Undo Me

  It made me sad for him.

  I couldn’t imagine standing in a room full of people who loved me and still feel so alone.

  “You ready, darlin’?” Dylan asked, coming up behind me at my locker.

  “It depends,” I giggled as he tickled my neck. “Are you going to let me drive your Jeep?”

  He smiled, as he spun me to face him.

  “Not a chance in hell.”

  I frowned. “Why? I have my license. You were there when I passed. Remember, you wouldn’t stop flirting with my aunt?”

  My Aunt Celeste loved, I mean really loved Dylan. I couldn’t blame her. He charmed the pants off her.

  She never stood a chance.

  McGraw got up at the butt ass crack of dawn, his words not mine, to witness this monumental event in my life. I was very excited to have two of the most important people in my life be there with me although I wished my mom had made it too. She was supposed to be the one to take me that Saturday morning, but at the last second she got called into the ER, for some head-on collision accident.

  I would be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed and tried my best to hide it from both of them. Dylan and I watched Saturday morning cartoons instead, knowing it was one of my favorite things to do back home. When my doorbell rang not even five hours later and my Aunt Celeste was standing there with a great big smile on her face to take me to get my license, I jumped into her arms. I thought my mom called her like she had done so many times in California to fill her shoes.

  She didn’t.

  Dylan had taken my phone without me realizing it when I went and cried in the bathroom for a few minutes. He called my aunt and she was on the next flight out.

  I couldn’t have loved him more than I did in that moment, and I privately thanked him later for it. We still hadn’t had sex but we did everything else. I don’t know how he resisted the urge. We came close a couple of times, but he never allowed it to go any farther than us just messing around.

  He said I wasn’t ready yet, and maybe he was right.

  “Suga, that’s just my Southern charm.” He kissed me.

  “Please! Can I please drive your Jeep? How am I ever going to learn how to be a good driver if I have nothing to practice on?”

  My mom said I couldn’t have a car until I got more experience, which was interesting seeing as though she was never around for me to gain it.

  “Oh, you know how I love the beggin’.”

  I smiled.

  “Hey, you guys ready?” Alex interrupted, holding her books against her chest.

  “Yep! McGraw is going to let me drive. Keys please,” I stressed.

  Alex smirked, peering between us.

  He placed his keys out in front of him, but then snatched them away from my hand when I tried to reach for them.

  “What do I get?” he arrogantly demanded, tugging on the ends of my hair.

  “A thank you.”

  He cocked his head to the side, waiting. Alex blushed and looked away.

  I stepped toward him, standing on the tips of my toes and whispered into his ear, “I’ll do that thing you like.”

  He nudged his nose on the side of my cheek, murmuring, “What thing?”

  I sighed. “You just want me to say it.”

  “And yet I’m still waiting.”

  I got in closer to his ear. “I’ll talk dirty to you while you go down on me.”

  “While I do what?”

  I narrowed my eyes at him and he grinned.

  “While you eat my pussy.”

  Just like that, he handed me his keys.

  Aubrey was one hell of a fucking runner.

  The girl was like the speed of lightning. I thought she was fast when I saw her running down my street, but that was nothing. She said she was nervous to try out for the track team because she hadn’t ran in months, and she usually spent months conditioning prior to the season starting back in California. I showed up at her house one morning when the sun was barely out and her mom was just getting home from work.

  I told her I was there to help Aubrey get back in shape for track, since tryouts were a month away. She smiled, patted me on my shoulder and told me that I was one of the good guys and proceeded to ask me what I wanted for breakfast. Aubrey was sound asleep when I tiptoed into her room. It was cold that morning and she looked so warm and soft in her bed. I crawled in behind her and wrapped my freezing cold arms across her waist, tugging her toward me. She shrieked so damn loud I thought she might have woken up the neighbors.

  She called me an asshole and tried to fight me off, which only made me hug her tighter.

  But she got up.

  And I got to cop a feel.

