Into the Garden

  "All my life."

  "It's cozy," he said, "but the pictures and some of the decorations surprise me?'

  "Yes. My mother and I just did some of it because we got bored with how the house looked?'

  He nodded and gazed up the stairway.

  "How many bedrooms?"

  "Two," I said.

  When we looked into the living room, we saw that slower music was being played and everyone was dancing closely. Misty looked very happy and gave me an impish little smile as she tightened her embrace around Chris. For a long moment Stuart and I remained in the doorway, watching.

  "How did you all meet?" he asked. "You're all going to different schools and live in different parts of the city, right?"

  Once again butterflies of panic fluttered in my chest. There were just too many lies floating around us. One or the other was bound to crash and send up question marks and create suspicions. The best thing to do, I concluded, was stay as close to the truth as possible.

  "We all had the same therapist," I told him. "Doctor Marlowe?'

  "Oh?' He nodded and looked at them. "I saw a counselor too, after Dad's death. Did it help you?"

  "Yes," I said.

  "Me too?' He smiled. "It's good to have someone to talk to," he said, "someone who really listens?'

  I nodded.

  "You wanna try it?" he asked, nodding at the dancers.

  "I'll be clumsy," I said.

  "So will I. We'll be a perfect couple," he said. He smiled, but with such sincerity, I lost my inhibitions in a moment. It was as if he could fill me with confidence simply by directing those hazel eyes at mine. Our eyes locked as if we were both about to journey through them into our very souls, touching each other deeply before retreating like two people who suddenly snap out of a hypnotic state.

  He gently took the crutches from me and placed them against the wall. Then he put his arm around my waist and held me as if he would keep me from falling off the edge of the earth. I never would have thought it, but I actually forgot I had a cast on my leg. We moved about the room with almost as much grace and ease as the others. I saw how the girls were all gazing at us, each with a soft, happy smile o her face. None matched the smile on my face, however.

  When the music changed and became upbeat, we didn't retreat. We were all swinging and laughing. In fact, I became so involved with my dancing, I nearly forgot about the meatballs. Stuart reminded me.

  "I'm one of those men who could be won over with food," he whispered.

  I laughed, but he looked like he really meant it. He and I then returned to the kitchen and prepared the sandwich platters.

  "We're a team," he declared. "You make them up and serve them."

  Finally, we joined the others and all of us sat around eating and talking. David asked Larry questions about the army and Germany, and even Misty's Chris, who had been so quiet all evening, asked questions. Afterward, everyone helped clean up and for a while, we all just sat around, talking about schools, music, and movies. I could see the curiosity building in Stuart's face as I revealed that I hadn't seen this or done that. I could almost hear him ask, "Where have you been?"

  Where had I been? While everyone else was out there, experiencing life, doing things, Geraldine had me practically imprisoned in her own unhappiness and depression. It wasn't hard to understand why I had at first welcomed my father's unholy affections.

  Jade and David started to dance again and soon after Star and Larry joined them. Jade looked like she was trying to outdo Star for a while and then everyone just stopped, exhausted. It was getting late, anyway.

  It had been decided beforehand that Misty was going to stay over with me. When the party ended, Star left with Larry, and David decided that he and Stuart were going to take Jade homed Chris lingered. I could see Misty really liked him.

  "If you're tired," she whispered, "just go up.I'll come up later' She glanced at Chris who sat on the sofa trying not to look conspicuous.

  "Oh, sure," I said.

  I went out with David, Jade, and Stuart to say good night. Star and Larry had already left.

  "I really had a good time," Stuart told me. "I'm glad I let my cousin talk me into it."

  "I'm glad too," I said.

  "You're a nice girl," he said. "Easy to talk to and not full of yourself like so many girls I meet these days." "Thanks," I said.

  Jade and David were waiting patiently in the car and involved in each other. My heart started thumping. What was I supposed to do? Look like I wanted to kiss him good night? Encourage him? Just stick out my hand? Was a handshake okay or silly for a girl?

  Before I could ponder the questions long, he leaned forward and brought his lips gently to mine. His eyes were closed, but I kept mine open. It was a quick kiss, almost too quick to be considered anything.

  "Good night," he said.

  "Good night."

  He lingered very close to me.

  "I'd like to call you tomorrow. Maybe we can go for a ride or something and have some lunch at the beach," he said. "How's that sound?"

  "Good," I said. It sounded more than good.

  He smiled, turned to go to the car, paused, and then returned to me.

  "I've been out of it so long, I guess I kissed you good night like someone would kiss a relative. You probably think I'm a clumsy fool."

  "No, I--"

  He embraced me and kissed me harder on the lips, holding me longer, sending a hot shaft of excitement up my spine and around my stomach.

  "There," he said. "That's more like it, right?"

  All I could do was nod. He smiled softly, squeezed my hand gently and left for the car. Before he got into the backseat, he waved.

  "I'll call you midmorning," he promised and got in. I watched the car back away. Jade waved.

  "Great party!" David called back to me. I waved to him, too, and remained on the walk as the car moved down the street. Just before it reached the corner, its headlights washed over an automobile parked on the right.

