Into the Garden

  "My mother met some other slob," Star told us. "She was talking today about leaving again. See these fingers," she said holding up both hands with her fingers crossed. "I'm keeping them that way all day."

  "You met Larry's parents, I understand?" Jade said. "So?"

  "That's what I wanted to ask," she retorted.

  "They're nice. He's got an older brother who is a computer engineer working for some software company in California. Larry's working with computers too, and he plans on getting into that career when he gets out of the army. And as soon as he's established he wants to get married and start a family."

  "It sounds like some serious plans are being put on the table," Jade said.

  "Maybe."

  "Really?" Misty cried.

  "I didn't say anything's for sure," Star quickly added. "We just talked in general. You've all done that too."

  "Not about that subject," Jade insisted. "I don't know if I ever want to get married and have children?'

  "I think Chris and I will be going together for a long time, maybe forever and ever," Misty announced. "He's a lot like me."

  "That's no good?' Jade said. "You want a man who complements you but adds, not duplicates?'

  "He adds," Misty said indignantly.

  "What does he add?"

  "Can you all just stop this for a moment?" I screamed. Their faces froze after they turned to me.

  "I'm glad you're all having a good time and you've all found the loves of your life, but we have a big problem."

  "I still don't know what this is all about," Misty protested.

  "I tried to tell you last night on the phone, but you were too wrapped up in your romance," I said, surprising even myself at how sharp I sounded, but I had been patient even though my stomach felt as if it were filled with killer bees.

  "That's not fair. Besides, you had Stuart here. You weren't exactly playing checkers all night, were you?"

  "Stop. Let her talk, Misty," Jade said. "I'm sorry, Cat. We've all been in storms of disappointment so long and so much. We're just overreacting to some good times."

  "Well, what's it all about?" Misty demanded.

  "My father. I told you he was out there spying on me the night of the party. He took a picture of Stuart and me kissing good night and sent it to Geraldine by Federal Express."

  "He did?"

  "And yesterday, he followed us to the beach and approached me when Stuart went to get me something to drink."

  "Did Stuart see him, learn who he was?" Jade asked quickly.

  "Not then. I told him later."

  "You told him? Why?" Star asked.

  "Because he found the picture under a magazine. I had hidden it quickly and poorly when he arrived to take me to lunch and the beach. He was shocked, and wanted to know who would take it and why."

  "What else did you tell him?" Jade asked. They all looked like they were holding their breaths.

  I described my fabrications and they listened, Jade nodding. Then I told them about his phone call last night and what I had said to my father to get him to stop asking for Geraldine.

  "That's good. You did the right thing," she said. "You were smart. I guess we're all getting to be good liars Look at the good teachers we've had for parents."

  "But what do I do now?" I asked.

  No one spoke.

  "He'll call again and again, and he will come here," I said.

  "She's right," Misty moaned and sat. "What are we going to do?"

  "We're in trouble," Jade agreed. "I knew we shouldn't have buried her. I knew it."

  "Well, what do you suggest now, we dig her up?" Star quipped.

  "Maybe."

  "Are you crazy?" Star nearly screamed at her. "Besides, you were the one who pointed out that Cat would end up in some foster home."

  "That's better than prison," Jade mumbled. 'We'll all be arrested," Misty muttered. "Take it easy, Misty," Star told her.

  "What do I tell Stuart about Geraldine after today? He'll wonder why she isn't home," I pointed out.

  They were all quiet a moment and then Misty looked up quickly.

  "Maybe you should break up with him," she said. "What?"

  "That's it. That will solve everything. Just get into an argument and throw him out. Then you don't have to worry about what he knows and what he doesn't."

  "I don't want to do that. How would you like me to tell you to get rid of Chris now?"

  "I don't have to worry about him discovering any secrets," she replied.

  "That's not fair, Misty," Star said.

  "Well, what is she supposed to do? What are we sup- posed to do?" she cried, her eyes wild. "Maybe I should go ask my father for advice or you should ask yours, Jade. Or you should ask your granny, Star."