  Time was going by so fast. It was February and Aubrey was well into the track season. She didn’t have one problem making the team. Our morning runs paid off, she made varsity right off the bat. She was up for all-state champion that weekend and her aunt couldn’t fly in for the competition. Aubrey said she wasn’t going to bother her mom with it, she knew she was busy.

  I knew the real reason.

  She didn’t want to be disappointed.

  The team had been practicing late most days. Sometimes I stayed and watched. Other times I went and surfed with the boys, but I always came back to pick her up. I took her to and from school everyday.

  I walked up to the nurse’s station at the hospital.

  “Hello, how can I help you?” the receptionist greeted.

  “Hi, I’m looking for Dr. Owens.”

  “Oh, you’re in luck.” She looked away from her computer screen. “She just got out of surgery. She’ll be in her office. Go past those double doors towards the ER.” She pointed down the hall. “Once you get there take the elevator up to the fourth floor. Her room is 479.”

  “Thank you.”

  I made my way up toward her office, pausing for a minute before knocking on the door.

  “Come in.” She smiled when she saw me. “Dylan, what a nice surprise. Is Aubrey okay?” she worried.

  “Yea and no,” I honestly spoke.

  She placed her hand over her heart and breathed out, “Have a seat.”

  I did, looking around her office. She had pictures of Aubrey everywhere, and I immediately wondered if Aubrey knew about it.

  “So what do I owe the honor for this unexpected visit?”

  I smiled. “I’m not sure if you knew that Aubrey made states for track.”

  She leaned her back against her chair, her happy expression quickly faded. “No.” She shook her head. “I didn’t. She didn’t tell me.”

  “Yeah, she—”

  “It’s harder to keep tabs and know what’s going on with her here,” she interrupted out of nowhere. “Back in California I knew everything. Her dad or aunt would tell me everything. Sometimes Aubrey, but usually not,” she informed.

  “She needs you,” I stated. “With all due respect, ma’am,” I added.

  She nervously chuckled. “I know.” She fidgeted with her fingers for a few seconds. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this, but you’re a good young man. I like you, Dylan. My daughter is happy. I haven’t seen her this happy in a long time. I guess, I don’t know, maybe it’s why I don’t worry about her, as much I should. Since I know she has you. Thank you for taking her under your wing.”

  “It’s been my pleasure,” I simply stated.

  She affectionately nodded. “It’s hard to do this single parenting thing. I’m probably doing a really shitty job, huh?”

  “I—”

  She put her hand up in the air to stop me. “Don’t answer that,” she paused. “I’ve always been the provider. That was my role. Aubrey has never wanted for anything. It didn’t matter what it was or how hard it was to get, it was hers. Her father and I used to fight about it all the time. The only reason I haven’t bought her a car is because I’m scared,” she admitted out loud for what seemed like the first time.

  “I’m terrified something will happen to her. She’s my who
le world, Dylan. My reason for living. I love her. I love her more than anything in this world. Please know that.”

  “I do. So does Aubrey.”

  “You really are a good guy. Look at you lying to make me feel better.” She looked down in her lap, thinking about what she wanted to say. “It’s hard to be her mom in the way that she needs me. That’s not a cop out, I swear to you it’s not. I just don’t know how. I tell myself everyday when I look in the mirror. I say today is going to be the day. I’m not going to work so much. I’m going to get to know my daughter. I’m going to be there for her. I’m going to do all those things I know she needs. All those things that I want.”

  Her eyes watered. “But I can’t. I don’t know how, and I’m scared of losing her. I failed my marriage, my husband, and I don’t know if I could handle failing her, too.” A tear escaped from her eye but she quickly wiped it away.

  Here sat this woman I barely knew, other than through passing, and there she was sharing her deepest, darkest secrets with me.

  “I’m not one to judge, ma’am. I love your daughter. I love her very much. I didn’t know love like that existed. I hate seeing her sad or upset. That’s why I’m here. It’s why I came. I know she would really love it if you were at that meet tomorrow. Sitting in the stands cheering her on.”

