he likes to indulge his old habit.

  Zhang hands a cup to each of us, inviting us to test his concoction. He pauses when he comes to Dan-Dan, then sets down a cup in front of him and bows politely, as he has done with the rest of us.

  “Many thanks,” Dan-Dan says, returning the bow. Then he says something in Chinese. Zhang looks startled, but responds in his own tongue. The pair exchange a few sentences–I think it’s part of the traditional ceremony–then Dan-Dan bows again, picks up the cup and sips. “Delicious,” he sighs happily. “This brings back many sweet memories.”

  “I suppose China was one of your stomping grounds in the bad old days,” I sneer.

  “As I told you, I was a global traveler,” Dan-Dan beams, sipping the tea again. “But I must admit, I spent more time in the Far East than elsewhere. I found their lack of hypocrisy refreshing.”

  “You’re saying we’re hypocrites because we despise you?” Carl snorts.

  “No,” Dan-Dan says. “You upstanding young ladies and gentlemen have ignored my bribes and promises of rewards if you set me free. I respect you for that. I can understand your reasons for not wanting to do business with a rogue like me. There were many people who shared your view and had nothing to do with me in the past. I never had a problem with that. If you’ll pardon the pun, I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea.

  “But there were others who were willing to overlook what I got up to in my spare time. You’d be shocked by the number of politicians, police officers, judges, lawyers and journalists who were happy to take my money and look the other way when I was plucking my darlings from the streets and slitting their tender throats. Now, if they’d left it at that, I wouldn’t have a bad word said about them. But many were two-faced. They gladly accepted my bribes, but spoke ill of me behind my back and in public, as if they were better than me.

  “That wasn’t the case with my Far Eastern contacts. If they chose to deal with me, they accepted that they were as culpable as I was. If you do business with a depraved beast–as many regard me, although of course I don’t share their warped view–you automatically lower yourself to that level. My eastern friends didn’t have the airs and graces of their western counterparts. I tell you, children, I’m guilty of many sins, but I think hypocrisy is the worst of all, and of that I am innocent.”

  We start to argue with him, but before we get very far, Dr. Oystein appears and silence falls. He accepts a cup of tea from Master Zhang, but doesn’t drink any of it. He’s staring at Dan-Dan, looking angrier but at the same time more troubled than I’ve ever seen him.

  “Tell me what happened,” he finally says, and we fill him in on all the twists of our mission, connecting with Vinyl and the survivors in Hammersmith, making it to New Kirkham, spotting Owl Man and the Ku Klux Klan on our way back. We tell him how we returned to the town and fought. I describe my pursuit of the trucks and my run-in with Owl Man. I expect him to comment on that, but he says nothing. We finish with Jakob staying on at Biddy Barry’s invitation to serve as her deputy.

  “Extraordinary,” Dr. Oystein murmurs, his first word since he asked for our story. “Jakob will be a fine ambassador. This could be the beginning of a vital new phase for us.”

  “That is what I said,” Ashtat beams.

  “But as for everything else…” Dr. Oystein’s face clouds over again. He shares a questioning glance with Master Zhang. Our mentor hesitates, then nods.

  “Come with me, please, Lord Wood,” Zhang says, getting to his feet.

  “Where are you taking me?” Dan-Dan asks as he rises, looking ever so slightly worried.

  “A room where you can rest and dine,” Zhang says. “Our chef, Ciara, will take your order and serve you as best she can.”

  “What about exchanging me for the girl’s friend and the other prisoners?” Dan-Dan asks Dr. Oystein. “You’re not going to renege on our deal, are you?”

  “I agreed to no deal with you,” Dr. Oystein says quietly.

  Dan-Dan stiffens. “My allies will kill the lot of them most brutally if you don’t take me back.”

  “I am aware of that,” Dr. Oystein replies. Then, having given Dan-Dan a few seconds to sweat, he looks at me and smiles briefly. “Allay your fears, Lord Wood. We will return you to Battersea Power Station safe and sound, as promised.”

  Dan-Dan gapes. “You know where I’m based?”

  Dr. Oystein nods. “I have eyes everywhere. I know where Owl Man and the members of the Klan have situated themselves, so if you are working together as closely as you intimated, I assume that is where you have also set up home.”

  “Then why haven’t you…?” Dan-Dan frowns, then shrugs. “No, it’s none of my business. I’m hungry. I’ll go see what your people can rustle up for me. Just one question first. When will I be leaving?”

  “Either this afternoon or tomorrow morning,” Dr. Oystein says.

  “Excellent,” Dan-Dan grins, and waddles off after Master Zhang.

  “What a horrible excuse for a man,” Dr. Oystein says sourly. “It is not often that I can find nothing good to say about someone, but Lord Wood is vile through and through.”

  “He does things with style though,” Rage chuckles, smiling for the first time since he returned to us after his myst
erious night on the town.

  “Admittedly,” Dr. Oystein says. “He is a powerful, dangerous adversary. Many did not take him seriously in the past, because of his buffoonish appearance. All of those walked away the worse for their encounters. I will not underestimate him.”

  The doc falls silent. We wait for him to speak, but although my patience has improved vastly since I started training here, I can’t contain myself indefinitely, and I’m the one who finally breaks the thoughtful peace. “You knew about the Ku Klux Klan?”

  “Yes,” Dr. Oystein says.

  “Why didn’t you tell us?”

  He sighs. “I was hoping the army would deal with them. As worrying as they are, Mr. Dowling must be our priority, and I was afraid that some of you might get distracted if you knew about those marauding monsters. I did not consider them our problem.”

  “Well, they’re our problem now,” I snort. “We have to free the prisoners, make Owl Man release them as he promised, in return for Dan-Dan.”

  Dr. Oystein frowns. “But you said he only guaranteed your friend’s release.”

  “Yeah, but he said he’d do his best to have the others freed too.”

  “And you think that he will honor his pledge?” Dr. Oystein asks.

  “Yes,” I say confidently. “I didn’t when we were discussing it, and only went along with him because I had no choice. But I’ve been thinking about it since then, and I’ve realized he didn’t have to strike the deal in the first place, so I’m more optimistic that he’ll do what he said he would, that it’s a deal he made because he wanted to make it, not because we were forcing his hand.”

  Dr. Oystein looks confused. “What do you mean?”

  “Owl Man didn’t work his voodoo on Rage.” I turn to face the bewildered hulk. “You didn’t feel anything strange when you were holding Dan-Dan, did you, like you should release him and step away?”

  “No,” Rage squints. “Why should I?”

  “When I tried to attack Owl Man’s dog in New Kirkham, he took control of my body.” I describe what happened, how I lost the ability to move, how he turned me into a puppet, manipulating me with his words alone. “If he could do that to me, he can probably do it to other revitalizeds,” I conclude. “So why didn’t he do it to Rage and simply take Dan-Dan there and then?”