  "Calm down," Jade said. "Give us all a chance to think."

  "Stuart's coming here today," I said. "He wants to stay over tonight?'

  "That's just great," Misty said with a frown.

  "Well, why did you have a party here and invite the boys and get me a date?" I shouted back at her.

  She stared at me. Then she looked at Jade.

  "We're losing it," Jade said, and stood. "Everyone upstairs to the room."

  "What?" Star said. "What good is that?"

  "Just do it," Jade snapped. "We need to get calm" Star rolled her eyes, took a deep breath, and stood up. "C'mon, Princess Jade has spoken:' Star told us?'

  Misty glanced at me and then stood up. I rose and the four of us made our way up the stairs to the special room. We gathered in our circle. The candle was lit, the music turned on. Jade closed her eyes and held out her hands.

  Everyone did the same.

  "Clear your minds of the turmoil," Jade prescribed. "Concentrate on your breathing?'

  After a moment, Misty moaned.

  "It's not working. I can't stop thinking about getting caught?'

  "Try harder. Don't talk for a while. Just breathe in and out, in and out?'

  "Oh, this is stupid:' Misty complained after another moment.

  "All right," Jade said. "What are our problems and how can we solve them? No hysterics," she warned.

  'We've got to decide what to do about Stuart," Star said. "If he is going to be coming around here, he's just naturally going to want to know where her mother is."

  "There are only two choices:' Jade said. "We either let Cat tell him the truth or Cat ends the relationship before it's started."

  "It's already started," I said.

  "How can we even think of telling him?" Misty asked. "What if she breaks up with him two days later? He could tell someone and then what?"

  "She's right," Star said.

  "I'm not planning on that happening," I said.

  "You don't plan these things. They happen Right, Jade?" Misty asked.

  "Yes, that's truer She looked at me. "What do you want to do, Cat?"

  "I want to tell him?'

  "But suppose it frightens him off or he thinks you're crazy for doing it?" Misty asked.

  "She's right again:' Star said.

  "Cat's too inexperienced to get so involved with a boy. We shouldn't have let it happen," Misty chastised. She looked at me. "He's your first real boyfriend. You shouldn't get so serious so fast."

  "I don't think we should be lecturing each other about relationships:' I said.

  "We know more than you do," she insisted. "Tell him you're getting too serious. Tell him you need to take a break. He'll call for a while and then he'll give up and go look for someone else."

  "I don't want him to look for someone else," I protested. "You've got to make the sacrifice for the good of the OWP's," Misty demanded.

  "What?"

  "You wanted our help. We gave it to you. We made you part of our group. Now it's time for you to do something for us," she said.

  I looked at Jade. She remained silent. Star's eyes narrowed with thought, but she didn't disagree.

  "We still have to think about her father," Star said.

  'We can eventu
ally call the police. Misty can do what we planned and put on Geraldine's clothes one night. She'll parade in front of the window and he'll think it's her,' Jade said. "Then, if the police call him, he will be frightened off and will stop."

  "That might work," Misty thought aloud. 'Where's the dress?"

  We left it in the closet," Jade said, nodding toward it. "Does she need the wig?"

  "Not if it's done at night and from a distance. Geraldine's hair was about her shade," I said.

  "Okay, that's settled. You see," Misty told me, "if you will just be cooperative and willing to help the OWP's, all will be fine. We can go on without worry. In a week or so, we'll have another party and we'll find another boy for you to meet. If you like him, we can pretend Geraldine's going to be away longer this time, maybe a week or even two!"

  I shook my head.

  "You can't be serious."

  "I make a motion Cat get rid of Stuart today for the good of the OWP's," Misty said.

  I looked at Jade and Star. Neither opposed it.

  "You're all thinking of yourselves, protecting yourselves, keeping your new boyfriends."

  "That's not entirely true," Jade said. "We don't exactly have all that many choices here."

  "I want to tell him the truth. He'll keep our secret," I insisted.