  She nodded.

  “It starts at seven in the morning and it will probably go till after lunch. It won’t fix everything, but at least it’s a start.”

  “Did she tell you about—”

  “Yes, ma’am, she did.”

  “I figured as much.”

  I stood and she followed, walking me toward the door. At the last second I turned to face her.

  “You know, everything you just said to me. You should say to her, because I’m positive she would love to hear it.”

  She nodded again.

  “I hope she gets to see you tomorrow. Have a good rest of your day, ma’am.”

  I turned and left, not looking back.

  “Dylan!” she shouted when I was near the elevator and I looked in her direction.

  “Thank you.”

  “What if I don’t win?” I asked as he pulled into our school parking lot.

  “Then you don’t win.”

  “That was the worst pep talk ever. You’re fired.”

  “You win some, you lose some, suga’. All that matters is that you tried.”

  “You should have led with that.”

  He laughed, tugging on the ends of my hair.

  I warmed up on the track, getting ready for the long day ahead. The stands were quickly filling. Alex and the boys all showed up to show their support. Not going to lie, I was nervous.

  I wanted to win.

  To prove to myself that I was still that girl from back home, and even though my father left, it didn’t have to define who I was. I could be happy again. Here in Oak Island with Dylan and my new friends who all quickly became my second family. I didn’t feel broken or lonely anymore, I could have a fresh start.

  When I heard the buzzer sound off for the first round of schools to start getting ready, I looked up back toward the stands. I found Alex and the boys, but no sign of Dylan. I peered through the crowd trying to find him. It didn’t take long, he stuck out like a sore thumb with his long blonde hair and his large, stalky build. He was walking toward someone with his hands up in the air, and I followed his gaze.

  My mom.

  She had never been to one meet.

  Not one.

  There she was walking toward the boy that just made me fall in love with him a little bit more.

  “Just one more picture,” Aubrey’s mom requested very much to my annoyance, but I played nice for her. This was her daughter’s first prom, and she was making an effort.

  “Mom, you have like a hundred pictures already. If you take anymore we’re not going to make it to Dylan’s prom.”

  “I know, honey, just one more. Smile. Oh, come on, Dylan, smile!”

  “I am smiling,” I griped, not being able to take much more, my face fucking hurt from smiling so much.

  “Okay, okay, we’re done. You guys look so nice!”

  She pulled Aubrey into a hug and kissed the top of her head. Ever since the track meet three months ago her mom really started trying to become more involved in Aubrey’s life. I don’t know how she worked it out with the hospital, but she was home at least two nights a week, eating dinner with Aubrey. Sometimes I would join them, but most of the time I left them alone. They needed that time together, to reestablish their relationship. To bond and shit. Aubrey was happy and at the end of the day that’s all that mattered.

  “I have to go into work. Be safe and have fun! I’ll call you later.” She kissed her head one last time and then smiled over at me. “Take care of my daughter.”

  “Always.”

  When the garage door closed I made my way over to Aubrey. She looked so fucking gorgeous. I had never seen her look more stunning. She was dressed in a light yellow gown that was perfectly fitted to her ridiculous body, hugging her in all the right places, reminding me how goddamn lucky I really was. Her hair was curled and tied up near the left side of her face. I had never seen her wear so much make-up before, but yet it was the perfect amount. The black eyeliner she wore just accented her bright green eyes even more.

  She was breathtaking.

  “How am I supposed to keep my hands to myself when you look good enough to eat, darlin’?” I caressed the side of her face with the tips of my fingers.

  “That’s the point, McGraw.”

  I looked deep into her eyes. “I love you. I just wanted you to know that.”

  She beamed with a gleam in her gaze, starry eyes that were new and unfamiliar. “I love you, too.”

  Hearing her utter those three words never got old.

  I pulled her toward me by the nook of her neck and kissed her pink pouty lips. “Let’s go show you off, suga.”

