Into the Garden

  "So there was a funeral and everything?"

  "There was a funeral," she said, looking at us, "but not exactly what you would expect."

  He kept shaking his head.

  "I still don't understand. What I would expect?"

  "Cat has no real relatives, Stuart. She's just a little over seventeen so she can't legally be on her own," Jade explained. "With an abusive father and no close family, she is a prime candidate for foster care. We thought if we could keep her mother's death a secret until she was eighteen, she'd be all right. She has trust funds, and for now she's capable of taking care of herself in every way. We're determined to help her do that"

  "Keep her death a secret? What are you all telling me, that no one but you people know her mother is dead?" Stuart asked, leaning forward.

  "Exactly," Jade said. "And now you," she added. She looked at me. "Cat wanted us to tell you. You should be flattered. She hasn't been able to put her trust in many people. None of us have, for that matter, but for reasons known only to her, she has decided to place her fate in your hands, too."

  "I see," he said, sitting back. He thought a moment, his eyes blinking rapidly. Then he looked at Jade and me, and sat up again. "If her death is still a secret, where exactly is she? I hope not in the freezer."

  "She's in the backyard," Star revealed.

  "And she had a proper burial with a reading from the Bible and all," Misty said.

  He raised his eyebrows.

  "You buried her in the backyard?"

  "Exactly," Jade said. "And it wasn't easy."

  "Are you absolutely sure she was dead?" he asked.

  How many times had I had that nightmare? I thought, and from the way the others looked after the question, how many times had they?

  "Yes, absolutely," Star said firmly. "She had no pulse. She was blue and stiff and cold, and even Jesus couldn't raise her," she said.

  "The backyard?" he repeated, gazing toward the back of the house.

  "It doesn't look like a grave," Misty said. "Star worked hard on that. If you want, go look for yourself and tell us where you think she is," she said proudly.

  He stared at Misty as if she and the rest of us were all crazy. A faint smile creased his lips.

  "Is this for real or are you all having fun with me?" he asked.

  "Hardly," Jade said with a face that could be mistaken for granite. "Cat's already told you how terrible her father is behaving."

  "Then he doesn't know about... your sister being dead?"

  "No," Cat said. "He called last night and I told him she was in the hospital."

  "He broke into the house, too," Misty blurted. "He broke in through the back door."

  "What? When? Why?"

  "A few days ago. We think he was after money that was in a safe in her sister's closet?'

  "Among other things," Star muttered, glancing at me. "He took the safe, but we'd already taken the money out of it," Jade told him

  "So that's why that back door looks like it does," he said, more to himself than to us, and nodded. "What are you going to do when he finds out about...I don't know whether to call her your mother or your sister?'

  "That's been her problem, too," Star muttered.

  "I just call her Geraldine now," I said. "We're hoping that he'll stay away because he'll think she'll call the police. At least he's afraid of her."

  "But you told him she was in the hospital. What's to stop him from just coming over here, even right now?" Stuart asked.

  `We're going to pretend she came home. Misty is going to dress like her. Cat says they're about the same size," Jade told him.

  "You mean she's going to impersonate her?"

  "Exactly," Jade said. "It will be dark so we think she can do it."

  Stuart shook his head, glanced at me and then at them. "This is nuts."

  "It's what we have to do to protect her. Are you going to help us?"

  "What do you want me to do?" he asked.

  "Keep your mouth shut about it for starters," Star said. "Think you can do that?" she added. "Cat does. Cat's the one who has all the faith in you," she told him.

  He looked at me.

  "If it's for her and it's what she wants, of course," he said. I smiled

  "Actually," Jade said, thinking aloud, "it's good that you're in on this with us. It will give Cat more security to have you around."

  "In on this?" He paused. "Doesn't anyone call for her sister? Doesn't anyone come visiting?" he asked me.

  "No. She didn't have any friends and conducted almost all her business over the phone. She hated going out of the house."