  "It's not only your secret," Misty said. "It involves and endangers all of us. You have no right to make that decision on your own. It has to be an OWP decision. Am I right, Jade?"

  Jade nodded.

  "I have a motion on the floor," Misty continued.

  "Why do you think you can trust him, Cat?" Jade asked.

  "I have a motion!" Misty cried.

  "This is on the motion," Jade snapped at her. "Cat?" I looked down and thought.

  "You all know what my life was like with my father and Geraldine. You all know what went on, what he did to me. The first time Stuart touched me, I cringed. He felt it, but he didn't get angry or discouraged. He was gentle and sensitive," I said.

  Tears began to burn under my lids, but I held them back and continued.

  "No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't keep the memories of my father out of my mind when I was with Stuart. I could even hear my father's voice over Stuart's. I thought this is the way it will be all my life. I'm spoiled goods," I said, looking up at them. Even Misty started to soften.

  The music played. The candle burned. Minutes went by and the tension was drained from our bodies.

  "We're going to be all right. We're going to be fine," Jade concluded.

  Before we left the room, Misty tried on Geraldine's dress and paraded about.

  "What do you think?" Jade asked me. "Remember, it's from a distance."

  "She is about Geraldine's height," I said, "but we should fix her hair so it looks more like

  Geraldine's. And you have to hold your shoulders more stiffly," I instructed Misty.

  "Okay, you'll do your first performance tonight," Jade told Misty.

  "It's creepy," Misty said. "I feel like one of Stephen King's twisted characters."

  "That was Geraldine," I muttered, and they all laughed.

  Misty took off the dress. Jade blew out the candle and turned off the music. She paused and looked back as we stood in the doorway.

  "See," she said, "it is our special place, and we'll always be special to each other?'

  All I could do was hope and pray she was right.

  "But something happened last night, something very special and precious. Stuart's voice suddenly overpowered my father's and I could feel him being pushed out of me, shut out of me. I could love someone and someone could love me, and maybe that's more important than worrying about the truth and Geraldine and everything else," I said. "I think I'd even be willing to go to prison now, if I had to. I'll just say that I did it all myself. No one has to worry."

  For a long moment, no one spoke.

  "I think we should trust Cat's instincts on this," Star said, nodding. "Let her tell him. Jade?"

  "There's no point in doing all we're doing if we don't allow ourselves to change and grow in new directions. Doctor Marlowe might even be happy about it," Jade added with a smile.

  We all looked at Misty.

  "All right:' she said. "Maybe I was being too selfish, worrying about my own love life. I'm sorry, Cat."

  We hugged.

  "Do you want to tell him today?" Jade asked.

  "I should. I can't think of another lie about her." "Maybe we should all be there," Star suggested. Jade looked at me.

  "It's not a bad idea, Cat. Then we'll leave you alone with him."

  "All right," I said. Now that they had agreed, I began to feel nervous about it. Jade sensed it and reached out again.

  "Hold hands," she ordered. She lowered her head and we clasped and lowered ours. "Deep breaths, clear your mind, refresh your spirit. We've got to call on each other, strengthen each other."

  16 The Bonds of Fate

  " Hi," Stuart began excitedly as soon as I opened the door. He came in quickly. "I thought you might want to go to a movie tonight. We could have dinner at Yin-Yangs which is right near the movie and..."

  He paused when he saw all the girls sitting in the living room.

  "Oh, a meeting of the sewing circle, huh?" he joked. When no one laughed, he looked at me with surprise. "Anything wrong?"

  "We all want to talk to you, Stuart," Jade said. "Please come in and sin" She nodded at an empty chair.

  'What's going on? Say, aren't you meeting my cousin later? He said something about taking you to the beach club for dinner tonight. Star, Misty, hi," Stuart continued as he walked into the living room. He glanced at me and sat. "So? What's this all about?" He smiled. "Planning another party?"

  "It's about us and about Cat," Jade replied with a sternness in her voice. She turned to me. We hadn't discussed just how we were going to go about this, but I assumed we would all speak.