  My heart stopped and started.

  It looked exactly like my father's car and there was someone sitting inside. I saw his silhouette just for a second. I couldn't move. The car's lights went on; its engine started and it pulled away, disappearing like some short but horrifying nightmare, into the darkness.

  I caught my breath and hurried back into the house. I wanted to tell Misty, but the lights were out in the living room. The music was low and I knew she certainly didn't want to hear or see me at the moment. She especially didn't want to hear anything unpleasant tonight.

  No matter how close we all got to each other, some burdens would be my own, I thought. I carried this one up to my bedroom with me and closed the door. I had wanted to go to sleep dreaming of Stuart's warm eyes, but instead, when I closed my own, I could see only my father's eyes shining through the darkness like some predatory animal's, waiting patiently, hovering, confident that soon, soon he would get what he wanted.

  14 Caught in the Act

  Misty didn't come up all night. I fell asleep waiting for her and woke up once during the night and realized she wasn't beside me in the bed. I listened for voices below, heard nothing, and concluded she might have left with Chris. However, when I went down in the morning, I found her curled up on the sofa. She had a blanket partially wrapped over her and I could see she was wearing only her bra and panties. Her dress was draped over the back of the sofa. Chris was gone. I didn't wake her. I went into the kitchen and started on breakfast. Just as I sat at the table, she appeared in the doorway with the blanket around her like a toga.

  "Hi," she said after a big yawn. She shuffled to the coffeepot and poured herself a cup. After she took a sip, she smiled and said, "Great party." She paused when I didn't respond. "You had fun, didn't you? I saw how close you and Stuart were most of the night."

  "Yes, I did have fun and he's very nice," I said. "Well, why are you so glum looking then? Are you mad at me for spending more time with Chris?" "No, of course not," I replied.
r />   "So?" She sat and sipped her coffee. "What is

  it?"

  "I think my father was out there last night,

  parked across the street. It looked like his car and his

  silhouette when he pulled away. He left right after

  David drove off with Stuart and Jade."

  "Maybe you just imagined it was him," Misty

  said. "You're nervous about it since the break-in. I

  mean, why would he just sit in his car across the street

  and then leave when they left? That doesn't make

  sense, does it?"

  "I don't know. He was probably stunned by

  what he had discovered in here when he broke in, and

  now he is spying on the house. Seeing I had a party

  surely sharpened his curiosity. He knows Geraldine

  would never permit

  She thought a moment and then shrugged. "What's he going to do about it?"

  "I don't know."

  "He's supposed to stay out of your life. He's got

  to be afraid you'll call the police if he comes around,

  so stop worrying so much. You'll get a wrinkled brow

  and Stuart might not like that," she teased.

  I blushed and she laughed.

  "Guess what," she said, leaning toward me, her

  eyes full of glee "Chris isn't as shy as I thought." Her

  eyes brightened even more in anticipation of my

  reaction.

  "What do you mean?" I asked instead. "What do I mean? He didn't leave until about an

  hour ago," she said, and stopped as if she had drawn

  dots on a page that I was supposed to connect in my

  own mind. "I didn't exactly chain him to the sofa," she

  added. "Understand?" She laughed. "I think I'll make

  some toast," she said, rising. "So," she continued as

  she worked, "how far did you two go?"

  "How far?"

  She turned and raised her eyebrows.

  "Yes, how far? Did you take the advice of our

  two leaders and make your kisses seem like gold?" "Oh. He kissed me good night," I revealed. She continued to stare at me, waiting. "What?" I asked.

  "That's it? You two were dancing very closely

  at one point, and you did spend a lot of time with him

  in the kitchen, I noticed."

  'We were preparing the food:'

  "Uh-huh," she sang.

  "That was it," I assured her. She still looked

  skeptical. "He's calling me this morning. He wants to

  take me to the beach and then to lunch."

  "That's nice. I'm going with Chris to the Santa

  Monica mall this morning. He wants me to help him

  buy his mother a birthday present. I wonder where

  Star and Larry ended up last night," she added after

  the toast popped up.

  "Larry was very nice," I said. "All the boys

  were:'

  "It's our new aura," Misty declared with

  dramatic flair. "Jade was right. Our spiritual sessions

  have wrapped a ring of charm about us that attracts

  only handsome, nice guys. See how we're all

  glowing!"

  She laughed, and I wondered if she really

  believed it or was just having fun and teasing me. Just under an hour later, Stuart called and

  arranged to pick me up by eleven. We still hadn't

  heard from Jade or Star. Misty helped me clean up the

  house, but criticized me for being too vigilant about it. "You act as if we're going to have an

  inspection. Geraldine's not coming back," she

  emphasized. Then she showered, dressed, and was

  ready for Chris when he came.

  "Would you like to go with us?" he asked after

  Misty and I greeted him at the door.

  "She can't. She has a date," Misty sang. "Cat's

  on the prowl," she told him, and followed it with a

  long meow that made us both laugh. "I'll call you

  later," she cried out as she left the house.