  "And no family?"

  "Just cousins who never call, never write," I said. "She never called or wrote them either."

  "But there's your father out there," he reminded us.

  "As we told you, he's supposed to stay away. If he comes around, you can chase him off," Jade said. "Threaten to call the police."

  "Sure," Stuart said skeptically. "I'll scare the hell out of him. What does he do? Doesn't he have a job?"

  "He's an executive in a stock brokerage firm and he can do almost anything he wants," I said. "He's often away from his office, visiting with clients."

  Stuart smirked. "This isn't going to be easy."

  "It has been up to now," Star said dryly.

  We heard a car horn sound in the driveway. Stuart's head snapped around, his eyes wide.

  "That's only my limousine," Jade said. "We've all got some things to do today, but Misty is coming back here tonight for a little while. By herself," she added. "You see, Cat is going to bring her mother home from the hospital tonight?'

  "Huh?"

  "I'm going to get into the clothes, fix my hair like Geraldine's and wrap something around me so I'm mostly hidden," Misty explained.

  "We were thinking you might be the one to drive them," Jade said.

  "What? Me?"

  "You'll leave with Cat and return with her sister?'

  "You can even be a kind gentleman and help her into the house," Star said. "In case you're being watched."

  "You don't have to do it, if you don't want to," I told him quickly.

  "I could be the one to drive them, too," Jade said, "but we just thought since you were already here, it would also make it easier for her father to believe Geraldine would permit you to be here afterward!'

  "You think he'll be out there tonight?" Stuart asked, gazing nervously at the window.

  "Cat believes he's watching the house often," Jade said. "You already know that he followed you two all the way to the beach yesterday."

  He sat back, looking glum.

  "So?" Star demanded. "Are you in or what? Stuart?" He looked up sharply.

  "I said if it's what Cat wants ..." he replied, but looked quite thoughtful and troubled.

  "Good," Jade said, standing. She glanced at her watch. "I've got to go."

  "Wait," Stuart said. "If Misty is going to impersonate Cathy's sister, she can't come here. I mean, Misty can't be seen coming here, nor can she be seen leaving for the hospital with us. If two people leave, obviously three have to return."

  "That's right," Star said. "He's right."

  "I'll sneak in through the back door," Misty said, "just in case, and then hide down in the back of the car when you leave."

  "Back into the driveway and Misty will get in from the garage," Star said.

  "Sounds like you've all been studying spy movies or something," Stuart said.

  "We do what we have to do to help each other," Jade told him. "It's an oath we've taken!'

  "Oath?" He started to laugh and stopped when he saw Jade's face harden with determination.

  "For us, promises usually don't have any meaning, whether they're sworn oaths, vows at the altar, or written contacts. But what we tell each other does have meaning." she said with such authority and assurance, even Stuart looked impressed. Star smiled and Misty looked delighted.

  "That's who we are," she said. "OWP's. For now, you're an honor
ary member."

  "For now," Star muttered. "We'll see how he does."

  "Okay, let's go," Jade said. "I have some important things to do before David comes over for a swim this afternoon." She paused and looked at Stuart. "You can't tell him or anyone else any of this," she warned. "No one else knows."

  "I understand," Stuart said.

  "See you later, Cat," Misty said. "Don't worry. I'll do fine as Geraldine."

  "I'll be checking on you afterward," Star said. "I'll call." "Thank you:' I told her.

  We all hugged and then I watched them leave and get into the limousine. Out of habit now, I studied the street. I didn't see him, but I didn't have to. I felt him.

  When I returned to the living room, Stuart was still sit ting in his chair, his head down, his hands pressed together like someone in prayer.

  "I'm sorry, Stuart. I didn't mean to get you involved in all this, but the choice was either to tell you or..."

  "Or what?" he said, lifting his eyes to me quickly.

  "Say or do something that would drive you away so I wouldn't have to continually come up with some lame excuse for why Geraldine isn't home," I said.