  I sat to Stuart's right, facing him, but I didn't say anything.

  'We're not a sewing circle, but we do have sort of a club,' Jade continued.

  "We call it the OWP's," Misty said.

  "OWP's?" Stuart smiled. "What's that?"

  "Orphans With Parents," she explained. He looked even more confused.

  "Excuse me? How can you be an orphan if you have parents?" he asked. Every time he spoke to one of them, he glanced at me.

  "Without going into great detail, Stuart, we all met at a therapist's office," Jade continued.

  "Yes, I know," he said. "Cathy told me that."

  "Oh?" Star said.

  "That's all told him," I quickly added.

  "She didn't reveal anything about anyone, if that's what this is about," Stuart confirmed.

  "It's not exactly what it's about," Jade said. "But it's no secret that we've all had problems with our parents. Mine, as you know, are concluding a divorce. Misty's are divorced and her father remarried recently. Star's father deserted his family and her mother did the same."

  "She came back the other day, but I'm hoping it's not for long," Star interjected.

  "And Cathy's parents are divorced," Stuart said, "and still battling over who's the better parent. I know it's unpleasant. It's great that you're all friends and can help each other. OWP's," he said to Misty. "Okay. I guess it makes sense in a way when you have a divorce in a family."

  "It makes sense in a lot of ways," Misty replied. "Cathy's parents aren't exactly divorced," Jade said.

  "That's not the problem Cat is dealing with here today."

  "Huh?" He looked at me. "I don't understand. She told me they were."

  "Cathy, why don't you ..."

  "My parents haven't got a formal divorce yet. Actually," I said, "to begin at the beginning. My mother is not my mother. She's really my sister. We were both adopted. She and my father adopted me because my real mother had me out of wedlock late in life'

  Stuart just stared as if my words were like fish floating around his head, too fast to catch and hold.

&
nbsp; "I didn't find this out until relatively recently and only after my father was prohibited from having anything to do with me."

  "But I thought you said they were struggling over custody and--"

  "I didn't tell you the whole truth."

  "Why not?" Stuart asked. He thought a moment and then asked, "Why is he prohibited from seeing you?"

  "Why would a father be prohibited from being near his daughter?" Jade asked as an answer.

  "I don't know."

  "Think," Jade ordered. "Use your X-rated imagination?' He did and then his face registered his conclusion. He quickly looked at me.

  "You mean that he abused you?"

  Even now, even after all the therapy with Doctor Marlowe, it was still difficult for me to do much more than nod.

  "Her sister, sister, who pretended to be her mother for years and years, wasn't exactly easy to live with either," Star said. "She was never really involved with Cat and wasn't there when Cat needed her the most."

  "Wasn't easy to live with?" Stuart caught. "Isn't she still here, playing the role of mother?"

  "She's dead," Jade said. Her words fell like small bombs among us.

  "Dead?" He looked at me and at them, and shook his head. "But I thought she was visiting a sister or something." He shook his head. "I don't think I understand any of this What's going on, Cathy?"

  "Before anything more is said, we need a promise from you, or more to the point, Cat needs a promise that what we're about to tell you, you'll keep secret for as long as necessary," Jade told him. "If you feel you don't want to know any more, we'd understand. Even Cat would, right, Cat?"

  "Yes," I said, "I'm sorry about all this, Stuart. I wish I could have told it to you another way, but..?' I looked at the others. "They're all involved now, too. They had to approve of telling you."

  He sat back, a look of confusion moving to a look of fear that snapped him forward.

  "Wait a minute. You're not going to tell me you ... all of you are responsible for her sister's death or something, are you?" he asked with a tremble in his voice.

  "No," Star said firmly.

  He let out a breath and relaxed.

  "Thank God for that," he said.

  "But we did something that isn't exactly legal afterward," Jade said.

  "Afterward? Yes, how did she die?"

  "She had a heart attack and died right here in this room," Star said.