  I returned to my room and spent the rest of my

  time in front of my new vanity mirror trying to decide

  if I needed a darker lipstick, more makeup on my

  cheeks, or less eye shadow on my lids. It all made me

  so nervous, I finally just washed my face and put on

  the same lipstick I had on the night before.

  I had bell-bottom jeans to wear that would go

  over my cast, but I hated how I looked in them. My

  hips were too wide. Instead, l chose one of my new

  skirts, a blouse, and a cardigan sweater, which I didn't

  button. Searching through the bag of jewelry Jade had

  discovered in Geraldine's safe, I found a gold bracelet

  and a gold ring with diamond baguettes that fit my

  pinky finger. When the doorbell rang, I quickly

  sprayed on some of the cologne Jade had brought me

  and then started down the stairs, hating how clumsy I

  looked with this cast and crutches. Even so, I couldn't

  remember when I was more excited. This was really

  my first date.

  Leaning on my crutches, I pulled the door open

  only to face a deliveryman from Federal Express. My

  expression of disappointment hoisted his eyebrows. "Geraldine Carson?" he asked.

  For a moment my throat closed and I couldn't

  utter a sound. In an instant, I made a decision. "Yes?" I said, pretending to be Geraldine. "I have a delivery," he said, showing me the big

  envelope. "Please sign here," he said, offering me a

  clipboard and pointing to a line.

  I visualized her signature and tried my best to

  do it right even at a moment's notice. The messenger

  didn't care or ask for any identification.

  "Thank you," he said.

  I forced a smile, thanked him, and stepped

  back, quickly closing the door. For a few seconds, I

  just stood there trembling with the envelope in hand.

  Swallowing down a lump in my throat, I went into the

  living room, sat on the sofa and studied the envelope.

  There was no indication as to who had sent it. Maybe

  it was just the hospital or the bank or even Doctor

  Marlowe, I thought. I took a deep breath and tore it

  open.

  A sheet of paper was taped to two slices of

  cardboard. First, I read what was on the paper.

  Dear GYour so-called innocent is not so innocent after all. There's blame to be shared.

  He didn't sign it, but I recognized my father's handwriting. Slowly, I pulled the two pieces of cardboard apart and the picture fell on my lap. It had obviously been taken with a telephoto lens the night before. It had definitely been he in that car parked across the street. The shot caught Stuart and me kissing the second time, the long and romantic kiss. We were under the lights and clearly identifiable. I had been so dazed by the kiss that I hadn't felt his hand at the side of my breast. I know he didn't mean to grope me or anything, but it was just the awkward way we embraced when he had rushed back to give me "a real kiss:'

  If Geraldine were alive and looking at this, I thought, she would have found this photo damning. Whatever privileges she had granted would have been revoked. I could almost hear her shouting over my shoulder.

  "In the street! You kiss someone like that in the street and in front of our home for anyone to see?"

  Why had my father done this? What did he want? I thought and thought until a cold, terrifying reason reached the surface of my confusion. Could it be that he was actually jealous? That he didn't want to see me with anyone else? Was he hoping this picture would turn Geraldine against Stuart and have her forbid me from
ever seeing him again? Did he revel in the commotion and the dissension he would create in this house? He wanted her to keep me locked away. Maybe he hoped I would hate her so much, I would turn back to him.

  Whatever his reasons, another thought occurred to me. He would be spying on me all the time. He might even be out there this very moment, I thought, out there with his camera, waiting, hoping to catch me in some compromising act so he could have more to use in his drive to turn Geraldine into an even worse ogre.

  What was I going to do? I had to talk to the others to tell them about all this and get their advice. I went to the phone and called Star. Her granny answered and said Star and Larry had taken Rodney to the zoo. I thanked her and then I called Jade. Her answering machine came on and I left an urgent message. I imagined that she was still in bed, but would call me soon.

  When the doorbell rang, I realized that in my turmoil I had completely forgotten about Stuart. It was just a little after eleven. For a moment I spun about in a fluster, the picture still in my hand. I didn't want him to see it. I shoved it under a magazine in the living room and then went to the door. He had rung again.

  "Hi," he said. "I didn't mean to rush you, but I wanted to be sure you had heard."

  "That's okay," I said.

  "Are you ready?"

  "Yes." I gazed back into the house as if I somehow still expected Geraldine to appear, especially after the picture had been delivered, and then I hurried out, closing the door behind me quickly.

  As soon as I did step out, I paused, leaned on my crutches, and studied every automobile in the street. My father's car wasn't there, but maybe he had a different car, or maybe he had hired someone to follow me and take pictures. All sorts of scenarios ran through my terrified imagination. Stuart sensed my anxiety.

  "Anything wrong?" he asked

  "Oh, no," I said. "I was just looking to see if Misty was gone. She just left to go shopping with Chris," I added quickly, but I was never a very good liar. Geraldine had eyes that locked on mine and forced me to be truthful most of the time. She was always prying, checking, recon- firming.

  "Do you have to be back any specific time?" Stuart asked as we went to his car and he opened the door for me. "No," I said.

  "So your mother's going to be away today, too?"

  "Oh, yes. She called and said she was staying over another night, maybe even two."