  "Well," he said, standing, "I still can't believe you guys did this and in the backyard?"

  I nodded.

  "I've got to take a look and see for myself before I really believe it," he said.

  I followed him to the back door. He opened it and stepped out, looking over the yard. The day was mostly overcast with the occasional sunlight drawing dreary shadows over everything.

  "The fresh seeds and freshly planted flowers give it away. Right?" he said, nodding at the grave.

  "Right. After a little while it will be hard to tell though."

  "Maybe?'

  "You should have seen us out here that night. It wasn't easy to dig a grave?'

  "I bet," he said, shaking his head. Then he looked at me, his eyes narrowed and troubled. "So you're really on your own? You really have nobody now?"

  "I have the girls and I hope I have you," I said.

  He looked toward the grave again.

  "This is crazy, Cathy. I said what I said in there in front of them, but now that I see this, and realize what's happened, you can't go on with this. It really is illegal. I don't think any of you actually thought this out:'

  "But you told them you'd help, Stuart?"

  "Even if you all are somehow able to carry it off until you're eighteen, how are you going to explain this when you have to? You know, they'll dig her up and they'll do an investigation to see if she died naturally or whatever. If there is even the slightest suggestion or possibility she didn't, the four of you could become murder suspects?'

  "Murder suspects! She just died, Stuart. She had a heart attack?'

  "How do you know that? None of you has a medical degree, Cathy. Do you know how that's determined? I do. Remember, I told you I want to go into medicine. They have to do an autopsy and they examine the heart. They can tell if it's been damaged. What if it hasn't?"

  "Why else would she have died?" I moaned. I wished we weren't having this conversation ten feet from Geraldine's grave. I could almost see her smiling beneath the ground.

  "There are lots of causes of death." He thought a moment and then he turned to me and put his hands on my shoulders. "Cathy, what if she was depressed about all this and she took her own life? What if she swallowed some pills or something? Don't you see? Someone might think you put the pills in her food and then you and your girlfriends, all troubled and disturbed so much they had to have therapy, buried her to hide what you did."

  I shook my head.

  "No, no that's not what happened. I couldn't have done something like that," I cried.

  "But I bet you've wished it, haven't you?"

  "Maybe," I admitted.

  "So someone who doesn't know you obviously could think it." He stepped back. "No," he said. "Now that I've seen this and thought about it, I realize you have to go in there and call the police and tell them what you did."

  "No, Smart," I said, the tears streaming out of my eyes and zigzagging down my cheeks to my chin. "I couldn't do that. They're my friends, my best friends. I can't betray them. We're all in this together."

  "Yeah, I know. The OWP's. You're not children anymore you know. The next thing you'll all tell me is you have a clubhouse."

  I looked up sharply.

  "Oh, this house is your clubhouse?"

  "Yes, in a way," I said softly.

  "Cathy, this is all insane. You're going to be in big trouble."

  I shook my head.

  "You promised them, Stuart. You said you would help."

  "I know. I know, but the reality is you can't keep this up for months and months. Something's going to happen. Your father will eventually figure out something's not right. Don't you see? You've got to call them back and get them to go to the police, and if they won't, you've got to do it yourself. That's your sister in the ground there!"

  I shook my head vigorously.

  "No, that would be a horrible betrayal."

  "What's more important?" he asked. "Loyalty to them or doing the right thing?"

  "Loyalty to them," I said firmly, and stepped back, out of his reach.

  "It's not going to work," he insisted. He looked back at the grave and shook his head.

  "You promised," I said through my tears. "I talked them into trusting you," I moaned. "I thought you really cared about me, wanted to be with me."

  "I do," he said. "That's why I'm telling you all this." He stared at the ground. "Let me think Oaths, clubs, OWP's, Jesus."

  I felt a wave of anger and hardness come over me.