  Prom was incredibly cliché, from the streamers down to the balloons. There wasn’t a place in the banquet hall that wasn’t covered with confetti, ribbon, or a decoration of some sort. Aubrey tried to get us to take one of those traditional prom pictures with the photographer and I did it because it made her smile, even though I wanted to shove the camera up his fucking ass.

  I wasn’t much for dancing in a room full of people I barely liked, but when “With or Without You” by U2 came on through the speakers, I grabbed Aubrey’s hand and took her out to the balcony where it was just the two of us. I spun her around in a circle, bringing her into my body, fitting her perfectly in my hold. I guided her arms to wrap around my neck, wanting no space between us. She laid her cheek against my chest and I placed my chin on top of her head, softly singing the lyrics of the song that became ours that night.

  That moment with her had to be one of my favorites.

  We left shortly after dancing to one more song. We were supposed to head over to Ian’s to meet up with the boys, since none of their pussy-asses went to prom. That sure as hell didn’t stop them from crashing after- parties though. The only reason I went was because when I mentioned it to Aubrey her face lit up like a goddamn Christmas tree.

  “Shit! I forgot my cell phone back at my house. My mom might call. I don’t want her to worry. Do you mind heading back over to my house before we go to Ian’s?”

  “I’m onto you, darlin’, always leaving your ‘phone’ at home.”

  Her mouth dropped open.

  “Close that mouth, darlin, unless you want me to stick something in it.”

  She shook her head. “Wow. You go from zero to a hundred in seconds.”

  I laughed. “It’s part of my charm.” I grabbed her hand, bringing it up to my lips.

  “It’s part of your something.” She grinned as I kissed the palm of her hand and placed it onto my lap.

  We drove the rest of the way to her house in comfortable silence. I followed her in to use the bathroom and to grab a water bottle from the kitchen, whil
e she found her phone.

  “Dylan!” Aubrey shouted from her bedroom upstairs. “I need your help with something!”

  I made my way up the stairs and into her room, stopping dead in my tracks.

  What I saw nearly knocked me on my ass.

  I wasn’t nervous.

  Not even a little bit.

  I took off my dress and hung it on the hanger, taking my hair down and letting the soft curls and waves fall around my face. My panties and bra were next, throwing them on the floor next to my bed. I pulled the comforter back to the end of the bed to just lie under the white sheet, barely covering myself before I called out Dylan’s name.

  I would never forget the look on his face when he walked into my room.

  It was a memory I would take to the grave.

  He leaned his shoulder against my doorframe, folding his arms over his chest and cocked his head to the side.

  “Is it bedtime, baby?”

  I smiled. “Why don’t you come here and find out for yourself. I saved the best spot for you,” I said, patting the bed.

  He pushed off the doorframe, slowly taking off his suit jacket and then tie and throwing them on the armchair in the corner of my room. He walked over to me in four precise and calculated strides. Each one more alarming than the last.

  He leaned forward, crawling toward me in the middle of my bed.

  “Do you need me to tuck you in, darlin’?”

  “Sleep isn’t exactly what I had in mind,” I purred in a seductive tone.

  “Is that right?” he drawled out.

  I determinedly nodded, softly kissing his lips. “No more talking, just be with me. Just me and you, right?”

  “Always,” he breathed out between kisses.

  “Touch me, please.”

  I wanted to feel him in every possible manner.

  “Where?” he groaned into my mouth.

  I placed my hand over his heart. “Here.”

  He growled as he opened his mouth, slipping his tongue passed my parting lips. Working it in ways that had my legs spreading to wrap around his waist, my arms quickly followed, doing the same around his neck. He gripped the back of my neck, bringing us closer but still not nearly close enough. I wanted to be one with him. No space or distance between our ravenous bodies. His lips crashed into mine, kissing me gently, adoringly, fervently. Savoring every last touch, every last push and pull, every last movement of his lips working against mine. As if I was made just for him.