  "Don't think about it anymore. You can go home now, Stuart," I said, grinding back my tears with my closed hand. I wiped my cheeks and straightened up on my crutches. "Just forget everything we've told you and go home. You don't have to help us, help me, and get yourself into trouble, too."

  "I didn't say I wouldn't help you," he muttered. "I'm trying to help you now. Think of yourself."

  "I'm going back inside," I said, and turned away from him. As quickly as I could, I went through the house and into the living room where I sat in what had always been Geraldine's chair. A few moments later he appeared in the doorway, his shoulders slouched, his eyes directed down.

  "I really do want to help you, Cathy, and I don't want to leave you. I like you a lot, but I've got to think about my mother and what this would do to her on top of everything she's suffered. There's my little brother to think about, too."

  "Go home to your mother and your little brother, Stuart."

  He raised his head.

  "I mean, I'm willing to stay with you, to drive you to the police if you want."

  I forced a smile.

  "Thank you, Stuart. If I decide to do that, I'll call you," I said.

  "Cathy, you're just not thinking of the consequences," he insisted.

  "Really? What are the consequences, Stuart? Are they worse than the consequences I've suffered merely by being born into this nightmare? Jade told you to use your imagination, but no matter how good your imagination is, you can't even begin to understand. Despite my father, these past days have been the first days when I felt, I believed, I could be someone with her own identity, some- one who could love and be loved. My disturbed friends, as you called them, helped me to do that and never once really thought about what risks they were taking. We really are special. You can laugh and make fun of us as much as you like, but we're the OWP's," I said.

  "Cathy ..."

  "It's all right, Stuart. I really do understand what you're going through. I know now that it would be unfair to ask you to do anything like this. I'm not upset with you. You do have responsibilities to your mother and brother."

  He looked relieved.

  "I mean, I'll be happy to stay with you and if you want to do what I said, help you to do it. Until then, I swear," he said, raising his hand as if he were in court, "I won't talk about any of this. If something h
appens later on, I'll say I didn't really believe it or something, but if I'm part of the impersonation effort and the cover-up, that becomes impossible." "I understand," I said. "I really do."

  He stared a moment.

  "We could still go to the movies," he said. "If you'd like."

  "That's okay. I think I'd better just rest."

  "And think over what I told you," he added, nodding. "I hope you'll come to your senses and convince the others to do the same. Then call me and I'll come running over here, Cathy. I will. That's a promise," he swore, raising his right hand.

  I don't think there was a word I hated more.

  "Thank you, Stuart," I said nevertheless.

  He came to me, kissed me on the forehead as if kissing me on the lips would somehow put an evil, spell on him, and then he turned and walked out. I heard the door open and close. The silence that followed roared in my ears.

  Misty had been so right, I thought. I had grasped the first chance at love. I wanted something that wasn't there so much I refused to heed the warnings. Desperately, I needed to prove to myself that I was capable of loving someone despite what my father had done, and that desperation and my inexperience had blinded me to reality. I felt as terrible about what I had done to my girlfriends as I felt about what I had done to myself. I dreaded the phone call I was going to have to make to them.

  Saddened, I went upstairs and entered our special room. I sat on our rug and lit the candle. Then I closed my eyes. Was Stuart right? Should we tell the police what we had done? Could we get into such deep trouble that everyone would suffer just to help me? I had wanted my freedom and my friends and a normal life so much, I was willing to do almost anything, believe in almost anything, and try almost anything. How I wished I had someone older and wiser to talk to, someone who would listen. I was greatly tempted to call Doctor Marlowe, but to do anything without all the girls agreeing seemed to be even a greater wrong.

  The room wasn't working for me. It was no good without the others, without their spirits and energy combining with mine. I blew out the candle and started out of the room, even more despondent than when I had entered. Suddenly the phone rang. Maybe the room does work, I thought. It had to be Jade, Star, or Misty. They had felt my trouble. I had reached one of them with my cry and now one of them was calling. Hopefully, it was Jade. She would be the most sensible now, I thought.